Jerry Jones

2013 NFL Draft, First Round: 4 Winners, 4 Losers

All right, it's Friday morning, and either you're hungover from getting destroyed by the Battle-Drink BINGO drinking card for the NFL Draft or you're mentally exhausted from sweating out all the NFL Draft prop bets I shared with you earlier this week. Either way, however shitty you feel is likely my ... More >>

Comparing Tony Romo's New Deal To Matt Schaub's: The QB Contract Conundrum

Quarterback problems. They're like everyday relationships.They take on different flavors and magnitudes, but pretty much every NFL city has them. Some are theoretically good problems to have: New England's restructuring Tom Brady's contract to open up more salary cap space, Green Bay's commencing ... More >>

The Best Concerts In Houston This Weekend: Blake Shelton, Tegan & Sara, etc.

Blake Shelton Reliant Stadium, March 15 After more than a decade of climbing country music's ranks to become one of its most successful and charismatic male vocalists, Blake Shelton found himself taking a little heat not long ago when comments he made about certain "old farts" clinging to country's ... More >>

Texas In 2016: Hillary Beats Rick Perry?

At some point, Texas will give up its status as a GOP guarantee. That seems the consensus, at least. A burgeoning Hispanic population, increasing transplants from California and New York, and a youth bubble surpassed by only Utah -- all signs point toward an eventual purpling of this putative Republ ... More >>

The 25 Best Reasons To Love Texas In The Fall

Fall has arrived in Texas, and thank God. There is no better time in the Lone Star State, for so many reasons. The switch in season may be more subtle than it is in the north -- you never can get that far away from a Texas summer, after all -- but there's enough change in the air to signify that y ... More >>

Joe Nick Patoski Slam-Dunks Dallas Cowboys Tome

If there is one reason Joe Nick Patoski's books -- biographies of Selena, Stevie Ray Vaughan, and Willie Nelson -- are so good, it is his ability as a storyteller. Any decent reporter can sift news clippings and videos or interview the participants, but Patoski's style and organization turn what cou ... More >>

Texans Training Camp: Andre Johnson's Groin Becomes the Most Scrutinized Groin in Houston (Non-Stripper Division)

When I moved back to Houston in 2007 to start a career in radio, literally the first event I ever attended as a media member was the opening of Texans training camp. So excited I was for this assignment, I literally showed up at the facility like two hours before practice started at 8 a.m. My then-s ... More >>

Dez Bryant's Mom Calls 9-1-1, Vows, "I'm Going to Put an End to It Today!" (w/ AUDIO)

"I think that Dez has a chance to make the kind of impact of people that have worn this jersey before." -- Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in 2010 after bestowing the #88 jersey on wide receiver Dez Bryant Cocaine possession. Drug paraphernalia. Various mysterious brushes with assault charges through th ... More >>

UH Hires Developers for New $105 Million Football Stadium

Look at the University of Houston, acting all grown up and everything. They are so cute at that age. UH, long suffering in grand old Robertson Stadium, particularly in recent years when the football team has been, you know, actually good, finally is moving forward on a much ballyhooed stadium plan ... More >>

The Dead Rabbits

Top 10 Worst Sports Stadiums, In Honor Of ASU's "Tampon With Wings"

This week, Arizona State University unveiled artist renderings of an overhauled Sun Devil Stadium. The project, which will eliminate some 16,000 seats and install a canopy-type roof at the circa 1958 venue, was spearheaded by new ASU athletic director Steve Patterson. (If you remember, Patterson was ... More >>

5 Ways to Celebrate a Truly Decadent Fat Tuesday

You'll need a Jerry Jones poster. Trust us.​Happy Fat Tuesday! You are no doubt wondering how best to celebrate this day-before-Lent event, when you are expected to pile up enough sins to get you through the next 40 days. Here are five tips for having a truly decadent Fat Tuesday: 5. Don't l ... More >>

Forecasting the NFL Head Coach Guillotine

Your time here is done.​They call it "Black Monday." It's the day after the NFL regular season ends, when any still-employed head coach whose name has been remotely associated with the words "hot" and "seat" tiptoes cautiously into his office and hopes that there's not a box on his desk to pa ... More >>

Seven People Nearly Killed by Runaway Cart at Cowboys Stadium (w/ CRAZY Video)

Rise of the machine.​There are certain buildings in sports that are seemingly jinxed. Since the Red Sox finally got off the World Series schneid a few years back, Wrigley Field immediately comes to mind as the current titleholder for "bad luck mecca" as the Cubs haven't made a World Series in ... More >>

Dez Bryant's Unpaid-For $800,000 Jewelry Spree: State Senator Royce West Offers Lamest Defense Ever

Some tasteful Dez Bryant jewelry​Dallas Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant, who is turning out to be the epitome of a Jerry Jones-era Cowboy, is being sued for somewhere around $800,000 in debts for jewelry and tickets and other stuff. He apparently entered an agreement to "buy" all the stuff while ... More >>

Jerry's Time to Shine

Speaking truth about Super Bowl XXXVIII.

