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Ray Wylie Hubbard

Googling Santorum: The Chron's TexasSparkle Makes a Horrifying Discovery

TexasSparkle is the highlight of the Houston Chronicle's "Anyone Can Blog" page. Kathleen McKinley is her real name, and she's a person who thinks Sarah Palin is a serious individual, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh make sense, etc., etc. Her bio says she is a "co-host [of] SmartGirlNation on FTRadio ... More >>

Five Spot: New Music From Jack Freeman, The Monster, Scooyunda, Brook Gang and More

Soccer season is over!!!​Boy A and Boy B play their last soccer game of the season this Saturday. It's a little sad, really. They're just now to where they're excited to play. They were uncomfortable at first because, for real, 4-5-year-old soccer is, like, light years ahead of 3-year-old so ... More >>

Am I Supporting the Mexican Drug Cartels if I Smoke Pot?

And why don't more Mexis appear on television news talks shows?

Osama Bin Laden Mission: Rick Perry & Greg Abbott Weigh in Without Mentioning Obama

Neither went so far as the New York Daily News.​The world has presumably been waiting breathlessly for the chance to know exactly what Governor Rick Perry and Attorney General Greg Abbott think about the death of Osama Bin Laden. The wait is over. Both politicos issued statements this morning ... More >>

Donald Trump, Bible-Hoarder: The "Very Nice" Places He Keeps Them

People just keep giving him Bibles​I hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but does anyone else think that Donald Trump's "presidential campaign" is nothing more than a clever ruse to publicize his television show, NBC's Celebrity Apprentice? I know, I sound like a crazed nut right now wit ... More >>

Five Best Glenn Beck Freakouts: We'll Miss You, Dude

​As he hinted at his Houston appearance, Glenn Beck, the face of Fox News to so many Americans who recoil in horror at Fox News, will be ending his TV show. He'll still do occasional specials, and tour, but your daily dose of Beckensian madness will no longer be on TV. We'll miss the freakou ... More >>

One Night with Glenn Beck: A Twitter Diary

Photo by Craig HlavatyThey lined up to hear Glenn Beck.​Glenn Beck was in Houston on Friday for a stop on his current speaking tour, dubbed the "Glenn Beck Live On Stage!" tour; it was everything I hoped it would be, with a few twists and turns. As an observer of most things Tea Party and cons ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Hand Doctor Michael Brown and Tax Cuts

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Commenters, We Have A New System For You

We mean you, of course​It's been a lot of fun dealing with the Hair Balls' Captcha comment system, the one that makes you try to decipher random scribblings before allowing you to share your wisdom with the world. (Hey, it works in this video.) Those halcyon days are over. But days that are w ... More >>

Commenters, We Have a New System For You

We mean you, of course​It's been a lot of fun dealing with the Eating Our Words' Captcha comment system, the one that makes you try to decipher random scribblings before allowing you to share your wisdom with the world. (Hey, it works in this video.) Those halcyon days are over. But days that ... More >>

America, Back on Track

The little guy saves small-town USA (and its corporate ­overlords) in Unstoppable.

The 10 Most Annoying People You Meet At The Gym

Perhaps she didn't grunt loudly enough​Holidays coming up, gotta keep off the pounds, yadda, yadda, yadda. If you're headed to the gym, be prepared to deal with these very highly annoying people. 10. The Grunter He's lifting weights. Big, heavy, manly weights. In case you aren't studying him ... More >>

King Street Patriots Party Hardy At The Rice Lofts

Finding a watch party in Houston for election night was a bit of a chore. About the only thing in town was Bill White's, and since Hair Balls already had that covered, we had to look elsewhere. Even the New Black Panthers can't stop us​We decided on the King Street Patriots' bash at the Rice Lofts ... More >>

Why Aren't There Any Good Conservative Comedians?

​It's a valid question, even in light of the specter of Satanism rearing its seven heads over Delaware last week. Actually, maybe that's the quick and dirty answer to my question: the reality of the Tea Party is funnier than any airplane food joke Christine O'Donnell could tell at the Improv. ... More >>

The Fireman's Wife

Nikki Araguz, formerly Justin Purdue, clashes with family over her late husband's legacy.

