Gary Kubiak

  • Blogs

    March 19, 2014

    NFL GM's Ranked In Order of Tenure (Sorry, Texan Fans)

    On the surface, the word "loyal" feels positive, and that's because at its core, loyalty is a noble trait that comes from a good place in one's heart. However, in business (and really in any walk of life, but especially business), loyalty has to be based on merit. It can't be blind, nor can it be b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2014

    Gary Kubiak Lands On His Feet In Baltimore

    After Gary Kubiak's time as Houston Texans head coach ended abruptly and somewhat ignominiously on a Friday morning in early December, speculation begun in earnest during the holidays as to what Kubiak would choose to do next. An interview with the Detroit Lions for a head coaching job that eventua ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 1, 2014

    Countdown to 2013 King of Content: 2. Gary Kubiak and Matt Schaub (Schaubiak!)

    Every year since 2010, I've written the Houston Texans season preview for the print edition of the Houston Press, and while I've never been further off on a prediction for the final won-loss record than I was in 2013, I don't think I could have been more spot on with what the determining factor woul ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2013

    Offseason Blueprint: Four Priorities For The Texans

    The early time of death was surprising. But with a painful illness that we already knew to be fatal, perhaps it's a relief for everyone involved. No, we certainly didn't expect the 2013 Texans to become the worst team in the NFL at 2-14. But after the 11-1 start in 2012 that ended with a collapse t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 20, 2013

    Blame Gary Kubiak All You Want, But Rick Smith Shares the Responsibility for the Texans Failure

    So Gary Kubiak's been fired and it looks like Wade Phillips is coaching himself out of a job. But truth of the matter is that Bob McNair could con Jon Gruden or Tony Dungy into taking this job and that still wouldn't be enough. The problems with this team go far deeper than Gary Kubiak and his inab ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 18, 2013

    Happy Gary Kubiak Picture Is a Great Way To Start Your Day

    Nobody likes getting fired, and certainly when people wind up failing at their job, they internalize it in any number of different ways. For example, when current Lakers head coach Mike D'Antoni was fired as the head coach of the New York Knicks a few years ago, reports surfaced that he was not ad ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 13, 2013

    This Weekend's Best Bets: "Texans New Head Coach" Odds Are Out!

    Before the 2013 NFL season started, you could get odds on which head coach would be the first one fired this season. (I have no idea what it must feel like to have people betting on your employment status, but it's not for me to be the moral compass of wagering. The odds are out there, and therefore ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 5, 2013

    BATTLE-DRINK, Week 14: Thursday Night Self Mutilation Edition

    In Houston Texans seasons past, the running joke was that each season would have around two or three [sarcastic exaggeration font enabled] "biggest games in the history of the team." Hell, even 2013 had a couple of them early in the season with the home loss to Seattle and the road thrashing at the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 14, 2013

    Ed Reed Gone, The Epilogue: "It All Gets Back To Football"

    "It all gets back to football." -- Gary Kubiak on the Tuesday release of safety Ed Reed After convalescing for a week or so on the heels of a mini-stroke suffered at halftime of the home game against the Colts eleven days ago, Texans head coach Gary Kubiak returned to work on Wednesday to begin pre ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2013

    BATTLE-DRINK, Week 10: Randy Bullock Bullies Your Liver

    We are at the mathematical halfway point of the Texans season, and the team sits at 2-6. It's funny how this weekly BATTLE-DRINK game, if you go back and look at each week, in an odd way sort of weaves the tapestry of the entire season. You can see how all the storylines and futility have evolved we ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 6, 2013

    Texans Kicker Saga: The Randy Bullock Era Lives On

    Tuesday afternoon, the Houston Texans put up a post on the teams website to announce that head coach Gary Kubiak was being released from the hospital, less than 48 hours removed from the frightening mini-stroke that he suffered at halftime of the 27-24 loss to the Indianapolis Colts. The comments s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2013

    Gary Kubiak Cleared To Leave Hospital

    The Houston Texans say head coach Gary Kubiak, who dramatically collapsed on the field at halftime of Sunday's loss to the Colts, has been cleared to leave the hospital and go home. Doctors are saying it's possible Kubiak suffered a "mini-stroke," or a transient ischemic attack, which is often a si ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 4, 2013

