Subject:

Houston Texans

  • Blogs

    November 25, 2013

    Jags 13, Texans 6: The Chase for No. 1 Begins

    As the clock ran out on the ninth loss in a row, perhaps the most embarrassing loss in franchise history and the clear metaphorical (if not actual) end to a miserable season for the Texans, one thing became crystal clear: it's time for the Texans to pack it in. What started as a hopeful run to the p ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 25, 2013

    With the Texans At Rock Bottom, It's Time To Clean House, Bob.

    "We suck." -- Andre Johnson, Texans wide receiver And with those two words, Andre Johnson proved himself to be the most lucid and honest voice that matters inside the entire Texans football operations hierarchy. We suck. Indeed. You thought four straight games with a pick six from your starting ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 22, 2013

    Dear Fans, Please Don't Boo The Texans Because They're Sensitive Little Children

    Ben Tate and Owen Daniels are upset the fans booed the Texans on Sunday. The offensive players didn't like that they had to go to a silent count on offense because of crowd anger. The fans should always be quiet and supportive, others say. Some of the thinking is that Texans fans are stupid. That ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 21, 2013

    Texan Fans Rejoice! CBS' Dan Dierdorf To Retire At Season's End

    Rare is the Texans home game that I am not in attendance in person at Reliant Stadium. In seven seasons of covering the team, I can count on one hand how many games I've missed and had to watch on television instead, and I believe the most recent one was the Texans 43-13 win over what eventually b ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 19, 2013

    Zapruder Analysis Of This Snapshot Of A Forlorn Texans Sideline On Sunday

    "Their faces tell you everything." -- Mike McD, Rounders The Texans futility in the second half of games during this eight game losing streak has been well documented. Two touchdowns in eight halves of football (47 possessions in all), it really doesn't get much more meager than that. How are the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 18, 2013

    Raiders 28, Texans 23: What the Schaub?

    About 20 minutes after the Texans game ended, a good friend of mine left a message on my voicemail explaining how angry she was at the team. If you listen to call-in shows or watch Twitter or listen to fans in the stadium, you would see she is not alone. In what will undoubtedly be one of the most ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2013

    BATTLE-DRINK, Week 11: DeAndre Hopkins' Weenie Roast

    In last week's BATTLE-DRINK post, I wrote the following: As we head into Week 10 with the Texans taking on the Arizona Cardinals, all of a sudden we have squares devoted to Gary Kubiak's health, the jumbled running back roster, a quarterback non-controversy-that-some-people-are-trying-to-make-a-con ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2013

    A Serious Question: Why is Everyone Still Obsessed with the Texans?

    Earlier this season, some dude paid a fan $200 for his Matt Schaub jersey in the parking lot at Reliant Stadium after a loss. He then took the jersey and burned it. I can only assume that most of the participants were drunk because, if they weren't, it would make me worry for Houstonians in general, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2013

    After Seven Straight Losses, The Ed Reed Era Is Over In Houston

    "Arizona played their best ball. We played really well outside of certain situations. Certain situations, we just got outplayed and out coached." -- Ed Reed, Sunday after the 27-24 loss to the Arizona Cardinals Back in the middle of March, Ed Reed was flying back and forth to Houston on owner Bob M ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 11, 2013

    Cardinals 27, Texans 24: Seven Painful Losses in a Row

    As the losses continue to mount, it gets more and more difficult to predict how the Texans will lose. On Sunday, they seemed to play better on the whole, but mistakes on both sides of the ball cost them. It hasn't helped that injuries continue to be a problem as well. Not only has Arian Foster been ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 11, 2013

    Gary Kubiak Is The Greatest Middle Manager Of All-Time

    There's an old saying in business that says the measure of any manager's (or for our purposes, any head coach's) true value is in how similar, in his or her absence, the business (or team) runs as it would with him or her present. In other words, if you've done a good job managing and coaching oth ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2013

    BATTLE-DRINK, Week 10: Randy Bullock Bullies Your Liver

    We are at the mathematical halfway point of the Texans season, and the team sits at 2-6. It's funny how this weekly BATTLE-DRINK game, if you go back and look at each week, in an odd way sort of weaves the tapestry of the entire season. You can see how all the storylines and futility have evolved we ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2013

    Pole Dancing, Playoff Soccer: Top Five Things to Do in Houston Sports This Weekend

    "It's the freakin' weekend, baby, I'm about to have me some fun." Oh, R. Kelly, how you cut to the core of me. The weekend is upon us again, kids and children of all ages. That can mean only two things: 1) It's time to put on my expanding pants and eat nachos until I puke and 2) There be sports here ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 6, 2013

