Homer Simpson

Blame St. Louis and Trade Brad Lidge

Mint Condition

Reinventing Hanukkah with Jones Soda

The Pizza and Ranch Dressing Rebellion

Press Picks

Press Picks

Christmas Treats

The holiday brings forth some old chestnuts, a few of them tasty

Gabriel Iglesias

This big man gets some big laughs

This Week's Day-by-Day Picks

This big man gets some big laughs

The Simpsons Movie

Breathe easy, Simpsons fans

Glazed Tracks

This sweet party is Dee place to be

Hairspray

Movie musical of the musical of the movie is nowhere near divine

Roll Aid

It's an all-day skate-apalooza at the Texas Skate Jam

Playbill

It's an all-day skate-apalooza at the Texas Skate Jam

Big Fat Greek Bloodletting

Brad's ripped and The Iliad's shredded in the scintillating spectacle Troy

Cyndi Lauper

Sunday, April 25

We Want the Funk

Cecil's Tavern rises from the ashes with a new look

Dinner and Darts

The Rivendell Bar & Grille

Shearer Delight

The voice of Flanders is the voice of reason, absatively posilutely

ACL Fest Preview: Five Outdoor Music Festivals That Could Have Gone a Lot Better

The 2009 Austin City Limits Festival kicks off Friday, and many of you are no doubt devising parking strategies and grappling with various permutations of 'How will I make it from the [a] set at [b] stage in time to catch [x]'s set at the [y] stage?' It's a serious dilemma, as ACL always puts toget ... More >>

Whirlwind Weekend: See What You Missed

Halloween weekend was cause for much merriment and mischief making. Whether at Rich's or the Roxy, the House of Blues or the streets of Montrose, a cosplay convention or an erotic ball, fun was found all over the city this weekend. Check out our favorite photos below. Photo by Son Lam​The hu ... More >>

He Said She Said: Our 10 Favorite Fictional Bands

​ It's a sad state of affairs when a parody band ends up being funnier/better/more entertaining that the original (we're lookin' at you, The Beatles). She Said started thinking of this list last week after making one in a million lifetime references to the fake band Blues Hammer from the movie Gho ... More >>

Five Ways To Tell If You're Talking To A Dude In A Cheap Austin Motel, And Not To A Supermodel

​The Los Angeles Times had a report out today on a Texas guy whose story we had somehow missed: Using a "high-pitched voice" on the phone, he had somehow convinced rich guys that he was Bree Condon, who, the article informed us, is "a successful model and aspiring actress who'd done a Guess jeans ... More >>

More Tats = More Deviance?

Texas Tech studies body ink and social deviance.

Six Canisters Of Radioactive Material Vanish From Truck's Toolbox In Valley Wal-Mart Heist

​A car burglar at the Wal-Mart in Alice swiped a little more than they bargained for last Friday. An unknown person broke into a pick-up truck belonging to ProTechnics, a Houston-based oil and gas exploration company. In the truck's toolbox the alleged thief found a clear plastic bag containi ... More >>

For The National Day Of Prayer: Five Invocations For (Almost) Any Occasion

If nothing else, pray for poor shrinking Alaska.​The good news is, President Obama didn't cancel the National Day of Prayer, as was alleged by e-mails sent by a few of my dimmer relations over the last few years. The bad news is, it's still pretty goddamned hard to find an appropriate bit of Scrip ... More >>

Girls Gone Wild At Scout Bar: A Mostly Boobless Bust (NSFW)

Photo and videos by Matthew KeeverSadly (or not), this is about as sexy as Girls Gone Wild got at Scout Bar Saturday.​As Rocks Off pulled into Scout Bar's parking lot at 8:30 on Saturday night, we saw a large Girls Gone Wild tour bus with some poor guy's daughter's 20-foot image plastered on t ... More >>

Homer No Function Beer Well Without: Geeks Who Drink Present an All-Simpsons Pub Trivia Night

​Homer Simpson and beer are virtually inseparable. Just take a look at some of his finer quotes on the malty beverage: There are endless pages of them. It's fitting therefore that the Geeks Who Drink host an annual Yellow Fever night, an all-Simpsons pub trivia challenge. On August 18 at Taps ... More >>

Food Fight: Battle Éclair

Photos by Ruthie JohnsonThierry André Tellier Café's version on the left, French Riviera Bakery's on the right. ​Someone once said that an éclair is "a cake long in shape, but short in duration," and with him I have to agree. I have always loved this treat, with its pillowy pastry and smoot ... More >>

Geeks Who Drink: Yellow Fever - The All-Simpsons Quiz

Bart Battalion, Get Ready, Go!

