Dancing with the Stars

Filomena Tobias: Middle Finger-Flipping Miami Heat Fan's 15 Minutes Of Fame Has Begun

While the viral celebrities of the internet age are, in our minds, all part of the same dysfunctional family (Ladies and gentlemen, the VIRAL Family! Tay, Chris, Antoine, Charles, and Zombie Kid! Ready for action!) , the fact of the matter is that none of them actually know each other, and none of t ... More >>

The Rest of the Best: Houston's Top 5 Blues Clubs

5. THE SHAKESPEARE PUB Congratulations to the owner of Shakespeare Pub for the place's spruced-up digs. Now patrons can enjoy acts like the James Reese Band and Little Terry Rogers in plusher surroundings, not to mention sliding all night to zydeco. Of the nervous sort when it comes to public danci ... More >>

Score One For Tom DeLay: His Democratic Judge Gets Tossed From Case

Former U.S. House Republican leader/Dancing With the Stars contestant Tom DeLay scored big Friday with the recusal of a Democratic judge from his appellate case for money-laundering. Houston attorney Brian "Money-Quote" Wice told Hair Balls he had originally asked Justice Diane Henson to voluntari ... More >>

Corporate Rock Still Sucks

Rock of Ages posits Tom Cruise as a hair-metal god and hair metal as something un-awful.

Is Tom DeLay Actually (Gasp) Correct That A Democratic Justice Can't Judge His Case Fairly?

Long before his tragically brief heyday on Dancing With The Stars, Sugar Land's Tom DeLay was convicted of campaign-finance violations. He's appealing that conviction to the state's 3rd Court of Criminal Appeals in Austin, but many of the judges have taken themselves off the case. One justice who ... More >>

Hand Doc and Strippers

Six Dancing and Singing Toys for the Holidays with Video

The holiday season has crept upon us once again. There is nothing kids love more than toys that can bust a move. Dancing toys have always made the list of hot commodities during the Christmas season. Even some adults are amused and intrigued by their favorite characters moving to the beat. Here's a ... More >>

Video: Hanukkah-Loving Rick Perry Dances Around the Menorah

It's not nearly as bizarre as Tom Delay's appearance on Dancing With the Stars, but this video of Governor Rick Perry celebrating Hanukkah with a group of orthodox Jewish rabbis, intentionally or otherwise, is damn funny if for no other reason than Perry is trying his best not to look really, really ... More >>

Last Night: Joe Jonas At House Of Blues

Photos by Groovehouse​Joe Jonas, Jay Sean House of Blues September 26, 2011 The best part of Monday night's Joe Jonas show at House of Blues was looking down at our phone and seeing one of Nancy Grace's nipples. Nah, homegirl wasn't sexting Aftermath, she had a wardrobe malfunction/ratings bo ... More >>

Top 5 Musical Ed Sullivan Show Controversies

theselvedgeyard.wordpress.com"You want me to sing WHAT now?"​To the right-wing conservatives, religious groups, and self-proclaimed family organizations raising hell over Chaz Bono's "assault on family values" as the first transgender contestant on Dancing With the Stars, Rocks Off asks the q ... More >>

Sex Cures Teen Crime

UT study touts teen relationships

Tom DeLay's Appeal Brief Is As Hilariously Over the Top As He Is

Tom DeLay knows about razzle-dazzle.​Tom DeLay's embarrassing stint on Dancing with the Stars apparently taught him one thng: Go Hollywood and go brash. The appellate brief filed seeking to overturn his money-laundering conviction is, courtesy of Houston lawyer Brian Wice, as over the top as ... More >>

David Alan Grier

Chicago

The 10 Worst Things Texas Has Given To The Modern World

It's not nature's way, it's Houston's​If we were to list all the great, terrific things Texas, Our Texas has given to civilization, we would be here all day. (Two words: Jessica Simpson.) Unfortunately, Texas has also gifted America and the world with some things the world and America would n ... More >>

Pop Rocks: The Black Hole of Infotainment

Jesus christ...​I wonder sometimes if we're approaching the singularity in entertainment reporting. A "singularity," as we all know, is the point in which gravitational forces cause matter to have an infinite density and zero volume. If we define "density" as "number of stories and/or article ... More >>

Pop Rocks: By the Dumb's Early Light

Apu chose an alternate path to citizenship​There's a scene in The American President -- Aaron Sorkin's pre-West Wing exercise in wishful liberalism -- when President Shepherd (Michael Douglas) describes America as "advanced citizenship." It's a nice thought, especially in the fantastical conte ... More >>

