Jerry Jones

Finally! Mock Draft Version 5.0

Mean Joe Greene Meets Avril Lavigne: Texans-Cowboys from the Press Box

Miss Cleo’s Fearless Forecast: Super Bowl XLIII Winner Revealed!

John Royal’s NFL Season Picks

Ten Possible Reasons for the Cowboys Missing the Playoffs

Houston Gets Another Final Four

They're holding the press conference right now to announce that Houston is getting another Final Four. In 2016. That's a long way away, but you take what you can get. But Dallas, of all places, will get one before us. The plan is to play in Jerry Jones' billion-dollar Cowboys stadium in 2014. ... More >>

Fort Worth's School Superintendent Has A Bigger Salary Than Houston's

Houston, you have been dissed by Fort Worth. Fort Worth.That cowtown up north has gone all big-time, paying its school superintendent the highest salary in the state. Abe Saavedra here in Houston has been relegated to the poverty line.Fort Worth ISD superintendent Melody Johnson received a 1.4 perce ... More >>

The Texans-Broncos Connection: An Inter-Office Memo

From: Bob McNair, Owner To: Gary Kubiak Re: Defensive Coach Hirings Date: January 14, 2009 Gary: As you know, I've been most supportive of your work as head coach of the Houston Texans, though it might be nice if you would coach the team to a winning record. But I've tried to stay out of the ... More >>

Michael Irvin Brings Dallas Cowboys Reality Show to Spike TV

Are you a Dallas Cowboys fan? Are you disappointed with the way the season ended? Do you think that the problem might have a little something to do with head coach Wade Phillips? Or offensive coordinator Jason Garrett? Perhaps you're like Troy Aikman who thinks the problem is that Tony Romo spe ... More >>

Vallone (Jr.) Does Dallas

Are you a Dallas Cowboys fan? Are you disappointed with the way the season ended? Do you think that the problem might have a little something to do with head coach Wade Phillips? Or offensive coordinator Jason Garrett? Perhaps you're like Troy Aikman who thinks the problem is that Tony Romo spe ... More >>

Michael Irvin Brings Dallas Cowboys Reality Show to Spike TV

Are you a Dallas Cowboys fan? Are you disappointed with the way the season ended? Do you think that the problem might have a little something to do with head coach Wade Phillips? Or offensive coordinator Jason Garrett? Perhaps you're like Troy Aikman who thinks the problem is that Tony Romo spe ... More >>

The Texans-Broncos Connection: An Inter-Office Memo

From: Bob McNair, Owner To: Gary Kubiak Re: Defensive Coach Hirings Date: January 14, 2009 Gary: As you know, I've been most supportive of your work as head coach of the Houston Texans, though it might be nice if you would coach the team to a winning record. But I've tried to stay out of the ... More >>

The Year In Film

Judd Apatow's pretty good year and much more

Tuna Season

Watch our guys take on Bill Parcells and the hated Dallas Cowboys

Scoring the Super Bowl

NFL Films' music may be stirring, but these songs tell the real story of the big games

Incest Is Wrong

The MFAH shamelessly hops in bed with the Houston Texans

Alison Cook looks back at 1996: Year of the Rat

The MFAH shamelessly hops in bed with the Houston Texans

Houston Stays Alive In Bid To Host Some World Cup Games

​A few years ago, Houston memorably (and hilariously) pushed hard to host a Summer Olympics. It had as much chance of landing one as it did a Winter Olympics, but the effort persevered nonetheless.We seem to have a better shot, however, at seeing some World Cup (that's soccer, you xenophobes) acti ... More >>

No More Bull

The past, present and future of the Texans breaking our hearts

Oklahoma Football Gets A Houston Radio Outlet; Aggies Still Out Of Luck

​As you'll remember from our post on 1560 The Game a few weeks ago, it was mentioned that the station was in negotiations with a Big 12 Conference school to air its football games this season. Now there was some speculation (and hope) in the comments that this team would be the Aggies. But just as ... More >>

You Spend A Billion Dollars And Still Get A Crappy New York Times Review

Courtesy Dallas Cowboys​You spend over a billion dollars on something, you want to at least get a good review out of it in The New York Times.Alas, Jerry Jones, you're out of luck. As a great philosopher once said....The Times's architectural critic (named, as any Times archiectural critic should ... More >>

The Aggies Know Great Architecture When They See It, Especially If It's Done By An Aggie

