Ivy League

Top Five Things to Do in Houston Sports This Weekend: The Upper Crusty Edition

The above image is exactly what we imagine you say when you see the weekly headline announcing the best things to do in sports this weekend. You're all, "FUCK YEAH, MOTHER EFFER! IT'S TIME FOR SPORTS! WOO!" Then you read about the things we have to offer and you're all, "YEAH...wait, what?" That's ... More >>

Forced to Work at Waffle Bus, Rice English Ph.D. Students Lodge Stipend Complaints

It seems that the Teaching Fellows at the University of Houston may have started something. While those English Dept. Masters and Ph.D. students have begun a sit-in near Chancellor Renu Khator's office to force a discussion about their meager stipends -- the group's annual funds remain below the nat ... More >>

Admission

Tina Fey's great, but Admission doesn't have the marks.

Desmond Bryant's Mugshot Ends The "Best NFL Mugshot Ever" Debate

The Super Bowl is a few weeks into the rear view mirror now, OTA's are a few months away, so for NFL players we are in the first "Crime Season" of the NFL calendar. Crime Season occurs in dormant weeks and months where undisciplined players really don't have anything to do except get into trouble wi ... More >>

Zack Kopplin, The 19-Year-Old Face of the Anti-Creationist Movement

Having fought his battles in Louisiana, the Rice University student is now ready for Texas and any move to put faux science in the public schools here.

Possibly Coming to a Texas High-School Football Field Near You: Only One Full-Contact Practice Per Week

Last Thursday, State Representative Eddie Lucio III, a Democrat from Brownsville, filed House Bill 887. If enacted, the law would limit middle-school and high-school football programs to one full-contact practice per week. "Like most people, I'm influenced by the stories I read and the news I see. ... More >>

Business as Usual at Music Town CDs & Records, Since 1979

When James May unlocks the doors to Music Town each day at noon, his little shop on Stuebner Airline across from Klein High School is mainly filled with CDs, new and used vinyl and an enormous amount of cassettes. When he first opened the shop in 1979, the sign actually said "Music Town Records and ... More >>

Upcoming: Glen Campbell, Toadies, Norah Jones, Crystal Method, Etc.

13 Black Coffins, Ese, Zipperneck, The Failed Attempt: Fri., June 1, 7 p.m., $10. Mango's, 403 Westheimer Road, Houston. 23 Shades, The Solidier Thread: Fri., June 1, 8 p.m., $10/$12. The Bronze Peacock Room @ House Of Blues, 1204 Caroline, Houston. Aesop Rock: Fri., Aug. 10, 8 p.m., $18/$22. Fitz ... More >>

Hammer Time: The Social Network Actor Busted at Border for Pot Brownies

The Texas border is a rather notorious place when it comes to drugs and people trying to cross into the United States carrying them. In fact, both Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg were busted in the exact same location, Sierra Blanca. Traditionally, these drugs are found in the vehicle of the accused or ... More >>

Chicago Bears WR Sam Hurd Has a Ring...a Drug Ring!

The Stringer Bell School of Entrepreneurship.​I remember former Houston Texans (and now Washington Redskins) wide receiver David Anderson telling me a couple years ago about a program that the NFL offered players in which they could travel to prestigious universities during the off season and ... More >>

Jerry Rice Doesn't Really Grasp the Whole "Stock Market" Concept (w/ VIDEO)

Not read by Jerry Rice.​It seems like every retired NFL player with any small modicum of celebrity over the last decade has found his way onto television, either on the NFL Network or ESPN. The amount of money that is spent on salaries for largely repetitive, and oftentimes useless, opinions h ... More >>

Moneyball

Field of Statistically Knowable Dreams

(Non-Planet) Pluto Has a New Moon? What the Hell Does This Mean for Astrology?

Pluto is effin' Goofy, is all we know.​Frankly, we don't keep up much with Pluto and its status as a planet or non-planet. It's kind of like when, as a young altar boy, the Catholic Church demoted a bunch of saints. We just rolled with the flow. So if Pluto's not a planet, it doesn't really b ... More >>

Leo Berman Not Buying Obama's "Birth Certificate" Stunt; Has Greatest Question Ever

Leo Berman: Not convinced​THANK GOD state rep Leo Berman is still bringing the crazy when it comes to President Obama's place of birth. Obama, tiring of all the attention still being devoted to this issue (CNN has been pounding it lately), Obama asked for, received and released this morning t ... More >>

Famous Triple Doubles (NBA and Otherwise)

The Jim Rome triple double: He's Big O-esque​Ah, the triple double. The semi-elusive NBA statistic whereby an NBA player gets double figures in a game in three performance categories (points, rebounds, assists are usually the big three, but steals and blocked shots are sometimes allowed in the ... More >>

Jerry Eversole's Trial: The Winners and Losers

The youthful Eversole, before the feds started pestering him.​Jerry Eversole surprised a lot of people when he escaped conviction on bribery charges. A hung jury ended in a mistrial, but prosecutors expect to take another swing at it soon. In the meantime, everyone is poking through the wrec ... More >>

Houston Texans -- R.I.P. 2010

Dr. Kubler-Ross is here to see you, Texan fans​In her 1969 book Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross describes in detail the five stages of dealing with grief and tragedy. Simply put, the human progression is to exhibit feelings of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (like ... More >>

Greed, Interrupted

Part meltdown memoir, part essential finger pointing, Inside Job will make you seethe.

