Jacoby Jones

Joe Flacco Has A New Contract: Next Big Thing Or Next Cautionary Tale?

On December 16, the Baltimore Ravens lost their third game in a row, 34-17 to the Denver Broncos in Baltimore to drop to 9-5 on the season and virtually clinch a relatively ho-hum four seed in the AFC. On that day, their starting quarterback, Joe Flacco, completed 20 passes on 40 attempts for 254 l ... More >>

Jacoby Jones' Appearance On Jimmy Kimmel Live Was Jacoby-tastic!! (w/ VIDEO)

Staying up late on Thursday nights in February is nothing new to me, as I'm one of those NBA sickos that will stay up till one in the morning to see what Charles Barkley has to say on TNT's postgame show. However, yesterday was a little different. Yes, I stayed up into the wee hours Thursday night, ... More >>

Jacoby Jones' Revenge Tour 2013 Continues With A Sports Illustrated Cover

Oftentimes in football when things go inexplicably right, and virtually every time things go horribly wrong for one's football team, we like to credit/blame the "football gods," mythical, karmic beings who can go from savior to grim reaper faster than you can say "Kubiak." Well, if the "football go ... More >>

Super Bowl XLVII: 4 Winners, 4 Losers

"Ain't about redemption. Ain't about that. It's a business. The Texans gave me my chance out of Lane College, and now I'm a champion." -- Jacoby Jones On a night where the only thing standing between Jacoby Jones and the Super Bowl MVP award being a yeoman's performance from Joe Flacco was the seco ... More >>

No MVP? Jacoby Jones Wuz Robbed!

The extremely disappointing ending to the Houston Texans' season, which saw them toss away games and play poorly after an impressive start to 2012, triggered some extreme reactions in fans. Some -- pushing for changes in the front office and head-coaching positions -- no doubt would have liked to h ... More >>

Surviving The Great Blackout Of Super Bowl XLVII

Last night's Super Bowl blackout in New Orleans went something like this. At first, the lights dimmed in the Mercedes-Benz Superdome after Jacoby Jones' 100-something yard kick return. Just like they had done in preparation for Beyonce's pyro-laden halftime show. Then, the screaming scoreboards an ... More >>

A Whole Lotta Harbaugh: Super Bowl XLVII BATTLE-DRINK Is Here!

Super Bowl Sunday will be upon us soon. I have the good fortune of being able to cover the game in New Orleans this year, and from the bottom of my heart let me say that I wish I could bring each and every one of you with me. I really do. But I can't, so in lieu of cramming all of you into my renta ... More >>

The Harbowl, Colin Kaepernick, Ray Lewis Dominate Super Bowl Media Day

On Tuesday morning the sports media world centered itself on the Mercedes-Benz Superdome and Super Bowl Media Day, with the Baltimore Ravens and the San Francisco 49ers diving into the days' orgy of interviews on the stadium floor. Media from all over the world were present to ask players the toug ... More >>

Football! NFC and AFC Title Game Best Bets

Last weekend, when we were down to eight teams left standing in the NFL playoffs, on my radio show I placed the remaining starting quarterbacks into three distinct "buckets": ELITE (3): Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, Peyton Manning These three all were secure in their legacies regardless of the outcome ... More >>

Texans -- Ravens: 4 Winners, 4 Losers (Including J.J. Watt, Arian Foster & Connor Barwin)

"It's just one game." "Nobody would have beaten Aaron Rodgers tonight." "Hey, if someone had told you before the season they'd be 5-1 going into the Ravens game, you'd have taken it, right?" Those are just a few of the dozens of different ways Texans fans and media rationalized last weekend's 42- ... More >>

Your Texans Gamewatching Prep: Lord, How Times Have Changed With The Team's Success

Man, NFL Sundays used to be so much easier when the Texans sucked. You knew they were going to lose, they knew they were going to lose, all your friends knew they were going to lose -- what was the sense in putting a lot of effort into watching? Unless you're putting together an Irish wake, you don ... More >>

