Donald Trump

Zombies and Fiscal Cliffs

The 10 most overhyped stories of 2012.

Superstorms, Mayans, Zombies and BDSM: The 10 Most Over-Hyped Stories of 2012

Journalists are really fond of writing about stories that went underreported every year. Too often, however, they forget to remind us all that those critical stories that went without needed coverage did so because stories with little merit wound up filling the airwaves and pages of newspapers. Unf ... More >>

Fetal Disgorge Endorses Albino Race Hunting

It's a well-known fact that most band names are essentially gobbledygook, but here at Rocks Off we're trying hard to find meaning in the oddest monikers. Soooooo... a while back I delved into the meaning of a metal band called Dying Fetus, an encounter from which I barely escaped alive. Since I ha ... More >>

Top 10 Musical Moments on The Arsenio Hall Show

One of the greatest late-night talk show hosts of all time was Arsenio Hall. He was the quintessential Ed Sullivan for the '80s and early '90s. He featured all kinds of musical artists, but most importantly, he helped introduce rap music into the mainstream. Hall, who won Donald Trump's most recent ... More >>

Bret Michaels

Re:Generation: New Film Makes Airtight Case That DJs Are Musicians

Directed by Amir Bar Lev and produced in association with the Grammys, Re:Generation is a documentary that explores the process behind making music as a DJ and producer through an experiment that sends five DJs on a quest to work in a specific genre outside their normal output. It sounds like somet ... More >>

Five Other Reality Shows We Wish Clay Aiken Would Guest On

ClayMates, start your engines! Your hero and American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken just joined the cast of the next cycle of Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice set to premiere on February 12 on NBC. This cycle, filmed a few months back, is sure to have some proverbial fireworks, with the opinionated ... More >>

Donald Trump for President: Texas's Voice Shall Be Heard

Trump 2012: He's aerodynamic!​The biggest political news of the moment isn't the Iowa caucuses, because all of us Real Amurricans already know Rick Perry is about to shock all those naysaying know-it-all Beltway elites. The big news came over the holiday weekend: An independent party supporti ... More >>

The X Factor Does Dallas (And Miami)

Fox​Audition round two of The X Factor is held in Miami and Dallas, and they tell a different story than Los Angeles. In my first recap, I was impressed with the consistently great talent The X Factor delivered, keeping the freak-show acts to a minimum. When the judges hit Miami, the dearth of ... More >>

Searching for a Slice: Bombay Pizza Co.

Photos by Christina UticoneThis looks suspiciously like a regular pepperoni pie. (Because it is.)​I've been hesitant to try the Bombay Pizza Co. (914 Main St.) in spite of some of the amazing reviews it's gotten. I love pizza, and I love the flavors of Indian food, but as I've written in the p ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Trump's Out -- Bridging the 2012 Asshole Gap

Now we'll never know what his currency would have looked like.​With apologies to Richard Adams: My heart has joined the Thousand. Donald Trump stopped running today: "After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the presidency," Trump announced in ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Bye Bye, Chicago Code -- Fox's Greatest Crimes Against TV

Fox you, "Code" fans.​The fall network TV schedules aren't set to be released until next week, but the bad news has already leaked for fans of Fox's The Chicago Code, which was not renewed for a second season in spite of a mostly positive critical reception: Answering questions from disappoin ... More >>

Get Your Tinfoil Hat, Consortium of Genius Is Coming

Artwork courtesy of consortiumofgenius.com​Rocks Off loves extreme personalities. Whether it's the serene, spiritual symphony that is Tyagaraja, or the pre-frontal lobe melting experience that is Tubby Chubcakes we just can't get enough of people who go screaming over the edge of normalcy like ... More >>

Leo Berman Not Buying Obama's "Birth Certificate" Stunt; Has Greatest Question Ever

Leo Berman: Not convinced​THANK GOD state rep Leo Berman is still bringing the crazy when it comes to President Obama's place of birth. Obama, tiring of all the attention still being devoted to this issue (CNN has been pounding it lately), Obama asked for, received and released this morning t ... More >>

Gothic Council Hands Out Some Goth Blocks

​Stevie Ryan has finally shown Gothtopia the way. We had no idea we could use our darksome image to impose our will on the populace at large. Our proof? Her music video for "Goth Blocked." It's nice to know that the goth community has this kind of power, but like any new tyrannical regime, we ... More >>

