Jersey Shore

Why You Shouldn't Apply For That New EDM Reality Show

Dear Rocks Off: Have you heard about this EDM reality show that some TV producers are trying to put together? I heard about it online but when I told my friends I wanted to enter they told me it was a really bad idea. I bet they're just being haters, but before I fill out this application can you t ... More >>

Advice on Handling Hurricane Sandy From the Gulf Coast (i.e. Hurricane Central)

Hey, East Coast, how you doin'? Sorry, our Jersey accent is a little rusty. We along the Gulf Coast have been watching with interest the furor over Hurricane Sandy as it makes its way towards the Jersey Shore. Maybe the hurricane wants to do some gambling. Maybe it wants to renact the entire movie S ... More >>

Comment of the Day: This Is Latina "Reality" TV?

We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>

The Jersey Shore People Are Looking for (Stereotypical) Latinas

Not content with the sociological experiment that is Jersey Shore, producers are on the hunt for women who want to take part in a reality series called Living Latina Loco. How "real" will the reality be? The casting Web site says you'll be considered if "you have perfectly arched eyebrows, you use ... More >>

Friday Night: Childish Gambino At House Of Blues

Childish Gambino House of Blues April 6, 2012 "Real G's only; don't fuck up my alphabet." -- Childish Gambino, "It's On" Childish Gambino is Donald Glover and Donald Glover is Troy from a television show called Community and Troy from a television show called Community is funny as eff and that's g ... More >>

Our House

Rocks Off's Ultra-Hip Rodeo Concert Guide: Enrique Iglesias

Date: March 6 Name: Enrique Iglesias AKA: "What happened to your mole?" Genre: Music to throw panties onstage to

"Gulf of America"? Don't Stop There! Five More Equally Sane Name Changes Needed

A Mississippi lawmaker has completely and utterly disgraced Texas politicians by being the first to introduce legislation to change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. And not because, as Stephen Colbert once put it when he made the same suggestion, "we broke it, we bought it." ... More >>

Clouds Are Ghosts: Harbinger Heralds Brilliance

We got into the Clouds are Ghosts while deconstructing their band name. It was clear when we heard their work that the band was good, we compared them to Legendary Pink Dots and the Irrespressibles and that is some of our highest praise. The only problem we ever had with their output was that the wh ... More >>

Taking Apart Yesterday's Facebook Music Screed

​Yesterday, about a half-dozen of my Facebook friends forwarded a gloom-and-doom listicle from a site called Buzzfeed entitled "12 Extremely Disappointing Facts About Popular Music." Now up to over one million hits, the doom-and-gloom piece is subtitled "This is the saddest thing you'll read a ... More >>

Concrete Blonde's Johnette Napolitano (Part 2) On Social Media & Peter Criss

​Today Rocks Off continues our discussion with Concrete Blonde's bassist/lead vocalist Johnette Napolitano. Part One of our interview can be found here. The band will perform at Fitzgerald's this Sunday, October 30, with Girl In a Coma. RO: In talking about cultural differences between Amer ... More >>

Top 5 Food Inspired Moments in Television

Food and television. My two favorite things in life. I mean, besides family and friends, of course. Anyway, some of the greatest scenes in television are based around food, as evidenced by this season's rum-ham filled It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode. Feeling inspired myself, I made a list ... More >>

Lions of Tsavo Hate Your Puny Humanity

​For a while, Rocks Off worked at our day job with our drummer, and we would play a game involving the band we were writing about that day. We'd come running over to his desk in our socks and scream out the name of the band, and he would guess the genre. If you would be so kind, could you guy ... More >>

Pop Rocks: The Case For Internet Piracy

Well, not always.​What follows is a more or less accurate transcript of a conversation I had yesterday: Me: Looks like that charity album for Japan raised $5 million. Not bad. They: Which one, Songs for Japan? I downloaded that last week. Me: You...downloaded a charity album? They: No! I mean ... More >>

Is Ashley Judd Really Sorry For What She Said About Rap?