    Texans Kicker Saga: The Randy Bullock Era Lives On

    Tuesday afternoon, the Houston Texans put up a post on the teams website to announce that head coach Gary Kubiak was being released from the hospital, less than 48 hours removed from the frightening mini-stroke that he suffered at halftime of the 27-24 loss to the Indianapolis Colts. The comments s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 5, 2013

    Texans Special Teams: 8 Negative Plays That Lost The Colts Game

    Among the numerous statistical conundrums that define the 2013 Houston Texans, perhaps the one most often mentioned is the fact that the Houston Texans' defense somehow ranks first in the NFL in fewest yards allowed per game. Out of respect before each game and then perhaps to inflate their own acc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 4, 2013

    Colts 27, Texans 24: And That Will Just About Do It For 2013

    "What if I told you that a desperate team would play its best half of football in over a year, only to have the happiness taken away in an instant in the scariest way possible?" -- ESPN "30 for 30" Voice Guy on the eventual ad for the inevitable documentary on this bizarre Texans season As a Texans ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 3, 2013

    Case Keenum: a) A Star Is Born, Or b) The Texans Will Always Be The Texans

    Has there ever been an odder night at Reliant Stadium? A thrilling star-is-born first half by UH's Case Keenum, which seemed to rock the stadium to its core, ended with coach Gary Kubiak collapsed on the field and taken to the hospital. The Texans -- for whatever reason -- then reverted to their fr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 1, 2013

    Texans-Colts BATTLE-DRINK: Five Running Backs, Two Lucks

    Here's me channeling an NFL player... After a September and October that included two Texans road trips, three Texans home games, a trip to College Station for Alabama-A&M, and a trip to South Bend for Oklahoma-Notre Dame, the bye week came at a good time for me. Yes, that's right, last weekend's ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2013

    Texans-Colts: The New "Biggest Game In Texans History"

    "This is the BIGGEST game in Texans history!" -- Numerous media members and fans before any number of October and November games the last ten years For the first nine seasons of their existence, a time when the Texans rarely carried any mathematical relevance in the playoff race into November muc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 28, 2013

    Three Days Before Halloween: The Perfect Time in Houston For Carving Your Jack-O-Lanterns

    Growing up in south Texas, I learned quickly that if you carve a pumpkin too early, it will rot. Our hot humid weather will invade all the delicate cuts we've made in our shiny, round pumpkins, and every inch of the exposed flesh will soon be covered in a fuzzy gray-green mold. Creepy? Sure. Ideal ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 24, 2013

    Assessing the Damage: Comparing Losing Streaks of the Gary Kubiak Era

    Say what you will about Gary Kubiak the head coach, but Gary Kubiak the person seems to be a genuinely nice man. All stories behind the scenes point to that, and every player of his I've ever spoken with, past and present, seem to have a sincere admiration, if not adoration, for the man they call Ku ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 22, 2013

    Best of HoustonĀ® 2013: Rest of the Best - Houston Texans Edition

    A lot can change in just over two weeks. Two weeks ago, Matt Schaub was the Texans "best" quarterback. Two weeks ago, Brian Cushing's knee wasn't mangled from a vicious hit. Two weeks ago, Danieal Manning wasn't out with a mysterious "leg" injury. Even Owen Daniels was still playing, though he shoul ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 21, 2013

    Case Made, Now About That Head Coach

    The Texans went into Kansas City on Sunday afternoon, armed with their pride, an acute sense of urgency and whatever short term effects the energy boost of a change at quarterback would provide, trying to save their season. And after a hard fought 17-16 loss to the undefeated Chiefs, amidst some re ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 18, 2013

    BATTLE-DRINK, Week 7: Texans vs Chiefs, A New Quarterback Frontier

    The time for talking is over. I mean, I would still like to talk about the Texans. In fact, I'm paid to talk about the Texans, so if words could still be part of the Texans' experience at this point, I'd like to keep talking. (I have bills to pay.) But apparently, talk is cheap, words do nothing, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 18, 2013

    The Houston Texans' Futility Against The Spread (Also, Best Bets)

    We all know the Texans' numbers by now, I laid them out for you in all the startling detail earlier this week. 4-8 over their last 12 games, four losses in a row, one second half touchdown in their last four games, pick sixes galore. But of all the Texans' egregious transgressions, there is one tha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 15, 2013

