There's no way to say this in a ladylike fashion, so fuck it. Because someone, somewhere wants me to make middle-school boner jokes today, Chubby Checker of "Twist" fame is suing Hewlett-Packard and Palm for releasing the "Chubby Checker," an app used to estimate a dude's potential boner size by me ... More >>
Note: Elvis Presley would be 78 years old today, if he had not (supposedly) died in Memphis in August 1977. This article originally appeared as part of Rocks Off's "Elvis Week" in January 2011, and still seems plausible two years later. Do you realize that Woody Allen, Julie Andrews, the dude who w ... More >>
Nuge the Stooge knows what CIA director needed. Enough already about Gen. David Petraeus and his private harem ... err, his embedded biographer with the flashy wardrobe and bad vision. Petraeus is a patriot, a winner of wars, a brilliant strategerizer, a man dedicated to little beyond his own caree ... More >>
Chris Isaak "Beyond the Sun Tour" Arena Theatre August 28, 2012 Chris Isaak is an accomplished singer and actor. He is also, as his performance at Arena Theatre Tuesday night proved, a great dancer, a snazzy dresser and a pretty funny guy. The Houston leg of his "Beyond the Sun" tour just as easi ... More >>
From actors to designers, directors to technicians, the city's brightest talent gets its due.
Nobody is above the law - not even musicians even though some of them may think they are. However, some of their outrageous behavior has become legendary. Others have spawned rumors, killed their careers and/or made them the butt of many jokes. In fact, this makes me wonder why there is not a cele ... More >>
After taking a tumble, Mickey Gilley is back onstage.
Nutty Jerry's in Winnie has been doing a great job bringing in legacy acts like Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis, Guess Who, Mickey Gilley, Ronnie Dunn, and Blood, Sweat and Tears. But the club really got our blood pumping when they booked the Cajun wildman, Jo-El Sonnier, who plays the club Satu ... More >>
In the great 80s comedy Night Shift, there is a scene where Michael Keaton is driving down what appears to be the West Side Highway in New York in a brand new Cadillac with "Jumpin' Jack Flash" blaring from the speakers. In a bid to impress a mildly terrified Henry Winkler, Keaton attempts to demons ... More >>
Pardon the geographical pun, but besides Texas, our neighbor to the east may be the most musical state in these United States. And in terms of per capita, Louisiana, which ranks 25th in population to Texas' second, is probably second to none. Outside Nashville's Grand Ole Opry, the program m ... More >>
Ed. Note: A reader wrote in Wednesday informing us that the reason Mickey Gilley required assistance moving at Friday's show is because he fell down some stairs in a 2009 accident. After several months at TIRR, where U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is now, Gilley has resumed performing (though not play ... More >>
It's entirely possible that the Rolling Stones and Paul McCartney will each go on tour this year. With ages ranging from 63 to 69 among the four remaining core Stones, the band is obviously the oldest continuing touring rock act, capable of breaking ticket records almost 50 years into the gam ... More >>
Do you realize that Woody Allen, Julie Andrews, the dude who was in the Darth Vader suit, and Ron Paul are all the same age as Elvis Presley would be on Saturday? Look at Woody Allen next time you see him on TMZ and just think, he's as old as Elvis. In order to get in the frame of mind to t ... More >>
What is classic rock in 2010? 15 years ago, it was was the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, The Who, anything Eric Clapton touched and every band your dad played in his car while he was making out with the girls he met before your mom. That's how we know classic rock: Big riffs, big voices, in ... More >>
Lonesome, Onry and Mean waited anxiously as the appointed hour neared. We'd had this feeling around this time last year as we awaited the appearance of Shane MacGowan and the Pogues. Would MacGowan die onstage, spilling his drink? Would he be so drunk he'd make a pathetic fool of himself? We ... More >>
Last week, when Rocks Off was editing our former intern Matthew Keever's article about the worst back-to-school soundtracks when Jerry Lee Lewis' "High School Confidential" popped into our head out of the blue. Not really out of the blue, we guess, but the next thing we knew we were thinking, ... More >>
We've all seen the famous footage of Jimi Hendrix humping, burning, and finally smashing his guitar to bits at the Monterey Pop Festival in 1967. What not many people realize is he initially performed this act of musical instrument immolation some months before, at the suggestion of writer Keith ... More >>
Seven years ago this week, the Dixie Chicks had the No. 1 country single in the U.S. with Bruce Robison's lump-raising "Travelin' Soldier." Meanwhile, in Washington, D.C., the Bush Administration was putting the finishing touches on its Iraqi invasion strategy, which prompted Chicks lead singer Nat ... More >>
Lonesome Onry and Mean vaguely remembers someone telling us a couple of years ago that Las Vegas bookies actually had a line on whether Chuck Berry would die that year (we think it was 2007). The macabre factor aside, remembering this Wednesday got LOM to pondering about the Godfathers of Rock an ... More >>
Photos by Jay Lee It took Aftermath most of Friday to figure out why we were in such an awful blue funk after Thursday's Pogues show, especially after the band delivered a more brilliant set than even this 20-year fan thought they were capable of. But after leaving work early and relaxing for a w ... More >>
So R. Kelly's newest single is called "Number One." Seriously? Okay, we know Kelly was found innocent of all child-related golden-shower charges by a jury of 12 idiots, but when the subject of Dave Chappelle's "(I Wanna) Piss On You" releases a single called "Number One"... sorry, but we have to be ... More >>
Above, Method Man talks about his pellet-gun accuracy, which was a little off the night he allegedly shot Houstonian Mary Anderson, who is now suing him on several counts including assault. Besides playing House of Blues Friday with Redman and Ghostface, looks like Meth will spend some time in Hous ... More >>
It's a story well-told in Beatles lore. Reeling from the Fab Four's unraveling, a bored John Lennon accepted an invitation to perform at the Toronto Rock 'n Roll Revival show in September 1969. He quickly formed an ad hoc group of friends (wife Yoko Ono, Eric Clapton on guitar, Klaus Voorman on bass ... More >>
Via Bayou, the Beaumont Enterprise's lively blog, we got directed to an old posting on the Octane Radio Network.And let's just say -- they don't make police concerts like they used to. In 1957 -- when Rock and Roll was still the Devil's Music -- the Beaumont cops bring in Johnny Cash and Jerry Lee ... More >>
Photos by Craig HlavatyWith a roaring fire pit outside and the Schlitz flowing freely inside, three-piece Ka-Nives put on a one-off gig in a corner of the Heights' Big Star Bar late Saturday night. The erstwhile Austin plumbing enthusiasts tore through a short set of their Jerry Lee Lewis-cum- ... More >>
Dead to Rights
What a few musicians want under their trees this year
The picture Delicious Milk sent Rocks Off was just slightly NSFW, but you can see for yourself here. Well, Rocks Off doesn't know about that, but the mysterious Montrose-dwellers certainly are the most persistent, not to mention possibly the most mammary-fixated musicians on the planet. DM has ... More >>
Joe Ely performs on Thursday, December 28, at Fitzgerald's, 2706 White Oak, 713-862-3838.
The King Khan & BBQ Show will appear Sunday, October 29, at Rudyard's, 2010 Waugh Dr. Call 713-521-0521 for more info. The Detroit Cobras also appear.
The Devil You Know
Rockin' Bones: 1950s Punk & Rockabilly
Thursday, August 11, at Walter's on Washington, 4215 Washington Avenue, 713-869-2727.
A Grain of Sand (MoonHouse Records)
Saturday, August 2
Houston piano man Ezra Charles has outlasted even his worst enemies
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