Cathy Comic Ending, Creating Crisis In Refrigerator-Magnet Industry

Oh no, bikini season is around the corner!!​Cathy Guisewite has announced she will no longer be doing the comic strip Cathy. Yes, the comic strip Cathy was still around. There are several horrifying ramifications from this announcement: 1. Refrigerator doors of certain types of single women acro ... More >>

Upcoming Events

The patron saint of food nerds come to Houston.​Do you have your tickets ready to see Anthony Bourdain this Monday night at Jones Hall? I certainly hope so, because the event is sold out. But don't fret; more celebrity chefs are on their way to Houston in coming months. Alton Brown, the origi ... More >>

Les Miles for President (Also, 5 Winners and 5 Losers From This Weekend)

Everyone's talking about Les Miles, and not in a good way​"In the game of life nobody -- repeat, NOBODY -- is playing with more house money than Les Miles." -- Me on Twitter just after LSU's 16-14 win over Tennessee As Homer Simpson would say, it's funny because it's true. The truly funny th ... More >>

5 Lame Food-Themed Halloween Costumes to Avoid

Look, if you don't have the balls to just go topless and rock actual nipple pasties, then don't even bother.​Halloween is a time for creativity. It's the one time of year when you get to be someone else for a night, so you should make your alternate identity a good one. Put some thought into i ... More >>

The Ballad Of Randy Quaid

Hopefully he learned a few tricks in Midnight Express.​Americans, as a people, are fascinated by stories of outlaws. English bandit Robin Hood has been dead for 500 years (give or take) and they're still making crappy movies about him. And the Old West remains a fertile ground for tales of rom ... More >>

Cover Story: K2 Ban Comes As Our Story Goes To Press, And We Are Kinda Happy

K2: We test-drove before the ban​I have to say, I kind of wondered when the Drug Enforcement Agency was going to crack down on K-2 and other THC-simulating substances. What's more, although I am pretty Libertarian when it comes to drugs, I was relieved. It was easy to predict the DEA ban for ... More >>

SexBeerandMoney.com -- The Ten Most Expensive Domain Names

You'd be CRAZY not to want in on one of these domain names!​There was a time when a million bucks was a lot of money for a domain name. That's exactly what Cool.com went for back in 2000. Today, that's chump change when you are talking about the most expensive domain names on the Web. Keep in ... More >>

Gourdough's in Austin

​Homer Simpson and I have two things in common. First, we have both been exposed to above-average levels of nuclear radiation (he from working at the Springfield Power Plant, and me from having grown up very close to Three-Mile Island). Second, we both really, really like donuts. I've often ... More >>

Super Bowl Cuisine: The "Roethlisburger"

www.thepittsburgtastebuds.com​For the Steelers fan looking to serve themed fare this Superbowl Sunday, I suggest skipping the wings and pizza. Instead, take a cue from sandwich shop Peppi's and construct your own "Roethlisburger" in honor of Pittsburgh's famed (okay, notorious) quarterback. W ... More >>

Colin Firth for Best Actor? Not So Fast.

​I realize the actual Academy Awards aren't set to be broadcast until Sunday night, when millions of people will watch -- for the first hour, at least -- as co-hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway lob Nerfball zingers at their fellow actors, make passively tasteless jokes about speech impedime ... More >>

Last Night: John Mellencamp At Jones Hall

Photos by Marc Brubaker​John Mellencamp Jones Hall April 3, 2011 See pics of a dapper-looking John Mellencamp on stage in our slideshow. Don't call him Cougar. John Mellencamp has been trying to live down that record label-foisted moniker for over 30 years, ditching it entirely in 1990 and ... More >>

James Taylor

Photos by Marc Brubaker​John Mellencamp Jones Hall April 3, 2011 See pics of a dapper-looking John Mellencamp on stage in our slideshow. Don't call him Cougar. John Mellencamp has been trying to live down that record label-foisted moniker for over 30 years, ditching it entirely in 1990 and ... More >>

Happy National Donut Day: Sexy Pictures Of Donuts (NSFW?)

​There are bear claws, crullers, holes, cream-filled, jelly-filled, donut-fillled, fritters, maple bars, chocolate twists, and long johns in the universe of donuts, with countless other varieties remaining to be created by bakers bent on sending us all to early graves. Today is National Donu ... More >>

Doctor Challenges Mayor Parker to Become Vegan, As If She's Not Busy With Anything Else

More, Parker. More.​Hey, Mayor Parker! Drop those bacon-wrapped Cheetos. In fact, drop everything, and become a vegan. You're not doing anything else, are you? So supposes Dr. Neal Barnard, a nutritionist who's coming all the way from D.C. to fix Houston's lardy lifestyle with legumes. As p ... More >>

Christy's: A Mom-'n-Pop Donut Shop

Photo by John SuhHomer Simpson's heaven​Nestled at the edge of the River Oaks and Montrose neighborhoods for as long as I can remember, Christy's Donuts is a small, independently owned shop selling typical breakfast goods: donuts, croissants, and kolaches. I've stopped by on occasion to grab ... More >>

Of Ghost Peppers and Cristal: The Dudebro as Self-Parody

The video above was making the rounds on the Internet earlier this week under such headlines as "Dudebro chugs entire bottle of Cristal." I was recovering from a bout of food poisoning on Monday and couldn't bring myself to watch something so intentionally nauseating, so I didn't view the video in ... More >>

Crazy Times: 5 Festivals That Need DVD/Blu-Ray Box Sets

​Music festivals have played an indefinite part of pop culture history. From the various Woodstock festivals, Us Festivals, and even Lollapalooza - they have played a part in defining their generations. Unfortunately some of these amazing festivals have only seen the light of day in the form ... More >>