Jim Crane

PR 101: The Astros Could Learn a Lot From Other Houston Team Owners

Fame has a fifteen minute half-life, infamy lasts a little longer. - The Insider Owners of sports franchises never have it easy. From Charlie Thomas to Les Alexander, John McMullen to Drayton McLane, Bud Adams to, yes, even Bob McNair, fans are ruthless and we're talking Houston, not Philadelphia o ... More >>

My Reply To The Astros' Statement About The Cancellation Of The Wives' Gala

"There's such a thing... as manners. A way of treating people. These fish have manners." -- Jerry Maguire There is no easy way to disband an event like the Astros Wives' gala, a fantastic annual spectacle that's simultaneously raised over $4 million in 23 years for the Houston Area Women's Center w ... More >>

The Houston Aeros Are No More, R.I.P.

The Houston Aeros lost 7-0 to the Grand Rapids Griffins in Grand Rapids on Saturday night. With the loss the Aeros are done for this season, having lost the deciding game of round one of the AHL Calder Cup playoffs. And with the loss, the Houston Aeros are done in Houston. They are no more. The nex ... More >>

Jim Crane? The Astros Need A Bill Veeck

It's a depressing time to be a fan of the Houston Astros. The team's bad. The starting pitchers have trouble getting through the first inning. The games aren't currently available to most of the viewing public (yesterday's free CSN Houston offering notwithstanding). The new radio team actually makes ... More >>

One Man's (Idiotic?) 2013 Baseball Predictions

The major league baseball season opened up on Sunday night with the Rangers traveling to Rangers Ballpark in Arlington South to face the Astros. Most of the teams started up yesterday, and the rest of the league will get underway today. With the season getting underway, it's time once again to make ... More >>

The Astros Start Play On Sunday: Does Anyone Really Care?

The 2013 season begins for the Astros on Sunday night when the Astros host the Texas Rangers on ESPN. And frankly, I'm at the point with Jim Crane and flunkies that I really don't give a damn. Is anyone really excited about this Astros season? The team is going to be bad. The owner and his minions ... More >>

The Astros: Out of Their League?

The Houston Astros take on a new season in a tough division with things all-new — uniforms, owner, manager, team and rules — not to mention a new/old mascot. And road trips to Dallas.

Who Needs The Astros When You Have The Cougars And Owls?

Houston Astros owner Jim Crane is tired of fan complaints about the crappiness of the Houston Astros. Give him $10 million and he'll gladly listen, but otherwise, just pay the team's highly inflated prices for Opening Day and shut up. It's not a very fan-friendly approach to take, especially when he ... More >>

The Adventures of Jim Crane, and Other Astros Spring Training Things to Know

It's all over tomorrow. The Astros off-season is finally ending. It might only be a spring training game, but after a winter of trades and new coaches and just a general reshuffling of the team, the Astros are finally going to get to play a game against another team. And they'll finally get to wear ... More >>

The Astros Will Suck, But They Do Have A Good Plan

The Houston Astros are a subject of much derision. They're a bad team with very few, if any, names on the roster recognizable to the average fan. They'll probably struggle to win 60 games. And there are national writers who think that the Astros are an embarrassment to baseball. I'm often critical ... More >>

Jim Crane and Charlie Finley: The Future Through The Past

A man buys a baseball team. He alienates the fans. He trades away all of the veterans with big contracts and attempts to build a team through the farm system. There's the threat of a forced move to another league. The other owners not wanting him in their club. And the commissioner treats him like a ... More >>

Will The Astros Losses Still Count If You Can't Watch The Games?

If the Astros lose 100-plus games again this season, and nobody can see them play those games, do the losses really happen? If the Astros lose 100-plus games again this season, and nobody can watch it happen, will anybody really care? That's a bit of an exaggeration. People will be able to watch th ... More >>

Looking Forward To The Astros In 2013

With 2012 coming to an end, let's kiss this lost year of the Astros goodbye and take a look at what's coming in 2013. The key word is "new," as in new uniforms, new logos, new TV network, new broadcasters, new players, new manager and coaches, and on, and on, and on. 5. Welcome to the American Lea ... More >>

25 Ways to Replace Jim Deshaies; You're Welcome, Astros!

As you know by now, Jim Deshaies has left the Astros, and is joining the Chicago Cubs broadcasting crew. In many ways, that's like making the jump from AAA to the majors since WGN is seen nationally while Comcast Sports Net Houston is seen just about nowhere. Now with Deshaies gone, the Astros are h ... More >>

Hey Astros Fans, It's Free Agency Time

Tonight's the night Astros fans. Tonight's the night the Astros can start snapping up free agents from throughout baseball. Tonight's the night Jim Crane, with all of the money he's saved by dumping the team's high-priced veterans last season and with all of the money's he's going to make off the te ... More >>

Teen Wanted To Shoot Up Katy School

We Dared To Go: The Astros Last Home Game Of A Godawful 2012, And the End Of Several Eras

Check out our slideshow of Milo Hamilton saying goodbye and more during the Astros' final 2012 home game. Astros fans probably knew back in April that they would have a hard row to hoe this year, but even still, every April brings out a sense of optimism in fans, and the unspoken concept that maybe ... More >>

Tonight: The End Of An Astros Era (Last Chance To See National League, Old Uniforms, Bill Brown, Etc.)

