Subject:

Joel Osteen

  • Blogs

    March 6, 2012

    Forget Blue-Eyed Butcher: Casting Lifetime Movies About Felicia Moon, Victoria Osteen & 3 Others

    Blue-Eyed Butcher was Lifetime's take on the Susan Wright case. It certainly wasn't the first TV movie to be based on a Houston case, and it won't be the last. In fact there are plenty of Houston stories just begging to be made into Lifetime movies. Like these five: 5. Trail Ridin' Dirty: The Feli ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 21, 2012

    Joel Osteen & Lakewood Mostly Win Copyright Suit Filed by Indie Duo

    A federal judge has ruled in favor of Lakewood Church and Joel Osteen, dismissing many of the copyright claims filed against them by an indie-music duo who said the church using their music would alienate their listeners. Richard Cupolo and John Emanuele, who perform as The American Dollar, had sai ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2012

    Comment of the Day: Joel Osteen, Hunk

    We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 2, 2012

    Caption This Shirtless-Joel Osteen Photo

    TMZ has blessed us with this photo of Lakewood's just-sued Joel Osteen, who obviously has been able to take time from helping the poor and downtrodden to work out a couple of hours a day. Obviously, it needs a caption. We ask for your help.

  • News

    December 8, 2011

    Joel Osteen's Reality Show

    Some suggestions from us.

  • Blogs

    December 1, 2011

    Comment of the Day: Joel Osteen's Reality Show

    We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 29, 2011

    Joel Osteen's Reality Show: How It Will Be If Based on Any of Six Current Shows

    From the producer of Survivor.​TMZ has reported that Lakewood Church's Joel and Victoria Osteen will be the stars of a new reality show by the producer of Survivor. "The premise of the show is that ordinary people will give up several days or longer to go on a mission with Joel Osteen, one o ... More >>

  • News

    September 8, 2011

    Bring the Stink

    Readers can't wait to try Yummy Stinky

  • Blogs

    April 15, 2011

    Taking Dogs to Restaurants and Bars: Why Stop There? (Five Other Options to Consider)

    Take me to the porno shop, please.​Houston, all of a sudden, has given rise to a movement demanding that people be allowed to take their dogs to restaurants and bars. The Boneyard Drinkery on Washington Avenue, for instance, exists just so people can do that. Why stop there? There are plenty ... More >>

  • News

    February 10, 2011

    Great Minds

    Our MasterMind winners speak up.

  • Blogs

    January 27, 2011

    Joel Osteen Is Confused About Both Gays and the Death Penalty

    Houston's own Joel Osteen and his wife Victoria took to the national airwaves last night on CNN's Piers Morgan Tonight. The net has been buzzing for a while, of course, about the pre-released clip above where Osteen sounds very, very confused about gays. We tuned in last night and -- besides being ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 4, 2011

    Slim Thug: Single, Looking For Two... And A Fan?

    ​Rocks Off loves just about everything Slim Thug does. We're big fans of his music, of course, but our admiration has really grown since we started getting to know him via Twitter over the past year or so. Screw that Shit My Dad Says guy; we think Slim should have his own TV show. Keep Shatne ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 10, 2010

    Preacher Joseph Herrin: Gulf Oil Spill The Fault Of All Us Abortion-Loving Houstonians

    I'm looking at YOU, Houston​BREAKING -- A new, undeniably correct theory on why there's a huge oil spill has just been announced. There's a spill, it seems, because God hates how we Houstonians just love abortion. Oh, and Joel Osteen's to blame, too.The theory is proposed by a preacher (and, we as ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 8, 2010

    Musical Theology With John Coltrane, Robert Johnson

    ​Naxos continues to release episodes from the Masters of American Music documentary series from the '90s, and here are two from the latest releases (the two others profiling Sarah Vaughan and Count Basie). Not a straight biographical doc or even a chronological one about his album releases, The Wo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 4, 2010

