Jacoby Jones

Texans Better. Mario, Not So Much.

Mean Joe Greene Meets Avril Lavigne: Texans-Cowboys from the Press Box

Madonna Shines Ray of Light on Texans

Long Snaps with Bryan Pittman: Sashimi, Indy and Ignorance

Sports Columnist Smackdown: John Royal Writes Back

Dear Diary: Somebody Save the Houston Texans from Themselves

The Top Five Ballsiest Actors From Texas

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Hooters and Houston Texans

I'm in a Hooters in downtown Phoenix, Arizona and the Houston Texans are losing to the Oakland Raiders. And I'm the only one in the place watching the game. The requisite Redskins fans are scattered about, watching the Redskins on a majority of the TVs - really, is there any place besides Dall ... More >>

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Hooters and Houston Texans

I'm in a Hooters in downtown Phoenix, Arizona and the Houston Texans are losing to the Oakland Raiders. And I'm the only one in the place watching the game. The requisite Redskins fans are scattered about, watching the Redskins on a majority of the TVs - really, is there any place besides Dall ... More >>

At Long Last, Texans Play According to Plan

​For a franchise that has spent its entire existence searching for signs of turning a corner, the Texans on Sunday showed as many as they ever have. On the field, the Texans did what they never seem to do - win big in a game they're supposed to, routing the hapless Raiders 29-6 at Reliant St ... More >>

Why The Texans Losing Owen Daniels Isn't As Bad As You Think

Photo courtesy of Brit_2​For most teams, a season-ending injury to arguably the NFL's best receiving tight end would be considered a devastating loss. But to the Texans, the absence of Owen Daniels may not be all that significant. Sure, Sunday's come-from-behind, 31-10 romp over Buffalo was ... More >>

Game Time: Kick In The Junk...Wide Left

​I woke up Sunday morning thinking that things had to get better. After a week that started off with a right cross from Kobe, a left hook from the Yankees, and a sucker punch in the junk from Notre Dame, I thought surely these events were just karmic balance for what was going to be the biggest w ... More >>

Texans 34, Patriots 27: Progress But No Playoffs

Photo by Mark C. Austin​The Texans legitimately won nine games. The New York Jets legitimately won seven. The Texans displayed tremendous heart on Sunday in rallying past a Patriots team playing its starters and remaining aggressive almost throughout, while the Jets were given a handout for ... More >>

Game Time: At That Moment, Jerry....I Tell You, The Texans WERE A Playoff Team!

"So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified! But I pressed on and as I made my way past the breakers a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things but I tell you Jerry at that moment I was a marine bio ... More >>

Game Time: Houston Texans: Seven Things To Watch In OTA's

Photo by Mark C. AustinYou can't spell OTAs without Houston!! (And an 'A' from somewhere​My first Cushing-free football blog post in a couple weeks -- now I know how Pedro Gomez felt after Barry Bonds retired. "What the hell am I going to talk about???"Thankfully, the Texans start voluntary organ ... More >>

Game Time: Texans Wednesday AM Practice Report (LIVE from New Orleans!)

Land of Super Bowl champions​Safe, sound, and functioning on three hours of sleep, I am LIVE in New Orleans at the Saints practice facility in Metarie, LA covering the Texans and the Saints inter-squad practice sessions. For those unaware of the agenda, the Texans spent this morning and will spen ... More >>

Game Time: Houston Texans -- Business Is Good (plus my stab at a 53-man roster)

Playoffs? Are you kidding me? Playoffs!?​At their core, the Houston Texans are a business, just like any other business, and they have customers -- you, the season ticket holders. The Texans have been above .500 for a total of eleven weeks in their history. I mean, let's face it, for the better p ... More >>

Houston Texans Turn The Corner -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

Neil Rackers -- He's no Kris Brown​I shouldn't enjoy carnage as much as I do, but I have to admit that a few hours after Neil Rackers' 35-yard field goal sailed through the uprights, sending the Houston Texans to an improbable 30-27 overtime win over the Washington Redskins yesterday afternoon, My ... More >>

Texans 31, Raiders 24: With A Running Game Like This, Johnson Has Time To Rest

Photo by Aaron M. SprecherMario Williams kept up the pressure​It only took one offseason and one Arian Foster to transform the Texans' running game from shaky to the club's foundation.As a result, the Texans on Sunday allowed star wideout Andre Johnson to rest his ailing ankle and saw their offens ... More >>

Giants 34, Texans 10: Another Tough Defense, Another Breakdown For The Houston Offense

Texans: Let's not get physical​We knew the Texans' young defense could have games like this. A second disastrous performance in five outings for the supposedly-elite Houston offense, however, is incredibly concerning.The numbers are baffling. 195 total yards. 1.6 yards per rush with what had been ... More >>

Texans 35, Chiefs 31: Johnson Returns To Form, And So Does The Offense. But...

