Fort Bend County

I-69 Signs Along I-59: No, It's Not a Clever Joke. Stop Giggling.

Whenever I think of U.S. 59, I think of constant gridlock from Shepherd through the 288/I-45 interchange, the flat, treeless drive to Ft. Bend County and the piney woods of east Texas, in all its glory. It is a unique stretch of road that runs from Mexico well into Missouri. Oh, sure, it changes num ... More >>

The Five Best Houston Neighborhoods for Viewing Christmas Lights

I'll admit I'm a sucker for a good Christmas lights display. When my parents were not terribly interesting in stringing lights from the house, I made plans. I used graph paper to map out the entire house and figure out what lights would go where. This was a big deal in my world as a kid. Even today, ... More >>

Francisco Sanchez, 53, Bayou Body Count No. 182

Police have a suspect in the case of a man who was punched to death in Fort Bend County and later died in a Houston hospital. Francisco Sanchez, 53, was punched by two men in his driveway about 8:30 p.m.September 27 in the 5300 block of Castlecreek Lane, witnesses told police. HPD says one of thos ... More >>

Breaking News: Funnel Cloud Warning for Fort Bend County

Click 2 Houston is passing on a weather report warning of possible funnel clouds this morning in Fort Bend County. The report says that rapidly developing thunderstorms coupled with "a very buoyant atmosphere" will lead to funnel clouds. Their report follows:

Za'Mor Turner: HFD Firefighter Seeks Help In Search For His Son

Firefighters have set up an account to provide a reward for anyone who can help reunite three-year-old Za'Mor Turner with his HFD dad Roderic Taylor. Za'Mor is adopted and is believed to be in the care of his birth mother, who has had her parental rights terminated. That woman, Tenika Alfred, face ... More >>

The Healthiest County in Texas Definitely Isn't Around Here

The University of Wisconsin Population Health Institute and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation have put together a list of health by county across the nation, looking at births, deaths and various measures of the quality of life. You can get a statewide ranking of the counties in your state, and if ... More >>

The Weather Outside Is Frightful (with Photos)

You wanted rain, you're getting it. You're also getting a reported tornado touchdown in Fort Bend County and flooded service roads and intersections. Power is out in some areas of the city; others have lost internet service. Reports coming in from TxDOT and various tweeters indicated impassable c ... More >>

Enjoy Our Playground!! Our Deadly, Alligator-Infested Playground

Photo by Gary BeaverAh, playground memories!​Driving around the more rural parts of Fort Bend County, we found this playground tucked inside a subdivision. When you count your blessings, you might be grateful this isn't your childhood playground.

Star Chef Faces Child-Sex Charge

Will plead insanity

Grant Haze: Guy Who Allegedly Dismembered Ex-Wife Talks of Being Inspired By Sting & Lionel Richie

Grant Haze wants to be an inspiration to his kids​Last week, Grant Haze was just another bland singer-songwriter with a tremendous ego and hoop earrings. Now he's charged with killing his ex-girlfriend, dismembering her corpse, stuffing the body parts in ice chests, and driving them from his N ... More >>

Former Tony's Chef Bruce McMillian Charged with Sexual Assault of a Minor

Bruce McMillian, in his mugshot from Fort Bend County.​Although owner Jeff Vallone cited "a tough economy" when Amici closed in late last year, it appears that something much more sinister could be behind the Sugar Land restaurant's closing. Former chef Bruce McMillian is planning an insanity ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Almost a Ton of Pot Seized? No Biggie

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

That's a Whole Lotta Weed, Son: 1,700 Pounds of Marijuana Seized in Ft. Bend County

"Mike" from the K-9 unit looking awfully smug...or stoned.​So, there you are, rolling down the highway in your tractor trailer filled with weed one minute, just minding your own business, and the next minute, you are busted by a drug sniffing dog. Mama said there'd be days like this. Apparent ... More >>

Rapper Tow Down, Others Arrested Yet Again for Growing Weed

Tow Down in a familiar spot​Houston rapper Tow Down, who's been arrested before for using several Fort Bend County homes as weed greenhouses, has been nailed again. The U.S. Attorney's office has announced that "Bryan Andrew Theriot aka Toe Down, 33," (no rap points for the USAO), his brother ... More >>

Tow Down: Busted Rapper/Grower's Lyrical Tipoffs

keepittrill.comTow Down (left) and Big Pokey​The Bubba Sparxxx of Fort Bend County, Tow Down, was arrested Wednesday for using three houses as weed nurseries, where he and several associates including his older brother cultivated more than 600 marijuana plants, the U.S. Attorney's office annou ... More >>

SBOE Member Lawrence Allen Doesn't Live in the District

Photo by Margaret DowningLawrence Allen (left)​Lawrence Allen Jr. might be convinced to the contrary, but the state agency that oversees redistricting confirms the seven-year member of the State Board of Education no longer lives within the boundaries of his own district. Allen is the voice o ... More >>

Robin Jeanette Jordan: Sole Arrest So Far in Raid on Fort Bend Cul-de-Sac Cathouse

Hookers in Pecan Grove. Who knew?​Apparently, pecans weren't the only nuts hanging in the Richmond, Texas suburb of Pecan Grove. Authorities based both there and here in Houston say that 37-year-old Robin Jeanette Jordan, a.k.a. "Lianna," has been involved in an Internet-based prostitution r ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Commuter Rail Makes Sense

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Comment Of the Day: Ye Olde Sexual Double Standard

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Seven Best Texas Sex Stories Of 2010

Feel free to mess with Texans, apparently​'Twas the night before Chritmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring...except for an ex-surgeon with a suitcase full of dildos.That's just one of the Christmas tales parents can tell their young'ns as the year winds down. We now present ... More >>

Pool Battles In First Colony: Keep Your Damn Waterpark Out Of Here!!

