Subject:

Houston Texans

  • Blogs

    December 13, 2013

    BATTLE-DRINK: The Interim Wade Phillips Era Begins!

    After a ten day hiatus where the Texans managed to fulfill their weekly drama quota by firing their head coach, it's back to the gridiron on Sunday as the Texans take on the Indianapolis Colts in Indy, where the team still seeks its first win in franchise history at that venue. I don't know if I ca ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 13, 2013

    This Weekend's Best Bets: "Texans New Head Coach" Odds Are Out!

    Before the 2013 NFL season started, you could get odds on which head coach would be the first one fired this season. (I have no idea what it must feel like to have people betting on your employment status, but it's not for me to be the moral compass of wagering. The odds are out there, and therefore ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 11, 2013

    12 Things In Houston '93 You'd NEVER See Today

    If I learned anything from the NFL Network's A Football Life: Houston '93 documentary about the 1993 Houston Oilers, it's that sometimes you need to look to the past to realize that our perspective of the present may be a tad warped. All season long here in Houston, the narrative (which has gradual ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2013

    Jadeveon Clowney Gets Speeding Ticket, Texans' NFL Draft Big Board Thrown Into Disarray

    For a seemingly benign Thursday night game in early December between two bottom feeding NFL teams, the Texans-Jaguars game last week wound up having some far reaching ramifications. First, the end result (and certainly the penalty littered path leading up to that end result) was the trigger event f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 9, 2013

    Zapruder Analysis Of Bob McNair's Press Conference To Address The Firing Of Gary Kubiak

    We all knew that Gary Kubiak's firing was coming eventually, but very clearly we didn't all know when it was coming, because the assumption was that Texans owner Bob McNair would wait until after the season to drop the news on Kubiak that his services would no longer be required. Instead, on the h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 6, 2013

    Jags 27, Texans 20: So Close and Yet So Schaub

    In what has got to have been one of the worst match ups in the history of Thursday Night Football, an already God awful concept the NFL concocted to keep fans interested in the middle of the week, the Texans and Jaguars -- arguably the league's two worst teams (and franchises?) -- played a fairly en ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 6, 2013

    Let the House Cleaning Begin: Gary Kubiak Fired By the Texans

    You knew it was only a matter of time, but after 11 straight losses (including 2 to the Jacksonville Jaguars) the Texans finally pulled the trigger and fired Gary Kubiak. In the meantime, Wade Phillips will serve as interim head coach. The Texans say the search for a new permanent coach is already u ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 5, 2013

    BATTLE-DRINK, Week 14: Thursday Night Self Mutilation Edition

    In Houston Texans seasons past, the running joke was that each season would have around two or three [sarcastic exaggeration font enabled] "biggest games in the history of the team." Hell, even 2013 had a couple of them early in the season with the home loss to Seattle and the road thrashing at the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 4, 2013

    The Houston Texans Are Not (Mathematically) Dead Yet!

    Are you ready for two semi-obscure, "guilty pleasure" television references in one day? I hope so. Earlier today, as you may have read, in what I'm sure sent the Pulitzer folks scrambling to reevaluate 2013, I compared Rex Ryan and Ed Reed to Lowell Mather and Big Strong Man, respectively, from the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2013

    We Suck Again! A Revised Houston Texans Tailgating Mix

    Back in the summer, I advocated for new, improved songs that Houston Texans fans could play at their 2013 tailgates. My suggestions were optimistic, confident selections reflective of the high hopes we had for the team. Now, on the verge of the worst season in franchise history, it might be time to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2013

    Patriots-Texans Epilogue: How To Lose A Game In 10 Plays

    It's often said the difference between a 6-10 and 10-6 team in the NFL is a small handful of plays. Sitting at 2-10 on the season, the Houston Texans' problems certainly transcend more than just a play here and a play there. That much is obvious. But at 2-7 in games decided by one score or less, th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 2, 2013

    Patriots 34, Texans 31: The Harder They Fight, the Harder They Fall

    There is only one kind of victory in football, the kind that finds you ahead on the score board when the game is over. In the Texans latest loss to the Patriots, 34-31 on Sunday at Reliant Stadium, there seemed to be progress, but the result was the same as the Texans dropped their 10th straight gam ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 2, 2013

    The Houston Texans Are On The Clock...

