Gary Kubiak

Is Gary Kubiak Going To Be The Next Norv Turner?

Despite what you heard, the Houston Texans will be playing football on Sunday. Not all of them, maybe. But nine of the guys will suit up and take the field for the AFC in the Pro Bowl. Sure it's not the Super Bowl, but who really cares about the Super Bowl, right? The Texans ended the season on a d ... More >>

Consolation Prize: The Onion Spoofs the Texans to Add Insult to Injury

It's hard not to like the Onion. Any organization that spends its entire existence lampooning news, politics, sports and anything else that makes headlines is pretty damn awesome. Unfortunately, this week, the Texans were in their crosshairs. It's understandable considering the rough way yet another ... More >>

Colts 28, Texans 16: Gary Kubiak-Led Collapse Reaches Fitting Conclusion

Dumbfounding special teams miscues. A 70-yard touchdown over the top on 3rd-and-23. Two inexplicable Matt Schaub interceptions with the offense rolling. Four offsides penalties. Two timeouts wasted on a baffling challenge and an indecisive fourth down. These are Gary Kubiak's Houston Texans. In the ... More >>

Texans 21, Bills 9: What Stood Out From A Sluggish Seventh Win

See pics of the Texans' win on Military Appreciation Day at Reliant Stadium. If the Texans had a trap game on their 2012 schedule, this appeared to be it. One week after a bye. Two weeks removed from an emotional matchup with long-time nemesis Baltimore. Seven days before an NBC primetime showdown ... More >>

Saints 34, Texans 27: Five Things We Learned

In name, Saturday did represent the clichéd dress rehearsal for the Texans. In practicality, it was only the case on one side of the ball. With the defense missing Shaun Cody, J.J. Watt and Brian Cushing, there isn't that much use to reading fortunes on that side of the ball. The Saints are an eli ... More >>

Football Is Back! Texans Preseason Week One: 4 Winners, 4 Losers

At this point in the season, it's more about effort than execution. We're all rusty, even the media. Hell, Saturday night alone one local sports anchor mistook Keshawn Martin being the rookie wide receiver who was suspended last year instead of DeVier Posey (tweets deleted), the Houston Chronicle ... More >>

Yes, Gary Kubiak Is In Mid-Season "Battling" Form

With Texans' training camp in full swing, there's one thing fans want to know -- is head coach Gary Kubiak in mid-season quote-machine form? The answer is decidedly yes. Odd circumlocutions? You bet: Former New Orleans Saint, current Texan Mitch King? "He's a try-hard player." Of Houston Cougars' ... More >>

Texans 17, Falcons 10: The Day Gary Kubiak Won The City Of Houston

Yes we can​One of the major criticisms of Gary Kubiak has been an alleged lack of guts. From his turning away on game-winning field goal attempts to generally conservative playcalling when ahead, Texans fans wondered over the years if he had the killer instinct to win big. But the 2011 season ... More >>

NFL Lockout: It's All But Official, Texans Torture Will Be at Least Delayed

Always look on the bright side of life​Get ready for a total shutdown of the NFL: The player's union has decertified, meaning the labor dispute will now move to the (always swift-moving) federal court system. It's all but certain that football fans will endure a work stoppage for the first ti ... More >>

Rick Dennison -- "I Just Work in Houston Now"

Rick Dennison, in orange and blue​"I'm orange and blue all the way through. I just work in Houston now." -- Rick Dennison before his unsuccessful attempt to get the Broncos' head coaching position There you go, Houston. Maybe your city isn't the final stop for every wayward Denver Bronco so ... More >>

Gary Kubiak Deathwatch: He Is Risen

​Bob McNair's decision to retain Gary Kubiak -- yes, there's a Hitler video about it -- shakes at the very foundations of belief in a sane, logical universe. What kind of owner brings back Kubiak? The kind of owner who hires Wade Phillips as defensive coordinator, that's who. Just think -- b ... More >>

Comment of the Day: The Conflicted Life of a Texans Fan

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Texans 34, Jaguars 17: Will Strong Finish Outweigh Weeks of Futility?

Texans fans hold their breath​For the first nine seasons of the Houston Texans franchise, the biggest problem for owner Bob McNair has been his inability to properly handle or frame success. The beast could be about to rear its ugly head yet again. A week ago, the thought was that eight lo ... More >>

Top Ten Houston Sports Stories in 2010 (Alternate Title: "Here Comes The Prozac")

Brian Cushing will bring a keg and Fear of Tumors to your party​Putting together a "Top 10 Sports Moments" list is not supposed to invoke these feelings of anger and depression. But then again, I live in Houston, so try as I might to make this a list that is uplifting and inspiring, I can't. ... More >>

Gary Kubiak: Three Questions To Be Answered Without The Same Tired Script

Gary Kubiak: Three simple questions​The only thing that has become more predictable than the Houston Texans' collective performance each Sunday (or random Monday or Thursday) is Gary Kubiak's weekly "day after game" press conference, not surprising since the content for the latter is a direct ... More >>

