Greg Abbott

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2014

    Texas Was Hardly a "Battleground" Last Night

    Anyone hoping Texas' deep red days were behind us got a big fat wakeup call last night. The AP called the governor's race for Greg Abbott just an hour after the polls closed (not much of a surprise there), and as election results continued to trickle in, this much became clear: big, moneyed efforts ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 27, 2014

    Daily Show Comes To Texas This Week, Should Be Easy Pickins

    Good news, guys. Jon Stewart and The Daily Show will be making Texas the new (temporary) world news headquarters this week, just in time for midterm elections. In a segment they've dubbed "Democalypse: South by South Mess," Stewart will be in Austin from October 27 - 30, putting all of Texas' embar ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 17, 2014

    Greg Abbott Held a Twitter Townhall, and It Was Hilarious

    In his continued quest to win hearts and minds and, you know, the governor's seat, state Attorney General Greg Abbott held a Twitter town hall on Friday. Yes, for one brief, shining moment, Abbott (or someone that does a pretty good Abbott-on-social-media impression) was on the Twitter and people co ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 3, 2014

    Court Scolds Greg Abbott For Midnight Appeal on Abortion Ruling

    When Federal District Court Judge Lee Yeakel knocked down a key component of the Texas' tough new abortion law Friday, we all knew Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott would immediately appeal the ruling. Apparently we underestimated just how quickly Abbott could pull together his argument. While Abb ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 14, 2014

    Greg Abbott Threatens to Sue EPA...Again

    The past several years of Greg Abbott's political career have been one long, drawn-out pissing match with the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. For an avowed tort-reformer, our Attorney General-turned GOP candidate for governor sure loves a good lawsuit when the feds are in the crosshairs, famou ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 14, 2014

    The Five Most Repellent Things Ted Nugent Has Ever Done

    If your favorite gun store was out of ammo this morning, it's because Ted Nugent is back in town. The Motor City Madman rumbles into House of Blues tonight, and he's sure to bring the requisite shitload of guitar solos and flaming arrows with him. And hey, that's great -- at least it was, 40 years ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2014

    Greg Abbott's Spanish Campaign Ad Kicks Off General Election Campaign Ad Season

    Perhaps it was just a big coincidence that Republican gubernatorial candidate Greg Abbott then turned around and premiered his first campaign commercial on Tuesday and it was all in Spanish and set to first air during the Mexico-Brazil match of the World Cup. Maybe. It's a popular technique these da ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 6, 2014

    Corruption in Texas Is Like a Cockroach Infestation

    Everything is bigger in Texas and corruption is no exception. Fraud, bribery, exploitation and plain old dishonesty are getting to be like a severe Texas case of cockroaches. For every one you see in the daylight, there are 800 or so hiding in the darkness. Cockroaches prefer the darkness and they ... More >>

  • News

    March 20, 2014

    On Gender and Paychecks

    Greg Abbott's past court fight against equal pay.

  • News

    March 13, 2014

    Ready for Battle

    Wendy Davis and Texas Primary Results: What We Know Now.

  • Blogs

    March 13, 2014

    Greg Abbott's Past Court Fight Against Equal Pay

    Abbott World just can't seem to catch a break lately. It began Sunday with his dancing around the question of his support for the Texas Equal Pay Act and some very damaging evidence emerged earlier this week. State Senator Wendy Davis held a teleconference with Senator Sylvia Garcia and former TXU ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 5, 2014

    Wendy Davis and Texas Primary Results: What We Know Now

    Wendy Davis v. Greg Abbott. Let me take the suspense out of this race: Abbott will win in convincing fashion. As I've noted before, there are simply not enough women and minority voters in Texas who will support Davis such that she can win. Indeed, setting aside gender, there aren't enough white D ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 17, 2014

    Greg Abbott, The Nuge, and a Subhuman Mongrel Chimpanzee

    Listen up, and listen good: The Nuge has spoken. He has dubbed Barak Obama a "subhuman mongrel" and a "chimpanzee," and thereby exposed the entire Democratic party as the chimpanzee-lovers they clearly are. The Nuge ain't no chimp-lover. The Nuge doesn't fling feces. He only covers himself in it in ... More >>

  • News

    February 6, 2014

    Perfect Timing: How Malcontent Wiseasses Tried to Prove a Point About Politics and Ended up Charged as Felons

    White conservatives who tweaked an election in The Woodlands were just what Greg Abbott needed to prove he doesn’t prosecute only minorities for voter fraud.