Donald Trump, Bible-Hoarder: The "Very Nice" Places He Keeps Them

People just keep giving him Bibles​I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but does anyone else think that Donald Trump's "presidential campaign" is nothing more than a clever ruse to publicize his television show, NBC's Celebrity Apprentice? I know, I sound like a crazed nut right now wit ... More >>

Recasting MTV's Daria With Real-Life Musicians

​There was once a brighter time in the history of MTV when the network occasionally played interesting animated series and occasionally even music videos. Now, instead of Daria, there's Snooki; instead of Beavis and Butt-Head, there's The Situation and Pauly D. Growing up, Daria (1997-2002) w ... More >>

Top Five Christmas Movies From Alternate Realities

Photo illustrations by John Seaborn GrayChristmas in an alternate dimension has the potential to be significantly more badass.​If, as so many quantum physicists and dubious science-fiction shows suggest, there are infinite alternate dimensions, then of course that means there are infinite poss ... More >>

Five Celebrity Costumes To Avoid At All Costs

This one is, uhhh... not on the list.​Halloween: The one night grown men and women have a legitimate excuse to look like clowns. Call us crazy, but we stopped dressing up for Halloween at 13. We still love you and your ridiculous costume. We really do. That's why we've taken the time to offer ... More >>

FAIL: Gene Simmons, Steve Albini, INXS, Danzig (Not)

Photo illustrations by John Seaborn Gray​Gene Simmons Is Donald Trump In Makeup: Fails has never been a big KISS fan, but we can't imagine watching Gene Simmons' behavior makes being one any easier. If you're a die-hard KISS fan, watching his douchey whoring and cutthroat CEO tactics must be d ... More >>

Florida Pastor Cancels Koran Bonfire; 4 Things He Should Consider Burning Instead

"Trust me, I have a mustache."​We've established that Rev. Terry Jones -- you know, the Florida pastor who told Anderson Cooper that he knew the definition of bigot, but doesn't see himself as one, even though he is intolerant of other religions, especially Islam -- well, he isn't liked by a ... More >>

Getting Old Isn't for Sissies

Sure, she's a piece of work. But there's got to be more to Joan Rivers.

Ultimate Victory

Fences with Paul Wall mended, upcoming tour planned, Chamillionaire is comfortable being the rapper next door.

A Decade of Landry's

Photo by B. Tse​Whether you love them or hate them, you can't escape them -- not even if you leave Houston. Over the past ten years, Landry's has become a household name. Besides owning such well-known restaurants as Saltgrass Steak House, Aquarium, and Vic and Anthony's, Landry's has dabbled ... More >>

Remembering The Houston Gamblers, Thanks To ESPN

​To celebrate its 30th anniversary, ESPN is in the midst of airing what it calls 30 on 30, which is a series of 30 one-hour documentaries on sports-related matters that have occurred within the network's 30 years on the air. And one of the documentaries, one that aired on Tuesday is on a subject n ... More >>

Idol Beat, Part 2: Still More Hollywood Week

Michael Becker/ Fox AI judges Simon Cowell and Kara DioguardiDAY 5 This new Idol concept - a lushly appointed "judges' mansion" where contestants on thin ice are forced to sing for their survival - was squandered, somewhat, by the producers. I mean, this was a two-hour show, and really, ther ... More >>

Top Five Failed Houston Sports Franchises

Billion Dollar Babies

Rappers and their ten-figure dreams

Lousy Movie: 'Meet the Spartans'

Few laughs to be had in this lackluster parody

John Mulaney

Comedian muses on Law & Order, Billy Joel and Donald Trump

Chamillionaire, Ultimate Victory

CD Review

Tony Bennett

Bet You Didn't Even Realize He Was Gone

Bad Hair Day

Beer and Porn

Once again, the TABC tries to ruin bachelor life

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Wack's Very Special Holiday Music Guide

Brick by Bricks

It's real estate versus real love in Shunya Theatre's new play

Sparkling Waters

Houston's heating up, but there are plenty of ways to cool down

This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

Major Players

A new book proves that The Games Do Count

Trump Card

Apprentice alum Amy Henry is all about the benjamins

This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

Perfect Fit

Metro's new president already has a Houston attitude

We Want the Funk

Cecil's Tavern rises from the ashes with a new look

Money and Masa

A few words with underground rapper/tamale kingpin Chingo Bling

This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

Best Manicure/Pedicure

Instyle Nails

Stux in the South

The eclectic New York space lends a strange sampling to New Gallery

Allen's Landing

Woody's clever Celebrity charts the descending pain of fame

Press Picks