Darth Vader

Summer of Johnny: Looks Like The Haters Got To Manziel

Every hero has his setbacks. Nothing is forever, and no story is just a perpetual arrow pointing upward, with puppy dogs and gumdrops (or, in this case, bikini clad coeds and jello shots) 24 by 7. Rocky had to get his brains splattered by Clubber Lang one time, Luke Skywalker had to get his hand ch ... More >>

Keep Calm and Carry On Twittering: Social Media Returns to Form After Tragedy

Less than 24 hours after the worst bombing on American soil since 9/11, one of my friends posted on Facebook a picture of Darth Vader riding a unicycle wearing a kilt and playing bagpipes. I scroll through my Twitter feed and see the familiar jokes, memes, posts about food and talk of the Rockets an ... More >>

Suspense! A Daring Escape! International Intrigue!! Action-Packed Security Video Shows Hit At Indonesian Consulate

Most surveillance videos offer long stretches of not a lot happening, interspersed with a brief burst of criminal activity. But this latest offering from Crime Stoppers and HPD, my God -- suspense, international intrigue, a frantic chase and sprint for freedom -- it's the summer blockbuster of the ... More >>

The Six Worst One-Game Uniforms You'll See In The 2012 College Football Season

Look good, feel good, play good? Not in these cases. This list doesn't include full-time offenders like Houston, who substituted a perfectly slick design for a blob. Instead, these universities -- some with long traditions -- will subject us to a fashion upchuck on select game days.

Rap Round Table: Who Is the Greatest Movie Villain of All Time?

Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. This Week's Panel: E.S.G., Marcus Manchild, Renzo, Kyle Hubbard, Purple Bastard, Preemo, Mic Skills, Mac, more. Not Invited: Michael Myers, becau ... More >>

Orbit: Odyssey Plus Star Wars

Star Wars Day: Recasting The Movie With '70s Rock Stars

Today is Star Wars Day, or "May the 4th be with you." Something less than a national holiday but more than a horrific pun, it's evidence that we still very much live in a Star Wars world 35 years after the movie was released, as well as that once the Internet gets ahold of an idea, the rest of us mi ... More >>

Not A List: Your Favorite Musicians As Food

Sometimes an idea comes from the basest regions of your brain. Sometimes you think of something so stupid that you need to share it with your art director. Sometimes the snow comes down in June, and sometimes the Sun goes 'round the Moon, right? Anyone with a Tumblr who isn't addicted to free porn ... More >>

Last Night: Creed At Bayou Music Center

Creed Bayou Music Center April 30, 2012 Villains are infinitely more interesting than heroes, and have way better origin tales. All human mythology features roguish baddies, who are actually more engaging than their lily-hearted counterparts. Kids of all ages dress up like Darth Vader and the Joker ... More >>

''Personalities and Provocateurs''

The 10 Most Iconic John Williams Scores Ever

Today John Williams turns 80 years old, and the prolific composer has packed in a lot of work in the past five decades as one of the most iconic movie music makers to lead an orchestra. No doubt you have been enthralled, enraptured and enfrightened (not a word) by his collaborations with George Luca ... More >>

10 Rappers As Movie Villains

​Cunning criminals, violent geniuses, charismatic characters. Villains give us chills and keep us on the edge of our seats. With more rappers now dabbling in acting, we decided to cast some of your favorite hip-hoppers as movie villains. Here are ten rappers and their evil alter-egos.

Snoopcounters: Snoop Dogg Knows A Lot Of People

​This week, rapper Snoop Dogg turned 40 years old. Tha Doggfather actually seems ageless to us, and we don't mean his 1996 album. Like, we fully expect him to become the hip-hop Willie Nelson: Rapping into his late 70s, relentlessly touring, smoking people a fraction of his age out in tour bus ... More >>

Lindsey Buckingham

How Much of a Pendejo is Gustavo?

And why are cholos always wearing such white shirts, shoes and socks?