Super Bowl: Welcome to JerryWorld

Big Tex, in all his Jerry glory​The Metroplex powers-that-be are cursing the weather gods right now -- Lord knows they'd never curse the man they think is the actual God -- over the terrible conditions hitting town for Super Bowl week. And we're not just talking Steeler fans!! Ba-dum-bump. T ... More >>

Big 12 Title Game -- Loser Leaves Town

The Big 12 says goodbye to corn hats​It's probably appropriate that the most recognizable non-player/non-coach on the sidelines at the Big 12 Championship Game Saturday night was WWE Hall of Fame announcer Jim Ross because the final Oklahoma-Nebraska matchup (at least for the foreseeable futur ... More >>

Is Bob McNair Houston's Worst Sports Franchise Owner

Sad McNair is sad​No matter how beloved the owner of a sports franchise may be, there will always be plenty of reasons for fans to hate him. In a city like Houston, with three major sports franchises, there are bound to be times when owners take a beating, particularly when the teams are losin ... More >>

Four Lessons Bob McNair Can Learn From Jerry Jones

Hang with Vegas skanks, McNair, not former presidents​The week started with my begging Texans owner Bob McNair. It continued with my criticizing him. But I hate being that guy. You know the guy I'm talking about -- the guy who is constantly pointing out the flaws in others and the shortcomi ... More >>

The Dallas Cowboys' Monster.Com Listing For A New Coach

Apply at Valley Ranch​Can you do better than a 1-7 record with a team of high-priced, high-profile players? Then the Dallas Cowboys coaching job may be for you!! The Cowboys offer a beautiful training facility in suburban Dallas where no one has been horribly injured in a wind storm in well o ... More >>

Dallas Cowboys Feel The Jason Garrett Excitement!!

Hey, Wade Phillips: There may be an opening in Houston soon​The Wade Phillips Era is over in Dallas. And everywhere else, as a matter of fact. Multiple sources are reporting that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has axed Phillips in the wake of the highly entertaining rout by Green Bay last night. ... More >>

The Five Worst Musical NFL Players

myspace.com/freereignFree Reign, or "God's Revenge"​Professional football players dabbling in music? What could possibly go wrong? Glad you asked. You did ask, right? 5. Ben Utecht, Cincinnati Bengals Ben Utecht suffered a concussion while working out with the Cincinnati Bengals and decide ... More >>

The Ten Worst Songs About Cowboys

​Sunday at noon, the Dallas Cowboys and our own Houston Texans face off at Reliant Stadium. The Texans are 2-0 and the Cowboys have not won one game at all this year. The Texans have won two games, and the Cowboys do not have any wins. At all. Understandably, spirits are high this week on bo ... More >>

Five Best Dallas Cowboys Arrests, Many Of Them Sexually Related

Lance Rentzel, with his pants on​It's Cowboys Week. Just like in Green Bay, where Bears Week is always noted on the calendar, the days leading up to Sunday's game at Reliant Stadium deserve a capital W.Of course, we should be taking pity on the Cowboys. They are, after all, coached by Wade Phillip ... More >>

Will Bob McNair Kill The 2011 NFL Season?

Bob McNair & Jerry Jones may torpedo the 2011 season​As some NFL fans know, the possibility is growing that there will not be a NFL season in 2011. The reason of course is that there is currently no agreed-upon Collective Bargaining Agreement between the NFL and the players, and while they're ... More >>

License Plate Auction: The Bidding For World's Dumbest Texan Will Open Soon

Vanity plates, thy name is Texas​Ever since the state privatized its vanity license plate business a while back, the company that's taken it over has gotten more and more creative.They greatly expanded the variety of plates you could grossly overpay for, and offered a groovy online app where you c ... More >>

Game Time: Jerry Jones' Drunken Tebow Analysis -- Why I'm Conflicted

"Bill's not worth a shit, I love him....not worth a shit, but I wanted...they were on my ass so bad. They said J's gotta have a 'Yes Man,' so to get this fucking stadium, I need to bring his ass in." -- Jerry Jones, Owner, Dallas CowboysI'm about to vent a little bit and be part of the problem I'm ... More >>

Jerry Jones' Ego Triumphs Yet Again

Photo courtesy NFL​From what we've heard, Cowboys Stadium is a crap-tastic, glorified sports bar: Unless you shell out for the big-bucks seats, you're gonna be stuck way, way upstairs looking at a giant TV screen, overpaying for beers.But Jerry Jones loves his billion-dollar monument to himself. S ... More >>

Real Texans Hate The Longhorns

​It's an exciting time to be a Longhorn fan. If UT beats Alabama Thursday, it will mark only the second time in the team's storied history that they will be crowned college football champions while having black players on their roster.All of Texas is thrilled with the title chase, with the possibl ... More >>

