Subject: Federal Bureau of Investigation

• DeLorean, SchmeLorean. Where's My Hoverboard?

  August 2, 2007

• This Just In: FBI Opens Investigation of Clemens

  February 28, 2008

• Plague Of The Nicknamed Bandits

  August 14, 2008

• The Bank Robbery Record Has Been Broken!

  Last year was a banner year for bank robberies in Houston, more than doubling the number from the year before.But last year's record has already tumbled, and we've still got a month to go.Doing their best to help in that effort are the robbers who keep hitting the IBC branch bank at 3939 Montrose, near the University of St. Thomas.They've been hit three times since September 1, FBI special agent Pat Villafranca tells Hair Balls.

  December 1, 2008

• West U? They're Robbing Banks In West U?

  Famous bank robber Willie Sutton -- who lived in a time when bank robbers became famous -- was once asked why he robbed banks."Because that's where the money is," he replied.So probably we shouldn't be surprised that Houston's rash of bank robberies (it's been a record-setting year) has come to include the leafy, bucolic confines of West University Place.

  December 11, 2008

• The First Two Local Bank Robberies of the New Year in Houston

  Members of the Federal Bureau of Investigation Houston Bank Robbery Task Force were probably still nursing their hangovers when they were called to not one but two bank robberies on the first business day of the new year.

  January 5, 2009

• The Cloud Over Lightning Strike

  October 27, 1994

• The Tango Blast Houstone Gang Takes A Hit

  Local and federal agents in an anti-gang task force charged with waging the much-debated "War on Drugs" have nabbed another round of bad guys, this time more than a dozen members of Texas' largest prison gang, Tango Blast Houstone. Acting Houston U.S. Attorney Tim Johnson announced today that 14 members of the highly-decentralized yet populous Houstone gang have been indicted on five counts related to the possession and distribution of marijuana and cocaine. The indictments are the result of the

  January 21, 2009

• He's Not Only Silver-Haired, He's Reckless

  The "Reckless Robber" has struck again.Although if he's so "reckless," as the FBI has dubbed him, why's he so successful?Maybe it's the silver hair. ("This unique fellow spray paints his hair silver prior to his robberies, perhaps thinking it makes him harder to recognize!" says FBI spokeswoman Patricia Villafranca.)A Wachovia branch at 235 West 20th was hit this week by the guy, who apparently got his name because he has waved a gun around "carelessly" on previous robberies (The FBI has such hi

  January 23, 2009

• Reverse Sting

  February 15, 1996

• The Insider

  March 7, 1996

• Roots of the Sting

  May 23, 1996

• The Boy Scouts

  May 23, 1996

• The Insider

  July 4, 1996

• The Insider

  July 11, 1996

• Troubleshooter for the Millennium

  July 18, 1996

• The Insider

  July 18, 1996

• The Insider

  July 25, 1996

• The Insider

  August 29, 1996

• The Reckless Robber Goes For The Bald Look

  Now the Reckless Robber is just toying with us.He pulled off his sixth bank robbery Wednesday, but -- much more importantly -- he abandoned the silver-hair trademark that had sent the FBI's PR department into paroxysms of outrage.The dude is now bald. In the latest security-camera video, he looks like David Cross on Arrested Development.How reckless can you get?The FBI's e-mail to the media promised "gripping details" of the latest incident in its official release, and it -- maybe, sorta, not re

  February 5, 2009

• She's About a Mover

  February 12, 1998

• The Insider

  February 12, 1998

• Take the Cash and Talk That Trash

  March 19, 1998

• Mash and Trash

  April 9, 1998

• The Hotel Six Joker Turns Wild

  April 9, 1998

• Mysteries of Hotel Six

  April 16, 1998

• Blowing Smoke at Hotel Six

  May 21, 1998

• The Insider

  August 20, 1998

• Read My Lips. My Freakishly Colored Lips.

  The FBI always comes up with cool names for bank robbers, and the G-Men (and G-Women) didn't let Hair Balls down today: following a robbery at the midtown Wachovia Bank this mornings, authorities nabbed a suspect with freakishly colored lips. And now the FBI thinks he might be "Read My Lips" - a unique fellow who robbed two other Midtown banks this week. "This suspect has a condition causing his lips to have unusual coloration, and investigation is ongoing to determine if he is 'Read My Lips,'"

  March 6, 2009

• Scammed By Stanford? The FBI Wants To Hear From You

  Were you screwed by Houston's Stanford Financial Group? The FBI would like to talk to you.Today they've started a major outreach to investors of the Houston company, asking them to contact the agency by phone or e-mail to detail their investment and experience with this year's Enron."In an effort to determine the scope of this matter and the amount of losses that may be involved," the announcement says, "the Houston FBI is requesting that investors provide: Basic contact information (name, addre