Why a Fire Gary Kubiak Rally is a Bad Idea

Image courtesy of John RonaldSome rallies just have a way of coming together.​Seems like a lot of folks are down right pissed at Gary Kubiak these days. Texans owner Bob McNair doesn't appear to be among them, but our latest Death Watch has the poor guy on his last legs here and fans on sports ... More >>

Gary Kubiak Deathwatch: The Needle Is Dropping

​The euphoria that strangely gripped Houstonians and had them feverishly calculating playoff possibilities after the Titans game didn't last long. The Texans, and head coach Gary Kubiak, looked pretty bad in a Thursday-night game in Philadelphia. They will not improve on last season's record ... More >>

Kubiak Death Watch: The Bell Tolls for Thee

The Grim Reaper is waiting at the door​Our Gary Kubiak death-o-meter is seriously running hot this week after a horrible loss to the New York Jets. Much like the rest of the season, the team rallied, then collapsed and the defense sucked like a turbo charged Dyson. The Texans are on pace to b ... More >>

Houston Texans - Kubiak Believes In Bush (and #Kubiakbelievesinyou)

Guess which one the Texans are!​"I believe in him (defensive coordinator Frank Bush). I think we played much better defense. I think if we finished the game, we'd be talking about how much better we were. There were a lot of good things that went on. I believe in the guy. That's why he's here ... More >>

Houston Texans - Jobber To The Stars

Just call him Gary "Special Delivery" Kubiak​"You just keep playin', you work hard in this business...keep workin', believe in what you're doin', keep your chin up, and keep pluggin', somethin' good will go our way." -- Gary Kubiak, 11/21/10 (but truth be told, he's said some variation of thi ... More >>

Runner-Up Turkey of the Year: Gary Kubiak

Gary Kubiak loses something? Un-possible!​It's a week or so away from the 2010 Turkeys of the Year issue, where we honor what is best in Turkeydom for the past year. This will be our eighth edition of the awards, and as always competition is stiff. Building up to the grand announcement of the ... More >>

The Gary Kubiak Deathwatch Begins

​Let's face it, it's time. Time for a Gary Kubiak Deathwatch. Not on his corporal being, of course, but on his job as Houston Texans head coach. Things are getting grim. Five years is long enough to get your people in there, your systems, whatever it is you think a team needs to at least rea ... More >>

Jaguars 31, Texans 24: Were You Even Surprised?

Hail Mary, full of grace....​Until eight days ago, it still felt different. Sure, the Texans were 4-3 and coming off a rough loss to the Colts. But until then, when the Texans had been beaten, they were clearly the lesser team -- losing by at least 13 points to physically superior opponents o ... More >>

Hey Gary Kubiak: Driscoll Middle School Has A Play For You

All of Houston knows that Gary Kubiak apparently doesn't know how to call a fourth-and-short play. We don't know if this play, from Corpus Christi's Driscoll Middle School, was on fourth or third down or what, but it obviously worked.

Houston Texans -- Do Something, Bob McNair

Headlines don't lie​Every home game Sunday, the Houston Texans put out a free publication called the Tailgate Times that gets handed to ticket holders and media members as they pull into their respective Reliant Stadium parking lots. It's essentially a four-page piece of upbeat Texans propaga ... More >>

If Gary Kubiak Had Been Around In Key Historical Moments

Houston Texans' coach Gary Kubiak is the genius who piloted the team to a big win over the Indianapolis Colts early this year via a punishing running game. He's also the idiot, fans are saying, who piloted the team to a crushing loss against the Colts Monday by trying to throw the ball constantly. ... More >>

Houston Texans -- Dissecting Gary Kubiak's Press Conference

How's that hopey-changey thing workin' out for ya?​Nobody's perfect.This is what I involuntarily remind myself every day with my myriad of fuck-ups, and what I try to willingly remind myself as I sit down to watch every Houston Texans game, assess the various tactical decisions made throughout the ... More >>

Texans-Colts: You Come At The King, You Best Not Miss

The Texans failed to heed sage advice​"You come at the king, you best not miss." -- Omar Little, The Wire That line works. Whether you're trying to riddle the most feared gangster in the drug neighborhood with bullets or whether you're attempting to sweep the season series from the best quarter ... More >>

Texans' First Pre-Season Game: Some Things Never Change

Still baffled by the red zone​Preseason football games, I think we can all agree, are essentially worthless games for the fans. The final score means nothing. And a winning record in preseason doesn't translate to a winning record in the regular season. The games are important to the coaches an ... More >>

Houston Texans: Crank Up The Chronicle's Propaganda Machine

Will that "H" be replaced with an "N"?​Training camp opens for the Houston Texans on Friday. And as hard as it is to believe, the Houston Chronicle is high on the team's chances to make the playoffs.NFL "expert" John McClain says the Texans will be a contender for a wild card spot. As McClain ... More >>

Game Time: Gary Kubiak's Contract Extension -- Move Along, There's Nothing To See Here

​A couple of years in, I'm finally starting to get the hang of this sports talk radio thing.  Basically, what you do is you fill four hours a day making issues in the sports world seem as though the fate of mankind rests on the outcome, choose the side which you think will save mankind, defen ... More >>

What's It Gonna Take To Get Gary Kubiak Fired?