    "The Houston Texans are on the clock..." -- Roger Goodell, as of now, at the beginning of the 2014 NFL Draft It begins not long after the previous season ends. The countless hours spent lifting weights, getting treatment, sometimes even getting surgery. You workout to just to be ready for more wor ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 29, 2013

    This Weekend's Best Bets: A Story Of The Worst Sibling Ever

    It happens for many families at Thanksgiving. What, on paper, looks like it should be a time to enjoy the company of relatives, maybe even reconnect with those you've lost touch with, turns into old wounds torn open. Fights, arguments, and an airing of grievances that would make Frank Costanza pro ... More >>

  • News

    November 28, 2013

    2013 Turkeys of the Year — Looking Back at the Best of the Worst

    From politics to sports to education and food, the Texas gobblers provided pure gravy.

  • Blogs

    November 26, 2013

    Kevin Sumlin and the Texans: Buyer Beware

    Texas A&M's Kevin Sumlin may one day be a great NFL coach. He's a strong leader with an innovative offense, glowing personality and enormous local buzz -- all at only 49 years old. It's easy to see where the hype comes from. There's also the concern, however, that Sumlin isn't even among the curre ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 26, 2013

    How Much Would A 9-Game Parlay Betting Against The Texans Pay?

    There's no denying it. Any way you slice it, it's been a horrible season of football here in the city of Houston. The Texans have lost nine in a row, falling to 2-9, and they've scored as many touchdowns in the second half of games during these nine games as Patriots wide receiver Julian Edelman di ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 25, 2013

    Jags 13, Texans 6: The Chase for No. 1 Begins

    As the clock ran out on the ninth loss in a row, perhaps the most embarrassing loss in franchise history and the clear metaphorical (if not actual) end to a miserable season for the Texans, one thing became crystal clear: it's time for the Texans to pack it in. What started as a hopeful run to the p ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 25, 2013

    With the Texans At Rock Bottom, It's Time To Clean House, Bob.

    "We suck." -- Andre Johnson, Texans wide receiver And with those two words, Andre Johnson proved himself to be the most lucid and honest voice that matters inside the entire Texans football operations hierarchy. We suck. Indeed. You thought four straight games with a pick six from your starting ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 22, 2013

    Dear Fans, Please Don't Boo The Texans Because They're Sensitive Little Children

    Ben Tate and Owen Daniels are upset the fans booed the Texans on Sunday. The offensive players didn't like that they had to go to a silent count on offense because of crowd anger. The fans should always be quiet and supportive, others say. Some of the thinking is that Texans fans are stupid. That ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 21, 2013

    Texan Fans Rejoice! CBS' Dan Dierdorf To Retire At Season's End

    Rare is the Texans home game that I am not in attendance in person at Reliant Stadium. In seven seasons of covering the team, I can count on one hand how many games I've missed and had to watch on television instead, and I believe the most recent one was the Texans 43-13 win over what eventually b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 19, 2013

    Zapruder Analysis Of This Snapshot Of A Forlorn Texans Sideline On Sunday

    "Their faces tell you everything." -- Mike McD, Rounders The Texans futility in the second half of games during this eight game losing streak has been well documented. Two touchdowns in eight halves of football (47 possessions in all), it really doesn't get much more meager than that. How are the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 18, 2013

    Raiders 28, Texans 23: What the Schaub?

    About 20 minutes after the Texans game ended, a good friend of mine left a message on my voicemail explaining how angry she was at the team. If you listen to call-in shows or watch Twitter or listen to fans in the stadium, you would see she is not alone. In what will undoubtedly be one of the most ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2013

    BATTLE-DRINK, Week 11: DeAndre Hopkins' Weenie Roast

    In last week's BATTLE-DRINK post, I wrote the following: As we head into Week 10 with the Texans taking on the Arizona Cardinals, all of a sudden we have squares devoted to Gary Kubiak's health, the jumbled running back roster, a quarterback non-controversy-that-some-people-are-trying-to-make-a-con ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2013

    A Serious Question: Why is Everyone Still Obsessed with the Texans?