​Texas A&M University created an architectural award this year, the Spirit of Place medal, "envisioned as becoming one of the world's premier built-environment awards," according to a press release from the school.The university wants its new award to be "viewed in the same light" as the Stirl ... More >>

Lonesome Onry and Mean: We Are Not Ready for Christmas Music in October... or Ever, Really

​Let the Madness begin. No, not March Madness, nincompoop - it's October. Christmas Madness. Lonesome Onry and Mean doesn't know who officially decides these things, all we know is that it's the first week of October, Halloween hasn't even come and gone yet, but in the past 24 hours we've received ... More >>

Texas Bowl Takes A Step Up

​Houston's taste for college-football bowl games was soured pretty ferociously by the inanity of Mattress Mac's galleryfurniture.com Bowl. But its successor, the Texas Bowl, has proven to be a well-run, entertaining event that has drawn decent, energetic crowds without frantically papering the hou ... More >>

Friday Night Lights, Houston Style: Why Does Everyone Hate Katy So Much?

Photos by Paul Knight​Standing in the rain on Saturday afternoon, watching Katy High School play Atascocita in a playoff game, Hair Balls remembered something we read on the Washington Post NFL blog this past week. This question, about the Dallas Cowboys, was asked: "Why are the Cowboys So Hated? ... More >>

The 10 Biggest Non-Bummers Of The Decade In Houston

​We recently took a look at the 10 Biggest Bummers of Houston's Decade; in the spirit of equal time (and the season), we now offer the 10 Biggest Non-Bummers of the Oughts.This being Houston, some of these happy developments have a not-so-happy side, but that's to be expected, we suppose.Are we mi ... More >>

Real Texans Hate The Longhorns

​It's an exciting time to be a Longhorn fan. If UT beats Alabama Thursday, it will mark only the second time in the team's storied history that they will be crowned college football champions while having black players on their roster.All of Texas is thrilled with the title chase, with the possibl ... More >>

Game Time: I Bet On The Cowboys This Weekend, And Now I Must Go Shower

​I'm not sure why I thought Sunday would be any different for the Dallas Cowboys than every other big spot that they've been in since Tony Romo was handed the keys to the Cowboy Cadillac (complete with big-ass steer horns as a hood ornament). I mean, were two spankings of a reeling Philadelphia Ea ... More >>

Jerry Jones' Ego Triumphs Yet Again

Photo courtesy NFL​From what we've heard, Cowboys Stadium is a crap-tastic, glorified sports bar: Unless you shell out for the big-bucks seats, you're gonna be stuck way, way upstairs looking at a giant TV screen, overpaying for beers.But Jerry Jones loves his billion-dollar monument to himself. S ... More >>

Game Time: Jerry Jones' Drunken Tebow Analysis -- Why I'm Conflicted

"Bill's not worth a shit, I love him....not worth a shit, but I wanted...they were on my ass so bad. They said J's gotta have a 'Yes Man,' so to get this fucking stadium, I need to bring his ass in." -- Jerry Jones, Owner, Dallas CowboysI'm about to vent a little bit and be part of the problem I'm ... More >>

License Plate Auction: The Bidding For World's Dumbest Texan Will Open Soon

Vanity plates, thy name is Texas​Ever since the state privatized its vanity license plate business a while back, the company that's taken it over has gotten more and more creative.They greatly expanded the variety of plates you could grossly overpay for, and offered a groovy online app where you c ... More >>

Will Bob McNair Kill The 2011 NFL Season?

Bob McNair & Jerry Jones may torpedo the 2011 season​As some NFL fans know, the possibility is growing that there will not be a NFL season in 2011. The reason of course is that there is currently no agreed-upon Collective Bargaining Agreement between the NFL and the players, and while they're ... More >>

Five Best Dallas Cowboys Arrests, Many Of Them Sexually Related

Lance Rentzel, with his pants on​It's Cowboys Week. Just like in Green Bay, where Bears Week is always noted on the calendar, the days leading up to Sunday's game at Reliant Stadium deserve a capital W.Of course, we should be taking pity on the Cowboys. They are, after all, coached by Wade Phillip ... More >>

The Five Worst Musical NFL Players

myspace.com/freereignFree Reign, or "God's Revenge"​Professional football players dabbling in music? What could possibly go wrong? Glad you asked. You did ask, right? 5. Ben Utecht, Cincinnati Bengals Ben Utecht suffered a concussion while working out with the Cincinnati Bengals and decide ... More >>

The Ten Worst Songs About Cowboys

​Sunday at noon, the Dallas Cowboys and our own Houston Texans face off at Reliant Stadium. The Texans are 2-0 and the Cowboys have not won one game at all this year. The Texans have won two games, and the Cowboys do not have any wins. At all. Understandably, spirits are high this week on bo ... More >>

Dallas Cowboys Feel The Jason Garrett Excitement!!

