David Stern

All-Star Weekend: Five Things Houston Got Right

Whenever there is a large event in the city of Houston, there is a moment where Houstonians who really want things to go well hold our collective breath and hope nothing crazy happens. We imagine the worst: 90-degree weather with 100 percent humidity, giant mosquitoes the size of humming birds, roac ... More >>

NBA Commish David Stern Asks Jim Rome "Have You Stopped Beating Your Wife Yet?"

"Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" -- NBA Commissioner David Stern in what I hope was a rhetorical question to Jim Rome, 6/13/12 Since the first NBA Draft Lottery in 1985 gift-wrapped Patrick Ewing to the downtrodden New York Knicks, there have been conspiracy theorists galore that have sur ... More >>

NBA Finals: Series Prediction and a Few Prop Bets

Finally, it's here! If you had allowed David Stern to sit in a room with all 16 playoff teams on the wall by conference, and allow him to pick his dream matchup for the NBA Finals, it's without a doubt the Miami-Oklahoma City matchup we're getting here. LeBron versus Durant, big market versus small ... More >>

Houston Rockets 2012: Tales from the Stinkhole, Volume 2 ("At Least We're Not Charlotte")

The plight of the Rocket fan has been well documented in this space. One playoff series win in the last 15 years. Both of the other Texas franchises winning NBA titles within the last five years. Three straight finishes in the highest spot outside of the playoffs (the proverbial "stinkhole"). No luc ... More >>

NBA Formalwear: Chase Budinger's NBA Socks Worn Under His Suit At Tilman Fertitta's Charity Event

On the evening of May 2, John Granato and I had the opportunity to broadcast a "very special edition" of our show on 1560 The Game live from local restaurant and casino mogul Tilman Fertitta's palatial (Understatement Adjective of the Year, by the way) estate in River Oaks. It was the annual "Gath ... More >>

Five Things for the Rockets to Consider This Offseason

Another offseason is upon us in Houston. While other teams battle it out in the playoffs, Houston Rockets fans are left to wait until next year...again. With three straight lottery seasons and only one second round appearance since 1997, it's no wonder fans are fatigued and want to see things shaken ... More >>

Houston Rockets Acquire Marcus Camby And Derek Fisher. Wilford Brimley Next?

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post where I offered up some proposition wagers for the degenerates in the crowd who like to bet on really obscure things. (Yes, I am gazing into the mirror right now.) One of them was "Total Trades Made Before Deadline: OVER/UNDER 1 1/2" At the time, I cautiously took t ... More >>

Say What You Will About the Rockets, At Least They Aren't The Clippers

We all learned yesterday that the Rockets have fallen to the bottom of the heap when it comes to local television ratings, worse than all but three woeful NBA franchises despite having a winning record now halfway through this lockout-shortened season. In fact, their ratings dropped a whopping 40 p ... More >>

One Man's NBA All-Star Reserve Selections

Go ahead and chalk up the NBA All-Star Game taking place in a few weeks (Sunday, February 26, to be exact) in Orlando's Amway Center as the next "feels weird" moment of the NBA season. It feels like the season just tipped off a few weeks ago and yet here we are, about 20 games in, deciding who the b ... More >>

Some Modest Suggestions for Bud Selig, MLB Commissioner For Life

Yep, we're still stuck with this bozo​In case you missed the news last week, Bud Selig's contract to be the commissioner of Major League Baseball has been extended another two years -- this coming after Selig had announced several years ago that he was retiring at the end of his current contra ... More >>

NBA Purgatory

Neither the best nor the worst, the Rockets remain stuck in professional basketball's great midsection.