The First Colony Mall, gateway to a waterpark?​It's tense times out in First Colony, the Fort Bend County suburb.Residents are manning the barricades to prevent a plan by the community association to close five of First Colony's public swimming pools and build a $800,000 water park.An $800,000 wat ... More >>

In Ongoing Bat Invasion Of Texas, Terrifying New Theaters Of War Opened

​Two weeks ago today, in an nearly all-but-exclusive report, Hair Balls broke the story of the ongoing bat invasion of Texas schools and courthouses.At the time, the winged mammals had seized control of two schools in Clear Lake and one each in Chambers and Matagorda counties. They had also staked ... More >>

Dude, Where's My Air: More Fort Bend County Pot Follies

What is it with Fort Bend County stoners these days? Why do they continue to reenact scenes from Cheech and Chong movies? Last week we brought you the tale of the unlucky East Bernard motorist whose simple pot possession charge was upgraded to felony evidence-tampering after he ate the joint he was ... More >>

A Wonderful New Pollution-Free Coal Plant In Fort Bend!! Well, Maybe

​NRG Energy, a redundantly named company in New Jersey, has announced plans to build a wonderful new space-age "carbon-capture" system at their coal plant in Fort Bend County.Well, they've announced plans to ask the federal government to pay for half the project, anyway.The carbon-capture system r ... More >>

From Black Prison To New Branch of The Houston Museum of Natural Science

​The Houston Museum of Natural Science is opening a new branch in Fort Bend County; the 43,000-square-foot HMNS at Sugar Land will open in October in a "historic prison building," according to the museum's official announcement.The new facility sounds nice -- four permanent exhibits mirroring the ... More >>

If You Live In The Boonies Of Fort Bend County, Beware The Rabid Skunks

If you live in Needville or  "the unincorporated portion of Beasley," the Fort Bend County Health & Human Services Department is warning you to stay away from skunks.We've never quite lived in a place where people had to be warned to stay away from skunks, but then again we've never even be ... More >>

Hightower High Broadcast Academy Scores Another Grant

This past January, when the Houston Press awarded its first-ever MasterMinds Awards to three local groups showing cutting edge creativity and determination, one of the recipients of a $2,000 check from us was the Hightower High School's Broadcast Academy, headed up by Ted Irving, the media academy c ... More >>

After Six Months, Officials Throw In The Towel On That Fort Bend-Med Center Bus Service

Back in September, with great fanfare and more than its share of glitches, officials from Fort Bend County and the Medical Center announced a new bus service for the estimated 14,000 people who worked in one place and lived in the other.Today the dream died.Fort Bend County Commissioners Court accep ... More >>

Fort Bend Transit Has A Charmingly Naive Trust In Its Customers

Early Voting in Fort Bend County

Ft. Bend's Homeless Youth

Homeless in Suburbia

Michael Lyddon slept on this bench at night because he had nowhere else to go. According to elected officials in Fort Bend, though, he doesn't exist

We Hear Houston Is Lovely. Have You Tried There?

Soggy Socks, Anyone?

AFRICAN SOUNDS TAPES, CDS AND VIDEOS

Other record stores have bitten the dust, but not this one

So Much for Waterfront Views

Gator Aid

Thanks to the Endangered Species Act, alligators are everywhere in southeast Texas. So now the state is going to make it easier for you to shoot you one.

Baby, Please Don't Go

It's not too late to keep the Hammer

Branching Out

A new tree house exhibition will have you out on a limb

Up a Creek

Diverting streams into the Brazos and Posh Amenity lakes has been great for fancy Fort Bend developments. But it's killing Oyster Creek, the lifeblood for legendary Texas cattle ranchers.

Naked Shame

Years ago, courts ruled that routine strip searches in jails were unconstitutional. But for Fort Bend County women, if you got booked, they took a look.

Deep Six

Corps beliefs about wetlands stall TxDOT's paving plans

Not Your Grandma's Girl Scouts

Rachelle Anderson just took super Girl Scout honors. And it wasn't hustling cookies that got her there.

Alison Cook looks back at 1997: The Year That Bit

The Mall That Ate Katy

Big money, big lobbyists, big tax breaks. The Mills Corporation is bringing one of its "megamalls" to Katy, and it's hardly business as usual in the little town on the prairie.

Press Picks

Press Picks

Press Picks

The Avenging Exterminator

Why the House majority whip got involved in the Fort Bend sheriff's race

Letters