Die Hard

The Hangover Part III: The Heart of Fartness

Funny but unlovable, the "wolf pack" returns for round 3.

Fear of a Shane Black Planet: The Iron Man 3 Auteur's Career, Reconsidered

A Real American Miracle

Could a G.I. Joe movie actually almost be good?

G.I. Joe: Retaliation’s a Battle of Dumb Pleasures Versus Your Higher Brain Function

Old Habits Die Hard

Breaking new ground in incoherence and stupidity.

Die Hard, Die Alone

When John McClane lost his family, the movieslost much of John McClane

Inspector Owl and the Bloody World of Underground Hungry Hungry Hippo Bouts

It's been awhile since my main dealer of great indie-rock music videos, Mick Cullen of Subterranean Radio, managed to connect. Either his wares were not quite to my taste, or they were and the bands never responded. This time, though, he sent me some local (for him) heroes in the form of Inspector O ... More >>

The Punishers

To see the fights, Universal Soldier 4 demands you suffer.

Action Movies Don't Have to Suck

A lament for lost carnage - and coherence.

Mac Miller Lyrics in Meme Form

An old Mac Miller mixtape under his first moniker, EZ Mac​As long as Mac Miller has been hot, we've been under the assumption that he only has shine because his indie labelmate Wiz Khalifa scored a radio hit. No one can actually like this dude because he raps well. No one could've possibly fol ... More >>

Pop Rocks: And I Beheld a Pale Horse, and His Name That Sat Upon Him Was Gump

Behold the doom of mankind.​Yesterday the Library of Congress announced the 25 films selected by the U.S. National Film Preservation Board for inclusion in the National Film Registry. One of which, judging by online reaction, was a bit of a surprise: The Oscar-winning "Forrest Gump," Walt Dis ... More >>

"And A S.W.A.T Team in a Pear Tree": Hip Hop Christmas songs

​Have you grown tired of hearing the same played out Christmas songs on 99.1 yet? Of course you have. Even if you avoid the radio, you hear the music at the grocery store, company holiday parties, even at bars you escape to in order to avoid holiday overcheer. It's almost depressing. Christmas ... More >>

Pop Rocks: 10 Actors Whose Former Creepiness We Can't Get Over

Eww.​So I'm being forced to watch The Good Wife last Sunday, and I see that Colin Sweeney, a semi-recurring character Alicia once defended for murdering his wife, was apparently involved in testifying for Alicia's firm for one reason or other (give me a break, the entire hour was me wrestling ... More >>

Pop Rocks: We Must Avenge Patrick Swayze

​Assholes: Surf thriller "Point Break" will get a modern update by Alcon and Warner Bros., much to fans' chagrin. According to Deadline.com, the new version will be set in the world of extreme sports. Kurt Wimmer ("Salt," the upcoming "Total Recall" remake) has written the script for the ne ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Basic Cable Blues -- The 10 Movies You Will Always Watch When They Come On

​You know the feeling: it's 11 p.m., you're lying half-conscious on your couch and thinking tonight -- tonight -- is the night you're finally going to go to bed before midnight and get a decent night's sleep. Maybe this will be start of a new chapter in your life, one in which you no longer cl ... More >>

Idol Beat: Mona Lisas And Mad Haleys

​Hans Gruber: You are most troublesome, for a security guard. John McClane: Eeeh! Sorry Hans, wrong guess. Would you like to go for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change? It's double jeopardy of a sort for the remaining 11 Idol hopefuls, because thanks to the judges' save of Cas ... More >>

Top Ten Houston Sports Stories in 2010 (Alternate Title: "Here Comes The Prozac")

Brian Cushing will bring a keg and Fear of Tumors to your party​Putting together a "Top 10 Sports Moments" list is not supposed to invoke these feelings of anger and depression. But then again, I live in Houston, so try as I might to make this a list that is uplifting and inspiring, I can't. ... More >>

11 Musical New Year's Resolutions For 2011

​Craig's Hlist stopped making New Year's Eve resolutions the older and more stubborn we got. We normally don't quit or change things forever unless we are forced to do so. ('Sup, ladies?) This makes it hard for us to keep any New Year's Eve resolutions. If anything, it's easier to change organ ... More >>

10 Sequels That Don't Need To Happen

Please god, no...​For those who've been pining for the return of the "Blue Steel" and the "Magnum," your patience is about to be rewarded: Ben Stiller is dead in the middle of promoting "Little Fockers," out Dec. 22, but he's already got his eye on yet another sequel: "Zoolander 2." Stiller ... More >>

Die Hard

Top Eight Worst Musician Vanity Film Projects

​Rocks Off won't speak for everyone, but if we ever found ourselves a platinum-selling artist, we kinda doubt we'd press our luck by veering off into the world of acting. We mean, it hardly ever works from the opposite direction (right, Don Johnson?), so what good can possibly come from assumi ... More >>

10 TV Rooms In Houses Big Enough To Have Elevators

If your house is big and fancy enough to have an elevator (or a shaft ready for an elevator if you desire), then it's probably not your basic shotgun shack. And you, the owner, are probably someone who puts a lot of thought into your home.Like, say, in the TV/media room.We checked the Houston Associ ... More >>

Little Haus on Upper Kirby

Sixteen years in, Hans' Bierhaus is as good as ever.

One Live Humpback Whale: Local Fantasy Tour Riders

​Everyone probably knows that top-selling bands like Van Halen routinely demand everything short of the moon and stars for their tour contract and rider, but specifically No Brown M&Ms. Some bands have a schedule for required nourishment, or in Rush's case, for booze. The "Weekly Booze Schedul ... More >>

Precious Little Life

Scott Pilgrim and Michael Cera get soul.

Remember Killa Cal-Wayne's About My Brother's Business?

Houston's history is dotted with albums that, fairly or not, have been swept aside. We'll examine them here. Have an album that you think nobody knows about but should? Email sheaserrano@gmail.com. Killa Cal-Wayne About My Brother's Business (mixtape, 2010) ​As a rapper, Killa Cal-Wayne is s ... More >>

NBC's Thursday Night: I Walked On Your Face!

Buzz Aldrin is officially cooler than you are.​This is my third week blogging about NBC's Thursday comedies as a whole, and I'm really enjoying the experience of watching them as a block. Between my DVR, sites like Hulu, and a willingness to look around for other online videos whose legality I ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Remake My Day

​When it comes to movie remakes, I always think of Die Hard. Specifically, this Alan Rickman line: Sooner or later, I might get to someone you do care about! Granted, he was trying to force McClane to tell him where his detonators were, but the same sentiment applies to "reimagining" our fav ... More >>

Hidden Things

Mercer is an upscale neighborhood nightclub, if you can find it.

Die Hard

The 1988 action smash is so stupid it’s brilliant