  • News

    January 30, 2014

    'Plumbing' Problems

    Louie Gohmert makes his latest argument against gay marriage and it's a doozy.

  • Blogs

    January 21, 2014

    Money, Spin and the Texas Governor's Race: Wendy Davis Still Unlikely to Win

    Last week, Greg Abbott sent out an email to his supporters claiming that "Sen. Wendy Davis has raised $8.7 million from liberals in New York, California and Washington." Try as I might, I could not verify this claim. Indeed, the venerable conservative magazine National Review did not bother to fact ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 15, 2014

    Greg Abbott: Meet the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss

    If you have occasion to meet or see Greg Abbott, it's impossible not to notice that he is in a wheelchair. In a freak accident, a tree fell on him when he was 26 years old and rendered him a paraplegic. However, this has not stopped him from ascending the ranks of Texas politics and he is, presumab ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 20, 2013

    Greg Abbott Thanks 'Retard Barbie' Tweeter For Support, Learns Twitter Is Tricky

    State Attorney General Greg Abbott, who threw his hat in the ring for the governor's seat last month, has gone and insulted Wendy Davis on Twitter. Sort of. It turns out, as Abbott learned this weekend, a thank you tweet can also be an endorsement, and thus an insult. Abbott has drawn the ire of t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 15, 2013

    Advocacy Group: Will Abbott be Just Another Perry, Just With Worse Hair?

    Now that state Attorney General Greg Abbott has thrown his hat in the gubernatorial ring, the Texas Organizing Project, an advocacy group for low- and middle-income families, is worried that many families will still lack access to affordable health care. Abbott has "led the charge against the Affor ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 12, 2013

    Greg Abbott to Set For "Major Announcement" Sunday

    Members of Greg Abbott's campaign have confirmed that the attorney general, widely considered to be a favorite as Texas's next governor, is set for a "major announcement regarding his political future" on Sunday. The announcement will take place on Plaza Juarez in San Antonio at 1 p.m. -- one week a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 17, 2013

    Texas Attorney General Thinks Nuclear Annihilation of Austin Still Preferable to State Turning Blue

    There aren't terribly many things that can actually threaten Texas. Mexico hasn't put up much of a fight in nearly two centuries. We've sufficiently assimilated into the non-slave states from which we once broke. Global warming and environmental degradation may present some cause for concern, but, a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 7, 2013

    Greg Abbott's Awful "Gun 'n' Bible" Ad Gets an F in Grammar

    What was that old Warren Zevon song? "Send Bibles, Guns and Grammar"? No? Well, that or something along the lines of it should be sent to Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott, who caused a few jaws to drop with an ad he put on his Facebook page. The ad is mostly evidence that today's Web allows anyo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 14, 2013

    Texas Joins In $29 Million Settlement With Toyota Over Sudden Acceleration, AG Announces

    Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott announced today that Texans will be part of a $29 settlement with Toyota over its actions after claims that various models had sudden, unexplained accelerations that endangered drivers. Texas and 27 other states "investigated whether Toyota adequately and promptly ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 17, 2012

    The Bible Bandwagon's Getting Crowded: Rick Perry, Greg Abbott Grab A Piece Of The Kountze Limelight

    Don't worry, Jesus: You will not be fighting Your epic battle against Satan on the battlefields of Kountze High School alone. By Your side will be Governor Rick Perry and state Attorney General Greg Abbott, both of whom have somehow decided to intervene in a red-meat, hot-button issue sure to pleas ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2012

    AG Greg Abbott Can't Keep Himself Out Of The Kountze Cheerleader Bible Case

    In a development that really only has people asking "What took so long?" Texas attorney general Greg Abbott, ever eager to flail whatever red-meat rightwing issue that crosses his desk, has "offered assistance" to the good folks at the Kountze school district who have received a "menacing and mislea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 29, 2012

