Houston Astros

  • Blogs

    November 25, 2014

    Setting New Standards in Stupid: The 2014 Turkeys of the Year

    Albert Einstein once said that the only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. Obviously Einstein didn't factor the Turkey of the Year, a creature with a seemingly infinite capacity for senseless, ludicrous and ill-advised decisions, into the equation. This has been ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 17, 2014

    Astros Contemplating Ball Park Changes

    The Astros announced a couple of weeks ago that they're considering possible changes to Minute Maid Park. Changes such as finally bulldozing that monstrosity known as Tal's Hill, providing more high-end food options, and moving the bullpens. And there's also a discussion about starting an Astros Hal ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 24, 2014

    College and Pro Football: This Weekend's Best Bets

    Before we get to the Best Bets for the week, I'll use this space (and perhaps a lengthier column in the future) to salute the recently laid off employees at the soon-to-be-sold-and-renamed-and-lobotomized Comcast Sports Net Houston. As you all are probably aware, painfully so if you're a non-Comca ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 13, 2014

    9 Reasons Fall in Houston is Awesome

    Fall in Houston is not exactly like other parts of the country. We don't get the same kind of foliage color changes. We don't really need layered clothing -- though you'll still find people doing it anyway -- but you'd be hard pressed to find a nicer place to be after October 1. But, it is more than ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 9, 2014

    Dear Chandler Parsons: You Are Officially Dead to Us

    There are lots of things we can forgive in this world. Take Andy Pettitte. He did what many players allegedly did during the "steroid era" in baseball. He took performance enhancing drugs to make himself better or stronger, or to heal from injury quicker. In short, he cheated the system. Of course, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2014

    The Chron's Evan Drellich Does a Great Job With a Tough Beat

    I remember a Astros game from way back in the early 1990s, back when the team was really bad, but rebuilding. I don't remember the exact year, or the exact day beyond it being a midweek day game against the Montreal Expos (I think it's this game). The Dome was empty and lifeless, and the game wasn't ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 12, 2014

    When It Comes To The Astros, Reporting The News Doesn't Mean Forcing A Negative Narrative

    It appears the Astros will win 70-plus games this season. It appears the Astros won't finish with the worst record in Major League Baseball for the fourth season in a row. It's possible that Jose Altuve will be the MLB batting champ and that Chris Carter will the MLB home run champ. The starting pit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 15, 2014

    Are The Astros Planning Front Office Changes?

    Is the job of Astros GM Jeff Luhnow in danger? Probably not. The Astros are on a current pace that will have them lose less than a 100 games this, so that's progress. The team probably won't get the first pick in the amateur draft this season -- thank you for reaching new levels of suckiness Rockies ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 7, 2014

    Know Your Neighborhood Gangbangers by Their Tattoos

    It's a fine line between striking fear into the hearts of your enemies and signing a confession of criminal activity on your face. But in a fast-paced city like Houston with little patience for extensive introductions, some large Gothic letters on your forehead could save everybody a bit of time and ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2014

    MLB Trade Deadline: Fake Trades Overshadow Real Trades

    If you live in Houston, there's a decent chance you didn't notice that the MLB trade deadline yesterday was pretty damn awesome. With 12 trades involving a total of 37 players, with the defending World Champions among the key sellers, with the Oakland A's looking to corner the market on starting pi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 25, 2014

    Just How Houston Are You? Sports Edition

    There was one of those stupid Twitter hashtags things about Houston this week, this one showing just how much of a Houstonian a person really is. I'm tired of writing about the depressing antics of the Houston Astros and CSN Houston, and I had to miss this week's CUSA Football Media Day in Dallas be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 21, 2014

    Just When You Think Things Can't Get Worse For The Astros, They Prove You Wrong

    Elmore Leonard's novels are full of guys and girls who think they're smarter than everybody else. Crooks, con men, and cops who know better than their rivals. Who have figured out all of the angles. They're arrogant about this genius, bragging to anyone who'll listen about just how damn smart they a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 18, 2014

    Houston Astros: Three Things to Watch in the Second Half of the Season

    The Astros return to action out of the All Star break tonight, journeying to Chicago to take on the Chicago White Sox. The Astros record has improved from last year, and the team has not been as bad as it has been in years past. Though the team's been so damn bad in years past that just about anythi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 14, 2014