My Madden 2012 Cover Ballot

What do you think should go on the cover of Madden 12?​I've said it before, I'm a total sucker for lists. "5 Best This." "8 Worst That." "9 Reasons So-and-so Boned Such-and-such." List it and I'm in. Some will criticize this, and call it a sign of a lazy mind, that I need my world assembled ... More >>

Top 10 Louisiana Bands Of All Time

​Pardon the geographical pun, but besides Texas, our neighbor to the east may be the most musical state in these United States. And in terms of per capita, Louisiana, which ranks 25th in population to Texas' second, is probably second to none. Outside Nashville's Grand Ole Opry, the program m ... More >>

Playing Favorites

HISD partners with the Chronicle on magnet report

Dogging Michael Vick

Ladies and gentlemen, your Dancing With the Stars 11th runner-up.​I guess someone got tired of playing third fiddle to Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly: While setting up a segment on President Obama's recent telephone call to Jeffrey Lurie, the owner of the Philadelphia Eagles (wherein the pres ... More >>

The 10 Biggest Houston Stories Of The Year

Tom DeLay: A conviction to go with the mugshot​There are still a couple days left for earthshaking stories to take place in 2010. But since most news is bad news, let's hope the worst is over. What were the top 10 news stories in Houston in 2010? We're so glad you asked, since we've worked up ... More >>

Margaret Cho's New "Intervention" Video, Shot In The Suburban Wilds Of Houston

Photo by Lindsey ByrnesMargaret Cho, somewhere in Houston​The new video for Margaret Cho's "Intervention" is out, and it's all about Houston. If, that is, you define "all about" as "generically standing in for any suburb anywhere." "We shot it in Houston on a brief moment where all of us wer ... More >>

In Case You Missed It...

Marco TorresIt's a bird... it's a plane... it's... Usher!​Rocks Off knows you have had a busy week. So have we. But, we figured, what with Thanksgiving and Black Friday and traveling to and from your various other holiday ports of call, you may not have had as much time in front a computer as ... More >>

Lindsay Lohan & Demi Lovato: Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Pop Stars

You said it, Demi.​If you're a parent, one day you'll inevitably come to the sobering realization that your child's ultimate happiness is out of your hands. Naturally you're going to avoid feeding them Red Bull and Cheetos for lunch (that's a man's meal) or letting them juggle steak knives, bu ... More >>

Last Night: Michael Bolton At Jones Hall

Photos by Craig Hlavaty​Michael Bolton with the Houston Symphony Jones Hall September 8, 2010 It was a little over a year ago that Aftermath saw Yanni, and just a few months back that we saw Kenny G. Wednesday night we saw Michael Bolton, forming a power-trio of artists that you're not suppos ... More >>

Confessions Of A Sheet Music Salesman

rbcmusic.com​Readers may be surprised to learn this, but searching for YouTube videos to mock and talking about Goth bands does not exactly pay for the finer things in life. So six days a week, Rocks Off - or at least the Rocks Off writer with only one "f" in his name - sells sheet music to th ... More >>

Happy Father's Day! Loser Kids of Rock Star Dads

We all aspire to honor our dads and hope that we've done right by them on Father's Day. Here's a list of offspring whose lives have served no useful purpose on earth other than churning out a never-ending source of disappointment for their rock star dads. ​Sean Lennon Yoko Ono is often credi ... More >>

Fails Of The Week: Insane Clown Posse Hates Science, No Dylan In China, Rihanna & Ke$ha's Auto-Tour

If you're reading this, you're either on the Internet, or else you've mastered multi-dimensional thought-projection processes that would make Michio Kaku cry like a little girl. We'll assume the former, and just in case you don't already know, the Internet has decided that the word "failure" is too ... More >>

Dogging the Dome

An extensive investigation has uncovered secret plans for the Astrodome's future.

Nightfly: Hip Movement

Dance reigns supreme at salsa institution Club Tropicana.

Pop Rocks: More Like Hannah "Tetons," Am I Right?

​Sports Illustrated's annual Swimsuit Issue hit newsstands this week. The cover features model Brooklyn Decker, also known as "Mrs. Andy Roddick." That's far from the only athlete connection in this year's issue, however, as several U.S. Olympians (skiers Lindsey Vonn and Lacy Schnoor and snowboa ... More >>

Turkeys of the Year

In a highly competitive 2009 field, Governor Rick Perry is the biggest gobbler of them all.

