Indianapolis Colts

Long Snaps with Bryan Pittman: Sashimi, Indy and Ignorance

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week Three: Approaching the Promised Land

Long Snaps with Bryan Pittman: God, Elephantitis and Those Damn Dirty Patriots

John Royal’s NFL Picks, Week Five: Sports Writers Are Athletes Too…

John Royal's NFL Picks, Week 11: Andre Johnson Is Back, But Take the Saints Anyway

Miss Cleo’s Fearless Forecast: Super Bowl XLIII Winner Revealed!

John Royal’s NFL Season Picks

NFL Review, Week One: Ahman Green, Cedric Benson, Tom Brady and Rosario Dawson

Texans-Colts: Houston Needs to Go to Finishing School

Gary Kubiak’s Top Ten Excuses for Losing to the Colts

John Royal's NFL Power Rankings

Texans' Downhill Swing Likely to Pick up Momentum Against Colts

Peyton to Texans: "See you sissies in Hell" Wow, was it just three weeks ago that the Texans were 3-4 and people were talking playoffs? Time sure does fly, doesn’t it? The Texans are now 3-6 and are playing the Indianapolis Colts this weekend. The Texans haven’t had a lot of luck against ... More >>

Wednesday Morning Quarterbacking: Special Post-Amsterdam Edition

So I was in Amsterdam for the weekend – working on those frequent flyer miles – and I missed the Texans’ 33-27 loss to the Indianapolis Colts. However, the BBC World Service did manage to show highlights from the Titans/Jaguars game. After the game, Gary Kubiak went with the “we had a ... More >>

Texans Find Yet Another Way To Turn Breakthrough Into Heartbreak

​Before 2004, I remember laughing at Red Sox fans and the Curse of the Bambino. I rolled my eyes while Cubs fans whined about a goat. I remember being baffled that grown men and women could seriously believe or discuss outside forces having an impact on what occurs in the field of play.Then I met ... More >>

Game Time: Kick In The Junk...Wide Left

​I woke up Sunday morning thinking that things had to get better. After a week that started off with a right cross from Kobe, a left hook from the Yankees, and a sucker punch in the junk from Notre Dame, I thought surely these events were just karmic balance for what was going to be the biggest w ... More >>

Colts 35, Texans 27: At Least You Saw This One Coming

​The most alarming aspect in the latest installment of Texans collapses wasn't the game itself. Rather, what's most frightening is just how customary this has become under the leadership of head coach Gary Kubiak.In this week's edition, the lion's share of blame goes to quarterback Matt Schaub and ... More >>

Game Time: Defining Texans Coach Gary Kubiak

​"When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment... or the moment defines you." -- Roy McAvoyCertainly, I'm not asking Gary Kubiak to make like the source of the above quote and take multiple 3-wood shots over a water hazard to post a 12 on the last hole of the U.S. Open, or even do o ... More >>

Game Time: Your Texans Playoff Rooting Manifesto, 2009 Edition...Yeah, You Heard Me!!

​The internet has been a wonderful invention. It's allowed us to do all of our Christmas shopping in our underwear, go to college in our underwear, hell even go to work in our underwear. Basically, it's allowed us to do a lot of things in our underwear that we never thought possible, including giv ... More >>

Game Time: Texans Playoff Rooting Manifesto 3.0..."Jim Caldwell Sucks" Edition

​There will be no need for 2,000 words to explain the various permutations of things that need to happen this week for the Texans to make the 2009 NFL Playoffs. Thanks to the various dominoes falling yesterday, heading into Week 17, the following scenario needs to play out:-- Texans beat the Patri ... More >>

Sure, The Colts Screwed The Texans Yesterday. But You Can Get A Free Glass Of Champagne Because Of It!

​As our Sean Pendergast ably points out, the Indianapolis Colts gave a big eff-you to the Houston Texans yesterday, dealing the locals' playoff chances a deathblow. (Technically, the Texans' playoff hopes are alive, but they're as alive as David Carr's Hall of Fame candidacy.)The Colts called off ... More >>

What's It Gonna Take To Get Gary Kubiak Fired?

Photo by Mark C. Austin​Before the football season, Houston Texans owner Bob McNair supposedly said that anything short of the playoffs for the team would be unacceptable. I say supposedly because here we are, in January, at the end of another non-playoff season, and not only is Gary Kubiak still ... More >>

Texans Raise Ticket Prices Because....Because...Because They Can?