    Astros, Number One Pick at Odds Over Bonus, Alleged Injury

    George Springer got the cover of last month's Sports Illustrated story on the Houston Astros. But the actual story was less about Springer than it was about how lessons learned by a blackjack dealer can be applied to building a baseball team. And a large portion of the story was set in the Astros dr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 7, 2014

    The Future is Just Over the Horizon: A Little Patience for These Astros

    This could sound a bit familiar. A respected national sports magazine does a feature on a woebegone baseball team. The team's coming back from the depths. The farm system's been rebuilt and is now the best in baseball after having invested huge amounts of time and money. The GM was hired after havin ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 1, 2014

    Six Things We Learned From the Leaked Astros Internal Notes

    Hacked computers, Internet leaks, FBI intervention. These are things normally reserved for a season of 24, not late June in the Major League Baseball season. However, on Monday afternoon, the story at Minute Maid Park had nothing to do with the baseball game set to take place that night against the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2014

    Is the Astros Magical Mystery Tour About to Go All Helter Skelter?

    The last true collaboration of John Lennon and Paul McCartney (writing together and harmonizing on vocals) was "I've Got A Feeling" off of "Let It Be," which would turn out to be The Beatles last album. The start of the song's written by McCartney, an ode to the soon to be Linda McCartney. Lennon h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 27, 2014

    Dear Sports Illustrated: Any Prediction as to When CSN Houston Will Get On Our TVs?

    The Houston Astros are on the cover of this week's Sports Illustrated. The photo's not a joke; neither is the story. The story goes into the radical rebuild of the club and the magazine makes the bold prediction that the Astros will win the 2017 World Series. And who knows, if the Astros really get ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 19, 2014

    Beginning Next Week, Getting Into an Astros Game Will Take Just a Little Bit More Time

    The one thing we're hoping when we pass through Minute Maid Park's new metal detectors next week is that we don't have to take off our belts. The ballpark announced this week that they would be implementing Major League Baseball's enhanced security measure (a measure that'll be mandatory next year ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 16, 2014

    Houston Still Loves Hoes

    Houston still loves LJ Hoes. Or at least Houston loves the Astro outfielder's last name. Even after Hoes got optioned down to the Astros' Triple-A affiliate in Oklahoma City in late May, baseball themed shirts reading, "Houston Loves Hoes" are still selling. "I haven't been promoting it a lot," sa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 5, 2014

    Sixteen Hard-to-Spell Words That Houstonians Know

    Words are tricky. Not everything is spelled phonetically. Unique spellings just add a special character to a place, in a way, these are our words. Sometimes, the only way to learn how to spell words is by seeing them enough. We decided to think up a list of things only Houstonians know how to spel ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 4, 2014

    Who's Got The Best Shot at CSN Houston: NBC Sports Group, AT&T, or Fox Sports?

    It's been a little over three months since Judge Marvin Isgur put CSN Houston into bankruptcy. It's been nearly three months since the Houston Astros appealed that ruling to Judge Lynn Hughes. Judge Hughes has received the parties briefs on the bankruptcy ruling, and he's attempted multiple times to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 3, 2014

    Singleton Gets Promotion and New Contract From Astros

    A promotion and up to $35 million dollars? It's not a bad day to be Jon Singleton. The Astros have called up their hard-hitting first baseman, who will be available today against the Los Angeles Angels, the Houston Chronicle reports. To top it off, according to Yahoo!, Singleton, 23, has agreed to ... More >>

  • News

    May 29, 2014

    USDA, PETA Go After Dude Whose Primate Hit Great Day Houston Host

    They claim Brian Staples is bad at the monkey business.

  • Blogs

    May 27, 2014

    Has Anyone Seen Former Astro Hunter Pence's Stolen Scooter?

