Glenn Beck

Dan Patrick Announces End to Pro-Islamic CSCOPE - Main Supporter, in Celebration, Yells Out 'Yeehaw!'

Months after becoming one of the favored bogeymen among certain right-wing circles, it appears CSCOPE, the curriculum and lesson framework used in nearly 900 school districts the state, is no more. State Sen. Dan Patrick held a press conference Monday morning announcing that he had received a letter ... More >>

Transcribing Is a Bitch: The Collected Craig Hlavaty Interviews

My last official day at the Houston Press is tomorrow, so these past two weeks I have been sifting through my body of work here at Rocks Off, almost seven years of words. I've been gleefully overdosing on nostalgia here at my desk, and I have (almost) no regrets. I'll have some more words on my depa ... More >>

What the #?!$ is Hanukkah?: 10 Songs to Help You Figure It Out

It's December now, and the holiday season is rapidly approaching. If you're a Christian, you know the reason for the season is the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus H. Christ. But one thing you may have noticed is that we don't live in a Christian nation, contrary to the beliefs of commentators su ... More >>

Facebook Weirdness

A&M Shooter Thomas Caffall's Disturbing Facebook Page: Yoda, Emily Dickinson, Commie Guns

Thomas Caffall's mother told the media yesterday that she had been worried about her son's mental state, and from looking at his Facebook page, it's easy to see why. Having a right-wing gun nut in the family is one thing. Having one who goes around quoting Yoda and Emily Dickinson is another. Caffa ... More >>

13 Wacky Texas History Facts That Texas School Kids Need To Be Taught

This week Mother Jones uncovered a handful of spurious, less-than-scientific facts that Louisiana grade-schoolers will be learning while attending the state's new voucher schools. Obviously, people aren't happy. A new voucher program under the watch of Governor Bobby Jindal will allot money for st ... More >>

Bye, Bye Rick Perry: How Ted Cruz Became Texas' Most-Important Republican -- and He's Not Even Elected!

Rick Perry, it's so over. Sure, you've been fun. Hell, you've been great to us here at Hair Balls. Like that time you thought Solyndra, a solar company, was a country? Or, when you applauded George W. Bush for all his work defending us from freedom? Oh, man. That was a good one. And just recently wh ... More >>

The Hair Balls Super Bowl Live Blog: Remember To Piss

In some alternate universe, the streets of Houston are currently bathed in Miller Lite, Reliant Stadium and every bar in town is a watch party, with even the homeless folks are wearing soiled Texans jerseys. But alas, our Houston Texans only made it into the second round of the playoffs, and here we ... More >>

Googling Santorum: The Chron's TexasSparkle Makes a Horrifying Discovery

TexasSparkle is the highlight of the Houston Chronicle's "Anyone Can Blog" page. Kathleen McKinley is her real name, and she's a person who thinks Sarah Palin is a serious individual, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh make sense, etc., etc. Her bio says she is a "co-host [of] SmartGirlNation on FTRadio ... More >>

Rocks Off's Annual Descent Into Sunny 99.1's Christmas Music K-Hole

Since 2008, I have spent an hour listening to Sunny 99.1 FM's Christmas music for the Rocks Off blog. Right after Thanksgiving, it's the first thing on my checklist, right next to finding new, weird holiday music for you and trying not to gain 20 pounds in merriment by January. Most of the time on ... More >>

Mormons: Whether We Should Hate Them or Not

A Shallow Yet Helpful Guide

ICP's Violent J Talks Texas, Faygo & The Juggalo Family

"Texas is my favorite state" Next Tuesday, Detroit's Insane Clown Posse invades Houston for the third time in as many years for another night of Faygo and Juggalo family fun at Warehouse Live. This will also be Rocks Off's third jump into that sticky, harrowing breach. The past two years have bee ... More >>

The Shuttle's Souvenir Load

20,000 flags and 10,000 patches aboard

KTRH All But Says Goodbye to News, Welcomes More Right-Wing Blather

The Houston Chronicle's David Barron just reported that longtime KTRH news anchors J.P. Pritchard and Lana Hughes are leaving the station in favor of new hosts Mike Patrick and Lois Melkonian. In case you need an introduction to Mike Patrick, check out the above video where he personifies the term ... More >>

The 10 Worst Things Texas Has Given To The Modern World

It's not nature's way, it's Houston's​If we were to list all the great, terrific things Texas, Our Texas has given to civilization, we would be here all day. (Two words: Jessica Simpson.) Unfortunately, Texas has also gifted America and the world with some things the world and America would n ... More >>

Last Night: Scott Stapp At House Of Blues

Photos by Groovehouse​Scott Stapp House of Blues March 29, 2011 We all knew coming into this what would happen. It was going to be a show for the fans, not the smirking cynics. Fair enough. A Scott Stapp solo acoustic show is what it was billed as, but it was really a quasi-electrified solo ... More >>

What Do Rappers Read?

Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn't a national holiday, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray​This Week's Panel: Bun B, Chingo Bling, The ARE, Kyle Hubbard, Rob G ... More >>

2010 Turkeys of the Year

Metro chief Frank Wilson is our biggest gobbler.

Runner-Up Turkey Of The Year: Rick Perry

Rick Perry: One race he couldn't win​It's just one day from the 2010 Turkeys of the Year issue, where we honor what is best in Turkeydom for the past year. This will be our eighth edition of the awards, and as always competition is stiff. Building up to the grand announcement of the winners, w ... More >>

Brent Green: Gravity Was Everywhere Back Then

President Rick Perry: Five Reasons It Will Happen, Five Reasons It Won't

President Rick Perry.​Governor Rick Perry, the man who has shown the ability to ride a crest of not really being liked to three gubernatorial wins, has done it again.He beat a Democrat in Texas, in the Tea Party year of 2010. A stunning achievement. Still, from now on the press will breathlessly b ... More >>

Rick Perry Vs. Jon Stewart On A Daily Show Deathcage Match

Stweart, Perry: Adios, mofo​In the wake of his big victory, Governor Rick Perry immediately focused like a laser beam on the state's massive budget gap. Or maybe he went on a book tour.In a series of interviews in which the cloying coyness about 2012 will be palpable, Perry is headed to the East C ... More >>

For Five Bucks I'd...

What Texans would do for a Lincoln

Tea Party: Coming Soon To Texas License Plates?

Courtesy MyPlates.comJust a historical reference, nothing political​Texas -- ever eager to do its part to foment rightwing nuttism -- may be giving official state sanction to the Tea Party, via license plates.New proposed license plates from MyPlates.com are out for review, and they include the "D ... More >>

Pop Rocks: What Books Would Jesus Burn?

​Talk about your (mostly) lone nuts. Terry Jones, reverend of something called the Dove World Outreach Center (sounds like a rehab facility that uses soap enema therapy), is going ahead with his planned "International Burn-A-Koran Day" on September 11. This in spite of mounting criticism from ... More >>

Brian Tuohy's The Fix Is In: Nothing In Sports Is As It Seems

OTOH, maybe the fix isn't in​As hard as it might be to believe, every Super Bowl since 1996 has been fixed. No, not fixed by gamblers or players trying to throw the game. But instead fixed by the NFL. Sure it sounds a bit far-fetched, but that's the allegation made by Brian Tuohy in his book, The ... More >>

Ron Paul Is Coming For You, Fort Knox

Ron Paul checks out the gold supply​Ron Paul -- the Brazoria County congressman who would be president, if only the country would come to its 18th-century senses -- is going Goldfinger.He says he just wants to see what actual gold the U.S. has in safekeeping at Fort Knox and and New York.But we kn ... More >>

Chances Are...

Popular lesbian bar Chances is done.

B L A C K I E Wants Glenn Beck Off His Knob

Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group "Artist of the Week," bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn't awful? Email their particulars to sheaserrano@gmail.com. myspace.com/blackieblackieblacki ... More >>

Sheriff Joe Arpaio's reign of terror becomes Arizona policy, thanks to state Senator Russell Pearce and Governor Jan Brewer.

Semi-Comeback for the Tower Theater

Plus: Rites of Bellaire - It's not hazing, it's fun

A Day At Discovery Green With The Tea Partiers

Photo by Marc Brubaker​The noise leading into the November election is only getting louder, as the dissent on the right side of the nation grows deafening. Yesterday on Discovery Green, a group of at least 1,000 Houston Tea Party supporters and some from other spaces in Texas converged to hold a T ... More >>

Glee: Highway to Hell-O

​ We're over the halfway point in Glee's inaugural season, having just overcome a three-month hiatus following the New Directions' (the William McKinley High School glee club) victory at sectionals. The last episode ended on such a high note -- the club triumphant, Will and Emma together at ... More >>

Aftermath: Muse On The March At Toyota Center

Photos by Mark C. Austin​Who does Muse think they are?Big Rock Stars, with a Big Stage Set to go along with their Big Ideas. A Big Stage Set that can, apparently, only be photographed from 100 yards away - any closer and the British trio's synapse-taxing lasers and jackbooted rock might have fract ... More >>

He Said She Said: "Dear Penis" And Other Country Comedy Classics

​ Aside from all the epic cheating, drinking and fighting songs country music has given us, one of the best things it does is make us laugh. Apart from all the crying and cussing, there is a whole deal of laughing going on. This year at RodeoHouston, there aren't many performers on the humorous si ... More >>