Houston Texans: Preseason Week Two, 4 Winners and 4 Losers

When we last saw the Texans play football in our fair city, they were putting the finishing touches on a 31-10 beatdown of the Cincinnati Bengals in the NFL playoffs. A week later, the magical ride would come to an end in Baltimore. Since then, some things have gotten better (Arian Foster's income, ... More >>

Baltimore Ravens Just Now Finding Out Jacoby Jones Can't Catch

As fans and media, many of us fancy ourselves to be experts in our sports of choice. When a questionable move is made by the brass for our favorite team (or any team, for that matter), we openly mock the general manager who made the "ludicrous" decision in question, and then go on Twitter and talk a ... More >>

Celtics-Heat Postgame Fun-Fest: Crazy KG, D-Wade's Hipster-ish Fake Glasses, and "Good Job, Good Effort!" Kid (w/ VIDEO)

I love NBA basketball, but I'll be the first to admit that I am oftentimes more compelled by what goes on after the games -- in the press conferences, in the locker room, on the set of TNT -- than I am in the games themselves. I'm the guy who is rooting against LeBron not because I hate him, but be ... More >>

NBA Formalwear: Chase Budinger's NBA Socks Worn Under His Suit At Tilman Fertitta's Charity Event

On the evening of May 2, John Granato and I had the opportunity to broadcast a "very special edition" of our show on 1560 The Game live from local restaurant and casino mogul Tilman Fertitta's palatial (Understatement Adjective of the Year, by the way) estate in River Oaks. It was the annual "Gath ... More >>

Jacoby Jones Finds A New Home (A Lot Like His Old Home)

After being waived by the Texans last week and subsequently visiting the Carolina Panthers and Baltimore Ravens within the last few days, the Jacoby Jones Era is officially underway in Baltimore (although some Texan fans would argue it started back in January) as the sixth-year wide receiver inked a ... More >>

Jacoby Jones Released by the Texans

"I don't watch the draft. When they draft someone it means somebody I played with for an entire year and sometimes longer, must go." -- Arian Foster on Twitter, 5/1/12 Arian Foster posted this tweet to his Twitter account late Tuesday afternoon, and despite the lack of any specific names mentioned ... More >>

Texans Draft Recap: Six Things We Learned

Few things are sillier in sports analysis than "draft grades" given before players have taken their first steps onto a professional field. Texan fans know this quite well, considering the abundance of Fs given to them by analysts in 2006 for having the gall to choose Mario Williams over the anointe ... More >>

Texans Draft Preview: Understanding Needs In A Gary Kubiak Offense

For the first time in years, the first round of the NFL Draft may not be about defense for the Texans. After spending exhaustive resources to rebuild the depleted unit, the consensus among pundits is that Gary Kubiak will use the 2012 draft to add youth to his offensive core -- namely, in the passi ... More >>

A Look Ahead To Texan Free Agency, And Why It Won't Involve Peyton Manning

It was less than a month ago when I believed the Texans would consider making a play for quarterback Peyton Manning. But on the verge of the NFL's free-agent signing bonanza on Tuesday, it looks as though any Texans' changes will be on a smaller scale -- and rightfully so. It seems clear the Texan ... More >>

Which Words Are Rappers Tired Of Rappers Using?

Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. This Week's Panel: OG Ron C, Mac, Preemo, O.N.E., Kiotti, Brad Gilmore, YS, Medicine Girl, Kyle Hubbard, Eskabel, Zavey, D-Risha, RoderickVonn Not ... More >>

Texans Offseason Blueprint: Five Moves Needed to Become AFC Favorites

​If Sunday's AFC championship proved anything, it's that the Texans with T.J. Yates were a legitimate threat to reach the Super Bowl. The same Ravens that the Texans so thoroughly dominated in Baltimore one week earlier (save mostly-unforced turnovers) had the title in Lee Evans's grasp and o ... More >>

Houston Texans "Super Bowl Tattoo Guy" Speaks in the Aftermath of the 2011 Season

In the aftermath of the Texans' 20-13 loss to the Ravens last Sunday, the question I was asked most frequently by my Twitter followers (other than the terms and conditions of Jacoby Jones's contract) was, "What do you think 'Texans Super Bowl Tattoo Guy' is thinking?" Truth be told, after any poten ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Jacoby Jones & Kareem Jackson -- The Terrorists Win Every Week

We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>

Move Over Stagger Lee, Jacoby Jones Has Something Dumber!