Hey, Wade Phillips: There may be an opening in Houston soon​The Wade Phillips Era is over in Dallas. And everywhere else, as a matter of fact. Multiple sources are reporting that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has axed Phillips in the wake of the highly entertaining rout by Green Bay last night. ... More >>

The Dallas Cowboys' Monster.Com Listing For A New Coach

Apply at Valley Ranch​Can you do better than a 1-7 record with a team of high-priced, high-profile players? Then the Dallas Cowboys coaching job may be for you!! The Cowboys offer a beautiful training facility in suburban Dallas where no one has been horribly injured in a wind storm in well o ... More >>

Four Lessons Bob McNair Can Learn From Jerry Jones

Hang with Vegas skanks, McNair, not former presidents​The week started with my begging Texans owner Bob McNair. It continued with my criticizing him. But I hate being that guy. You know the guy I'm talking about -- the guy who is constantly pointing out the flaws in others and the shortcomi ... More >>

Is Bob McNair Houston's Worst Sports Franchise Owner

Sad McNair is sad​No matter how beloved the owner of a sports franchise may be, there will always be plenty of reasons for fans to hate him. In a city like Houston, with three major sports franchises, there are bound to be times when owners take a beating, particularly when the teams are losin ... More >>

Big 12 Title Game -- Loser Leaves Town

The Big 12 says goodbye to corn hats​It's probably appropriate that the most recognizable non-player/non-coach on the sidelines at the Big 12 Championship Game Saturday night was WWE Hall of Fame announcer Jim Ross because the final Oklahoma-Nebraska matchup (at least for the foreseeable futur ... More >>

Young and Homeless

"Children of God" moved readers.

HBO's Game of Thrones Will Be Awesome.
And It Will Never End.

Winter is coming...​You may or may not have heard about the new miniseries gearing up to premiere on HBO in April. If you're in any way familiar with the epic fantasy genre, you've doubtless been anticipating Game of Thrones since the project was announced back in 2007. It's based on the first ... More >>

Jerry's Time to Shine

Speaking truth about Super Bowl XXXVIII.

Super Bowl: Welcome to JerryWorld

Big Tex, in all his Jerry glory​The Metroplex powers-that-be are cursing the weather gods right now -- Lord knows they'd never curse the man they think is the actual God -- over the terrible conditions hitting town for Super Bowl week. And we're not just talking Steeler fans!! Ba-dum-bump. T ... More >>

From Bad to Worse: Dallas Gives Michael Vick a Key to the City

Dallas honors Michael Vick, for some unfathomable reason​It has not been an easy week for the city of Dallas. It started with a "once in twenty years"-ish, weeklong snow and ice storm during the one week that Dallas could least afford a snow and ice storm. It continued with sheets of said ... More >>

Dez Bryant's Unpaid-For $800,000 Jewelry Spree: State Senator Royce West Offers Lamest Defense Ever

Some tasteful Dez Bryant jewelry​Dallas Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant, who is turning out to be the epitome of a Jerry Jones-era Cowboy, is being sued for somewhere around $800,000 in debts for jewelry and tickets and other stuff. He apparently entered an agreement to "buy" all the stuff while ... More >>

So You Want to Own a Baseball Team? Baseball Financing 101

​There are a lot of stories coming out about how the Astros are going to face a long climb to respectability. About how all of the team's problems can't be solved by spending money. About how we're just going to have to be patient while Jim Crane's baseball people rebuild the mess left behin ... More >>

Seven People Nearly Killed by Runaway Cart at Cowboys Stadium (w/ CRAZY Video)

Rise of the machine.​There are certain buildings in sports that are seemingly jinxed. Since the Red Sox finally got off the World Series schneid a few years back, Wrigley Field immediately comes to mind as the current titleholder for "bad luck mecca" as the Cubs haven't made a World Series in ... More >>

Forecasting the NFL Head Coach Guillotine

Your time here is done.​They call it "Black Monday." It's the day after the NFL regular season ends, when any still-employed head coach whose name has been remotely associated with the words "hot" and "seat" tiptoes cautiously into his office and hopes that there's not a box on his desk to pa ... More >>