    Unrated Lesbian Action!!! The Inauguration, In Photos (Safe For Work)

    Photo by Dan Kramer​ Annise Parker was officially sworn in as mayor in a private ceremony over the weekend, but today is the public event. This morning featured Joel Osteen; tonight has Archie Bell. You choose which one you'd prefer to be at.Our Dan Kramer was on the scene to record all the the H ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 1, 2010

    This Year in Deliciousness

    Photo by This Is Freaking RidiculousAn AK-47 made entirely out of bacon? Yup, that's pretty much 2009 summed up.​ So this is the time of year when we normally say things like "Wow, another year gone by already!" and "Can ya believe it's almost 2010?" and "Say there, how come you just broke my ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 29, 2009

    Annise Parker To Tighten Up & Treat Her Right At Inaugural

    ​Mayor-elect Annise Parker's swearing-in ceremony Monday over the weekend will be private, but after that on Monday it's an eclectic mix of events and personalities for the public to share in.It includes a Discovery Green concert featuring two Houston performers who had hits a long while ago: Arch ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 28, 2009

    Beignets at The Big Mamou

    ​On a basic level, beignets are French doughnuts, pastries of deep-fried dough sprinkled with powdered sugar and served piping hot with a side of coffee. Much like free drinks and lottery tickets, they are impossible to turn down -- warm, sweet and crisp-golden. Yet despite their splendor, few ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 11, 2009

    What You'll Be Missing Tomorrow If You Don't Get Your Digital-Converter TV Box

    The Great Digital TV Revolution occurs tomorrow, and Hair Balls is worried for those of you still clinging to your rabbit ears and MacGyvered-aluminum-foil towers. While we applaud those who have drawn a line in the sand and refused to feed the cable and satellite beasts, we urge you to get a govern ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 18, 2009

    Is She Really The "Heidi Fleiss of Houston"?

    Photo courtesy HCSOSometimes one flip remark transforms things.One Houston cop calls a woman "The Heidi Fleiss of Houston," and the media goes nuts (Hey, including us.)But we're really not convinced Debbie Turbiville is up to Heidi Fleiss's standards.Until we see Joel Osteen's name on a credit-card ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 6, 2009

    More Sex! Less Food! The Eggheads Proclaimeth

    Katharine Shilcutt's excellent post from last week, Depart From Me! I Never Knew You, Eaters of Bacon, in both its content and the commentary it generated, raised a very interesting question: Why would mega-pastor Joel Osteen decide to preach (dictate?) to his flock about what they should a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 25, 2009

    What's Twitter Giving Up For Lent In Houston?

    Photo by hydroxi This is a Lent Lilly. It is pretty.If you were awake this morning, you saw the Houston Press ask its Twitter followers what they're giving up for Lent.What, you're not following us on Twitter? Too bad, you could have wound up in this article, although knowing you, you just wo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 23, 2009

    Depart From Me! I Never Knew You, Eaters of Bacon

    ...by eliminating bacon from your diet. Wait...what?Did you know that Joel Osteen is kicking it old school now?  And by old school, I mean Old Testament.  Straight outta Hebron! The new-agey motivational speaker preacher at Lakewood Church took a bizarrely old-fashioned ap ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 23, 2009

    Depart From Me! I Never Knew You, Eaters of Bacon

    ...by eliminating bacon from your diet. Wait...what?Did you know that Joel Osteen is kicking it old school now?  And by old school, I mean Old Testament.  Straight outta Hebron! The new-agey motivational speaker preacher at Lakewood Church took a bizarrely old-fashioned ap ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 20, 2009

    Lonesome Onry and Mean: Gurf Morlix and Last Exit To Happyland

    Photo by Lynne Hawrelko What a beautiful world we'd be living in if Joel Osteen or Pat Robertson or Rush Limbaugh used Gurf Morlix as musical director. His new Last Exit to Happyland is full of aching songs full of deep humanity and decency as well as head-shaking social accusations and knife-to-the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 2, 2009