    AG Slaps The Texas Highway Patrol Museum For Defrauding Victims' Families

    Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott announced today he's settled an enforcement action against a noble-sounding fund-raising group that allegedly did not fulfill its promises to law-enforcement families. The Texas Highway Patrol Museum, which was never much of anything to begin with, has closed its ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 7, 2011

    Texas AG Greg Abbott Grabs The Spotlight In Fight Against EPA's Tailpipe-Emissions Rule

    Greg Abbott leads a mostly southern uprising​Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott wants everyone to know that he is doing everything he can to stop the federal Environmental Protection Agency from trying to implement greenhouse-gas limits on cars and trucks. In the latest of a series of lawsuit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 2, 2011

    Osama Bin Laden Mission: Rick Perry & Greg Abbott Weigh in Without Mentioning Obama

    Neither went so far as the New York Daily News.​The world has presumably been waiting breathlessly for the chance to know exactly what Governor Rick Perry and Attorney General Greg Abbott think about the death of Osama Bin Laden. The wait is over. Both politicos issued statements this morning ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 19, 2011

    Texas Publishes Their Social Security Numbers, Now Someone's Trying to Scam Them

    Just give 'em John Doe's number, he won't mind.​Attorney General Greg Abbott is warning any Texans whose Social Security numbers were inadvertently exposed by the state government to, ummm, not just hand out that info to anyone calling to try to "confirm" things. More than three million emplo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 15, 2011

    Japanese Disaster Relief: AG Warns Against Fake Charities

    Check before you give​Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott issued a warning today to anyone thinking of donating to Japanese earthquake relief: Be careful who you're giving to. "By doing a little research, well-meaning Texans can ensure their dollars actually help the recovery effort and aid vi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 2, 2011

    Duct Tape Holding Pollution Equipment Together: So Bad Even Texas AG Acts

    Greg Abbott goes after polluters!!! Take that, Obama!!​Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott took precious time off from suing the federal government to get it to stop forcing Texas to enforce Clean Air provisions in order to do a little Clean Air-ing of his own. Abbott's office charged Gulf Che ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 7, 2011

    Sexting: Parents to be Punished for Their Kids' Naughtiness if Bill Passes

    Sexting: The love song of the modern J. Alfred Prufrock​If you're the parent of a tween/teen who's dumb enough to sext, you've got enough problems. You don't need to add to them by being forced to attend a class on the whole thing. But according to a bill announced today by state Attorney Gen ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2011

    Texas Gay Divorce: Court Rules Against Abbott, But on Technical Terms

    Greg Abbott's attempt to grandstand is rejected​Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott intervened as fast as he could in a lesbian divorce case in Austin, but it wasn't fast enough, an appeals court has ruled. Abbott wanted to intervene in the suit because God knows if he didn't it would have led ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 6, 2010

    Greg Abbott Goes After Google. Next: Justin Bieber, Lindsay Lohan and Lady Gaga

    Lady Gaga: Greg Abbott will get to the bottom of this, even if it means headlines​Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott has gotten a lot of ink with his investigation into Google's search rankings.Abbott usually spends his time on right-wing causes like fighting the Obama health-care plan or battling ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2010

    Greg Abbott Blames Obama For Bullets Hitting El Paso's City Hall

    El Paso City Hall -- in the crosshairs, thanks to Obama​In the ever-escalating battle between Governor Rick Perry and Attorney General Greg Abbott to see who can put out the most shameless press releases exploiting the hot-button issue of "protecting our borders," today's A-for-effort goes to Abbo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 8, 2010

    Bally Fitness Tricked Ex-Members Into Renewing, AG Says

    They just really wanted ex-members back​Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott filed suit today claiming Bally Total Fitness had tricked former members into renewing contracts by sending them "past due" notices.More than 1,000 Texans were duped into renewing, Abbott said, after receiving the notices." ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 7, 2010

    You Get Promised Thousands Of Wild Hogs To Kill, You Get Tame Pigs Instead

    ​It may be difficult to believe that some internet advertising claims are exaggerated, but Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott insists such is the case in an action filed today. Worse, the victims of the alleged false claims are Texas hunters. It's almost sacreligious.All the hunters wanted to do w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 7, 2010