For many, the end of this year's Houston Astro season -- much like last year's Astro season -- could not come soon enough. There are only so many 100-loss campaigns even the most diehard fans can be expected to endure, after all. (In case you are keeping score at home, the Astros are 42 and a half ... More >>

9 Ways To Get Astros Fans In The Seats

I admit that I have only seen two Houston Astros baseball games at Minute Maid Park this year. It's not as if their losing and heartbreaking ways are keeping me away though. It's always been an evening option for me, but I rarely take the 'Stros up on the offer of a night of Kiss Cams and stale nach ... More >>

The Return of Roger Clemens and Some Other Dumb Ideas for Jim Crane

I've been onboard with most of what the Houston Astros have done this season. The team needed to be blown up. New blood was needed in the front office, the dugout, and on the roster. All that has happened, and though the team has been bad, the promise of the future has kept me invested in this team. ... More >>

Astros Put Fans Out Of Their Misery And Fire Brad Mills

So the Astros bloodletting continued this weekend. Manager Brad Mills, hitting coach Mike Barnett, and first base coach Bobby Meacham were fired after Saturday night's embarrassing lost to the Arizona Diamondbacks. The firing of Mills was expected (as was the firing of most of the coaching staff) th ... More >>

The Houston Astros Are Seeking The Added Dimensions Of Roger Clemens; We Offer 20

You're the new owner of a major league baseball team. And you come with a bunch of baggage attached. Baggage like war profiteering and various EEOC charges involving sexist and racial statements and actions directed toward your employees. Your team is bad, and there are large portions of your fan ba ... More >>

Rockets Mediocrity: Blame the Strategy of the Owner

There's something unholy about a team playing out the string of games knowing it won't make the playoffs. It's even weirder when said team felt its season end with a thud after a horrid stretch of games that lasted right up until the second-to-last game of the year. Going one step farther, that game ... More >>

Baseballs, Wieners and Ketchup

Spring training is just around the corner. The players are oiling up their gloves, creasing their brims and preparing to chew, spit and rearrange themselves through another 162 games. I love baseball. I don't care that it is the slowest and most idiosyncratic of all professional sports. The on ... More >>

20 Modest Fan Suggestions for Jim Crane

The word from on-high came earlier this week when the Houston Astros announced that Jim Crane had heard the voice of the fans and thus would not be changing the team's name. It's nice that Crane paid some attention to the people who buy tickets (though it does seem strange to see how many people co ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Astros Name Change Edition

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

5 Musicians Who Changed Their Names to Inspire Jim Crane and the Astros

​This week, the new owner of the Houston Astros Jim Crane opened Pandora's Box of Hearty Suggestions For A Struggling Franchise and discussed changes to the team. Cheap beer (yay!), cheaper seats (double yay!) should be one of the first things but Crane suggested that the Astros do the unthink ... More >>

Shhhhh, Don't Tell Anyone, but the Rockets Are Playing Really Well

While everyone was cheering on the Texans and fretting about whether or not Jim Crane would go completely nuts and change the Astros to the Craniums, a funny thing was happening at Toyota Center. The Rockets were winning. They have won their last seven games and are 8-2 in the last ten. During this ... More >>

The Astros Lowering Ticket and Beer Prices, Maybe Changing Unis and the Name?

I've written a lot of snark about Jim Crane in the months since he purchased the Astros. And let's be honest, I'll probably have a lot more snark in the days, months and years ahead. But let's be more honest, there's a lot that Crane has done with this team since assuming full control of the franc ... More >>

The Astros May Be Changing Their Name? My 5 Suggestions

Yesterday afternoon, Astros owner Jim Crane built up more good will with the Houston community in about eight minutes than the team on the field has in the last six years when he announced that the 2012 season will feature cheaper beer ($5 beers!), cheaper tickets and permission to bring your own f ... More >>

The Year In Astros Baseball: Thank God That's Over

​So let's continue our look back at the sporting year that was 2011 by taking a look at the Top 25 events to happen to the Houston Astros. 1. They finished with the worst record in team history, which was quite the accomplishment seeing as how the Astros were pretty damn bad for most of the ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Don't Get Too Excited About the Astro Front-Office Firings

We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>

Astros Fire Ed Wade & Tal Smith: The New Era Begins

Where have you gone, Ed Wade? A nation's no-hit, aging, injury-prone free agent infielders turn their lonely eyes to you. Where have you gone, Ed Wade? A nation's worth of middle relievers looking for multimillion contracts turn their lonely eyes to you. Ed Wade is gone. So is Tal Smith. Jim C ... More >>

It's Official, Houston: You Live in an American League City Now

Change is....bad.​Pretty much as Peter Gammons called it last month, Major League Baseball owners have approved the sale of the Astros to businessman Jim Crane, and the move of the team to the American League. The move tosses away more than a half-century of tradition: The Astros have been in ... More >>

The Astros Are Heading To The Promised Land -- The American League!