The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place - lots of times, you're even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good - so once a week we're going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Something you always wanted to ask a rapper? Email introducingliston@gmail.com ... More >>

Top 5 Albums: Duran Duran

​It's Duran Duran Day in Houston, everybody. Word has it that fans are already lining up at Warehouse Live for the band's sold-out club show, and you can bet that it will be a hot evening inside the venue until the last strains of "Rio" echo out onto the street after the lights come up. We h ... More >>

Final Four Visitors: Ten Alternative Places to Visit in Houston

You can skip the Beer Can House​So, you've made it to town for the Final Four and you are shocked to find out there are no tumbleweeds, we all aren't walking around in 10-gallon hats and the area surrounding downtown and the medical center is not filled with strip malls and urban decay. Welcom ... More >>

Joe Ely Band, Mike Stinson

Getting Past the Bouncer

Local nightclub door policies aren't always black and white

Last Night: Free Energy At Fitzgerald's

Photos by Marc Brubaker​Free Energy Fitzgerald's February 3, 2011 See pics from last night's set in our slideshow. "This cold does some crazy shit to Houston," remarked Free Energy front man Paul Sprangers to his sparse but devotedly enthusiastic Fitzgerald's crowd Thursday. The band played ... More >>

Joe Ely's Top Five Live Shots, By iFest's Rick Mitchell

Jason WolterJoe Ely (left) and David Grissom at iFest 2010​Next Friday, Feb. 11, the Joe Ely Band returns to Rockefeller Hall for the first time in more than a decade, since the legendary Washington Avenue showcase club stopped presenting live music to focus on the less risky business of priva ... More >>

Comment of the Day

​When Joanna O'Leary wrote that she didn't like admitting her love for Little Pappasito's, some commenters were angry, including csoakley, who wrote, "So for all of you foodies, you can all go to hell. I'm going to Pappasito's!!" But after some back and forth, csoakley decided to join the fun: ... More >>

The Situation is Making Us Fat

He may be a tool, but, unlike most of us, he ain't fat.​Americans are voyeurs. We like to watch. Since the invention of the television, it has been the choice for peering into the world outside our living room and, despite the popularity of streaming video and the Internet in general, TV is ... More >>

2000 - 2010: A DECADE TO FORGET

How Things Went Downhill

ACL: What Could Possibly Be Worse Than Last Year's Mudbath?

Mark C. AustinCan't WAIT to go back!​In exactly one week, Rocks Off will be broadcasting live from the Austin City Limits Music Festival in Austin's Zilker Park. This will be our fourth spin around the grounds since 2007, and every year we swear we won't fall in love with a bartender in the me ... More >>

Game Day Recipes That Won't Have You Sidelined

epicurious.com​There are so many reasons to love the Fall. At the top of our list: the return of football. We can't wait to get together with old friends from college so we can get drunk, jump around, and shout obscenities at a bunch of kids on TV (which is happens to be what we do alone watch ... More >>

Pop Rocks: A World Without Oprah

So long, suckers.​The 25th and final season of The Oprah Winfrey Show kicked off yesterday with a John Travolta dance number, an appearance by Paul Simon (of "and Garfunkel" fame, not the deceased U.S. Senator), and an announcement that Oprah would take the 300 studio audience members in atten ... More >>

Last Night: Billy Idol At House Of Blues

Photos by Marc Brubaker​Billy Idol House of Blues August 25, 2010 See a slideshow of snarls and sweat from last night's show. Hot in the city. Tonight. Billy Idol, that ever-grinning Dorian Gray of rock and roll, didn't really need to yell "Sweat! Sweat! Sweat!" during "Dancing With Myself" ... More >>

Last Night: Matisyahu At House Of Blues

Photos by Groovehouse​Matisyahu House of Blues July 27, 2010 8:54 p.m.: Man, we totally underestimated the market for American Hassidic Jewish reggae musicians. This place is packed. 8:56: Dub Trio is on stage. They're a fairly impressive trio from Brooklyn. Not Beastie Boys impressive, but ... More >>

Last Night: The Cool Tour At Verizon Wireless Theater

Photos by Matthew Keever​As I Lay Dying, UnderOath, Between the Buried and Me, Bless the Fall Verizon Wireless Theater July 27, 2010 Tuesday night, Aftermath witnessed a few things we didn't expect to see: A lot of fans who were extremely drunk before the sun even set, the loneliest mosh pit ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Why You Should Be Watching The Good Guys

​We're in the doldrums, people. Nothing but baseball until August, craptastic "blockbuster" movies for the next two months...hell, even the World Cup is a bore now unless you're lucky enough to have an ancestral connection to one of the remaining teams (go Germany!). What we need is a decent s ... More >>

