Grand Larceny

Thieves Prepare for Summer Early by Plundering A/C Unit

After living in Houston for almost my entire life, I have accepted the fact that this city is gets too damn hot for too damn long. But, like everybody else, I just bitch and moan, until I finally accept it and I grab a cold beer and call it a day. Some have other ideas. According to a report from ... More >>

Top 5 Albums Lost to Us Because of Thieving Dicks

Songs are like babies. Some of them drop into the world with barely a push, while others require yanking out with a wicked set of tongs after a long labor. Generally the latter is more common than the former, which is why any musician worth his or her salt carries around some sort of notebook to kee ... More >>

Last Night: The Adolescents & Youth Brigade at Fitzgerald's

The Adolescents, Youth Brigade, The American Heist Fitzgerald's December 30, 2012 To end 2012 on a note of anti-apocalypse, in which the forces of vitality outmaneuver destruction and oblivion, Willow Villarreal of Hatetank Productions -- who has survived through the thick and thin of a fickle Hous ... More >>

Adolescents

Christmas at Fitzgerald's

You Better Watch Out...Someone Might Steal Your Car This Christmas

So, let's see, what's on my wish list for this year? There's this killer Rush baseball jersey, a $1000 Visa gift card, chicken nuggets for life and, oh right, NOT getting my car stolen or broken into. Given how many cars get ripped off during the holidays, that last one on the list might be the toug ... More >>

Creeperfest

Cobra Skulls

Venomous Maximus, American Heist Barrel Into Dallas' Riot Fest

This week our sister paper the Dallas Observer and their music blog DC9 At Night talked to Houston's own Venomous Maximus -- namely lead singer Gregg Higgins and guitarist Christian Larson -- for their "My First Show" series. Rewind: Venomous Maximus Head Out Onto the Highway For Summer Tour Roc ... More >>

Bury the Crown EP Release

The Williamson Boys: Pocket-Dial Allows 911 To Get A Play-By-Play Of Their Copper Theft

Modern technology giveth and it taketh away. It definitely hampered the best-laid plans of Kevin and Charles Williamson, two guys with lengthy criminal records who were planning on hitting a Lufkin construction site for some copper. The trouble was, according to the Lufkin News, was that one of th ... More >>

What The "Top 10 Stolen Vehicles" List Says About Houston

Stolen, by manly men​Every month Houston police put out a list of the most-often stolen vehicles, a list that defines what are either the most vulnerable or most desirable members of our automotive society. This month's is out....what does it tell us about Houston? 3. Our car thieves want yo ... More >>

High-rise Robbery

Stealing from the rich to...oh, whatever. Funny is the message in Tower Heist.

Matthew Mehdi Rouhani, 61, Bayou Body Count No. 139

A man was found shot to death in his westside business Saturday and his car was stolen, Houston police say. Matthew Mehdi Rouhani, 61, was found dead by employees in the 1600 block of Upland about 2:30 p.m. Saturday, HPD says. "Mr. Rouhani had not been seen since last Tuesday (Aug. 30) and his emp ... More >>

James Robert Monday's Manic Monday: East Texan Busted For Hauling Off Air-Water Machine from Store Parking Lot

James Robert Monday: Manic indeed​In the latest of our series of "Only in East Texas" crimes, an AARP-aged man by the name of Monday was busted on the day of the same name for -- get this -- stealing a convenience store's coin-operated air and water dispenser. Not the quarters in it, mind yo ... More >>

Ally Carter: Uncommon Criminals

16 City Employees Nabbed for Stealing City's Copper

HPDArthur Samuel, city employee and alleged copper thief​Sixteen city employees have been charged with stealing copper, because hey, it was there for the taking, we guess. Seven have been arrested so far, HPD says. Investigators got a tip that the workers were selling copper to Latino's Scra ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Fine Print on Crime Stats

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Auto Theft: 10 Best Houston Neighborhoods To Get Your Ride Stolen

​Houston can be a tough place to live without a car. So getting it stolen is a real bummer. And here are the 10 places where it's most likely to happen. We're not saying you need to avoid them, just be careful. The stats are from December, and as always, HPD cautions against comparing raw be ... More >>

Ten Houston Neighborhoods: The Crimes They Experience

Paging McGruff the Crime Dog​We've been plotting which neighborhoods in Houston lead in certain crime categories, but doing that doesn't really get you to the more well-known parts of town. So we decided to zero in on a few specific neighborhoods and see what crime's been going down in them. ... More >>

Witchy Woman

Weirdo, chola, pop princess, MySpace sensation...La Catrin is Houston's newest goth star.

