Florida Marlins

The Albert Pujols Schadenfreude Post

To understand the magnitude of Albert Pujols's six-week slump to start the 2012 season (and I'm not going to lie, calling it a "slump" feels like a VERY lazy understatement), you have to remember the starting point from whence he came when he signed with the Los Angeles Angels this off-season. That ... More >>

In Which John Royal Predicts the Winner of the 2012 World Series

The major league baseball season officially started last week when the Oakland A's and Seattle Mariners played two games in Tokyo. Most of the other teams open on Thursday, and the Astros get started on Friday when they host the Colorado Rockies. Thus, here are my predictions for this season. NATI ... More >>

Astros Fire Ed Wade & Tal Smith: The New Era Begins

Where have you gone, Ed Wade? A nation's no-hit, aging, injury-prone free agent infielders turn their lonely eyes to you. Where have you gone, Ed Wade? A nation's worth of middle relievers looking for multimillion contracts turn their lonely eyes to you. Ed Wade is gone. So is Tal Smith. Jim C ... More >>

Since When Is It Okay For Minute Maid Park To Be Fenway Park South?

Back in the day, even celebrities like Janine Turner couldn't be shown at Astros games if they were pulling for the opposing team​I started working with the Astrodome DiamondVision crew on opening day of the 1988 season. And I worked on that video crew, either at the Dome or at Enron Field, t ... More >>

Just Stop with the Astros to AL Talk Already

Just say no to douchebag Red Sox fans.​My twitter feed over the weekend was full up of tweets from people talking about how electric Minute Maid Park was, and about how packed it was with people just dying to see the Boston Red Sox play the Astros. And most of these people were using their tw ... More >>

Astros To The American League? That's The Latest Rumor

Wait, what, the Astros to the AL?​If you were at one of the Astros games this weekend against the Braves -- and judging by the attendance figures, many of you weren't -- then you were probably annoyed by the idiot Braves fans doing that stupid tomahawk chop thing they do. But things could be ... More >>

So You Want to Own a Baseball Team? Baseball Financing 101

​There are a lot of stories coming out about how the Astros are going to face a long climb to respectability. About how all of the team's problems can't be solved by spending money. About how we're just going to have to be patient while Jim Crane's baseball people rebuild the mess left behin ... More >>

One Man's Predictions for This Baseball Season

​Believe it or not, it's time, yet again, for the Major League Baseball season to get underway. That's good news for those of us who enjoy watching the best players in baseball play the best sport ever created. That's bad news, however, for us Astros fans because, well, the Astros suck. But ... More >>

Miguel Cabrera's DUI Handbook

Miguel Cabrera lights up a mugshot like Tom DeLay​One of the businesses I speak for on my radio show is longtime Texas DWI defense attorney Gary Trichter. Among the talking points that I continually hammer home for listeners is the fact that Gary Trichter co-authored the textbook for DWI defen ... More >>

Game Time: The Caballo Chronicles, Volume 2: A Look at MLB's 20 Biggest Contracts Ever

​This is my second go round living in Houston. Prior to moving back here in the summer of 2007, the last time I was an H-town resident was between 1994 and 2001. As an Astro fan, that means I was here when the Bagwell/Biggio nucleus finally broke through in 1997 and made the playoffs, I was he ... More >>

The Astros Will Not Be 0-162. 1-161, We're Not So Sure

​The good news? The Houston Astros won a baseball game yesterday, defeating the St. Louis Cardinals 5-1 to win get their first victory of the year (they lost 5-2 to St. Louis on Monday, and the Cards won 2-1 on Wednesday night). So those of you who picked the Astros to go 0-162 for the season j ... More >>

Game Time: Watch Me Compare Astros GM Ed Wade To Jennifer Love Hewitt

​The mood in the Astros clubhouse yesterday after the 2-1 loss to the Phillies was about what you'd expect. Michael Bourn tried to stay upbeat, citing that the team is fighting hard and they know they have good players. (Fortunately, unlike many around Minute Maid Park, Bourn sounded like he act ... More >>

One Man's 2010 Baseball Predictions (Cover Your Eyes, Astro Fans)

​The major league baseball season officially starts this weekend with two so-called major league teams playing on Sunday night (New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox). I was going to try and do a little Astros preview for today, but they're still trying to figure out who exactly is healthy and who ... More >>

Cecil Cooper, Standup Comic

Thanks to Jose de Jesus Ortiz of the Chron, I'm able to bring you the comedy stylings of Houston Astros manager Cecil Cooper. Only problem is, according to Ortiz, Cecil Cooper wasn't joking. "We should win 90 games this year," Cooper told the press yesterday. The Astros are going to "go under ... More >>

Cecil Cooper, Standup Comic

Thanks to Jose de Jesus Ortiz of the Chron, I'm able to bring you the comedy stylings of Houston Astros manager Cecil Cooper. Only problem is, according to Ortiz, Cecil Cooper wasn't joking. "We should win 90 games this year," Cooper told the press yesterday. The Astros are going to "go under ... More >>

Astros-Reds: The Magic Number Goes Down to One

Astros-Marlins: That’s Five in a Row

Astros-Cubs: A Tired Houston Team Only Gets One Hit

Houston Sports, Hurricane Ike Update

Astros-Pirates: Houston Keeps Surging

Wandy's Mediocrity Revealed in 9-5 Loss to Reds

Astros-Nationals: Back from Vacation and Ready for the All-Star Break

Astros-Giants: Big Puma Still on the Prowl

Astros-Cubs: One Win (and Two Losses) for the ‘Stros, But Still None for a Starting Pitcher

Astros-Padres: Michael Bourn Is Looking Good. Everyone Else, Not So Much.

Steroids, Roger Clemens and Congress: Bust Out the Razor

Jose de Jesus Ortiz Is a Turkey

A-Rod Would Be Good for the Astros. Not as Good as Starting Over, But Good.

John Royal's MLB Playoff Predictions: Satan Is Our First Base Coach, Go D-Backs!

We Would Call This an MLB Playoff Preview, But We Really Don't Know What's Gonna Happen

California Might Know How to Party, But Morgan Ensberg Ain't Gonna Find Good Mexican Food There

Miss Cleo Answers the Bell

How Dare You?

The White House gets offended by a Chron question