​Let's say you're the owner of the Houston Texans. And let's say your team just barely managed to eke out its first winning season despite playing against some of the worst teams in professional football. Let's say that, despite saying this summer that it was the playoffs or bust for the team, ... More >>

Game Time: NFL Conference Title Predictions...Channeling College Football

There's no two ways about it, my NFL playoff predictions have been terrible. As I outlined on Monday, I reached a point this past weekend, after going goose eggs on the first seven games, where I picked the Jets to beat the Chargers outright merely because every rational thought and shred of evide ... More >>

Is Anyone Rooting For The Colts In The Super Bowl?

​Now that the NFL is down to two teams, the big question remains -- who the hell is going to be rooting for Indianapolis?Let's examine the options.The cities.On the one hand, you have a town (not a city) full of pasty Midwesterners, a burg that only has an NFL team because the owner of one of the ... More >>

A Scientific Comparison Of Indianapolis And New Orleans

​Even before Katrina, Houston was long a brother to New Orleans. Cars packed with revelers make that I-10 drive come Mardi Gras time, or whenever the urge hits.Katrina only cemented the bond. So with the Saints in the Super Bowl, as odd as those five words strung together may sound, we're firmly r ... More >>

Then Tracy Porter Intercepted The Bag Of Money And Returned It

Photo courtesy FBI​ Wearing his gear proudly, this Indianapolis Colts fan robbed a bank inside a Randall's on FM 1960 Friday night. We assume he needed the cash to put down a boatload on the Colts giving four and a half."The photo clearly shows the Colts logo on the shirt as well as the large hand ... More >>

Texans Schedule Out, And More Rides On Kubiak Than Ever Before

​The season remains nearly five months away, but with Tuesday night's much-celebrated release of the 2010 NFL schedule, the gameplanning for Peyton Manning among the Texans' brain trust can and should officially begin. Sure, this week's draft is the more pressing matter. Yes, there are still ... More >>

Game Time: I, For One, Am Excited About the Texans Schedule

​As far as an industry goes, there is a lot for the National Football League to be proud of. Massive global appeal, groundbreaking television offerings surrounding both the games themselves as well as the happenings behind the scenes, competitive balance -- all reasons it's the most successful ... More >>

Our Year

Will Texans make it to playoffs?

Texans 34, Colts 24: Foster Dashes To Stardom, But Give Kubiak His Due

Photo by Aaron M. SprecherMario Williams was a stud against the Colts​See photos from the season-opening game in our slideshow. For a brief time, the script looked all too familiar on Sunday at Reliant Stadium. The Texans raced out to a big first-half lead over the Colts, only to watch Peyton Man ... More >>

Texans 30, Redskins 27: This Was The Game Great Teams Win, And The Old Texans Lose

Arian Foster's a perfect 6-0​On the surface, it could seem silly to characterize a 3-point overtime escape in Washington as more of a season-defining moment than a blowout of rival Indianapolis. But when you consider where the now 2-0 Texans have been, that appears to be exactly the case.Ask New O ... More >>

Houston Texans Turn The Corner -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

Neil Rackers -- He's no Kris Brown​I shouldn't enjoy carnage as much as I do, but I have to admit that a few hours after Neil Rackers' 35-yard field goal sailed through the uprights, sending the Houston Texans to an improbable 30-27 overtime win over the Washington Redskins yesterday afternoon, My ... More >>

Texans' Bye Brings Unofficial Start To AFC Bubble Watch

Will the Texans take "moops" for an answer?​For the first time in seven weeks, a football Sunday passed and the Texans' secondary wasn't torched by an opposing quarterback. Of course, that sadly meant it was the Texans' bye week.A week from tonight, Peyton Manning will look to repeat his 400-yard ... More >>

Colts 30, Texans 17: Indianapolis Still Has No Answer for Arian Foster. Enter Gary Kubiak

Photo by Aaron M. SprecherGary Kubiak knows how to keep Arian Foste from beating the Colts​In week one, the Texans (4-3) annihilated the Colts because Indianapolis couldn't stop running back Arian Foster, who rushed for 231 yards and three touchdowns. In week eight, the Colts (5-2) still couldn't ... More >>

Texans-Colts: You Come At The King, You Best Not Miss

The Texans failed to heed sage advice​"You come at the king, you best not miss." -- Omar Little, The Wire That line works. Whether you're trying to riddle the most feared gangster in the drug neighborhood with bullets or whether you're attempting to sweep the season series from the best quarter ... More >>