Shuttle Atlantis: Its 10 Weirdest Mission Patches

In May, as it prepared to take off, we offered a list of the five coolest mission patches of the shuttle Endeavour. We wish we could do the same for the Atlantis, scheduled tentatively to go up on the last shuttle mission Friday, but it appears the ship did not provide as much inspiration as the En ... More >>

Former Texan QB Rex Grossman Declares Himself The Starter For A Team He's Not Signed With

He's not called the Sex Cannon for nothing​Let me preface what I'm about to say by saying that I like Rex Grossman. Kind of like pizza or midgets, he's always struck me as a clear "any time you add him to the current scenario, the atmosphere improves" kind of guy -- as long as the "current sc ... More >>

Tales of the Deplorable -- ESPN's Instant Analysis of Depth Chart Ramifications of Alabama Offensiv LIneman's Death

In The Empire Strikes Back, you may remember a scene where Darth Vader, tired of the incompetence of the bumbling Admiral Veers, decides to go ahead and terminate him, permanently, via force choke, and immediately promote Veers' subordinate Captain Piett before they could even move Veers' body out o ... More >>

Super Bowl XLV Commercials: The 5 Best And 5 Worst

Baby Darth Vader is soooooo cutesy-wootsey​From Audi to Groupon, yesterday's Super Bowl Commercials ran the gamut. There was less blatant sexism than previous years, and a lot more CGI, and a few commercials sure to have people talking either due to their shock value or outright offensiveness. ... More >>

NFL Playoff Best Bets (and a Tiger Woods Wagering Lesson)

Angry Birds: As good a playoff-picking method as any​Every Friday (Thursday some weeks) when I go to fish the lines for that weekend's football games off the Internet, I go to the same site. (Point of non-disclosure: I will not reveal the name of the site which I use to wager go to. Easily t ... More >>

Future Elvis: What If The King Had Lived?

​Do you realize that Woody Allen, Julie Andrews, the dude who was in the Darth Vader suit, and Ron Paul are all the same age as Elvis Presley would be on Saturday? Look at Woody Allen next time you see him on TMZ and just think, he's as old as Elvis. In order to get in the frame of mind to t ... More >>

Island Of Misfit Albums: A Star Wars Christmas

​One thing that always bothered Rocks Off growing up as a born-again Christian child who was into the apparently godless world of Star Wars was whether or not they celebrated Christmas. The birth of Jesus Christ and stuff. Santa Claus, crap that matters. We can only assume under Empire rule th ... More >>

The 5 Browns

Four Loko: We Investigate Just How Bad It Is (UPDATED With Morning-After Reflections)

Science!!!!​The latest bit of juvenile delinquency that has the authorities up in arms is Four Loko, a powerful caffeinated beer that's sending kids to hospitals.The "powerful" part -- 12 percent alcohol in a 24-ounce can -- gets you wasted, and the "caffeinated" part keeps you up instead of passi ... More >>

The French Soccer Team: Five Movies That Would Have Ended Differently With Les Bleus In Them

When the going gets tough....​France is in an uproar over their soccer team, which has not only sucked to an incredible degree in the World Cup but which has also gone on strike -- IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORLD CUP -- because their feelings were hurt.Why did they strike? One of the players criticized ... More >>

Annise Parker's Star Wars Choice: She's With The Bad Guys

City of Houston photosSo that's what Stormtroopers look like when they take off their helmets​ We'll admit freely that we're not the biggest Star Wars fans in the world. Given the fanaticism of some Jedi followers, it's an easy claim to make.But we thought -- and correct us if we're wrong -- that ... More >>

Waiting Room: The Brand-New Health-Care Package Needs Its Own Soundtrack

​This past week, the health-care reform debate reached an end, as the bill was passed by Congress Sunday night and signed into law by President Barack Obama on Tuesday. At stake was the health and well-being of millions of uninsured Americans who now stand to be covered by socialized governmen ... More >>

Game Time: Shaq And Dwight Howard Battle Over Who Is The Real Fruit Of Jor-El's Loins