    I realize that on the list of uplifting activities, "following former Astros" ranks somewhere between explosive diarrhea and Faces of Death 13. Life hasn't been easy since we lost our Major League Baseball team in Houston a few years ago, and when you lose something you love, seeking out the "wher ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 22, 2014

    How the CSN Houston Broadcast Map Dooms the Network

    It was just a little over 30 days ago that Houston Astros owner Jim Crane said he wanted the CSN Houston matter settled within 30 days. That didn't happen. The parties still await a ruling from a Judge Lynn Hughes on the Astros appeal of Judge Marvin Isgur's ruling that put the network into bankrup ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 13, 2014

    Astros Get Into Throwback Mode for Civil Rights Game

    Houston gets to play host to this year's Civil Rights Game, in a year that marks the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the 60th anniversary of Brown v. Board of Education. This is only the eighth time that Major League Baseball has held the throwback-style game, in which teams ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 8, 2014

    Not Too Thrilled With The Astros? (Is Anybody?)

    Is it already time to write off this season?The Houston Chronicle had a major revelation Wednesday: the folks running the Houston Astros might not know what they're talking about. Beat writer Evan Drellich doesn't quite state it that way, of course. But his paywalled story is a thing of beauty, rev ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 2, 2014

    So What Happens to The Astros If They Lose Their Fans?

    A friend from out-of-town was in Houston on Wednesday. He wanted to watch the Minnesota Wild in game seven versus Colorado. I wanted to watch the Rockets. So I found a sports bar where we could watch both, and arrived early to get a booth so I could get near TVs showing both games. Arriving early, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 28, 2014

    Are the Astros' Mad Scientist Experiments Going Too Far?

    The Houston Astros are like a grand science experiment. The mad scientist in charge of this grand experiment is general manager Jeff Luhnow. It's year three of this great experiment, an experiment that's seen the major league roster blown to bits and the farm system rebuilt. But is this grand exper ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 23, 2014

    Survey: Astros Have the Worst Fan Loyalty in Baseball

    We're not Astros-bashing, but dead last? That's how Brand Keys, New York-based brand consultancy firm ranked the team's fan loyalty. Of course, if consistency means anything, this is the Astro's second year in the dead-last spot, after falling from 23rd in 2012. No love here. According to the comp ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 21, 2014

    Yes, the Astros Are Bad and Not Getting Any Better

    The Astros have only played 19 games, leaving 143 more to go. It's too early to write off the season. But the team's 5-14 and has lost seven straight games, been swept in the past two series, and has just won three of its last 10 games. And while it's still early, it does need to be noted that, at t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 18, 2014

    Astros Baseball: Player Name Mispellings, Team Misgivings

    Much hyped Astros super-phenom George Springer made his major league debut Wednesday night. His big league promotion became known Tuesday night, and Astros fans greeted Wednesday with the same glee Buddy the Elf greeted the fake Santa at Gimbels. Sure the Astros lost Springer's debut game, but final ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 14, 2014

    Does No Progress in CSN Houston Mediation Effort Really Mean No Progress?

    The Houston Astros, Houston Rockets, and Comcast gathered before federal district court judge Lynn Hughes on Friday. This wasn't a hearing, and no judicial orders were handed down. It was, instead, the third mediation session for the parties within the past several weeks. The dispute under mediation ... More >>

  • Music

    April 10, 2014

    The Astros Need New Music, Wu-Tang Clan Doesn't

    Baseball music, comeback albums, and local talent buyer says goodbye.

  • Blogs

    April 9, 2014

    This Week In Food Blogs: Make Czech Kolaches At Home

    Texas Monthly: Seriously, what kind of Texan doesn't love kolaches? While we have some awesome places to grab an authentic Czech kolache in Houston (think Revival Market), it's always fun to make your own. Texas Monthly shares a recipe from the Little Czech Bakery in West, Texas, complete with an ap ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 7, 2014

    Lance Berkman, Roy Oswalt Retirement Ceremony at Minute Maid Park

    It was more than just a game. At least that was the message emblazoned across the jumbotron at Minute Maid Park Saturday night as the Houston Astros hosted Albert Pujols and the rest of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. It was a game where two of the most beloved and successful baseball players thi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 2, 2014

    Astros and Yankees Opening Day (Photos)

    Yesterday was the beginning of another baseball season. For lovers of the game, there are two words that jumpstart the heart and clean the slate for another long, hopefully successful year: Opening Day.