Dancing With the Stars: The Light at the End of the Tunnel

​You guys! YOU GUYS! We're closer to the end of Dancing With the Stars than I'd thought! The grid at Futon Critic only had the show running through next week, the 24th. And then, like manna from sequined heaven, Tom Bergeron confirmed at the top of last night's competition ep that next week wi ... More >>

Dancing With the Stars: Gridiron or Iron Chef, Your Times Have Come

Last night was the seventh elimination round of this season's Dancing With the Stars, and the second one to see two people go home. I guess at this point in the season the gimmick is starting to wear off? In which case, why not just have fewer contestants to start? Then again, when 16.4 million pe ... More >>

Dancing With the Stars: The Michael Irvin Conspiracy

His partner may or may not be the devil. Just look at those eyes!​Last night's Dancing With the Stars results show kicked off in an even more insanely dramatic fashion than normal. The montage of clips from the competition ep featured fireball cuts and blood and heavy metal! It's like Stephen ... More >>

Dancing With the Stars: Hey, Mambo!

​Holy crap, you guys! It's week six of Dancing With the Stars! I thought I'd be dead by now. Tom Bergeron's trademark breathless intro made it sound like the celebrities on this show have been at war or something instead of just wearing sequined shirts and soaking up some free press, but he di ... More >>

BREAKING OMG Important!! Tom DeLay Out Of Dancing With The Stars

​People magazine, which has become the place to go to find news about Tom DeLay (and that says a lot more about Tom DeLay than People) is reporting that The Hammer is out of Dancing With The Stars.Stress fractures have become too painful for the wussy Republican, who cried sissy tears at no longer ... More >>

Labor Pains

With Extract, Mike Judge goes back to work.

Rocks Off Exclusive: A Sneak Peek at Tom DeLay's Dancing With the Stars Dance Card

By now, the news about former Sugar Land Congressman Tom DeLay's impending appearance on ABC's Dancing with the Stars has had time to sink in, and the long-term ramifications of this colossal melding of two of our greatest loves (reality television and the suffering of others) are starting to becom ... More >>

Tom DeLay Goes Dancing With The Stars

​It's nice to know that the dignified, studious, classy Tom DeLay we all knew and loved in the Congress is alive and well...and appearing on Dancing with the Stars.Because that's what serious people do.ABC announced today that the former King of Sugar Land will be a contestant along with such nota ... More >>

Tom DeLay to Debut the "Bitch Slap" on Dancing With the Stars Next Month

News is leaking out of Hollywood that former U.S. House Majority Leader and mugshot model Tom DeLay will be part of the cast of next season's ABC hoofer ratings smash Dancing With the Stars. What hasn't come out yet is DeLay's plans to debut a new dance called the "Bitch Slap," an arm-movement-heav ... More >>

Kendra Wilkinson Is Spawning!

Of all the girls from The Girls Next Door, I'm really most pleased that it's Kendra who's having a baby with her fiancé, professional football player Hank Baskett. (Apparently, Hugh Hefner teared up when he heard the news that his little girl was all growed up.)Anyway, back to what I was saying ... More >>

I Can't Get Enough of That Susan Boyle Woman

Many moons ago, I blogged about not being able to stop watching that clip on Dancing with the Stars where Marie Osmond fainted (the post was titled "I Can't Get Enough of Marie Osmond Fainting.") People called me out, saying I was a "sick pervert" and that I represented everything that was wrong wit ... More >>

Can't Get It Out of My Head: Anya Marina's "Whatever You Like"

So in addition to not being able to get T.I's "Whatever You Like" outta our skulls since last fall, here comes blonde pixie Anya Marina's sultry acoustic version of the hip-hop hit. Marina is based out of San Diego, Calif., and when she's not writing sweet lil' acoustipop with her backing band, sh ... More >>

Turning the Screw: Dustin Prestige, Kid Cudi, King Tut, Rick Ross/50 Cent, Ludacris, Lil' Kim, T.I./Chris Brown, Fat Pat and More

Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off's weekly rap post. It probably won't rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Thanks, homies. Single of the Week: "Dope," Dustin Prestige Wire To Wire Kid Cudi was tasered at an NBA All-Star Game party in ... More >>

Michael Irvin Brings Dallas Cowboys Reality Show to Spike TV

Are you a Dallas Cowboys fan? Are you disappointed with the way the season ended? Do you think that the problem might have a little something to do with head coach Wade Phillips? Or offensive coordinator Jason Garrett? Perhaps you're like Troy Aikman who thinks the problem is that Tony Romo spe ... More >>

Michael Irvin Brings Dallas Cowboys Reality Show to Spike TV

Are you a Dallas Cowboys fan? Are you disappointed with the way the season ended? Do you think that the problem might have a little something to do with head coach Wade Phillips? Or offensive coordinator Jason Garrett? Perhaps you're like Troy Aikman who thinks the problem is that Tony Romo spe ... More >>

ABC to Premier Dancing With The Guards

Thanks, Nick!

Nick Lachey