Winning a squeaker​With Andre Johnson's ankle seemingly healthy again, the Texans' offense on Sunday silenced concerns about its ability to remain among the NFL's elite.That might mean something if head coach Gary Kubiak and defensive coordinator Frank Bush can find a way for their defense to not ... More >>

The Year In Battlefight: 25 Thoughts On This Year's Houston Texans

At least the Texans cheerleaders are worth watching​For some reason, there were many people out there who thought the Houston Texans were going to be a good team this year. Playoff good.I didn't read anything about Gary Kubiak getting a brain implant during the off-season, so I could never u ... More >>

Gary Kubiak: Three Questions To Be Answered Without The Same Tired Script

Gary Kubiak: Three simple questions​The only thing that has become more predictable than the Houston Texans' collective performance each Sunday (or random Monday or Thursday) is Gary Kubiak's weekly "day after game" press conference, not surprising since the content for the latter is a direct ... More >>

Hey Texans, Has Anybody Checked On Wade Phillips?

Anyone see Wade?​"I have so much more confidence. Generally, when you make any kind of change, you sort of hold your breath. You say, 'Boy, I hope this works out.' I'm not saying that here. It will work out. [Wade's] done it. He's been there. He's come in, he's looked at our film, we've talked ... More >>

Thursday NFL Free Agent Update: Is Wade Phillips Still Missing?

What's more glamorous, dude: New York or Houston?​As I type this, it's 4:36 p.m. on Thursday and the Texans' free agency activity still can be summed up as follows: 1. Backup offensive tackle Rashad Butler 2. Backup wide receiver Jacoby Jones 3. Backup Matt Leinart No cornerbacks, no safeti ... More >>

Houston Texans: My Way Too Early Guess At The 53-Man Roster

Everyone's favorite kind of guy​We all have that friend who not only loves to be right, but also loves to point out that they're right and then continuously remind you that he (or she -- yeah, ladies, you're guilty, too!) is right. They'll text, they'll tweet, they'll take screen shots of Spo ... More >>

Five Reasons To Watch The Texans Tonight

It's another big night for you, Matt Leinart​I don't know that there was ever any point during the NFL lockout where I was fearful that we wouldn't have football this season. Still, the specter of the work stoppage that loomed over us throughout thus summer made us at least ponder life without ... More >>

Houston Texans -- Five Things to Watch Tonight Against the Vikings

At least this shouldn't happen tonight.​It's the final game of the 2011 preseason tonight with the Texans' backups taking on the Minnesota Vikings' backups in the newly inflatable-roofed Metrodome. If you're the Texans, I suppose the good news is that you're traveling to Minnesota in September ... More >>

Vikings 28, Texans 0: Five Things We Learned

Photos by Marco TorresMatt Leinart's back-up job is safe​The short answer is that we didn't learn much. When the only quasi-starter to play is likely Number 3 corner Brice McCain and the offensive line features a free-agent guard signed two days ago, you know there isn't a lot of value. But T ... More >>

Houston Texans Game 1 -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Photo by Marco Torres​Yesterday was a great day. The NFL season kicked off, the Texans were at home, and the weather was an unseasonably cool 96 degrees in Houston, perfect tailgating weather if you can deal with pit stains and butt sweat. Oh, and the Texans beat the Colts in the opener for t ... More >>

In Honor Of Jacoby Jones, 7 Celebration FAIL Videos

Celebrate responsibly, people​Next man in. That's the old football saying that every coach spits out any time a player at the top of the depth chart gets hurt, basically saying there are no excuses. It's up to the next guy at that position to step in and go to work. Two weeks into the season ... More >>

Raiders 25, Texans 20: One Step Forward, One Step Back

Photo by Marco Torres​When one step forward is immediately followed by one step back, perpetual mediocrity is the usual result. It has defined the Gary Kubiak era of Houston Texans football, and it reared its ugly head again on Sunday. Yes, the Texans (3-2) were missing Andre Johnson and Mar ... More >>

Houston Texans Game 5 -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers (This Doesn't Go Well For Jacoby Jones)

Photo by Marco TorresThus endeth the lesson​Be sure to check out the rest of our pics from Sunday's game. As we were driving slowly down Murworth to park in the Teal Lot before the Texans game on Sunday, my girlfriend Amy and I noticed a father with two boys (presumably his sons) around the a ... More >>

Texans-Ravens: Five Things to Watch

Photo by Marco TorresThe Texans face a tougher test this week.​"If the Texans are 3-3 after the first six games, then we'll be happy." -- Pretty much every same Texans fan The statement is a classic example of how the ebb and flow of a season can recalibrate expectations. The Texans are set u ... More >>

