Subject:

Jennifer Lopez

  • Blogs

    March 23, 2012

    Celebrity Tech Endorsements: 5 Cool and 5 Highly Annoying Examples Of Product Pimpage

    Celebrity endorsements are nothing new. They have been around as long as there were celebrities and companies willing to pay them to say they smoked Kool's or drove Chevy, or force us to explain to children and the elderly why we would giggle every time we saw the milk-stained upper lip of a famous ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 22, 2012

    5 Celebrity Habits You Can Give Up For Lent, Like Drinking Ranch Dressing & Anal Bleaching

    Not until Easter for us, alas​Lent hath begun. Therefore you must give up something. Yeah, you could go the old "broccoli!!" route, but that's juvenile. Instead, you should make a true sacrifice. Look to those who are most honored in our society -- celebrities -- and give up for those 40 days ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2011

    When Gravity Attacks: 13 Memorable Onstage Stumbles

    Lady Gaga kept a poker face after her Montreal fall.​Concert performances and award shows can sometimes really put the pressure on artists, who often get so nervous or excited that they may just faceplant the stage. We've complied you tube clips of some of the best mid-performance stumbles. So ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 19, 2011

    Houston Texans Game 2 -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers (And A Jennifer Lopez Appearance)

    2-0! (again)​I hope everyone had a good weekend of football. I was two plays away from going 6-0 on my picks, my alma mater finally won a game and the Texans are 2-0! On the flip side, college realignment struck a blow in my home part of the country, as the Big East that I grew up with essen ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 12, 2011

    Frances Bean Cobain's Sexy Shoot Reminds Us, Once Again, That We Are Old

    Photos from hedislimane.com unless otherwise indicatedLittle Frances Bean, all grown up, tatted-up, and smoking cigarettes.​There's a line from Knocked Up I think of often these days, when the doorman of a swanky nightclub tells big sister Debbie, "I can't let you in 'cause you're old as fuck. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 9, 2011

    Kelly Rowland Gives Jersey Nip-Slip A "Kanye Shrug"

    Uh uh... Rocks Off isn't going to go there. See here for the NSFW bits.​From the Very Important News That You Need To Know RIGHT NOW Dept: Former (current?) Houstonian Kelly Rowland, who has gone from Destiny's Child second banana to R&B's leading summer seductress behind smash single "Motivat ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 14, 2011

    Ryan Seacrest Begets a Music Festival... And The Apocalypse

    Mason Lankford said, "There will come a day when we forget the Rapture ever even happened," but Rocks Off is keeping an eye out for signs of our impending Armageddon. We were wrong last time, but we're totally right this time! Jyle Dupuis​Ryan Seacrest is a towering figure in the entertainmen ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 8, 2011

    The 10 Most Horrible Music-Biz Bosses

    ​The movie Horrible Bosses comes out today, and while the heinous supervisors in question all work in areas unrelated to entertainment, this shouldn't be taken to mean the music industry is free of bad managers and executives. Rocks Off knows if anything, the music biz has had more than its fa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 7, 2011

    Iggy Pop, the Bordeaux Connoisseur: The Funniest Food Requests on Riders

    ITO EN, you're all that I wanted in a tea.​The next time someone calls you a picky eater, direct them to Weezer's backstage rider for their 2010 tour. Weezer demands that both regular and Canadian bacon be available for breakfast, that there be almond butter but no peanut butter, that there m ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 25, 2011

    Idol Beat: The Beginning Of The End

    Billboard.com/Fox"Are these two really the best from this season?"​7:07 p.m.: Okay, so the sir who typically writes this column - Pete Vonder Haar, or, as he's also referred to: the Television Demigod - has a bit of personal business to tend to, so we're stepping in for him. I have seen exactl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 6, 2011

    Idol Beat: My Faith In A Just Universe Is Restored

    You're paying for that suit now, kid.​60 million votes. That's how many it took to ensure karmic balance in the universe and send Jacob Lusk to the American Idol equivalent of hell... which is probably an alternate dimension where Simon Cowell never existed. Last night was so chock-full of en ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 15, 2011

    Idol Beat: Paul McDonald Got Voted Off, E-I-E-I-O

    Idol's beard levels have now dropped by 50 percent.​I realized last night I've been writing about this damn show for nigh on three months now without making the obligatory comment about the size of Jennifer Lopez's ass. So here it is: During the introductions to this week's elimination show, I ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 11, 2011

    Idol Beat: The First Of The Fallen

    Fox​American Idol, the show that dares answer the question: "Who or what the hell is 'Diddy Dirty-Money?'" Ryan Seacrest kicks the show off by introducing our "beloved finalists," and I couldn't help but think of Rick's line from Casablanca ("They're not particularly my beloved finalists"). T ... More >>

  • News

    March 3, 2011

    Advertisements for Herself

    Jolanda Jones says never talk to HPD

  • Blogs

    February 24, 2011

    Idol Beat: I'm About To Have A Nervous Breakdown

    ​My head really hurts...sorry, after last night's shenanigans, I couldn't help breaking out the Black Flag. Have you ever had one of those really bad nightmares, the kind that is so horrifying it wakes you up multiple times during the night? And even though your subconscious is trying to offe ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 14, 2010