Labor Woes, ATM Cards and More Slang

Breathe Easy, Houston: We're Not Getting The GOP Convention

​Yesterday we noted that respected national publication Hotline had reported that Houston was one of four finalists for the 2012 GOP convention. Naturally, this caused much panic among  those people who aren't the kind to listen to Glenn Beck and nod their head saying "Damn, that man makes se ... More >>

Kay Bailey Hutchison Continues To Nail Down The Inside-The-Beltway Vote So Important To The Texas GOP This Year

​Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison rolled out the big guns today as President George H.W. Bush endorsed her. Coming on the heels of the recent endorsement of former Secretary of State James Baker, Hutchison has ably demonstrated what it takes to win the GOP gubernatorial primary. If it were being run i ... More >>

Lonesome Onry and Mean: Songwriting Scholar Steve Young Blasts Nashville's "Yuppa-billys"

For Lonesome, Onry and Mean, they don't come much taller or wiser than Steve Young. Young has been in a love/hate relationship with Nashville and the major labels since he came to town in the early Seventies. Along with Billy Joe Shaver, Young wrote the major anthems of the Outlaw movement that tip ... More >>

Tiger Woods Incident Proves Five Truisms Are True

​Tiger Woods' little traffic accident this holiday weekend has gripped the nation like nothing since Balloon Boy. It's also about as important as Balloon Boy.(This just in for those under-a-rock dwellers: Woods crashed his SUV into a fire hydrant and tree near his driveway at about 2:30 in the mor ... More >>

Glee: The Ballad of Will and Rachel

Last night's Glee, "Ballad," was pretty strong, if a little too full of awkward-in-a-bad-way moments. The musical numbers were entertaining and plot-driven, the jokes were on, the narration was ramped back up to Election levels, and the ep's main hook -- all the glee kids are randomly paired up to ... More >>

No, We Haven't Forgotten About That Other Guy Playing House of Blues Thursday

​Amidst all the rum, sodomy, and lashing going on this week about the Pogues hitting House of Blues Thursday, it's easy to forget that they have a pretty stellar opener warming up the crowd. Hmm, kinda reminds us of another Irish band that brought a really kick-ass young band with them a few weeks ... More >>

Obama's Screwing Texas Out Of Swine Flu Vaccine!!!! Or Maybe Not

​Is Obama trying to kill Texans as revenge for not voting for him?Quite possibly, if you believe a list of swine-flu vaccine information getting e-mailed around. (And yeah, we're calling it swine flu, you H1N1 snobs.)What's being e-mailed is a list of vaccine doses shipped, broken down by state. C ... More >>

Halloween Countdown Part 1: The Seven Most Cliched Costumes

Halloween is coming, and that means many, many costuming mistakes will be made by normally sane adults. To help stop this scourge, each Thursday we will be offering tips and analysis of what to avoid, or possibly what to do. It seems that every year Halloween becomes less and less about scaring othe ... More >>

Exposing Obama's "Brainwash The Kids" Scheme, With KTRH's Michael Berry

​You gotta admit this about the right-wing, talk-show-listening, Fox-News-loving one-third of America -- no one can whip up a paranoid kerfluffle like they can.The latest insidious event causing them to storm the barricades is Barack Obama's Stalin-like plan to hypnotize mass numbers of gullible s ... More >>

Feeling The Sweet Flow Of Freedom With Sean Hannity

Photo by Pete Vonder Haar​Conservative radio/TV host Sean Hannity began hosting his "Freedom Concert" series, benefiting Oliver North's Freedom Alliance Scholarship Fund for the children of soldiers killed or disabled in action, back in 2003. Last Saturday the 2009 incarnation kicked off at the Cy ... More >>

KTRH Listeners Speak Out, Inanely

​If you've been listening to Rush, Glenn Beck or Sean Hannity, you know that President Obama has called every single police officer in the nation "stupid," and that he has absolutely no respect for them.It's not because he's black, it's because....he's not Republican?We're not sure. Sometime it's ... More >>

Racism Goes Unchecked at Regent University, Meanwhile the Melanin-Challenged Turn Out to Protest... Something.

Highlights from the Blog at HOUSTONPRESS.COM

On The Scene At The Houston Tea Party

In the end, it exceeded the expectations of even its once-seemingly wildly overenthusiastic organizers. Approximately 3,500 pissed-off demonstrators packed Jones Plaza for a warm-up blues-rock concert and harangues about high taxes, debt, bail-outs, and socialism.     You'd have t ... More >>

Fareed Zakaria

The editor of Newsweek’s international edition says we’ve seen the “rise of the West” and now it’s time for the “rise of the rest”