    Earlier this season, some dude paid a fan $200 for his Matt Schaub jersey in the parking lot at Reliant Stadium after a loss. He then took the jersey and burned it. I can only assume that most of the participants were drunk because, if they weren't, it would make me worry for Houstonians in general, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2013

    After Seven Straight Losses, The Ed Reed Era Is Over In Houston

    "Arizona played their best ball. We played really well outside of certain situations. Certain situations, we just got outplayed and out coached." -- Ed Reed, Sunday after the 27-24 loss to the Arizona Cardinals Back in the middle of March, Ed Reed was flying back and forth to Houston on owner Bob M ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 11, 2013

    Cardinals 27, Texans 24: Seven Painful Losses in a Row

    As the losses continue to mount, it gets more and more difficult to predict how the Texans will lose. On Sunday, they seemed to play better on the whole, but mistakes on both sides of the ball cost them. It hasn't helped that injuries continue to be a problem as well. Not only has Arian Foster been ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 11, 2013

    Gary Kubiak Is The Greatest Middle Manager Of All-Time

    There's an old saying in business that says the measure of any manager's (or for our purposes, any head coach's) true value is in how similar, in his or her absence, the business (or team) runs as it would with him or her present. In other words, if you've done a good job managing and coaching oth ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2013

    BATTLE-DRINK, Week 10: Randy Bullock Bullies Your Liver

    We are at the mathematical halfway point of the Texans season, and the team sits at 2-6. It's funny how this weekly BATTLE-DRINK game, if you go back and look at each week, in an odd way sort of weaves the tapestry of the entire season. You can see how all the storylines and futility have evolved we ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2013

    Pole Dancing, Playoff Soccer: Top Five Things to Do in Houston Sports This Weekend

    "It's the freakin' weekend, baby, I'm about to have me some fun." Oh, R. Kelly, how you cut to the core of me. The weekend is upon us again, kids and children of all ages. That can mean only two things: 1) It's time to put on my expanding pants and eat nachos until I puke and 2) There be sports here ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 6, 2013

    Texans Kicker Saga: The Randy Bullock Era Lives On

    Tuesday afternoon, the Houston Texans put up a post on the teams website to announce that head coach Gary Kubiak was being released from the hospital, less than 48 hours removed from the frightening mini-stroke that he suffered at halftime of the 27-24 loss to the Indianapolis Colts. The comments s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2013

    Texans Special Teams: 8 Negative Plays That Lost The Colts Game

    Among the numerous statistical conundrums that define the 2013 Houston Texans, perhaps the one most often mentioned is the fact that the Houston Texans' defense somehow ranks first in the NFL in fewest yards allowed per game. Out of respect before each game and then perhaps to inflate their own acc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 4, 2013

    Colts 27, Texans 24: And That Will Just About Do It For 2013

    "What if I told you that a desperate team would play its best half of football in over a year, only to have the happiness taken away in an instant in the scariest way possible?" -- ESPN "30 for 30" Voice Guy on the eventual ad for the inevitable documentary on this bizarre Texans season As a Texans ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 3, 2013

    Case Keenum: a) A Star Is Born, Or b) The Texans Will Always Be The Texans

    Has there ever been an odder night at Reliant Stadium? A thrilling star-is-born first half by UH's Case Keenum, which seemed to rock the stadium to its core, ended with coach Gary Kubiak collapsed on the field and taken to the hospital. The Texans -- for whatever reason -- then reverted to their fr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 1, 2013

    Texans-Colts BATTLE-DRINK: Five Running Backs, Two Lucks

    Here's me channeling an NFL player... After a September and October that included two Texans road trips, three Texans home games, a trip to College Station for Alabama-A&M, and a trip to South Bend for Oklahoma-Notre Dame, the bye week came at a good time for me. Yes, that's right, last weekend's ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2013

    Texans-Colts: The New "Biggest Game In Texans History"

    "This is the BIGGEST game in Texans history!" -- Numerous media members and fans before any number of October and November games the last ten years For the first nine seasons of their existence, a time when the Texans rarely carried any mathematical relevance in the playoff race into November muc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 28, 2013

    Three Days Before Halloween: The Perfect Time in Houston For Carving Your Jack-O-Lanterns

    Growing up in south Texas, I learned quickly that if you carve a pumpkin too early, it will rot. Our hot humid weather will invade all the delicate cuts we've made in our shiny, round pumpkins, and every inch of the exposed flesh will soon be covered in a fuzzy gray-green mold. Creepy? Sure. Ideal ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 24, 2013

    Assessing the Damage: Comparing Losing Streaks of the Gary Kubiak Era

    Say what you will about Gary Kubiak the head coach, but Gary Kubiak the person seems to be a genuinely nice man. All stories behind the scenes point to that, and every player of his I've ever spoken with, past and present, seem to have a sincere admiration, if not adoration, for the man they call Ku ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2013