Debbie Riddle: For Your Own Sake, Avoid CNN

State Rep Debbie Riddle doesn't need career advice from us. But if she were to ask, we'd tell her stay the hell off CNN. Stick to Fox News.Riddle went on Anderson Cooper's show last night and -- well, she showed the nation the Debbie Riddle we have come to know and be horrified by here in Houston.

Mel Gibson's Rant: Five Celebrity Rants He's Competing With

Mel Gibson, looking up at Sugar Tits​Mel Gibson's lunatic rant has made it online, which means we can stack it up against other lunatic rants.1. Alec Baldwin. Things you don't want to be caught shouting at your pre-teen daughter: "You're a rude, thoughtless little pig" and "I don't give a damn tha ... More >>

Believe It Or Not, There Are Bigger Crybabies Than Cristiano Ronaldo

​We've reached the quarterfinal stage of the World Cup, and some big names have already been unceremoniously booted after early round losses. Not many people were surprised at France's exit, and The USA and England were lucky to make the Round of 16 in the first place. But Italy, the reigning ... More >>

Stephen Colbert Visits NASA Looking For A Job

Another dude coming to Houston for a job​Stephen Colbert, in an effort to get a second job should this whole Colbert Report thing falls through, visited NASA a while back to try out as an astronaut.The results have been airing this week.Things we learn: NASA employees don't generally seem to be in ... More >>

Korn Was Not A F**king Emo Show At Sold-Out Verizon

Photos by Matthew Keever​ Seventeen years after its inception, Korn still managed to sell out the Verizon Wireless Theater on Sunday night for the 2010 Jagermeister Music Tour. Most bands could only dream of continuing to sell-out venues for two decades, but a look at Korn's fan base, which ranges ... More >>

The Week In TV: Lost Takes A Break, South Park Takes A Dive

​The sun chased the rain, I can feel summer coming, and I was greeted at the door by a rabbi that looks like Joaquin Phoenix. This was the week in TV Land: • So, this is dumb: South Park has been forced by Viacom to bend to the will of Muslim extremists. The show's 200th episode was a two- ... More >>

The Week In TV: So Long, Julia Sugarbaker

Even with my dependable shows in reruns, it feels good to be back in the stern embrace of David Simon. This was the week in TV Land: • Thank God for Hulu, you know? The video site is the only reason I actually keep up with Saturday Night Live most weeks. The show's had a real hard-on for tweens ... More >>

Chingo Bling's They Can't Deport Us All Makes Good Census; Still Missing Selena

​ Our weekend was full of political conversations with folks who we never have political conversations with; let us tell you, we couldn't have been more pleasantly surprised. We decided we were going to try and convince everyone we knew back home to fill out the census. Three different conversatio ... More >>

See Dick Run

Invasions of privacy are "The New Normal."

Four Courses at Sophia

​ There's something to be said for having a BYOB restaurant nearby, walking home on a cold night with a Chardonnay as a jacket. But the charms of Sophia, at 1601 W. Main St., tucked behind Richmond in a nondescript building off Mandell, go beyond its geography. Now in his second year solo, c ... More >>

The Week In TV: Art of the Dushku

We'll always have Bring It On...​I'm waiting for winter, I'm tired of Joseph Fiennes, and I can't stop raving about Wade Boggs' Carpet World. This was the week in TV Land: • I've been a little remiss in advising you to watch Parks and Recreation, which is my bad, as I heard a kid say the o ... More >>

The Week In TV: Trauma Dies On the Operating Table

It's a beautiful weekend, the rain has stopped, and my Batman voice sounds like Cookie Monster. This was the week in TV Land: • I take nothing but pleasure in the misfortune of the untalented, which is why it's my pleasure to pass along the news that ratings for Comedy Central's The Jeff Dunham S ... More >>

And So It Begins: Do You Know Where Your Children Are? (Updated With Speech Analysis)