    Schaub Remains The Wrong Choice, Even If His Numbers Are More Respectable

    On the surface, Sunday was a step forward for Matt Schaub, the Texans' embattled starting quarterback. Before leaving with a leg injury, Schaub completed 15 of 21 passes for 186 yards, posting a strong QB rating of 98.5 and a solid yards-per-attempt (YPA) mark of 8.9. Respectable, right? Sure. And ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 14, 2013

    The Definitive Summary Of The Houston Texans, Post-Letterman Jackets

    "I'll just say this -- for the past few weeks, the finger has been pointed in one direction a lot. But we sprung leaks all over the place today as a football team. We got our butt kicked as a football team." -- Gary Kubiak, post game after the Rams 38-13 decimation on Sunday Gary Kubiak is right in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 11, 2013

    Best Of Houston 2013: J.J. Watt made Houstonians love him, whether they wanted to or not

    The NFL Draft is a time of hope for every team, and in April 2011, Houston Texans fans were in dire need of some hope. Coming off a 2010 season where their team's defense was historically awful, fans wanted something big on draft night. So the Texans were on the clock. Fans chewed their nails nervo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 10, 2013

    Top 5 Sports Bars in Houston for Healthy Eating

    We're about five weeks into football season, and let's just say we've had our fair share of Buffalo wings, loaded nachos, and sliders. It's been fun, but we kind of want to fit into those slutty Halloween costumes we picked out. Well guess what, Houston? We're in luck, because thanks to some of ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 9, 2013

    From Bad To Worse: Psychotic Fans Torment Matt Schaub at His Home

    On the Houston sports landscape, there exists a rarified strata of supreme Houston "sports hate" which has been reserved over the years for the likes of Derek Bell, Matt Maloney, and David Carr. In more recent years, you can add Carlos Lee, Kevin Martin, and Tracy McGrady to the list as well. Whet ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 9, 2013

    Lack of Accountability Plaguing the Houston Texans Organization

    In his weekly press conference on Monday, Texans coach Gary Kubiak bristled at the notion that there is no accountability with his team. "I can promise you there is accountability," he said. "If I think, on our football team, that something needs to be done, then I'll do it." In this case, he was re ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 8, 2013

    Finally, Gary Kubiak Is Right. It's on Him.

    In between not one but two live NFL games on Sunday night and one cross-country flight on Monday, I had plenty of time these last couple of days to think about the current state of the Houston Texans. And as they sit amid the charred, barely recyclable remnants of what was, at one time, viable Supe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 7, 2013

    49ers 34, Texans 3: Mad Matt Beyond Schauberdome

    If anyone thought last week's loss to Seattle was rock bottom, think again. That loss was a mere night in the drunk tank. Sunday night in San Francisco for the Texans was more like having your stomach pumped after being found unconscious covered in your own vomit. In one week, the Texans went from n ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 7, 2013

    Texans Official Browser Background Image: Whatever You Do, DON'T THROW THE BALL!

    In what is no doubt an ironic twist the day after one of the worst losses in franchise history, the Texans browser theme had a photo of quarterback Matt Schaub handing the ball off to Arian Foster. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn't be considered anything other than a cool shot of the Texans ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 4, 2013

    BATTLE-DRINK, Week 5: I Left My Liver In San Francisco

    Sunday night, the Texans take on the San Francisco 49ers, and I think of all the possible BATTLE-DRINK challenges, Sunday night games pose the most daunting one. Think about it, Thursday night games are all right because there's only one per year, and who's really focused on Friday at work anyway. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 1, 2013

    Cowboy And Charger Fans Take Turns Breaking Bottles Over Each Other's Heads (w/ VIDEO)

    Over the last couple seasons, I'm very fortunate in that I've had the chance to frequent some of the away venues and cities on the Houston Texans' schedule. Last season, I made road trips to both Chicago and New England. A couple seasons ago, it was Indianapolis. This weekend, it'll be San Francisco ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 30, 2013

    Seahawks 23, Texans 20: Congratulations, You've Been Schaubed

    I'm not generally a fan of doomsday predictors. I like them only marginally less than rose-colored glasses wearers. I tend to prefer reality and the reality is the Texans have a serious problem. Before you start shouting the name of the current starting quarterback or the perfect-haired play caller ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2013

    Bing Bang Theory's Jim Parsons Loves Him Some Houston Sports

    Anyone who has seen any interviews with multiple Emmy Award winner Jim Parsons knows of his love for his home town. He is not shy in talking up Houston on national talk shows and even dropping in stuff about us in his show. But, even more than being an unabashed Houston honk, Parsons loves him his h ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 23, 2013