    Best of HoustonĀ® 2013: Rest of the Best - Houston Texans Edition

    A lot can change in just over two weeks. Two weeks ago, Matt Schaub was the Texans "best" quarterback. Two weeks ago, Brian Cushing's knee wasn't mangled from a vicious hit. Two weeks ago, Danieal Manning wasn't out with a mysterious "leg" injury. Even Owen Daniels was still playing, though he shoul ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 21, 2013

    Case Made, Now About That Head Coach

    The Texans went into Kansas City on Sunday afternoon, armed with their pride, an acute sense of urgency and whatever short term effects the energy boost of a change at quarterback would provide, trying to save their season. And after a hard fought 17-16 loss to the undefeated Chiefs, amidst some re ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 18, 2013

    BATTLE-DRINK, Week 7: Texans vs Chiefs, A New Quarterback Frontier

    The time for talking is over. I mean, I would still like to talk about the Texans. In fact, I'm paid to talk about the Texans, so if words could still be part of the Texans' experience at this point, I'd like to keep talking. (I have bills to pay.) But apparently, talk is cheap, words do nothing, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 18, 2013

    The Houston Texans' Futility Against The Spread (Also, Best Bets)

    We all know the Texans' numbers by now, I laid them out for you in all the startling detail earlier this week. 4-8 over their last 12 games, four losses in a row, one second half touchdown in their last four games, pick sixes galore. But of all the Texans' egregious transgressions, there is one tha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 15, 2013

    Schaub Remains The Wrong Choice, Even If His Numbers Are More Respectable

    On the surface, Sunday was a step forward for Matt Schaub, the Texans' embattled starting quarterback. Before leaving with a leg injury, Schaub completed 15 of 21 passes for 186 yards, posting a strong QB rating of 98.5 and a solid yards-per-attempt (YPA) mark of 8.9. Respectable, right? Sure. And ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 14, 2013

    The Definitive Summary Of The Houston Texans, Post-Letterman Jackets

    "I'll just say this -- for the past few weeks, the finger has been pointed in one direction a lot. But we sprung leaks all over the place today as a football team. We got our butt kicked as a football team." -- Gary Kubiak, post game after the Rams 38-13 decimation on Sunday Gary Kubiak is right in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 11, 2013

    Best Of Houston 2013: J.J. Watt made Houstonians love him, whether they wanted to or not

    The NFL Draft is a time of hope for every team, and in April 2011, Houston Texans fans were in dire need of some hope. Coming off a 2010 season where their team's defense was historically awful, fans wanted something big on draft night. So the Texans were on the clock. Fans chewed their nails nervo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 10, 2013

    Top 5 Sports Bars in Houston for Healthy Eating

    We're about five weeks into football season, and let's just say we've had our fair share of Buffalo wings, loaded nachos, and sliders. It's been fun, but we kind of want to fit into those slutty Halloween costumes we picked out. Well guess what, Houston? We're in luck, because thanks to some of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 9, 2013

    From Bad To Worse: Psychotic Fans Torment Matt Schaub at His Home

    On the Houston sports landscape, there exists a rarified strata of supreme Houston "sports hate" which has been reserved over the years for the likes of Derek Bell, Matt Maloney, and David Carr. In more recent years, you can add Carlos Lee, Kevin Martin, and Tracy McGrady to the list as well. Whet ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 9, 2013

    Lack of Accountability Plaguing the Houston Texans Organization

    In his weekly press conference on Monday, Texans coach Gary Kubiak bristled at the notion that there is no accountability with his team. "I can promise you there is accountability," he said. "If I think, on our football team, that something needs to be done, then I'll do it." In this case, he was re ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 8, 2013

    Finally, Gary Kubiak Is Right. It's on Him.

    In between not one but two live NFL games on Sunday night and one cross-country flight on Monday, I had plenty of time these last couple of days to think about the current state of the Houston Texans. And as they sit amid the charred, barely recyclable remnants of what was, at one time, viable Supe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 7, 2013

    Texans Official Browser Background Image: Whatever You Do, DON'T THROW THE BALL!

    In what is no doubt an ironic twist the day after one of the worst losses in franchise history, the Texans browser theme had a photo of quarterback Matt Schaub handing the ball off to Arian Foster. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn't be considered anything other than a cool shot of the Texans ... More >>

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