Houston Texans -- Dissecting Gary Kubiak's Press Conference

How's that hopey-changey thing workin' out for ya?​Nobody's perfect.This is what I involuntarily remind myself every day with my myriad of fuck-ups, and what I try to willingly remind myself as I sit down to watch every Houston Texans game, assess the various tactical decisions made throughout the ... More >>

If Gary Kubiak Had Been Around In Key Historical Moments

Houston Texans' coach Gary Kubiak is the genius who piloted the team to a big win over the Indianapolis Colts early this year via a punishing running game. He's also the idiot, fans are saying, who piloted the team to a crushing loss against the Colts Monday by trying to throw the ball constantly. ... More >>

NFL & College Football Best Bets -- How Ebenezer Scrooge Saved Me

Ebenezer in the house​I went to the Alley Theater last night and saw A Christmas Carol. Fantastic production and actually my first time ever seeing it in any venue, let alone the Alley. For the completely un-Christmased of you out there, Carol is a tale of Ebenezer Scrooge, a grumpy curmudge ... More >>

The New Normal

The Texans start operating like a bona fide NFL team.

Texans-Colts: Five Things to Watch

No Peyton, no chance.​With Peyton Manning out for Sunday's opener and potentially the entire year after undergoing a second surgery on his neck, the narrative for Houston changes from a statement game to one of trends. That is, there should be no way to actually lose, or for the final score t ... More >>

Texans 34, Colts 7: In Role Reversal, Defense Picks Up Offense

Photo by Marco TorresMatt Schaub encountered the odd concept of relying on his defense.​It took just 12 game minutes for Wade Phillips and his new-look defense to show why this year's Texans could be different from their once-promising predecessors. Matt Schaub wasn't himself early on, air-ma ... More >>

Houston Texans Game 1 -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Photo by Marco Torres​Yesterday was a great day. The NFL season kicked off, the Texans were at home, and the weather was an unseasonably cool 96 degrees in Houston, perfect tailgating weather if you can deal with pit stains and butt sweat. Oh, and the Texans beat the Colts in the opener for t ... More >>

Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, A Salute To TV Season Premieres

DWTS = this week's Philly-Giants game?​Television fascinates me. It seems like a new station pops up onto my channel grid every day to the point where I'm actually a little disappointed I haven't been approached by anyone to televise the Sean Network. I mean, doesn't everyone have their own ne ... More >>

Texans-Saints, Etc. -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Big winner: James Casey​The easy fall back after Sunday's 40-33 to the New Orleans Saints is to say "Same ol' Texans," and in a way, I understand. Red zone issues, fourth quarter brain farts (23 points allowed), the untimely turnover, same ol' Texans. But I choose to look at the glass half f ... More >>

Could the Texans Be Favored in Every Game the Rest of the Season?

Photo by Marco TorresReasons to smile?​"Its not that big of a stretch to think the Texans will be favored in every remaining game." -- @clintshane on Twitter last night It's funny, I mentioned in yesterday's post how drastically people's outlooks can swing based on a relatively small body of ... More >>

The Peyton Manning Saga -- A Very Special 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Everyone wants The Beard​"Peyton Manning's not going to let (the Colts) draft Andrew Luck." -- Phil Simms "I don't talk to Phil. Phil doesn't talk to me. He did text me after that, saying 'Hey, sorry to drag your name into this.' I wrote back, 'Phil I don't know what you're talking about.' He ... More >>

Football! A&M-UT, LSU: This Weekend's Best Bets

We would've gotten away with it, if it wasn't for that meddling bodyguard​So yeah, about that "Bully Theory" from last week. Um, well, um....sorry? In case you missed it, I shared a theory of mine last week, and without rehashing the details it all led up to me telling all of you to take Wisc ... More >>

Colts 19, Texans 16: The Day The Sports Gods Reminded Houstonians To Know Our Role

Oh, there goes gravity​For months, it seemed as though the Texans were the average Houstonian's sports salvation. Never mind the Astros' status as the worst organization in baseball and a Bud Selig-forced move to the American League after 50 years. Never mind that the Rockets, after cleverly ... More >>

Merry Christmas! This Weekend's Football Best Bets

Santa's offering up some money-line action​Before I get into this weekend's best bets, a couple paragraphs on the Texans' 19-16 loss to the Colts last night: Was that officiating crew terrible last night? Yes. But good lord, I've never seen a bigger bunch of whiny babies than Texan fans last ... More >>

The Super Bowl Prostitution Hoax

Indianapolis mobilizes for an epic battle with an urban legend.