Rape, Scandal, Greed and Cockfighting -- The 2011 Sports Year In Review

2011: Penn State's horrible year​You know how, in the series 24, the way a season unfolds? How just when you think there has been some sort of resolution to the bad guys being bottled up, right then and there a new (often worse) layer is introduced, and ultimately in like Hour 22 Jack Bauer wi ... More >>

Colts 19, Texans 16: The Day The Sports Gods Reminded Houstonians To Know Our Role

Oh, there goes gravity​For months, it seemed as though the Texans were the average Houstonian's sports salvation. Never mind the Astros' status as the worst organization in baseball and a Bud Selig-forced move to the American League after 50 years. Never mind that the Rockets, after cleverly ... More >>

Rockets Announce 2011-2012 Schedule -- 6 Things You Need to Know

Kevin Martin: Not a big national-TV draw.​My excitement for the upcoming NBA season was moderately brimming before yesterday (due in large part to a $50 prop bet I placed a couple months ago on the season starting on or before Christmas -- CHA-CHING!), but two things happened yesterday. First ... More >>

NBA Players Discuss Starting A New League (Go Ahead And Laugh, It's Okay)

GREAT idea!!​"Obviously we're trying to ... get this lockout resolved. We want to play NBA basketball. But if it doesn't happen what are we gonna do? We can't just sit around and not do anything. So we have to figure out ways to now continue to play basketball at a high level against top compe ... More >>

NBA Lockout Could End or Season Could Be Canceled This Weekend

David Stern has it.​The continuing NBA lockout may be coming to a head this weekend as talks between representatives for the players and owners resume on Friday. Training camps around the league have been canceled as have some preseason games, and if talks were to break off this weekend with n ... More >>

O RLY? Rockets Sending Out Open House Invites, Season Ticket Offers

O RLY, Kevin McHale?​There is a classic Internet meme characterized by a photo of a silly-looking bird with the phrase "O RLY?" written across it. The meme was designed to signify someone's response to an outrageous statement, usually posted on a bulletin board. For example, Nerd One might say ... More >>

International Incident! Georgetown Basketball Loses a Brawl to the Chinese (w/VIDEO)

China, be glad Michael Graham wasn't there.​I've said many times that the greatest sports memories that we have tend to fall into that (relatively) carefree part of our lives from teenage years through mid to late 20s, before the burden of life and lack of free time infringe upon our ability t ... More >>

2011 NBA Draft -- The Live Blog

Keep coming back for the latest​The overwhelming consensus on the 2011 NBA Draft is that it's, by and large, a pretty underwhelming group of players, and it may quite possibly be completely devoid of future All-Stars. So why am I so excited about tonight's festivities? Because of all the thin ... More >>

NBA Lottery -- Where Houston Rockets Point Guards Go to Die

I see disaster in your future.​"So you're saying there's a chance..." -- Lloyd Christmas Yes. 1.82 percent, to be exact. Those are the odds that the ping pong balls will fall the Houston Rockets' way tonight at the annual NBA Draft Lottery and they wind up with a top three pick. After finis ... More >>

Finally...the 2011 Jim Rome Smack-Off Recap

Glory days, well they pass you by....​"It's good to be in something from the ground floor, but I came in too late for that. But lately I get the feeling that I came in at the end, that the best is over." -- Tony Soprano In the first three minutes of the greatest television show of all-time, ... More >>

David J. Stern: Former Klein Forest Soccer Coach, Now Epicenter of Florida's Foreclosure Crisis

David J. Stern: Former Houston-area soccer coach getting no respect.​A man named David J. Stern has been getting a lot of attention lately -- The New York Times and the South Florida Sun-Sentinel have named him as a key figure in the massive collapse of Florida's mortgage and foreclosure crisi ... More >>

The 7 Basic WWE Metaphors For Real Life Situations (w/ video)

Let's get ready to....examine life!!!​I'm working on my 2009-2010 NBA Preview which should be done by tomorrow. I hope that some of you will cut me slack given that a whopping three games will be in the books by the time it gets posted here on Hair Balls, including the Rockets opener against the L ... More >>

Texans-Giants, Debacle: The Sequel -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