  March 9, 2009

• Betti's Last Stand

  November 26, 1998

• Checkout Time at Hotel Six

  May 13, 1999

• Cop Moonlights At Bank, Robs It, Gets Recognized

  Photo courtesy Conroe PDYou know the expression, "Don't shit where you eat?" Well, you could probably add "Don't rob your own employer or you'll be recognized and arrested" to the list.Earlier today, the FBI and Conroe Police Department announced that 20-plus year Conroe PD veteran Sgt. Michael Tindall has been charged in federal court with bank robbery for allegedly stealing $28,672 from the bank where he worked as a security guard in his off time.Tindall "has been a friend and part of the Conr

  March 24, 2009

• One Day, Four Bank Robberies

  Photo courtesy FBIBad day to be working in, or visiting, a bank.Four Houston banks were robbed today, the FBI says.One woman hit up two in the same strip center, which is certainly a time-saving strategy that should be applauded, if it wasn't for the whole robbing-a-bank part. Or the fact that the 60-year-old got arrested shortly after her escapade."Witnesses at both robberies gave police a licens- plate number and patrol officers quickly tracked the vehicle and subject down a short distance awa

  April 13, 2009

• Axman at the Houston Chronicle and Bank-Robbing Cops

  Highlights from the Blog at HOUSTONPRESS.COM

  April 2, 2009

• Files Not Found

  Thousands of missing FBI documents in the Timothy McVeigh case? It comes as no surprise to the survivors of Operation Lightning Strike.

  July 19, 2001

• Logic Goes Out with the Intrigue in Ho-Hum "Thriller" Traitor

  Spy Vs. Why

  August 28, 2008

• Spy Vs. Spy

  Billy Ray takes on another liar: FBI traitor Robert Hanssen

  February 15, 2007

• Best Comeback

  Downtown Convention Center Hotel

  September 25, 2003

• Reality Bytes

  The White House-cracking cybergang is gone. Now Houston’s most notorious hacker hopes to reboot his life and return to his love: computers.

  May 8, 2003

• Bill Minutaglio

  Friday, January 10

  January 9, 2003

• Best Place to Take Out-of-Towners

  Art Car Museum

  September 26, 2002

• Going Through These Things Twice

  tuck inside of Hotel Six with the Houston blues again

  June 4, 1998

• The Insider

  August 8, 1996

• The FBI Makes Things Go "Boom," And We Have The Video

  (Note: The explosions get bigger the longer you stick with the video.) For the better part of this week, FBI bomb experts have been teaching area cops the Xs and Os of improvised explosives, like the ones made by shoe-bomber Richard Reid or the one that killed college student Matthew Rugo in his Texas City apartment three years ago. But on Thursday afternoon, it was show time.Raw chickens and tires were blowing up all over the place at the Harris County Sheriff's Office training facility in Humb

  May 1, 2009

• Proud Of Your Tattoos -- Even During A Bank Robbery

  Here's today's tip for Houston bank robbers: If the FBI's press release about you is able to note a detail like "he even had a skull tattooed on the back of his head," you're probably not taking that extra step to disguise your identity.Now, if you hang out in a colony of a couple thousand people who have visible skulls tattoed onto the back of their head, you're probably OK.But would it kill you to put on a hat? Maybe one of those Manny Ramirez hats the LA Dodgers (used to) sell with fake shoul

  May 11, 2009

• Texas Tries, But Can't Lead The Nation In Bank Robberies

  As faithful Hair Balls readers know, Houston loves it some bank robbin'. The FBI office here eagerly hands out nicknames to robbers (Best one yet: the fiend called "Read My Lips" because he has some ailment that discolors his lips).We've had polite robbers, reckless robbers, guys dressed as construction workers, robbers whose sense of fashion the FBI found wanting and worthy of criticism.What we haven't had, though, is enough bank robberies to lead the nation. This is very disappointing for the

  July 6, 2009

• World's Worst Get-Away Vehicle Succeeds, At Least For Now

  If you're going to rob a bank and hope to get away with it, a couple of basic tips would seem to be a) Drive a vehicle that looks like every other vehicle on the road, and b) Don't do everything but pose for your security-camera shot.Tossing caution to the wind, two robbers were captured in video while robbing the Regions Bank in Spring this afternoon.Their vehicle:Photos courtesy FBI​ A bold blue van, with a custom roof on top and, as the FBI put it, "a household air conditioning unit [that

  August 12, 2009

• The World's Most Unfortunately Dressed Bank Robber

  The FBI has put out the alert for a new bank robber, one who knocked off a Memorial Drive Wachovia and a west-side Bank of America last week.This is not just any bank robber, though. This dude has style. A very outdated, ridiculous style.Photo courtesy FBI​The FBI is calling him the "Sweatin' to the Oldies" Robber, but their release on him seems to be missing key bits of information. In the interest of public service, we include some further items, none of which have been actually "checked" i

  September 3, 2009

• DNA Helps Crack Gruesome Dickinson Cold Case

  Illustration courtesy FBI​For more than 19 years, Dennis Earl Bradford has lived with the knowledge that he raped an eight-year-old girl, slit her throat, left her for dead in a field -- and got away with it.Until today, when a combination of law-enforcement agencies announced they had cracked the very cold case and charged Bradford with attempted capital murder.Bradford took young Jennifer Schuett from her Dickinson home against her will in August 1990, the FBI announced, and then raped and k

  October 13, 2009