The 10 Biggest Non-Bummers Of The Decade In Houston

​We recently took a look at the 10 Biggest Bummers of Houston's Decade; in the spirit of equal time (and the season), we now offer the 10 Biggest Non-Bummers of the Oughts.This being Houston, some of these happy developments have a not-so-happy side, but that's to be expected, we suppose.Are we mi ... More >>

Texas Bowl Takes A Step Up

​Houston's taste for college-football bowl games was soured pretty ferociously by the inanity of Mattress Mac's galleryfurniture.com Bowl. But its successor, the Texas Bowl, has proven to be a well-run, entertaining event that has drawn decent, energetic crowds without frantically papering the hou ... More >>

Lonesome Onry and Mean: We Are Not Ready for Christmas Music in October... or Ever, Really

​Let the Madness begin. No, not March Madness, nincompoop - it's October. Christmas Madness. Lonesome Onry and Mean doesn't know who officially decides these things, all we know is that it's the first week of October, Halloween hasn't even come and gone yet, but in the past 24 hours we've received ... More >>

The Aggies Know Great Architecture When They See It, Especially If It's Done By An Aggie

​Texas A&M University created an architectural award this year, the Spirit of Place medal, "envisioned as becoming one of the world's premier built-environment awards," according to a press release from the school.The university wants its new award to be "viewed in the same light" as the Stirl ... More >>

You Spend A Billion Dollars And Still Get A Crappy New York Times Review

Courtesy Dallas Cowboys​You spend over a billion dollars on something, you want to at least get a good review out of it in The New York Times.Alas, Jerry Jones, you're out of luck. As a great philosopher once said....The Times's architectural critic (named, as any Times archiectural critic should ... More >>

Oklahoma Football Gets A Houston Radio Outlet; Aggies Still Out Of Luck

​As you'll remember from our post on 1560 The Game a few weeks ago, it was mentioned that the station was in negotiations with a Big 12 Conference school to air its football games this season. Now there was some speculation (and hope) in the comments that this team would be the Aggies. But just as ... More >>

Houston Stays Alive In Bid To Host Some World Cup Games

​A few years ago, Houston memorably (and hilariously) pushed hard to host a Summer Olympics. It had as much chance of landing one as it did a Winter Olympics, but the effort persevered nonetheless.We seem to have a better shot, however, at seeing some World Cup (that's soccer, you xenophobes) acti ... More >>

Michael Irvin Brings Dallas Cowboys Reality Show to Spike TV

Are you a Dallas Cowboys fan? Are you disappointed with the way the season ended? Do you think that the problem might have a little something to do with head coach Wade Phillips? Or offensive coordinator Jason Garrett? Perhaps you're like Troy Aikman who thinks the problem is that Tony Romo spe ... More >>

Michael Irvin Brings Dallas Cowboys Reality Show to Spike TV

Are you a Dallas Cowboys fan? Are you disappointed with the way the season ended? Do you think that the problem might have a little something to do with head coach Wade Phillips? Or offensive coordinator Jason Garrett? Perhaps you're like Troy Aikman who thinks the problem is that Tony Romo spe ... More >>

The Texans-Broncos Connection: An Inter-Office Memo

From: Bob McNair, Owner To: Gary Kubiak Re: Defensive Coach Hirings Date: January 14, 2009 Gary: As you know, I've been most supportive of your work as head coach of the Houston Texans, though it might be nice if you would coach the team to a winning record. But I've tried to stay out of the ... More >>

The Texans-Broncos Connection: An Inter-Office Memo

From: Bob McNair, Owner To: Gary Kubiak Re: Defensive Coach Hirings Date: January 14, 2009 Gary: As you know, I've been most supportive of your work as head coach of the Houston Texans, though it might be nice if you would coach the team to a winning record. But I've tried to stay out of the ... More >>

Fort Worth's School Superintendent Has A Bigger Salary Than Houston's

Houston, you have been dissed by Fort Worth. Fort Worth.That cowtown up north has gone all big-time, paying its school superintendent the highest salary in the state. Abe Saavedra here in Houston has been relegated to the poverty line.Fort Worth ISD superintendent Melody Johnson received a 1.4 perce ... More >>

Houston Gets Another Final Four

They're holding the press conference right now to announce that Houston is getting another Final Four. In 2016. That's a long way away, but you take what you can get. But Dallas, of all places, will get one before us. The plan is to play in Jerry Jones' billion-dollar Cowboys stadium in 2014. ... More >>

Ten Possible Reasons for the Cowboys Missing the Playoffs

Miss Cleo’s Fearless Forecast: Super Bowl XLIII Winner Revealed!

The Year In Film

Judd Apatow's pretty good year and much more

Tuna Season

Watch our guys take on Bill Parcells and the hated Dallas Cowboys

Scoring the Super Bowl

NFL Films' music may be stirring, but these songs tell the real story of the big games

Alison Cook looks back at 1996: Year of the Rat

Vallone (Jr.) Does Dallas