Subject:

Joel Osteen

  • Blogs

    March 11, 2014

    Credit Card Numbers, Checks, Cash Stolen From Megachurch

    Joel Osteen's megachurch became more than a half-million dollars less prosperous, according to reports, following a theft from the Lakewood Church coffers over the weekend. The church sent out a letter to churchgoers on Monday, the Houston Chronicle reports, telling them about the theft of cash, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 9, 2013

    The Slow, Steady Decline of Evangelical Christianity

    Just over a decade ago, evangelical Christians were ascendant. After the legwork of Falwell's Moral Majority and Ralph Reed's Christian Coalition, an evangelical Christian was in the White House, George W. Bush, whose favorite philosopher was "Jesus Christ." Indeed, even as late as 2004, the media t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2013

    Houston Bucket List -- 100 Things to Do in Houston Before You Die: Saddle Up, Cowboy

    Photos by Jeff BalkeThe Houston Press is presenting a series of posts leading up to a feature story in the print edition of the 100 Things to Do in Houston Before You Die. Each blog post contains one of our top 10 bucket list items along with nine others in the top 100. To narrow our list, we chose ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 8, 2013

    No, Joel Osteen Is Not Resigning; World Reels At Thought That Internet Might Be Wrong Sometimes

    Someone with a lot of time on their hands, and a burning desire to -- what? embarrass Joel Osteen? -- has put together several websites advancing the idea that the rich megachurch preacher is quitting. The hoax includes web pages, fake news stories, a YouTube video and a Twitter account. To a twee ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 20, 2013

    Beer Nuts: State Alcoholic Beverage Laws Front and Center with Lege This Week

    No doubt some of you may want to know the many ways the Texas legislature is going to improve your opportunities this session to drink alcoholic spirits. Toss the kids and forget Medicaid, there's always one or two more ways to tinker with the state's alcoholic beverage code each session. No doubt, ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 20, 2012

    Joel Osteen Artwork Removed from Atlanta Library

    Art is subjective. As we've seen with Robert Mapplethorpe exhibits and crosses floating in urine, it can also be controversial. But, normally, garden variety portraits don't rise to the level of pissing people off...unless they are of super preacher Joel Osteen, apparently. A Grayson, Georgia libra ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 6, 2012

    Forget Blue-Eyed Butcher: Casting Lifetime Movies About Felicia Moon, Victoria Osteen & 3 Others

    Blue-Eyed Butcher was Lifetime's take on the Susan Wright case. It certainly wasn't the first TV movie to be based on a Houston case, and it won't be the last. In fact there are plenty of Houston stories just begging to be made into Lifetime movies. Like these five: 5. Trail Ridin' Dirty: The Feli ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 21, 2012

    Joel Osteen & Lakewood Mostly Win Copyright Suit Filed by Indie Duo

    A federal judge has ruled in favor of Lakewood Church and Joel Osteen, dismissing many of the copyright claims filed against them by an indie-music duo who said the church using their music would alienate their listeners. Richard Cupolo and John Emanuele, who perform as The American Dollar, had sai ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2012

    Comment of the Day: Joel Osteen, Hunk

    We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 2, 2012

    Caption This Shirtless-Joel Osteen Photo

    TMZ has blessed us with this photo of Lakewood's just-sued Joel Osteen, who obviously has been able to take time from helping the poor and downtrodden to work out a couple of hours a day. Obviously, it needs a caption. We ask for your help.

  • News

    December 8, 2011

    Joel Osteen's Reality Show

    Some suggestions from us.

  • Blogs

    December 1, 2011

    Comment of the Day: Joel Osteen's Reality Show

    We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 29, 2011

    Joel Osteen's Reality Show: How It Will Be If Based on Any of Six Current Shows

    From the producer of Survivor.​TMZ has reported that Lakewood Church's Joel and Victoria Osteen will be the stars of a new reality show by the producer of Survivor. "The premise of the show is that ordinary people will give up several days or longer to go on a mission with Joel Osteen, one o ... More >>

  • News

    September 8, 2011

    Bring the Stink

    Readers can't wait to try Yummy Stinky

  • Blogs

    April 15, 2011

    Taking Dogs to Restaurants and Bars: Why Stop There? (Five Other Options to Consider)

    Take me to the porno shop, please.​Houston, all of a sudden, has given rise to a movement demanding that people be allowed to take their dogs to restaurants and bars. The Boneyard Drinkery on Washington Avenue, for instance, exists just so people can do that. Why stop there? There are plenty ... More >>

  • News

    February 10, 2011

    Great Minds

    Our MasterMind winners speak up.