Linda Rosales and Jessica Rosales: Fail In Scheme To Use Kid's Breath To Fool Breathalyzer

Cameron County SOLinda Rosales: Where's mother's little helper?​We've all been there before: we've driven to a party and gotten shit-faced. And then we've been faced with a dilemma: How best to get you and all your kids home?It's especially hard when the damn law has ordered that your car be fitte ... More >>

Clint Black

The American Heist

Joyce Espinosa: The Family That Lifts Together Sticks Together

Photo courtesy GCSOJoyce Espinoza is all about the family​And they say that not enough families are spending time together and sharing family activities...Last week, a 42-year-old Webster mom was arrested along with her two teenaged kids after the threesome walked out of a Friendswood HEB with $70 ... More >>

The American Heist Steal Houston's Punk-Rock Hearts

Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group "Artist of the Week," bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn't awful? Email their particulars to sheaserrano@gmail.com. Photos by Ms. Blackout/ myspace ... More >>

Some More HPMA Nominee MP3s And A Little Showcase Info

Monica Fuentes​One week from tomorrow, the 2010 Houston Press Music Awards ballot goes live online, so hello this year's nominees, you're running out of time to send us your MP3s so we can post them and show the city (and the rest of the Interwebs) what you sound like. Please send them to chri ... More >>

Distant Early Warning: Billy Idol, Black Crowes, Carrie Underwood, Dax Riggs, Erykah Badu, Goatwhore, The Spits, Etc.

​Stardeath & White Dwarfs, The Besnard Lakes: Wed., May 19. Walter's on Washington. Billy Idol: Wed., Aug. 25. House of Blues. Black Crowes: Sun., Sept. 26. Verizon Wireless Theater. Candlebox, Another Day, Rowe: Sat., May 15. Scout Bar Clear Lake. Carrie Underwood, Billy Currington, Sons Of ... More >>

Ally Carter: Heist Society

This much fun should be a crime

Listology: The American Heist Soundtracks Their Funerals

​ ​Of all the bands to emerge out of the Houston music puppy mill this year, none has been as steadfastly working class and punk rock as the American Heist. Rocks Off first spied the band opening up for Florida's Fake Problems in May. At the time they were still called Born Anchor, but a Seattle ... More >>

The Great East Texas Ten-Ton Oil Pump Heist

​On one hand, you have to tip your John Deere hat and salute this little feat of deep East Texas Redneck ingenuity and derring-do. On the other hand, you just have to wonder WTF they were thinking.The Web site of Jasper radio station KJAS picks up the tale: According to Jasper County Deputy Mike ... More >>

Reservoir Dogs

Quentin Tarantino was already at the top of his game with his debut film

The Lookout

Joseph Gordon-Levitt awes again in this character-driven theft thriller

Adventures in Flood Insurance

It's a Crime

Spike Lee's Inside Man plots the heist of your moviegoing dollars

Keira Get Your Gun

Domino chronicles the life of a model-turned-bounty hunter

Faker's Dozen

A rare superior sequel, Ocean's Twelve entertains with cinematic sleight of hand

Redemption Thong

Salma's shorts get top billing in an otherwise unwatchable caper

Dammit, Mamet!

Based on Spartan, it would seem the master of macho dialogue has lost his touch

College Bored

The Perfect Score adds a neat twist to the heist movie, then bungles it

Safe, Cracked

The Italian Job, a remake better than the original, is a steal

The French Conniption

Nick Nolte pulls off a twitchy Gallic heist

Fatale Detraction

Beyond cheap turn-ons, there's nothing to recommend Brian De Palma's latest

Botched Job

David Mamet plots and schemes, then blows his own Heist

Going, Going, Gone

Someone take the wheel, 'cause the filmmakers don't know where they're headed

Funny Money

Still trying to play the leading man, Newman's best - when he's acting his age

Hot Plate

Dripping with Irony

Hard Rain drowns the myth of small-town virtue

Jack Squat

Nicholson's latest falls far short of Five Easy Pieces

Getaway from Me

Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger sprout personalities to save an otherwise lackluster thriller