    Colts 27, Texans 24: And That Will Just About Do It For 2013

    "What if I told you that a desperate team would play its best half of football in over a year, only to have the happiness taken away in an instant in the scariest way possible?" -- ESPN "30 for 30" Voice Guy on the eventual ad for the inevitable documentary on this bizarre Texans season As a Texans ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 3, 2013

    UPDATE: Texans Coach Gary Kubiak Hospitalized After Collapse

    Update: Texans general manager Rick Smith told NBC after the game Kubiak "had an episode" where he was lightheaded and dizzy, but his vital signs are stable, and Kubiak is responsive in the hospital, and might return to work as soon as Monday. Just as Texan fans began to celebrate a fantastic first ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 1, 2013

    Texans-Colts BATTLE-DRINK: Five Running Backs, Two Lucks

    Here's me channeling an NFL player... After a September and October that included two Texans road trips, three Texans home games, a trip to College Station for Alabama-A&M, and a trip to South Bend for Oklahoma-Notre Dame, the bye week came at a good time for me. Yes, that's right, last weekend's ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2013

    Case Keenum Named Texans Starting Quarterback Again This Sunday

    "Obviously, Matt's our starting quarterback. Case played this week because Matt wasn't healthy. Case went in and played extremely well." -- Gary Kubiak, 10/21/13 "Case will start this week." -- Gary Kubiak, 10/28/13 Ostensibly, if you take Gary Kubiak's quotes from his past two Monday press confer ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 24, 2013

    Assessing the Damage: Comparing Losing Streaks of the Gary Kubiak Era

    Say what you will about Gary Kubiak the head coach, but Gary Kubiak the person seems to be a genuinely nice man. All stories behind the scenes point to that, and every player of his I've ever spoken with, past and present, seem to have a sincere admiration, if not adoration, for the man they call Ku ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 14, 2013

    The Definitive Summary Of The Houston Texans, Post-Letterman Jackets

    "I'll just say this -- for the past few weeks, the finger has been pointed in one direction a lot. But we sprung leaks all over the place today as a football team. We got our butt kicked as a football team." -- Gary Kubiak, post game after the Rams 38-13 decimation on Sunday Gary Kubiak is right in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 9, 2013

    Lack of Accountability Plaguing the Houston Texans Organization

    In his weekly press conference on Monday, Texans coach Gary Kubiak bristled at the notion that there is no accountability with his team. "I can promise you there is accountability," he said. "If I think, on our football team, that something needs to be done, then I'll do it." In this case, he was re ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 30, 2013

    Seahawks 23, Texans 20: Congratulations, You've Been Schaubed

    I'm not generally a fan of doomsday predictors. I like them only marginally less than rose-colored glasses wearers. I tend to prefer reality and the reality is the Texans have a serious problem. Before you start shouting the name of the current starting quarterback or the perfect-haired play caller ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 30, 2013

    The Matt Schaub Jersey Barbecue

    "But I put him in a bad situation, not running the ball there, trying to be aggressive, trying to make a play and we didn't. And it ended up killing us." -- Gary Kubiak on the Seahawks' interception returned for the game tying touchdown against the Texans After the Texans' maddening 23-20 overtime ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 28, 2013

    Texans-Cowboys: Final Preseason Odds And Ends, Latest 53 Man Roster Prediction

    On Tuesday, the Texans made their final set of moves to get down to 75 players before they head up to Dallas on Wednesday for the game Thursday night, placing wide receiver Alec Lemon on the injured reserve list and placing nose tackle David Hunter and wide receiver Mike Smith on waiver/injured rese ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 26, 2013

    Saints 31, Texans 23: Offense Shines, But Can They Stop The Big Plays?

    The result by itself doesn't matter. Despite losing to the Saints, the Texans had a mostly good day from a big-picture standpoint. They put up nearly 500 yards of offense (496) against a competent opponent. They came out without any significant injuries. Andre Johnson looked better than ever. They ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 23, 2013

    Gary Kubiak Officially Takes "That's On Me" To A Whole New Level

    I've spoken privately and on the radio to literally dozens of Texans players during the Gary Kubiak Era, and whether it's been a role player, a star player, a veteran, or an undrafted rookie, unequivocally their assessment of Gary Kubiak as a person has been the same: They all love Gary Kubiak. Wh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 29, 2013

    Texans Training Camp: What Stood Out On Opening Weekend

    First impressions are tricky business in NFL training camps. With pads off, contact limited and many veterans still rounding into shape, the cream may not instantly rise. Nonetheless, premature analysis comes with the territory during the unofficial start to the NFL season. It's especially the case ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 25, 2013

    Is Gary Kubiak Going To Be The Next Norv Turner?