A bigger "oops" than Rick Perry​Last Friday, John Granato and I were breaking down the keys to the Texans' playoff game in Baltimore on our radio show on 1560 The Game. For the Texans to win the game, I thought it would be crucial for them to get a big play in the return game from either Danie ... More >>

Ravens 20, Texans 13: Historic Season Ends From Self-Inflicted Wounds

Looking ahead to the fall, finally​In the big picture, the Texans were playing with house money. With little playoff experience and on a third-string rookie quarterback, this shouldn't rank high on the list of Houston football collapses. This wasn't the Oilers in Denver and Buffalo, circa 199 ... More >>

Sunday Night: Starfucker at Fitzgerald's

"We're sorry about your football team," said Starfucker* guitarist Ryan Biornstad to the packed crowd of college-age Houstonians at Fitz, just eight hours after the Houston Texans gracefully bowed out of its first ever playoff trip. Starfucker/STRFKR/Pyramid/Pyramidd may be from Portland but the f ... More >>

The Dream Is Over: Texans' Stout Defense Can't Overcome Team's Mistakes

There is sadness in Houston​Inspiring defense by the Houston Texans, which included a clutch goal-line stand, couldn't overcome the team's mistakes as they fell 20-13 to the Ravens Sunday. T.J. Yates threw three interceptions on passes that should never have been thrown, and Jacoby Jones disa ... More >>

Texans 37, Buccaneers 9: Five Things We Learned

Photo by Marco TorresIn the immortal words of Ian Dury: Reasons to be cheerful, part three​Were it not for the heartbreak of the past 10 years, week after week of uncompetitive football might get boring. As it is, the Texans and their legion of fans will take the wins however they come. The T ... More >>

Texans/Jaguars -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Photo by Marco TorresTexans battlefought their way to a win in Battle Red​"I still don't like them, and I have no respect for them at all. It was just the dirty stuff they were doing. I don't want to get into specifics; I just don't like them. . . . I'm not going to get into names or anything ... More >>

Texans-Ravens: Five Things to Watch

Photo by Marco TorresThe Texans face a tougher test this week.​"If the Texans are 3-3 after the first six games, then we'll be happy." -- Pretty much every same Texans fan The statement is a classic example of how the ebb and flow of a season can recalibrate expectations. The Texans are set u ... More >>

Houston Texans Game 5 -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers (This Doesn't Go Well For Jacoby Jones)

Be sure to check out the rest of our pics from Sunday's game. As we were driving slowly down Murworth to park in the Teal Lot before the Texans game on Sunday, my girlfriend Amy and I noticed a father with two boys (presumably his sons) around the ages of nine or ten stopped on the sidewalk having ... More >>

In Honor Of Jacoby Jones, 7 Celebration FAIL Videos

Celebrate responsibly, people​Next man in. That's the old football saying that every coach spits out any time a player at the top of the depth chart gets hurt, basically saying there are no excuses. It's up to the next guy at that position to step in and go to work. Two weeks into the season ... More >>

Houston Texans -- Five Things to Watch Tonight Against the Vikings

At least this shouldn't happen tonight.​It's the final game of the 2011 preseason tonight with the Texans' backups taking on the Minnesota Vikings' backups in the newly inflatable-roofed Metrodome. If you're the Texans, I suppose the good news is that you're traveling to Minnesota in September ... More >>