  • Blogs

    April 1, 2014

    10 Songs We'd Like to Hear at Astros Games This Season

    Last year's Houston Astros were beyond bad, the second-worst season ever by a franchise n Major League Baseball's recorded history. That should give you this blog's frame of reference, which will be long on hope and short on snark. If you want to read a bunch of shitty comments about how bad the tea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 31, 2014

    Welcome to the New Normal: Where Houston Sports Fans Can't Actually See Teams Play

    The Houston Astros host the New York Yankees tomorrow night. It's Opening Day, the team's second as a member of the American League. The game will be aired on CSN Houston for anybody unwilling to pay the exorbitant prices brought on by the Astros' dynamic pricing model. That means that most of the H ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 27, 2014

    For Sanity's Sake, Just Say No to the Astros

    The 2014 Houston Astros open up the regular season next week, and I don't give a damn. Seriously, that's a hard admission to make because I love baseball. But I can't even begin to muster any enthusiasm for the band of rejects (mostly) that will trot out onto the Minute Maid Park grass next week and ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 13, 2014

    Despite the Astros Legal Claims, More Money's Not the Key to Competing With Texas

    I've read way too much of the legal documentation generated in the Astros/CSN Houston bankruptcy litigation. And I'm not much in the mood to rehash what I've read -- I also assume you're pretty tired of reading about it, too. But I did recently see a new argument generated by the Astros attorneys th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 10, 2014

    CSN Houston Owners Actually Agreed on Something

    The good news is that the Houston Astros, Houston Rockets, and Comcast finally found something on which to agree. The bad news is that the agreement's on how much the attorneys handling the bankruptcy of Comcast SportsNet Houston should be paid. The parties are still battling things out in court, t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 21, 2014

    Best Baseball at Minute Maid Park in 2014: Annual College Classic Next Week

    I want to take a pause from my usual Houston Astros bashing so that I might applaud an event they stage every year. It's time once again for the Houston College Classic, six college baseball teams invading Minute Maid Park for nine games in three days. For only the second time in its history, th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 17, 2014

    With a Little Patience, Maybe the Astros Can Make Out Like Bandits on CSN Houston

    It's easy to say that Jim Crane and the Houston Astros should just agree to any deal that Comcast or the Rockets put in front of them regarding CSN Houston carriage. The only concern of most fans is that the games get on television. Nothing else matters. And the truth of the matter is, making sure t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 13, 2014

    Judge Marvin Isgur Treated The Astros Like Nolan Ryan Treated Robin Ventura

    While most of the city's attention Tuesday afternoon (and that of the local sports media) was centered on Nolan Ryan's return to the Houston Astros, on the other side of downtown Houston the asses of the Houston Astros bankruptcy attorneys were being handed to them by Judge Marvin Isgur. And while t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 13, 2014

    The Next Great Winter Olympic Training Ground: The Astrodome

    When Judge Roy Hofeinz conceived of a indoor stadium, he was doing so as a true Houstonian. Despite pleadings from health care providers and forward-thinking politicians, Houston is not really an outdoorsy city. That has changed somewhat with the construction of hike and bike trails, the massive ren ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 12, 2014

    Nolan Ryan May Not Fix the 'Stros, But It's Something

    When Reid Ryan signed on as the CEO for the Astros last year, it seemed a foregone conclusion his father, Hall of Famer Nolan Ryan, who had held the same job as his son but for division rival Texas Rangers, would join the Houston ball club eventually. That day came on Tuesday as the elder Ryan agree ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 10, 2014

    Astros Bankruptcy Appeal Won't Get CSN Houston On TV Any Sooner

    Bankruptcy judge Marvin Isgur commands respect. Not because he's a judge, but because of his understanding of bankruptcy law. He's respected by attorneys who appear before him. He's respected by his fellow judges. This is important to know because the Houston Astros have appealed his ruling putting ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 7, 2014

    CSN Houston, Bankruptcy, and Why The Rockets Aren't Just Innocent Victims

    Odds are that if you've flown an airline in the past decade you've flown on an airline going through Chapter 11 bankruptcy. This is the popular bankruptcy, one that lets the airline stay in business and keep flying while attempting to come up with a profitable business plan. You're also probably wel ... More >>

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