    Ravens 30, Texans 9: Big Plays, Penalties and Offensive Ineptitude Give Baltimore a Blow Out Win

    Greg Gumbel, who called the Texans-Ravens game for CBS said at one point late in the game after the referee tossed his flag, "And another flag." His attempt at sarcasm was well meaning, but the joke was on the Texans Sunday as they fell 30-9 in Baltimore. The two teams combined for 24 penalties (acc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 20, 2013

    Ravens-Texans Week 3 BATTLE-DRINK: Dierdorf Loves Suggs

    Well, either the CBS decision makers have a hell of a sense of humor or they're the biggest trolls in television administration, because less than a year after one of the most tweeted about broadcast performances of the Texans' 2012 season, Dan Dierdorf's Week 7 slurp-fest of a returning-from-Achill ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 17, 2013

    Texans Kicking Woes: What To Do About Poor Randy Bullock

    When Randy Bullock missed his third kick Sunday -- the fourth in the first two games of his Texans' career -- my initial, emotion-fueled instinct was simple. Cut him. The Texans (2-0), while not perfect, are legitimate Super Bowl contenders and probably No. 2 in the AFC pecking order behind only D ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2013

    Titans-Texans: The 10 Best Rapper Tweets From Sunday's Game

    Texans BIIITCH— slim thug (@slimthugga) September 15, 2013 Houston has a professional football team. They are called the Houston Texans. A lot of people like them. Some of the people who like them are rappers. The Internet has several forms of social media. One of those forms of social medi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2013

    Titans-Texans: 4 Winners, 4 Losers, "Gary Kubiak, Replay Ninja" Edition

    Around 8:00 Sunday night (presumably after walking several old ladies across the street and single handedly raising a million dollars in two hours to cure an obscure disease), Texans defensive end J.J. Watt tweeted this: Nobody said it'd be easy. #FindAWay— JJ Watt (@JJWatt) September 16, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 16, 2013

    Yes, Indeed! Fest vs. Vanilla Ice at Halftime: Everybody Wins

    It should go without saying: there are music events, and then there are events which may be enhanced by the added element of music. This weekend in Houston, a pair of offerings illustrated this point quite vividly. Saturday's Yes, Indeed! festival in the Warehouse District was the former -- a music ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2013

    Titans-Texans: BATTLE-DRINK Makes Its 2013 Home Debut!

    I'll admit, I never went back and watched the complete telecast of the Texans and Chargers game from Monday night, partially because I just haven't really had time and partially for, well, other reasons. The good news is that I did finish Season 3 of Breaking Bad last night! So there's that. My po ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 11, 2013

    Texans-Chargers: Top 5 Plays That Sparked Monday's Comeback

    The margin for error is microscopic when trailing by 21 points midway through the third quarter in an NFL road game. Even one hiccup is usually enough to derail hopes. That's the situation the Texans found themselves late Monday night. But somehow, they pulled themselves out of it and opened the se ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2013

    Texans 31, Chargers 28: A Tale of Two Halves as Texans Win on Tuesday Morning Football

    Nearly three hours after the late start, the game was still in doubt, but that was a massive improvement over where the Texans were about two hours earlier. The Chargers took at 28-7 lead on the Texans in the third quarter only to see the Texans come flying back and pull out a 31-28 road win on a ki ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 9, 2013

    Texans vs. Chargers on Monday Night Football: Five Players to Watch

    NFL football is back...finally. For football fans, the wait for game 1 can be difficult, but when you live in Houston and your summer is filled with another year of bitter disappointment courtesy the Astros, it's positively excruciating. As if to torture us just a little longer, the NFL scheduled th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 9, 2013

    It Returns! BATTLE-DRINK, The Houston Texans BINGO Drinking Game, Monday Night Opener Edition

    I am banging out this post in the dewey sweet ocean air of San Diego on Sunday morning. Since I make it to California like once every couple years, at best, I plan on spending Sunday watching football near the water somewhere (which I call "show prep" to you IRS auditors out there when I go to claim ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 5, 2013

    Flat Screens, Game Day Specials, TD Shots More: Where To Watch The Texans Season Opener This Monday Night

    The Texan's quest for the championship starts on the road this Monday, as they face off against the Chargers at 9:20 p.m. CT. This is all the more reason to get out and watch the game at one of Houston's awesome sports bars. Because we love nothing more than wings, JJ Watt's ass football, and our ... More >>

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