    10 Music Stories We Wish We'd Ignored This Year

    ​We in the alternative media - not necessarily the Houston Press and/or Rocks Off, not all the time - enjoy calling out our mainstream brethren. Whether it's ten books that didn't make The New York Times' "Best of 2010" list, or "10 Stories Our Print Version Accidentally Overlooked," us "under ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 26, 2010

    Why Your Customers Hate You, Baristas

    She's thinking about punching you in the chest, straight through your stupid apron.​Last week, I interviewed three of my barista friends -- two of whom remained anonymous -- about behaviors that make them want to throttle the next person in line at their java joint. Of course, as many commente ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 31, 2010

    15 Years Later, Selena's Death Still Leaves A Hole In Corpus Christi's Heart

    www.panoramio.com​ Rocks Off pretty much spent half our life down south in Corpus Christi, so it was a big deal in our family when Tejano pop star Selena Quintanilla-Perez was gunned down 15 years ago today. We grew up hearing her music on the radio down there, and you couldn't walk into a taqueri ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 22, 2010

    The Week In TV: New Cable Shows Worth Watching

    ​I'm confused by the weather, recovered from South By Southwest, and forbidden from re-enacting Ghost. This was the week in TV Land: • I'm a week behind on HBO's The Pacific. This is my own fault; between this show and others, sometimes things get put on the back burner. The good news is t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 17, 2010

    Artist Of The Week: Partying Beaumont-Style With Hellbilly Hellions The U-Joints

    Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group "Artist of the Week," bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn't awful? Email their particulars to sheaserrano@gmail.com. ​ Here are some things that ar ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 16, 2009

    Take Har Mar Superstar Seriously or Not? Your Call.

    This guy has nothing on Har Mar Superstar. The R&B singer and Ron Jeremy lookalike has worked the pink-manties look for the better part of this decade. He is, after all, a self-styled lover. Fresh off his cameo as a rival roller derby coach in Whip It (and his excellent cover of "Never My Love" ... More >>

  • Music

    May 28, 2009

    Where the Boys Are

    Guava Lamp is a good-natured gay bar in disguise.

  • Calendar

    September 4, 2008

    Megafest 2008

    Marc Anthony, Enrique Iglesias and Alejandro Fernandez lead an all-star blow-out

  • Blogs

    March 26, 2008

    Seven Deadly Sins: Celebrity Edition

    Marc Anthony, Enrique Iglesias and Alejandro Fernandez lead an all-star blow-out

  • Music

    January 31, 2008

    Floating over to Monarch Lounge

    New Money douches and Amazing Race winners at Monarch Lounge

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2007

    Go Find Something to Do, Dammit

    New Money douches and Amazing Race winners at Monarch Lounge

  • Film

    December 28, 2006

    Same Old Story

    Sequels, prequels and threequels headline Hollywood 2007

  • Calendar

    February 16, 2006

    Party in the AM

    Sequels, prequels and threequels headline Hollywood 2007

  • Music

    August 11, 2005

    John Legend, with De La Soul and Rahzel

    Saturday, August 13, at HUSH, 15625 Katy Freeway, 713-330-HUSH.

  • Calendar

    July 21, 2005

    Going for the Gold

    See how your luck pans out at the Houston Museum of Natural Science

  • Calendar

    June 30, 2005

    Explosive Action

    Get a bang for your buck this Fourth of July

  • Calendar

    June 2, 2005

    Bhangin' Party

    For fresh fusion, Turntablas on the Bayou can't be beat

  • Music

    April 28, 2005

    Mariah Carey

    The Emancipation of Mimi

  • Film

    March 25, 2004

    Jersey Hurl

    For Kevin Smith, growing up means selling out

  • Culture

    January 8, 2004

    Connect the Dots

    Laura Lark takes a jab at women's magazines

  • Film

    December 4, 2003

    Not the Sweetest Thing

    What a bad feeling -- and taste -- Honey leaves behind

  • Film

    October 9, 2003

    A Ball, Screwed

    The Coens make a '40s comedy with a Cary named Clooney

  • Music

    September 25, 2003

    Mark Ronson

    Here Comes the Fuzz (Elektra)

  • Calendar

    September 18, 2003

    Friends FLY Free

    FLY and Sandra Organ Dance Company wing it at Miller

  • Calendar

    September 4, 2003

    Fight Night

    Bones crunch this weekend at the Verizon

  • Film

    May 29, 2003

    Think Different

    Could it be that this year's crop of summer movies requires a brain cell or two?

  • Calendar

    May 22, 2003

    Doggy Style

    A poodle and a rottweiler tie the knot

  • Calendar

    June 20, 2002

    Olmos Famous

    Latin American films of all colors come to Houston

  • Film

    June 7, 2001

    Norma Rosa

    L.A.'s working class looks to serve itself in the pro-union Bread and Roses

  • Film

    August 24, 2000

    A Wasted Mind

    The Cell delves into a dark, psychotic unconscious and discovers -- a wounded child!

  • Music

    August 5, 1999

    Amplified

    Punk: The Same in Any Language

  • Film

    October 2, 1997

    Pulp Without Politics

    Can Oliver Stone leave his obsessions behind?

  • Film

    March 20, 1997

    Star Bright

    Nava paints a safe, pretty and awfully pleasant portrait in Selena

  • Film

    March 13, 1997

    Jack Squat

    Nicholson's latest falls far short of Five Easy Pieces

  • Film

    May 11, 1995

    America, America

    Nicholson's latest falls far short of Five Easy Pieces

  • More >>
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