    Five Spot: Greeting 2009 Z-Ro Style

    Welcome back to The Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Just because you probably missed it, we'd like to take a second to bring to your attention that 2008 is over ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2008

    Joel Osteen Teams Up With Guns N Roses To Rock Your Face Off

    Welcome back to The Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Just because you probably missed it, we'd like to take a second to bring to your attention that 2008 is over ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 17, 2008

    Lakewood Still The Biggest Church, If You Believe Porno Magazine

    Welcome back to The Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Just because you probably missed it, we'd like to take a second to bring to your attention that 2008 is over ... More >>

  • News

    August 28, 2008

    The Passion of Victoria Osteen

    A flight attendant went after the Osteens in court, bringing on trials and tribulation for one and all

  • Blogs

    August 8, 2008

    The Osteen Trial: Joel Takes The Stand

    A flight attendant went after the Osteens in court, bringing on trials and tribulation for one and all

  • Blogs

    August 7, 2008

    Scenes From The Osteen Trial: The Race Card Played

    A flight attendant went after the Osteens in court, bringing on trials and tribulation for one and all

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2008

    Matt Taibbi Doesn’t Heart Joel Osteen

    A flight attendant went after the Osteens in court, bringing on trials and tribulation for one and all

  • Blogs

    June 13, 2008

    Wayne Dolcefino and Other "Celebs" I Have Spotted

    A flight attendant went after the Osteens in court, bringing on trials and tribulation for one and all

  • Blogs

    May 14, 2008

    Family Matters: Joel Osteen Meets with Activist Jay Bakker

    A flight attendant went after the Osteens in court, bringing on trials and tribulation for one and all

  • News

    December 6, 2007

    Victoria Osteen, Continental Airlines and Unmanned Drones

    Verdict on the Victoria Osteen trial: Fun!

  • Blogs

    November 28, 2007

    Joel Osteen Is a Power Top

    Verdict on the Victoria Osteen trial: Fun!

  • News

    November 1, 2007

    Pearland ISD, the Inspector of Hides and Animals, and Joel Osteen's New Book

    The Pearland school board — entertainment for years to come!

  • Blogs

    August 24, 2007

    Drenched In Blog: Sealed with Kiss

    The Pearland school board — entertainment for years to come!

  • Blogs

    January 16, 2007

    Well, They Both Have Great Hair

    The Pearland school board — entertainment for years to come!

  • Blogs

    December 13, 2006

    Barbara Walters Discovers a Champion in Joel

    The Pearland school board — entertainment for years to come!

  • News

    September 28, 2006

    Show God the Money

    Time magazine's star speaks out

  • News

    February 9, 2006

    Let There Be Gifts

    If you want to honor this preacher's wife, don't be cheap

  • Resolutions

    January 19, 2006

    New Year's Resolutions for Houston

    We have a lot to forgive – and forget – about 2005; here's hoping local celebs do better next year

  • Calendar

    July 21, 2005

    Meet the Beatle

    John Lennon's other art takes center stage in "When I'm Sixty Four"

  • News

    May 5, 2005

    A Compaq with the Lord

    Credit boyish heir Osteen for Lakewood's higher power

  • Best of Houston

    September 25, 2003

    Best Reincarnation

    Compaq Center becomes the Lakewood International Center

  • News

    December 19, 2002

    The Naked Truth

    Plus: Osteen's Off, Extra Innings at Rogers, All That Jazz

  • Best of Houston

    September 26, 2002

    Best Religious Leader

    Joel Osteen

  • News

    April 18, 2002

    Preaching to the Choir

    Plus: Feudal Follies, Life in the Slow Lane, Facts and Fantasy

  • News

    April 4, 2002

    Power House

    What do Lakewood Church and its pastor Joel Osteen have that most mainline Protestant denominations don't? People. Lots of them. And in an assortment of colors.

  • More >>
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