Big Blue leaves a bruise in Houston​Driving down Murworth to the media lot on Sunday morning at around 10 a.m., if it weren't for signs directing us to various colored lots and a few orange cones, you'd have barely known there was anything going on at Reliant that day, let alone an NFL football ga ... More >>

Brian Tuohy's The Fix Is In: Nothing In Sports Is As It Seems

OTOH, maybe the fix isn't in​As hard as it might be to believe, every Super Bowl since 1996 has been fixed. No, not fixed by gamblers or players trying to throw the game. But instead fixed by the NFL. Sure it sounds a bit far-fetched, but that's the allegation made by Brian Tuohy in his book, The ... More >>

Game Time: LeBron James: The Decision -- You Suck, ESPN

LeBron is Cleveland's new "Cuyahoga River on fire"​"It's been a real humbling experience to be in this position." -- LeBron James on his self-requested, one hour made-for-LeBron TV special on ESPNIf you lived in Houston at the time, you remember September 13, 2008. That was the morning after Hurr ... More >>

Game Time: LeBron James -- Seven Scenarios For Thursday Night

@dramaqueen​"Hello World, the Real King James is in the Building 'Finally'. My Brother @oneandonlycp3 gas'd me up to jump on board so I'm here. Haaaa" -- LeBron James (oh sorry...@KingJames on Twitter, and what is sadly his most interesting tweet thus far)I've always thought that when Twitte ... More >>

GAME TIME: NBA Draft: 8 Winners and 8 Losers

As in most things in life, Calipari is both a winner and loser​"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 2010 NBA Draft..." -- David SternI'm not going to lie, those words give me a tingly feeling every year that I hear them. It never gets old -- like reruns of The Sopanos or seeing that Bree Ol ... More >>

Game Time: NBA Free Agent Summit: The Four Horsemen Guide to 2010 Free Agency

Worldwide Wes, pulling strings​"The only time this much havoc had been wreaked by this few a number of people, you need to go all the way back to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse!" -- Arn AndersonAnd with that seemingly throwaway line during a wrestling promo, one of the most entertaining fact ... More >>

The Twitterverse

More than just cyberspace, the tweet life inspires people to make friends and adopt causes in person. It has a few problems, too.

Game Time: Sports Fans Everywhere Pour Out a 40 for Chet Simmons, ESPN's First President

Good night, dear Chet. May choirs of Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders lead you to rest.​As someone whose business career has largely consisted of working for start-up companies, and whose radio career has consisted of starting an afternoon radio show from scratch on a station started from scratch, ... More >>

Game Time: Areans Vs. Crittenton In Pistols...And We're Off And Running In 2010

​Happy New Year to all of you. Quick question -- what is the record for breaking a New Year's Resolution that doesn't involve alcohol, drugs or sex? Because I just ate a Chipwich for breakfast...just wondering. Well, 2010 is here, and that means we get to hit the reset button on "Surreal Story of ... More >>

Where Does Sunday's Rockets Victory Rank? It'll Have To Top These To Make The Top Five

Where does yesterday's deceptively close 99-87 shellacking of the Lakers rank in the annals of great Rockets victories? It's too soon to tell. If they build on that win by taking this series and then slip into their fifth NBA finals, minus not just Yao but also his geriatric Congolese understudy, no ... More >>

NBA Playoff Preview: Your Guess Is As Good As Mine

The New NHL Uniforms Are Hot. Damn Hot.

It's Gotta Be the Shoes: Stephon Marbury Talks about Going Global

Dumb Questions, Dumber Answers

Swoopes: Hardwoods Homie

A Comets star helps redefine Houston basketball

When Online Got Off Base

Or: How Mark Cuban would have--and could have?--saved the music biz

Arena Love

The establishment's attack dog is muzzled, so far

Arena Wars

"Environmental Darth Vader" pushed as campaign consultant

Rocket Men

The Chron plays the Louisville card

News Hostage

Love and Rockets

News Hostage

All About Elyse

After years of making Mayor Bob presentable, Houston's First Lady is ready to get serious. Seriously.