It's too late, parents....Unless you filled out the proper paperwork offering definitive proof you're a right-wing radical blinded by Fox News, your kid is being subjected to the amazing hypnotic power of Barack Obama at this moment.You can watch here, if you dare.Will you recognize your kids when t ... More >>

Greater Houston Partnership: Geraldo Rivera

Go behind the public face of the award-winning journalist and muckraker

$7 at Bell Street Cafe

Photo by Craig HlavatyChicken Veronique at Bell Street CafeWhere: Bell Street Cafe, 800 Bell Street (under the Exxon Building) What $7 gets you: Surprisingly fresh and cheap food. Dining under the Exxon building, right next to the Houston Press building, means that you will be eating with a millio ... More >>

Tea Party Hangover In Texas

Photo by sirtrentalotYesterday we noted how KTRH had factually reported that the tea-party protests planned for that day "might be the single largest mass gathering in the country's history."We noted it wasn't "a mass gathering," merely a series of them, and therefore a typical college-footbal ... More >>

On The Scene At The Houston Tea Party

In the end, it exceeded the expectations of even its once-seemingly wildly overenthusiastic organizers. Approximately 3,500 pissed-off demonstrators packed Jones Plaza for a warm-up blues-rock concert and harangues about high taxes, debt, bail-outs, and socialism.     You'd have t ... More >>

Houston!! Are You Ready For A Tea Par-Tay?!?!?!

Tomorrow is the big day: The Houston area will be the site of a dozen or so tea parties.They're going on all over the country. It's possible that the Fox News network might provide some coverage.The parties are to protest all that spending that's going on in Washington; you are no doubt familiar ... More >>

Turning the Screw: G.R.I.T Boys, Coolio, Nas, Eminem, Tupac, Lil' Kim, Chris Brown, R. Kelly, Snoop Dogg, Scarface and More

Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off's weekly rap post. It probably won't rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Thanks, homies. Single of the Week "I'm Fresh," G.R.I.T. Boys ft. Trae and Tum Tum Wire to Wire Brooklyn's Uncle Murda was convicted o ... More >>

Buffalo Chicken Pizza at Russo's

I immediately regret this decision.Houston's second Russo's New York Coal-Fired Pizza (their name is as much a mouthful as their enormous slices), located next to a Charming Charlie's on I-10 at Echo Lane, has only been open for 15 days.  Despite this (and perhaps because of the ... More >>

KTRH Continues On Its Fox-ification

KTRH, the only major AM news operation in town (and it ain't as major as it used to be) continues its ever-quickening descent into Fox News hell.This morning a major item was about....how the media have been trashing George Bush and hurting his legacy. We heard old quotes from his mother and father ... More >>

Fox Calls It For Obama. People Desperately Look Up How To Spell "Shadenfreude"

KTRH, the only major AM news operation in town (and it ain't as major as it used to be) continues its ever-quickening descent into Fox News hell.This morning a major item was about....how the media have been trashing George Bush and hurting his legacy. We heard old quotes from his mother and father ... More >>

Rappers and Republicans: Still the Same?

KTRH, the only major AM news operation in town (and it ain't as major as it used to be) continues its ever-quickening descent into Fox News hell.This morning a major item was about....how the media have been trashing George Bush and hurting his legacy. We heard old quotes from his mother and father ... More >>

What Do Shepard Smith and Soulja Boy have in common?

Wack's here to tell you: more than you might expect

Auto Erotica: Burnout Paradise

Car lovers find a new flame

A Day in the Life of Cable Sports Programming

Car lovers find a new flame

Junior High Kid Goes Big-Time, Zero Tolerance

She's glad her 15 minutes are up

Leg Spreader

Front Porch Pub

Juvenile

Reality Check

Party Animals

Politically oriented matchmaking sites are surging toward the election

Mucho Mayo

Cinco de Mayo festivities abound around town

Best Radio Commentary

Dean Becker, "420 Drug War News"

Hell on Earth

Both sides in a Houston fight worship the same god: publicity

Amplified

Local Music News