Sarah Palin: Libs Hate Her Because She's Beautiful, Not Like That Michelle Obama

The ugliness!! It BURNS!!!!​Texas Tech, that bastion of Americanism way out there in Lubbock, has done it again.This time they're not protesting a statue that allegedly features Commies and lesbians, nor are they linking tattoos to social deviance.This time, they're saying liberals hate Sarah Pali ... More >>

Kyle Beltran Drops Shakespeare For Rap In The Infectious In The Heights

Photo copyright (C) Joan Marcus 2009Daniel Bolero, Natalie Toro and Kyle Beltran ​Kyle Beltran, who plays the lead role of Usnavi in the Broadway Across America version of the Tony Award and Grammy Award winning In the Heights, now showing at the Hobby Center, credits the musical for bringing "hip ... More >>

Game Time: Texans Sign DeMeco Ryans, Their Dwight Shrute

​When a big sports news story breaks, my tendency is to spend about eight seconds internalizing it and wondering what it means to the subject of said news and what it means to me as a fan. From second number nine forward it's time to figure out other angles the news puts into play, what other pe ... More >>

Game Time: Calipari Seeks His First Final Four....You Know, Because The Other Two Never Happened

The NCAA makes me chuckle sometimes. Forget about the laughable amount of time it takes them to investigate transgressions at schools where you may as well be investigating jaywalking outside Minute Maid Park on Texas Street after an Astros game. (For those of you who don't live in Houston, after ... More >>

Game Time: "My Bracket Looks Like Edward James Olmos' Face"

​There is a silver lining in a plundered bracket in the year 2010, and it's this -- with the advent of Twitter, you immediately get reaction to the various buzzer-beaters, bracket-busters, and inexplicable gaffes that make up the first few days of the tournament (and there were plenty). So whereas ... More >>

I Wanna Be Your Dog (Or Cat): The Mad Libs Edition

Hair Balls was cleaning out our closet the other day and, right there next to our old Little League uniform and a fossilized finger-bone of Jimmy Hoffa, was a stack of old Mad Libs books. It unleashed a flood of memories -- staying up past bedtime with friends, laughing like fools as we co ... More >>

Game Time: A Hand Of Blackjack At The "Atrocious Football Game Management" Convention

​EXT. HO-CHUNK CASINO IN BARABOO, WISCONSIN -- NIGHTThe sun is setting behind the main casino building and the marquee at the front of the parking-lot entrance reads "2009 ATROCIOUS FOOTBALL GAME MANAGEMENT CONVENTION." This is the annual gathering where football coaches at the college and pro lev ... More >>

Harvard Beats Yale 29-29

This is one football game that made history on and off the field

25 Random March Madness Facts

Photo by All your picture are belong to us It's once again time for the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, or as most refer to it, March Madness. And instead of doing an analysis and picking the winner, like I do (badly) every year, I've decided to go another way. I'm sure you've all seen those Fac ... More >>

25 Random March Madness Facts

Photo by All your picture are belong to us It's once again time for the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, or as most refer to it, March Madness. And instead of doing an analysis and picking the winner, like I do (badly) every year, I've decided to go another way. I'm sure you've all seen those Fac ... More >>

Fen-Phen Side Effects: Irritable Lawyers

Ivy League Frat Punished For Helping Ike Victims

The Osteen Trial: All Over But The Shouting

British Sea Power, with Film School, Colour Music and the Watermarks

Stranded by Oscar: Into the Wild, Radiant City, SNL in the '80s: Lost and Found, The Love Boat: Season One, Volume One

The Nanny Diaries

Life as a young, hot, white, educated nanny in the city sure is a drag

Get Lit: First Assistant, Second Assistant

Mexican-American Culture

Pancho Villa's purloined pate

Pastoral U.

Get Lost

It'd Be Cool if this sequel were any good. Too bad it ain't.

Kicking It

WAKA lets you do it playground-style

Best Place to Meet Single Women

Eric Bibb, with Ruthie Foster and Cyd Cassone

Wednesday, February 4

The Power of 12

Arthur Yoria and Matt Maloney launch a new local label with a roster of one

Fear Factor

But just think, no one hates TV more than Trent Lott

Rice Freeze

Market losses force a temporary hiring ban at the university

Bland Ambition

Motion to dismiss: Legally Blonde doesn't even have a case

News Hostage

Flunking Out

187 is a blackboard bungle

Rotation

Cute Threat

To Syrup with Love