  • Blogs

    January 27, 2011

    Joel Osteen Is Confused About Both Gays and the Death Penalty

    Houston's own Joel Osteen and his wife Victoria took to the national airwaves last night on CNN's Piers Morgan Tonight. The net has been buzzing for a while, of course, about the pre-released clip above where Osteen sounds very, very confused about gays. We tuned in last night and -- besides being ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 10, 2010

    Preacher Joseph Herrin: Gulf Oil Spill The Fault Of All Us Abortion-Loving Houstonians

    I'm looking at YOU, Houston​BREAKING -- A new, undeniably correct theory on why there's a huge oil spill has just been announced. There's a spill, it seems, because God hates how we Houstonians just love abortion. Oh, and Joel Osteen's to blame, too.The theory is proposed by a preacher (and, we as ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 4, 2010

    Unrated Lesbian Action!!! The Inauguration, In Photos (Safe For Work)

    Photo by Dan Kramer​ Annise Parker was officially sworn in as mayor in a private ceremony over the weekend, but today is the public event. This morning featured Joel Osteen; tonight has Archie Bell. You choose which one you'd prefer to be at.Our Dan Kramer was on the scene to record all the the H ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 1, 2010

    This Year in Deliciousness

    Photo by This Is Freaking RidiculousAn AK-47 made entirely out of bacon? Yup, that's pretty much 2009 summed up.​ So this is the time of year when we normally say things like "Wow, another year gone by already!" and "Can ya believe it's almost 2010?" and "Say there, how come you just broke my ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 29, 2009

    Annise Parker To Tighten Up & Treat Her Right At Inaugural

    ​Mayor-elect Annise Parker's swearing-in ceremony Monday over the weekend will be private, but after that on Monday it's an eclectic mix of events and personalities for the public to share in.It includes a Discovery Green concert featuring two Houston performers who had hits a long while ago: Arch ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 28, 2009

    Beignets at The Big Mamou

    ​On a basic level, beignets are French doughnuts, pastries of deep-fried dough sprinkled with powdered sugar and served piping hot with a side of coffee. Much like free drinks and lottery tickets, they are impossible to turn down -- warm, sweet and crisp-golden. Yet despite their splendor, few ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 11, 2009

    What You'll Be Missing Tomorrow If You Don't Get Your Digital-Converter TV Box

    The Great Digital TV Revolution occurs tomorrow, and Hair Balls is worried for those of you still clinging to your rabbit ears and MacGyvered-aluminum-foil towers. While we applaud those who have drawn a line in the sand and refused to feed the cable and satellite beasts, we urge you to get a govern ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 6, 2009

    More Sex! Less Food! The Eggheads Proclaimeth

    Katharine Shilcutt's excellent post from last week, Depart From Me! I Never Knew You, Eaters of Bacon, in both its content and the commentary it generated, raised a very interesting question: Why would mega-pastor Joel Osteen decide to preach (dictate?) to his flock about what they should and shoul ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 25, 2009

    What's Twitter Giving Up For Lent In Houston?

    Photo by hydroxi This is a Lent Lilly. It is pretty.If you were awake this morning, you saw the Houston Press ask its Twitter followers what they're giving up for Lent.What, you're not following us on Twitter? Too bad, you could have wound up in this article, although knowing you, you just wo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 23, 2009

    Depart From Me! I Never Knew You, Eaters of Bacon

    Did you know that Joel Osteen is kicking it old school now?  And by old school, I mean Old Testament.  Straight outta Hebron! The new-agey motivational speaker preacher at Lakewood Church took a bizarrely old-fashioned approach recently when he advised his congregation against ea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 23, 2009

    Depart From Me! I Never Knew You, Eaters of Bacon

    Did you know that Joel Osteen is kicking it old school now?  And by old school, I mean Old Testament.  Straight outta Hebron! The new-agey motivational speaker preacher at Lakewood Church took a bizarrely old-fashioned approach recently when he advised his congregation against ea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 20, 2009