    Despite what you heard, the Houston Texans will be playing football on Sunday. Not all of them, maybe. But nine of the guys will suit up and take the field for the AFC in the Pro Bowl. Sure it's not the Super Bowl, but who really cares about the Super Bowl, right? The Texans ended the season on a d ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2013

    Consolation Prize: The Onion Spoofs the Texans to Add Insult to Injury

    It's hard not to like the Onion. Any organization that spends its entire existence lampooning news, politics, sports and anything else that makes headlines is pretty damn awesome. Unfortunately, this week, the Texans were in their crosshairs. It's understandable considering the rough way yet another ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 31, 2012

    Colts 28, Texans 16: Gary Kubiak-Led Collapse Reaches Fitting Conclusion

    Dumbfounding special teams miscues. A 70-yard touchdown over the top on 3rd-and-23. Two inexplicable Matt Schaub interceptions with the offense rolling. Four offsides penalties. Two timeouts wasted on a baffling challenge and an indecisive fourth down. These are Gary Kubiak's Houston Texans. In the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2012

    Texans 21, Bills 9: What Stood Out From A Sluggish Seventh Win

    See pics of the Texans' win on Military Appreciation Day at Reliant Stadium. If the Texans had a trap game on their 2012 schedule, this appeared to be it. One week after a bye. Two weeks removed from an emotional matchup with long-time nemesis Baltimore. Seven days before an NBC primetime showdown ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 27, 2012

    Saints 34, Texans 27: Five Things We Learned

    In name, Saturday did represent the clichéd dress rehearsal for the Texans. In practicality, it was only the case on one side of the ball. With the defense missing Shaun Cody, J.J. Watt and Brian Cushing, there isn't that much use to reading fortunes on that side of the ball. The Saints are an eli ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 13, 2012

    Football Is Back! Texans Preseason Week One: 4 Winners, 4 Losers

    At this point in the season, it's more about effort than execution. We're all rusty, even the media. Hell, Saturday night alone one local sports anchor mistook Keshawn Martin being the rookie wide receiver who was suspended last year instead of DeVier Posey (tweets deleted), the Houston Chronicle ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 3, 2012

    Yes, Gary Kubiak Is In Mid-Season "Battling" Form

    With Texans' training camp in full swing, there's one thing fans want to know -- is head coach Gary Kubiak in mid-season quote-machine form? The answer is decidedly yes. Odd circumlocutions? You bet: Former New Orleans Saint, current Texan Mitch King? "He's a try-hard player." Of Houston Cougars' ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 5, 2011

    Texans 17, Falcons 10: The Day Gary Kubiak Won The City Of Houston

    Yes we can​One of the major criticisms of Gary Kubiak has been an alleged lack of guts. From his turning away on game-winning field goal attempts to generally conservative playcalling when ahead, Texans fans wondered over the years if he had the killer instinct to win big. But the 2011 season ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 11, 2011

    NFL Lockout: It's All But Official, Texans Torture Will Be at Least Delayed

    Always look on the bright side of life​Get ready for a total shutdown of the NFL: The player's union has decertified, meaning the labor dispute will now move to the (always swift-moving) federal court system. It's all but certain that football fans will endure a work stoppage for the first ti ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 14, 2011

    Rick Dennison -- "I Just Work in Houston Now"

    Rick Dennison, in orange and blue​"I'm orange and blue all the way through. I just work in Houston now." -- Rick Dennison before his unsuccessful attempt to get the Broncos' head coaching position There you go, Houston. Maybe your city isn't the final stop for every wayward Denver Bronco so ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 5, 2011

    Gary Kubiak Deathwatch: He Is Risen

    ​Bob McNair's decision to retain Gary Kubiak -- yes, there's a Hitler video about it -- shakes at the very foundations of belief in a sane, logical universe. What kind of owner brings back Kubiak? The kind of owner who hires Wade Phillips as defensive coordinator, that's who. Just think -- b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 5, 2011

    Comment of the Day: The Conflicted Life of a Texans Fan

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 3, 2011

    Texans 34, Jaguars 17: Will Strong Finish Outweigh Weeks of Futility?