​Back when I was a little kid on the mean streets of Austin (Yep, I lived there for two years during my youth) in the mid-`70's, me and a few of my fellow second-graders would play Star Wars during recess. We would pretend the jungle gym was the Millenium Falcon, the area behind the rocks was Tato ... More >>

Game Time: Review Of ESPN's 30 For 30: The U

Whenever people ask me what the best sporting event is that I've ever been to, the answer is always an easy one: October 15, 1988...Notre Dame 31, Miami 30. It had all the critical elements of a personal "best sporting event ever" --- Heated rivalry? Check. Brawl before the game in the tunnel? ... More >>

Game Time: Larusso Vs. Skywalker, The Death Match

​I'm not afraid to admit it, I'm a huge fan of The Karate Kid. And I'm not just talking "guilty pleasure" fan.No sir, not only do I actually own all three DVD's in the Karate Kid trilogy, but my Karate Kid III DVD actually has some scenes that skip because of wear and tear. Yeah, you heard me, t ... More >>

The Final Fantasy: An Inside Look at Anime and Cosplay Conventions

Photos by Jeff BalkeWe don't know who this character is supposed to be, but she was killing some Japanese opera.​The costumes are expected. The fanciful, the extraordinary, the bizarre, the obscurely referenced, the painstakingly planned and the larger than life weren't surprising -- after all ... More >>

Halloween Countdown: Fool-Proof Last-Second Inspirations

This is the final post in our series of articles offering Halloween costume advice. Check out the other four entries here, here, here and here. You've been too busy to run by Frankel's, Party Boy or even Wal-Mart to start formulating your Halloween costume this year. No ideas have jumped out at yo ... More >>

Aftermath: John Williams' Score, Crafty Editing Redeem the Prequels - Somewhat - at Star Wars: In Concert

Photos by Craig Hlavaty/ Click here for a slideshow​ Shortly after the release of Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace in 1999 - indeed, about 15 minutes or so into the movie - many (if not most) fans' hearts sank as they realized the 15-something years they had waited for George Lucas to fil ... More >>

Talking With C-3PO Himself, Anthony Daniels, About Star Wars: In Concert

A few weeks back, Rocks Off had the pleasure of speaking with actor Anthony Daniels, the man in the golden suit and the physical embodiment of one of the most iconic characters in popular science fiction. Since production began in 1976 on A New Hope, better known of course as Star Wars, Daniels has ... More >>

Five Decent Bands Named After Star Wars Terminology

www.myspace.com/aerosith"If this is a consular ship, where is the ambassador?": Aerosith​ Since the release of the first Star Wars in 1977, through the subsequent sequels and disappointing prequels, pop culture has been awash in Force-related mania. People name their children Luke and Leia, family ... More >>

An Hour in Sunny 99.1's Holiday Hell

Band Aid: Do they know it's Christmastime at all? Most people I know hate Sunny 99.1, but not me. And I should really hate it. Any radio station supported by the American Dental Association has to suck. But every time I listen to it, I either hear something so corny and half-baked that I can't tur ... More >>

Don’t Blame Me. I Voted for the Duck.

Lightsabers and Tits Don't Quite Hide Soul Calibur IV's Lack of Ideas

A Bit Force-ed

The Force Is Strong With This One

Sydney White

Someone stop Amanda Bynes from updating another classic

The Force Runs Its Course

Dang, You've Got Skills!

Show 'em off at a midnight screening of Napoleon Dynamite

Excess Hollywood

In the season of sequels and Happy Meal toys, '05 may be a pleasant surprise.

On the Dark Side

Why Episode III isn't the movie it should have been

Sith Is It

George Lucas at last delivers the Star Wars prequel we've been waiting for

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War on War Songs

Iraq and roll don't go together well when rockers protest

Unmasked!

MFA exhibit uncovers the secrets behind our facial disguises

Museum with 1,000 Faces

Masks: Faces of Culture

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