    Lonesome Onry and Mean: Gurf Morlix and Last Exit To Happyland

    What a beautiful world we'd be living in if Joel Osteen or Pat Robertson or Rush Limbaugh used Gurf Morlix as musical director. His new Last Exit to Happyland is full of aching songs full of deep humanity and decency as well as head-shaking social accusations and knife-to-the-throat post-love observ ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2008
  • Blogs

    October 17, 2008

    Lakewood Still The Biggest Church, If You Believe Porno Magazine

    Just like US News & World Report's college rankings are eagerly awaited by schools, Outreach magazine's Top 100 list of churches is the place to be if you're a hustling megachurch pastor. The results are in -- not from Outreach itself, which charges for the info, but from a Christian Post news repo ... More >>

  • News

    August 28, 2008

    The Passion of Victoria Osteen

    A flight attendant went after the Osteens in court, bringing on trials and tribulation for one and all

  • Blogs

    August 8, 2008
  • Blogs

    June 30, 2008
  • Blogs

    June 13, 2008
  • Blogs

    May 14, 2008

    Family Matters: Joel Osteen Meets with Activist Jay Bakker

    Jay Bakker, the biker-dude son of Jim and Tammy Faye, succeeded (sort of) in his attempt to arrange a meeting between Lakewood Church’s Joel Osteen and gay and lesbian families. Although Lakewood’s response was much more tepid than almost all the other mega-churches Bakker contacted across the ... More >>

  • News

    December 6, 2007

    Victoria Osteen, Continental Airlines and Unmanned Drones

    Verdict on the Victoria Osteen trial: Fun!

  • Blogs

    November 28, 2007

    Joel Osteen Is a Power Top

    Not-gay-in-any-way-whatsoever magazine Details has just released its “Power 50” list, which ranks H-town’s own man of God Joel Osteen at number 16. At first glance, this may sound respectable, but when you see that number one is occupied not by an individual, but a gruesome Hollywood cabal d ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 24, 2007

    Drenched In Blog: Sealed with Kiss

    As we delved into Houston’s murky and innovative musical past, I thought about all the cool concerts that came through here that we young people never got to see. Elvis played at a Polish dancehall soon to become Fitzgerald’s. Divine and the Village People got live and sleazy at Numbers. Jimi He ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 16, 2007

    Well, They Both Have Great Hair

    Extra overhead lights added for that special angelic effect. As we write, Houston staple Joel Osteen is preparing to give the invocation to swear in Governor Rick Perry for his second term. This seems odd to us, since Osteen, in contrast to leaders of many mega-churches, generally avoids involve ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 13, 2006

    Barbara Walters Discovers a Champion in Joel

    Is Joel Osteen more than a conqueror? We hoped Babs would tell us. I can admit to buying into the hype surrounding Barbara Walter's The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2006, which aired last night on ABC. Specifically, I wanted to see what Babs could get out of Lakewood Church's Joel Osteen, and se ... More >>

  • News

    September 28, 2006

    Show God the Money

    Time magazine's star speaks out

  • News

    February 9, 2006

    Let There Be Gifts

    If you want to honor this preacher's wife, don't be cheap

  • Resolutions

    January 19, 2006

    New Year's Resolutions for Houston

    We have a lot to forgive and forget about 2005; here's hoping local celebs do better next year

  • Calendar

    July 21, 2005

    Meet the Beatle

    John Lennon's other art takes center stage in "When I'm Sixty Four"

  • News

    May 5, 2005

    A Compaq with the Lord

    Credit boyish heir Osteen for Lakewood's higher power

  • Best of Houston

    September 25, 2003

    Best Reincarnation

    Compaq Center becomes the Lakewood International Center

  • News

    December 19, 2002

    The Naked Truth

    Plus: Osteen's Off, Extra Innings at Rogers, All That Jazz

  • Best of Houston

    September 26, 2002
  • News

    April 18, 2002

    Preaching to the Choir

    Plus: Feudal Follies, Life in the Slow Lane, Facts and Fantasy

  • News

    April 4, 2002

    Power House

    What do Lakewood Church and its pastor Joel Osteen have that most mainline Protestant denominations don't? People. Lots of them. And in an assortment of colors.

  • More >>
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