    You May Be Dead, But You Can Still Get A (Too Late) Pardon, Texas AG Rules

    ​Good news if you were wrongfully imprisoned by the state of Texas for a long, long time, but you then died before you could be pardoned -- and face it, in those circumstances you could use some good news -- state attorney general Greg Abbott ruled today that you can be pardoned posthumously!!Yay? ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 17, 2009

    Eight-Liner King Enters Guilty Plea

    ​A major operator of the 8-liner machines that are so popular (and illegal) around here and the rest of Texas has entered a guilty plea that will cost him over $1 million, state attorney general Greg Abbott announced today.Gordon Graves, the 72-year-old founder of Aces Wired, entered the plea in a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2009

    Houston Airport System Won't Release Salaries....Because Of National Security Issues

    A while back we wrote about the Houston Airport System exporting its vast knowledge of running airports to countries all over the place. HAS wasn't too forthcoming about the financial aspects of it all.A couple of months later, Mayor Bill White suddenly forced out the HAS director -- at least partly ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 25, 2009

    The AG Vs. Don McGill Toyota: Those Wily Salespeople

    Lesson Number One if you're dealing with Don McGill Toyota in West Houston, especially if you're not really fluent in English: Read all the fine print, even the parts where salespeople have folded the contract over so you can't see it.Texas AG Greg Abbott announced today a $78,000 settlement with th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 26, 2009

    You Weren't Cured Of Down Syndrome, But You Can Get A Refund

    Guess what? You can't take a pill with something called "glyconutrients" and cure Down Syndrome or cystic fibrosis.But if you're a Texan who thought you could, you can at least get your money back.Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott announced a settlement today against Mannatech, a company that offer ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 10, 2009

    Another Hotel Gets Slammed For Ike Price-Gouging

    Attorney General Greg Abbott has hit yet another hotel for price-gouging during Ike.This time it's the Sealy Rodeway Inn. And if you're going to be staying in lovely Sealy, in a lovely Rodeway Inn, why not be gouged while you're at it?Abbott's office says the hotel "charged evacuees a higher, 'speci ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 5, 2009

    Breaking News: Candy Bars Can't Cure Alzheimer's

    Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott announced this morning that he's charging a Fredericksburg company called Nature's Candy with violating the Texas Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act and the Texas Deceptive Trade Practices Act. (Woe to the person who violates the "cosmetic" part of the first act. Grandma ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 12, 2008

    From The Oakland A's To Texas' Biggest Deadbeat Dad -- The Pride of Brazoswood High

    Troy Neel, of Brazoswood High, had one good year in the majors: as an Oakland A, he batted .290 in 1993.So he was never an All-Star. Today he earned a new title: The newly arrested Biggest Deadbeat Dad in Texas.Attorney General Greg Abbott's office announced that Neel was arrested yesterday at LA In ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 5, 2008

    At Least A Little Payback Against A-Hole Debt Collectors

    If you've ever been harassed by a debt collector, deserved or not, Texas AG Greg Abbott has just stood up for you (As Joe Biden might put it, since Abbott's in a wheelchair).Abbott's office announced a settlement this morning against NCO Financial Systems, one of the world's biggest debt-collection ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 17, 2008

    A Different Kind Of Traffic Problem For Houston

    Harris County, be proud -- you're a leader in...well, in human trafficking. Maybe you shouldn't be so proud, on second thought. Texas AG Greg Abbott released a lengthy report today on human trafficking in Texas, and the news isn't too good. Up to 17,500 people are brought into the US as victims of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 11, 2008

    Houston's Darque Tan, Leading The Fight Against Cancer

    Here's some news you can use, assuming you believe the word of Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott -- tanning beds don't prevent cancer. Abbott filed an injunction Monday against Houston-based Darque Tan (here's a copy of it) accusing it of false advertising. False advertising? For the kind of peop ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 2, 2008

    AG Says Two Motels Gouged Ike Victims

    Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott has brought the hammer down on two motels he says gouged Ike evacuees. The Super 8 Brookshire Motel near Katy and the Hotel Nacogdoches were named as gougers. The Hotel Nacogdoches typically charges $49 for a room, the Ag's office said; two days before Ike that we ... More >>

  • News

    August 7, 2003

    Tale of Two Cities

    Kid-Care's former leader says the attorney general is playing favorites

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