Texans/Jaguars -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Photo by Marco TorresTexans battlefought their way to a win in Battle Red​"I still don't like them, and I have no respect for them at all. It was just the dirty stuff they were doing. I don't want to get into specifics; I just don't like them. . . . I'm not going to get into names or anything ... More >>

Texans/Browns -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Photo by Marco TorresTough day for Colt McCoy​The Texans beat the Browns soundly yesterday by a score of 30-12, and for the first time in the history of the franchise, your hometown team is three games over .500. The Texans have never tasted this rarefied air before, so I don't really know w ... More >>

Texans 37, Buccaneers 9: Five Things We Learned

Photo by Marco TorresIn the immortal words of Ian Dury: Reasons to be cheerful, part three​Were it not for the heartbreak of the past 10 years, week after week of uncompetitive football might get boring. As it is, the Texans and their legion of fans will take the wins however they come. The T ... More >>

Texans, Tebow and BCS Titles! This Weekend's 4 Winners and 4 Losers

JJ Watt, scoring machine​All right, this is starting to get ridiculous, football gods. First, you knock out Arian Foster for the first three games of the season with a hamstring injury. Then you rob us of Andre Johnson not once, but twice with injuries to each hamstring, forcing him to miss m ... More >>

The Dream Is Over: Texans' Stout Defense Can't Overcome Team's Mistakes

There is sadness in Houston​Inspiring defense by the Houston Texans, which included a clutch goal-line stand, couldn't overcome the team's mistakes as they fell 20-13 to the Ravens Sunday. T.J. Yates threw three interceptions on passes that should never have been thrown, and Jacoby Jones disa ... More >>

Ravens 20, Texans 13: Historic Season Ends From Self-Inflicted Wounds

Looking ahead to the fall, finally​In the big picture, the Texans were playing with house money. With little playoff experience and on a third-string rookie quarterback, this shouldn't rank high on the list of Houston football collapses. This wasn't the Oilers in Denver and Buffalo, circa 199 ... More >>

Sunday Night: Starfucker at Fitzgerald's

Photos by Barry Sigman​"We're sorry about your football team," said Starfucker* guitarist Ryan Biornstad to the packed crowd of college-age Houstonians at Fitz, just eight hours after the Houston Texans gracefully bowed out of its first ever playoff trip. Starfucker/STRFKR/Pyramid/Pyramidd m ... More >>

Move Over Stagger Lee, Jacoby Jones Has Something Dumber!

A bigger "oops" than Rick Perry​Last Friday, John Granato and I were breaking down the keys to the Texans' playoff game in Baltimore on our radio show on 1560 The Game. For the Texans to win the game, I thought it would be crucial for them to get a big play in the return game from either Danie ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Jacoby Jones & Kareem Jackson -- The Terrorists Win Every Week

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Two Ways to Get Over the Texans' Loss on Sunday

Photo courtesy of the Houston Food BankJoshua Martinez, left, and Lyle Bento of The Modular made the best of the Texans' loss with a donation to the Houston Food Bank.​I hear the Texans lost on Sunday. I say "hear" because I couldn't bear the stress of watching the playoff game, and instead sp ... More >>

Houston Texans "Super Bowl Tattoo Guy" Speaks In The Aftermath Of The 2011 Season

Photos by Anna Megan RaleyA magical season, and tattoo​In the aftermath of the Texans 20-13 loss to the Ravens last Sunday, the question I was asked most frequently by my Twitter followers (other than the terms and conditions of Jacoby Jones' contract) was "What do you think 'Texans Super Bowl ... More >>

Texans Offseason Blueprint: Five Moves Needed to Become AFC Favorites

​If Sunday's AFC championship proved anything, it's that the Texans with T.J. Yates were a legitimate threat to reach the Super Bowl. The same Ravens that the Texans so thoroughly dominated in Baltimore one week earlier (save mostly-unforced turnovers) had the title in Lee Evans's grasp and o ... More >>

Which Words Are Rappers Tired Of Rappers Using?

Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray​This Week's Panel: OG Ron C, Mac, Preemo, O.N.E., Kiotti, Brad Gilmore, YS, Medicine Girl, Kyle Hubbar ... More >>

The Really Important Questions to Answer for the Super Bowl

So Tom Brady, is losing the Super Bowl really that bad when you get to go home to Gisele?​So it's Super Bowl week. This game featuring a rematch between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots. There will be a lot of story lines, real and imagined, developed and discussed before and ... More >>

Deontay Greenberry: A Texans-Related Grain Of Salt For College Football National Signing Day

Deontay Greenberry: No way of telling​There was a time not too long ago when the last-minute defection of wide receiver Deontay Greenberry from my alma mater Notre Dame to the University of Houston would have sent me into a mental funk that would have taken me a week from which to recover. Af ... More >>