Photo by Mark C. Austin​Before the football season, Houston Texans owner Bob McNair supposedly said that anything short of the playoffs for the team would be unacceptable. I say supposedly because here we are, in January, at the end of another non-playoff season, and not only is Gary Kubiak still ... More >>

With Playoff Possibilities Mostly Gone, The Good Texans Return. Sound Familiar?

​It's remarkable to watch a Texans season supposed to be so different follow a nearly identical script. Sunday's 34-7 win over the Seattle Seahawks snapped a four-game losing streak and, at least in theory, keeps the Texans (6-7) alive in playoff discussion. But with most reasonable postseas ... More >>

Game Time: Defend Gary Kubiak? I'll Take A Stab At It

​Much has been made about Gary Kubiak's alleged hell, fire and brimstone speech he gave to the Texans in Saturday's team meeting before Sunday's workmanlike 34-7 win against the Seattle Seahawks. Actually, I didn't see the speech, so to portray it as "win one for the Gipper 2009" may not be entire ... More >>

No Justice, No Kubiak

​Gary Kubiak is a nice guy. I'll stipulate to that. He works hard. I'll stipulate to that. Bob McNair likes him. I'll stipulate to that. But that Gary Kubiak deserves to keep his job because of that? That I won't stipulate to.But according to the Houston Chronicle's Richard Justice, Kubiak ... More >>

Game Time: "Oh My God....He's Gonna Throw It.....NOOOOOOO!!!!"

​"That's the thing about defining moments -- when they define you as really, really good or really, really bad, you pretty much know them the minute they occur; when the jury is still out on whether you're good or bad, ultimately you have to go back and find the defining moment."  -- Sean Pen ... More >>

Colts 35, Texans 27: At Least You Saw This One Coming

​The most alarming aspect in the latest installment of Texans collapses wasn't the game itself. Rather, what's most frightening is just how customary this has become under the leadership of head coach Gary Kubiak.In this week's edition, the lion's share of blame goes to quarterback Matt Schaub and ... More >>

Game Time: Defining Texans Coach Gary Kubiak

​"When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment... or the moment defines you." -- Roy McAvoyCertainly, I'm not asking Gary Kubiak to make like the source of the above quote and take multiple 3-wood shots over a water hazard to post a 12 on the last hole of the U.S. Open, or even do o ... More >>

Game Time: Stop Me If You've Heard This Before -- So The Texans Are Going To Tie The Game....

​There are certain teams around the NFL where having the national stage all to themselves -- say, on a Thursday night, Sunday night, or especially on Monday night -- is seen as just another day at the office. To teams like the Colts, Patriots, Giants, and a handful of others, the prime-time stage ... More >>

Game Time: Weekend Review

​I hope everyone had a great weekend, and that you were all able to enjoy the nice weather by moving your television and recliner into your driveway to watch football on TV.  I'd like to start off by welcoming the Texans to this new thing for them called "November".  Boys, I know in ... More >>

The Gary Kubiak Experiment Should Be About Over, Shouldn't It?

Photo by William Holtkamp​Stop me if you've heard this one before."We obviously weren't ready to play and that starts with me," Gary Kubiak said Sunday. "You play that poorly, that starts with the coach. I didn't have them ready to go."Yeah, that sounds pretty damn familiar to me. Take any Houston ... More >>

Who Anointed Gary Kubiak A Quarterback Guru?

​Dan Orlovsky entered the Texans/Saints game in the second quarter. He did his best Rex Grossman at one point when he threw wildly for an interception. And he didn't really look that good throughout the game. But Joel Meyers and Spencer Tillman, the TV announcers on KTRK -- by the way, nice job on ... More >>

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Texans Settle Into Mediocrity

Okay, so the Texans beat the Chicago Bears on Sunday to finish their second straight season at 8-8. That's two seasons in a row of mediocrity. Can I have a YAY TEAM! Over at the Chron, Richard Justice thinks the team is heading in the right direction and has turned the corner. He likes how G ... More >>

Texans Fire Three Defensive Coaches

And so it begins. Looking to deflect the blame from his incompetence, Gary Kubiak lowered the boom on three of his defensive coaches today, firing defensive coordinator Richard Smith, defensive backs coach Jon Hoke, and defensive line coach Jethro Franklin.

Texans Fire Three Defensive Coaches

And so it begins. Looking to deflect the blame from his incompetence, Gary Kubiak lowered the boom on three of his defensive coaches today, firing defensive coordinator Richard Smith, defensive backs coach Jon Hoke, and defensive line coach Jethro Franklin.

Houston Texans Remain Positive, and Maybe That’s the Problem

Gary Kubiak’s Top Ten Excuses for Losing to the Colts

Ten Reasons Why the Texans Didn’t Challenge the Call on Justin McCareins’ Sideline Catch

We Need Ricky Williams. We Don't Need Richard Justice.

Jason’s Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week Seven: No Light at the End of the Tunnel Just Yet