    Texans fans hold their breath​For the first nine seasons of the Houston Texans franchise, the biggest problem for owner Bob McNair has been his inability to properly handle or frame success. The beast could be about to rear its ugly head yet again. A week ago, the thought was that eight lo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 28, 2010

    Gary Kubiak: Three Questions To Be Answered Without The Same Tired Script

    Gary Kubiak: Three simple questions​The only thing that has become more predictable than the Houston Texans' collective performance each Sunday (or random Monday or Thursday) is Gary Kubiak's weekly "day after game" press conference, not surprising since the content for the latter is a direct ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 28, 2010

    Why a Fire Gary Kubiak Rally is a Bad Idea

    Image courtesy of John RonaldSome rallies just have a way of coming together.​Seems like a lot of folks are down right pissed at Gary Kubiak these days. Texans owner Bob McNair doesn't appear to be among them, but our latest Death Watch has the poor guy on his last legs here and fans on sports ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 6, 2010

    Gary Kubiak Deathwatch: The Needle Is Dropping

    ​The euphoria that strangely gripped Houstonians and had them feverishly calculating playoff possibilities after the Titans game didn't last long. The Texans, and head coach Gary Kubiak, looked pretty bad in a Thursday-night game in Philadelphia. They will not improve on last season's record ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 24, 2010

    Kubiak Death Watch: The Bell Tolls for Thee

    The Grim Reaper is waiting at the door​Our Gary Kubiak death-o-meter is seriously running hot this week after a horrible loss to the New York Jets. Much like the rest of the season, the team rallied, then collapsed and the defense sucked like a turbo charged Dyson. The Texans are on pace to b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 22, 2010

    Houston Texans - Jobber To The Stars

    Just call him Gary "Special Delivery" Kubiak​"You just keep playin', you work hard in this business...keep workin', believe in what you're doin', keep your chin up, and keep pluggin', somethin' good will go our way." -- Gary Kubiak, 11/21/10 (but truth be told, he's said some variation of thi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 18, 2010

    Runner-Up Turkey of the Year: Gary Kubiak

    Gary Kubiak loses something? Un-possible!​It's a week or so away from the 2010 Turkeys of the Year issue, where we honor what is best in Turkeydom for the past year. This will be our eighth edition of the awards, and as always competition is stiff. Building up to the grand announcement of the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 18, 2010

    The Gary Kubiak Deathwatch Begins

    ​Let's face it, it's time. Time for a Gary Kubiak Deathwatch. Not on his corporal being, of course, but on his job as Houston Texans head coach. Things are getting grim. Five years is long enough to get your people in there, your systems, whatever it is you think a team needs to at least rea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2010

    Hey Gary Kubiak: Driscoll Middle School Has A Play For You

    All of Houston knows that Gary Kubiak apparently doesn't know how to call a fourth-and-short play. We don't know if this play, from Corpus Christi's Driscoll Middle School, was on fourth or third down or what, but it obviously worked.

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2010

    Houston Texans -- Do Something, Bob McNair

    Headlines don't lie​Every home game Sunday, the Houston Texans put out a free publication called the Tailgate Times that gets handed to ticket holders and media members as they pull into their respective Reliant Stadium parking lots. It's essentially a four-page piece of upbeat Texans propaga ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2010

    If Gary Kubiak Had Been Around In Key Historical Moments

    Houston Texans' coach Gary Kubiak is the genius who piloted the team to a big win over the Indianapolis Colts early this year via a punishing running game. He's also the idiot, fans are saying, who piloted the team to a crushing loss against the Colts Monday by trying to throw the ball constantly. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 3, 2010

    Houston Texans -- Dissecting Gary Kubiak's Press Conference

    How's that hopey-changey thing workin' out for ya?​Nobody's perfect.This is what I involuntarily remind myself every day with my myriad of fuck-ups, and what I try to willingly remind myself as I sit down to watch every Houston Texans game, assess the various tactical decisions made throughout the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 16, 2010

    Texans' First Pre-Season Game: Some Things Never Change

    Still baffled by the red zone​Preseason football games, I think we can all agree, are essentially worthless games for the fans. The final score means nothing. And a winning record in preseason doesn't translate to a winning record in the regular season. The games are important to the coaches an ... More >>

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