Denise Richards

  • News

    May 12, 2011

    Pet Sounds

    Animal psychic Sonya Fitzpatrick hears voices - the dog and cat kind.

  • Blogs

    April 7, 2011

    Pop Rocks: The Black Hole of Infotainment

    Jesus christ...​I wonder sometimes if we're approaching the singularity in entertainment reporting. A "singularity," as we all know, is the point in which gravitational forces cause matter to have an infinite density and zero volume. If we define "density" as "number of stories and/or article ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2011

    Charlie Sheen: A Guide to His Porn Stars (Some Are From Texas!)

    Actor Charlie Sheen is either a true American hero or a drug-addicted, porn-obsessed monster, depending on who you ask. The Two and a Half Men star and one-time Oliver Stone muse was admitted to the hospital with extreme stomach pains in his most recent incident. That all came on the heels of what ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 11, 2011

    Rudy Soliz, Sex-Bribed Border Patrol Officer: We Hope It Was Worth Two and a Half Years in Prison

    Thirty months in prison to remember his tryst​Oh, former Customs and Border Protection agent Rudy Soliz III, we can only hope -- for your sake -- that she was unbelievable in bed. But unless you were Matt Dillon in the middle of the Neve Campbell/Denise Richards Wild Things sandwich, we're gu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 24, 2009

    Dancing With the Stars: Nearing the Finish Line

    ​Do you smell that? That potent mixture of stardust, flop sweat, and desperation? It's like burnt cinnamon and broken dreams. And it can mean only one thing: The final week of Dancing With the Stars. The show's whole pointlessness was driven home in Tom Bergeron's opening narration, when he ... More >>

  • News

    October 22, 2009

    Houston's Choice for Mayor

    Black Guy, Rich White Guy, Lesbian or Hispanic Republican

  • Blogs

    November 17, 2008

    How Quantum of Solace Stacks Up

    As you may have noticed, a new James Bond movie opened last weekend. Sony executives are celebrating Quantum of Solace's $70 million opening - the biggest for any Bond movie - by snorting gold-plated cocaine atop a palanquin borne by castrated former Viacom employees, but we at Hair Balls are quietl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 16, 2008

    Balls...Hair Balls: The Five Best Bond Movies

    Everyone has their own criteria for answering the all-important question: Which of the 22 (official) James Bond movies is your favorite? For example, I was never a huge fan of the gadgetry and thought Lazenby, though underrated, never was a good fit. Your mileage may vary according to your toler ... More >>

  • Film

    November 13, 2008

    Quantum of Solace Is Neither Shaken Nor Stirred

    Marc Forster has a license to confuse and bore

  • Blogs

    June 25, 2008

    Wow. Charlie Sheen is a Real Asshole.

    I admit I’ve done my fair share of whining with regard to Denise Richards. But when it comes to Denise’s ex, Charlie Sheen, all I can say is…wow. He’s an asshole. It’s recently come to light that in 2005, Mr. Men at Work left a series of totally horrible voice mail messages on Denise’s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 17, 2008

    What I’d Like To Do to Dina Lohan and Denise Richards

    Can you relate to this? Have you ever found yourself collapsed on the couch, reaching for your drool cup, unable…yes unable to move from your position even though what you are viewing on television absolutely horrifies and disgusts you? And you begin to question your value as a fit human being, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 2, 2008

    Denise Richards is Getting Her Own Reality Show…Next Up, My Postal Carrier Inks a Deal with E!

    So Denise Richards is getting her own reality show on E! titled “It’s Complicated.” Why is this so? Why is Denise Richards getting her own show? Because she slept with her friend Heather Locklear’s ex-husband Richie Sambora? Because she was married to Charlie Sheen? Because she had gues ... More >>

  • Film

    December 28, 2000

    Better in Pairs

    Generally a letdown, the year in film offered some well-crafted works that are best viewed as double features

  • Film

    August 31, 2000

    Chewing the Fat

    Amanda Peet and her perfect choppers grind up the brainless suitors in Whipped

  • Film

    August 3, 2000

    Invisible Id

    Insipid Hollow Man uses science to explore the outer edges of puerile male aggression

  • Music

    December 16, 1999

    Local Rotation

    Local Music Reviewed

  • Film

    November 18, 1999

    Enough Is Enough

    Even a first-rate Brosnan can't save this World

  • Film

    July 22, 1999

    Crude but Clever

    Beauty pageants go "mockumentary" in Drop Dead Gorgeous

  • Film

    November 6, 1997

    Big Bad Bugs

    In Starship Troopers, Paul Verhoeven plays to the mall rats