Say hello to Yankee Fan​As a major league sport, baseball has always done a fairly good job of keeping itself relevant throughout the calendar year. (Football is the king of year-round relevancy. Basketball is the court jester. Baseball lies somewhere in between.) November is normally a fun b ... More >>

Astros to AL with Jim Crane As Owner, Peter Gammons Says

Hello, AL West.​Peter Gammons probably has the best sources in Major League Baseball, and he's got news: The Astros sale to Jim Crane will be approved in mid-November, and the team will switch to the American League. Gammons tweets the sale "is expected to go through," so there's some wriggle ... More >>

Dis-Astros Season Mercifully Comes to an End and That's the Good News

Early in spring training, some cockeyed optimists probably opined to one another about how if things went just right for the Astros this year, well dad gummit, we could have ourselves quite the little season. And then reality kicked in. The Astros ended their season last night with their 106th loss ... More >>

Astros Suitor Jim Crane Emerges to Dis MLB and the Houston Press

The Press story on Crane's divorce​Jim Crane, the guy who's probably not going to end up buying the Astros from Drayton McLane, emerged from hiding via an exclusive interview with the Houston Chronicle. He says he's frustrated that Major League Baseball seems to be interested in his paying fi ... More >>

Rejected Dejected: Astros Waiting Around For MLB To Do Something About Jim Crane

Somebody finalize this deal already​It's known as the Rejected/Dejected shot. The camera focusing on the batter as he walks back to the dugout after having just struck out, usually on a called strike. It's one of those shots that best captures the emotion of the game and helps to bring the v ... More >>

Is Drayton McLane Really the Best Astros Owner Ever?

John McMullen, former Astros owner​Sometime this month the 29 MLB owners will approve the purchase of the Houston Astros by Jim Crane. Drayton McLane, the man selling the Astros, will be referred to as the greatest owner in Astros history. The man who turned the team into a winner. Who took ... More >>

The Astros Curse: They Are The Damned

The Astros have been damned​The following is based on true facts, but names have been redacted to protect the innocent, and not so innocent... The Houston Astros are a bad baseball team this season. They're beyond bad. They're beyond awful. They're closing in on worst team in MLB history b ... More >>

11 Modest Suggestions For Jim Crane

​After the Astros lose to the Chicago Cubs this afternoon, the 2011 MLB season will be one-thirds complete. And while it was expected the Astros would be bad, being the worst team in the National League was not expected -- an injury-depleted Minnesota Twins are the only thing keeping the Astr ... More >>

Houston Astros & Minute Maid Park Begin Process for Covert Name Change

Craig Hlavaty​Yesterday while filming segments for KIAH's "Newsfix" in the monument park at Minute Maid Park, my camera crew and I came across this sign, defaced for your pleasure. It looked as if the sign had been modified for some time, as there were no pieces of the departed "M" near the sc ... More >>

So You Want to Own a Baseball Team? Baseball Financing 101

​There are a lot of stories coming out about how the Astros are going to face a long climb to respectability. About how all of the team's problems can't be solved by spending money. About how we're just going to have to be patient while Jim Crane's baseball people rebuild the mess left behin ... More >>

Astros Finally Sold, Or So It Appears

​Ding, dong, the wicked witch is dead. The Astros have, it appears, finally been sold. At least that's what Drayton McLane has told Mark Berman over at Fox 26. The papers are still being finalized, though it is hoped that the parties will sign off on the sale next week. McLane was not wil ... More >>

Mark Cuban: With Nolan Ryan Out, It's Now Up To You To Save The Astros

Mark Cuban: Houston needs you, desperately​My dream for the Houston Astros was destroyed very, very early on Thursday morning when Nolan Ryan and his business partner, Chuck Greenberg, won the bankruptcy bidding for the Texas Rangers. I've written before that I was hoping Ryan's bid would lose, an ... More >>

Drayton Sells Astros, Almost

​Hey kids, guess what? Drayton McLane is a liar.I'm not shocked by that. I used to work for the guy. But apparently people at the Houston Chronicle are surprised that Drayton lied to them about trying to sell the team after the 2008 season. A local businessman, Jim Crane, even entered into a hands ... More >>

Letters 06-08-2000