Five Reasons To Watch The Texans Tonight

It's another big night for you, Matt Leinart​I don't know that there was ever any point during the NFL lockout where I was fearful that we wouldn't have football this season. Still, the specter of the work stoppage that loomed over us throughout thus summer made us at least ponder life without ... More >>

Houston Texans: My Way Too Early Guess At The 53-Man Roster

Everyone's favorite kind of guy​We all have that friend who not only loves to be right, but also loves to point out that they're right and then continuously remind you that he (or she -- yeah, ladies, you're guilty, too!) is right. They'll text, they'll tweet, they'll take screen shots of Spo ... More >>

Thursday NFL Free Agent Update: Is Wade Phillips Still Missing?

What's more glamorous, dude: New York or Houston?​As I type this, it's 4:36 p.m. on Thursday and the Texans' free agency activity still can be summed up as follows: 1. Backup offensive tackle Rashad Butler 2. Backup wide receiver Jacoby Jones 3. Backup Matt Leinart No cornerbacks, no safeti ... More >>

Gary Kubiak: Three Questions To Be Answered Without The Same Tired Script

Gary Kubiak: Three simple questions​The only thing that has become more predictable than the Houston Texans' collective performance each Sunday (or random Monday or Thursday) is Gary Kubiak's weekly "day after game" press conference, not surprising since the content for the latter is a direct ... More >>

Houston Texans Turn The Corner -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

Neil Rackers -- He's no Kris Brown​I shouldn't enjoy carnage as much as I do, but I have to admit that a few hours after Neil Rackers' 35-yard field goal sailed through the uprights, sending the Houston Texans to an improbable 30-27 overtime win over the Washington Redskins yesterday afternoon, My ... More >>

Game Time: Houston Texans -- Business Is Good (plus my stab at a 53-man roster)

Playoffs? Are you kidding me? Playoffs!?​At their core, the Houston Texans are a business, just like any other business, and they have customers -- you, the season ticket holders. The Texans have been above .500 for a total of eleven weeks in their history. I mean, let's face it, for the better p ... More >>

Game Time: Texans Wednesday AM Practice Report (LIVE from New Orleans!)

Land of Super Bowl champions​Safe, sound, and functioning on three hours of sleep, I am LIVE in New Orleans at the Saints practice facility in Metarie, LA covering the Texans and the Saints inter-squad practice sessions. For those unaware of the agenda, the Texans spent this morning and will spen ... More >>

Game Time: Houston Texans: Seven Things To Watch In OTA's

Photo by Mark C. AustinYou can't spell OTAs without Houston!! (And an 'A' from somewhere​My first Cushing-free football blog post in a couple weeks -- now I know how Pedro Gomez felt after Barry Bonds retired. "What the hell am I going to talk about???"Thankfully, the Texans start voluntary organ ... More >>

Texans 34, Patriots 27: Progress But No Playoffs

Photo by Mark C. Austin​The Texans legitimately won nine games. The New York Jets legitimately won seven. The Texans displayed tremendous heart on Sunday in rallying past a Patriots team playing its starters and remaining aggressive almost throughout, while the Jets were given a handout for ... More >>

Game Time: At That Moment, Jerry....I Tell You, The Texans WERE A Playoff Team!

"So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified! But I pressed on and as I made my way past the breakers a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things but I tell you Jerry at that moment I was a marine bio ... More >>

Why The Texans Losing Owen Daniels Isn't As Bad As You Think

Photo courtesy of Brit_2​For most teams, a season-ending injury to arguably the NFL's best receiving tight end would be considered a devastating loss. But to the Texans, the absence of Owen Daniels may not be all that significant. Sure, Sunday's come-from-behind, 31-10 romp over Buffalo was ... More >>

The Top Five Ballsiest Actors From Texas

Dear Diary: Somebody Save the Houston Texans from Themselves

Sports Columnist Smackdown: John Royal Writes Back

Madonna Shines Ray of Light on Texans

Mean Joe Greene Meets Avril Lavigne: Texans-Cowboys from the Press Box