The Week In TV: Enjoy Hulu While It Lasts

The good stuff won't be free for much longer.​My backyard flooded, I went half-blind on fireworks, and I am exponentially losing my agility. This was the week in TV Land: • As if to taunt my very desires, Hulu announced last week that it's launching Hulu Plus, a paid version of the site th ... More >>

Happy Hour Scene: Absolve Wine Lounge

Photos by Bryan Williams​The Place: Absolve Wine Lounge 920 Studemont St. 281-501-1788 www.absolvewinelounge.com The Hours: Seven days a week 4-7 p.m.; all day Wednesday. The Deals: Selected wines -- the bar carries about 150 labels -- start at $7 a glass and get cheaper. Domestic beers are ... More >>

Dirty Old Town: Web Site Has Houston Douchebags For Days... And Days...

thedirty.comEven Houston's Todo Moto crew is not safe from The Dirty.​ Rocks Off may be a little late to the game on this, but holy shit, we love The Dirty's Houston section and have been trolling the site for most of the day. It's a site dedicated to exposing douchery and general shittiness for r ... More >>

Sunday in River Oaks, Feeling Broke

​We were sipping martinis at La Griglia in River Oaks this weekend before going to the River Oaks Theatre. Sitting on the patio, we could watch all the plastique boobs and rainmakers pull up. Who needs Jersey Shore when you have hot spots like this? They were serving apple martini's like was ' ... More >>

Five Spring Break Movies To Avoid Like A Mexican Border Town

Next week begins the high point of Spring Break, meaning -- when you take into account the early-Friday exits -- that today is the last full day for a lot of people.There's no better way to get ready for Spring Break than by watching Spring Break movies. These can be dangerous waters to step into, h ... More >>

The Death Of The Kay-For-Governor Effort, In Five Telling Moments

​The campaign of Governor Rick Perry has been gleefully sending out "pre-bituaries" -- in other words, stories analyzing what went wrong with Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison's gubernatorial race.Barring an upset of Truman-like proportions, the only question remaining in tomorrow's primary will be whe ... More >>

Winner, Winner, Turkey Dinner!

​We have more than just concert tickets and t-shirts to give away at tonight's Washington Shore party -- giving you even more reason to come out and drink with us. For each drink you purchase at the party tonight, you'll get a raffle ticket from your friendly Washington Avenue Drinkery barten ... More >>

'Scuse Me While I Kiss the Sky

Comedy and jazz commingle downtown in the clouds (or smog, whatever).

Game Time: A Radio Programming Question...Please Let Me Help You

​We all have certain things that are on our sports "bucket list," and whether it's because I've loved football from the time I was in diapers or whether it's because I am now in a line of work where it seems like everyone except me has been to one, attending a Super Bowl is at or near the top of m ... More >>

Stirred and Shaken

Rebels Honky Tonk's Mother-Effer

Stirred and Shaken: Rebels Honky Tonk's Mother-Effer

Photo by Troy Fields​At Rebels Honky Tonk (5002 Washington, 713-862-7172), the classics are relegated to the bathroom. The record jackets mounted on the men's-room wall feature the likes of Willie Nelson and Marty Robbins, but on a recent Wednesday night a couple KILT-FM DJs were pumping nothi ... More >>

Five Spot: We Beat Down a Burglar, and New Music From Paul, Jay'Ton, Devin, Bun, Pimp and Coota

Welcome back to Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and, albeit sometimes awkwardly, tie it to a bit of Houston rap. It's five videos and occasional cussing. Send tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. ​I caught somebody trying to break into my house Wednesday. And I pu ... More >>

Jersey Shore: Exile In Guidoville

​MTV has a great deal to answer for -- reducing our attention span to half-second jump cuts and paving the way for American Idol for starters -- but the network still erroneously referred to as Music Television might have finally trumped itself in sheer loathsomeness with their latest foray into ... More >>

This Week In TV: Horrible, Horrible People

I'm recovered from the snow, I'm trying to convince people that "Dick in a Box" qualifies as Christmas music, and I've got a hole in my heart from eating batteries. This was the week in TV Land: • 30 Rock was cute this week, though the bit about Frank turning into Liz was a little lifeless. But ... More >>

Jaws

The River Oaks Theatre screens the first summer blockbuster

Best Custard

Kohr Brothers, Marq*E Entertainment Center

Soft and Crabby

Summer's the right time for many things -- but none better than soft-shell supping