Joel Osteen

Because the HCSCC Doesn't Have Enough Ideas, Here Are 5 More Things We Can Do with the Astrodome

Let's see if I've got this: The Confederacy of Dunces charged with making decisions on the Astrodome are once again acting like they want to make decisions on the Astrodome. Decisions that will involve them punting the ultimate decision to a higher authority that has, time and again, punted the deci ... More >>

Burger King's Twitter Account Hacked: The Best Responses Across Twitter

Starting around 11 a.m. yesterday morning, a merry prankster "hacked" Burger King's Twitter account and began posting status updates in a style which Gizmodo writer Sam Biddle described as "a combination of McDonald's and amphetamine addict." Read the first fake Tweet from the Burger King account: ... More >>

A Visiting Celebrities Guide To Houston's Sights, Sounds, And Eats

This week the city of Houston will be pummeled with celebs, reality-show dander, 30K-wannabe socialites, and pro athletes in town for the NBA All-Star Game at the Toyota Center. Though the game isn't until Sunday evening, the parties and madness will begin on Wednesday and run until next Monday mo ... More >>

Joel Osteen's Mega-Watt Grin Can't Keep Houston Within the Bible Belt, Survey Says

Every week, Joel Osteen's Lakewood Church sermons reach over seven million viewers across the world. The Second Baptist Church Houston, the largest Baptist church in the largest Baptist nation, hosts a weekly attendance pushing 25,000. The Woodlands Church -- pulling those from Humble, Katy, and Tom ... More >>

Dominique Sachse's Wedding: Filed Under "Things We Need to Not Hear About So Much"

DID YOU HEAR?!?!?!? KPRC anchorwoman Dominique Sachse got married!!!!!! OMG!!!!! In case you missed the Channel 2 ads, Sachse was one of -- if not the -- hardest-working single moms out there. That's a remark which, if we were churlish, we would find incredibly insulting to all the single moms in ... More >>

PETA Asks Joel Osteen to Hang a "Go Vegan" Banner in His Church

We guess there's no harm in trying. PETA has written a letter asking Joel Osteen to hang a large "Go Vegan" banner in Lakewood Church, for which in return they will "prepare a delicious Easter Sunday faux-ham meal with all the trimmings for his parishioners." Why Osteen? PETA seems to think he's h ... More >>

Someone at the FBI Is Swooning Over the "Tall, Dark & Handsome Bandit"

Feast your eyes on the enticing hunk of man-meat to the right, ladies and gay dudes. Why, he's dreamier than a shirtless Joel Osteen!! At least he is to someone at the FBI, who has not only dubbed the dude the "Tall, Dark & Handsome Bandit" but has included this factoid in the description accompan ... More >>

Texas Tweakers

James "Bull" Durham burned down his mother's house while cooking meth. In Angelina County, the jail is full of guys like him..

College Realignment Talk Is The New NFL Lockout Talk

More a-holery from Ken Starr​During this past summer of sports talk radio, our insatiable appetite for any topic football-related, our perennial need to talk about minutiae at all times, and the usual summer content-related radio doldrums met at a tedious midpoint -- a no man's land that left ... More >>

Alvaro Guzman: Lakewood Church Volunteer Fondled Autistic Kid, Cops Say

This never happened at Compaq Center!! (That we know of)​A volunteer at Lakewood Church, Joel Osteen's mega-temple to Christianity Lite, is being sought by police on charges he fondled an eight-year-old autistic boy. Alvaro Daniel Guzman, 25, allegedly committed the acts in February 2010, KHO ... More >>

The Girls Gone Wild Bus: Where It Should Go In Houston

Photo by Marc BrubakerWe have better suggestions for Houston spots for this bus to visit​When the Girls Gone Wild tour bus is spotted around town, as our own Katharine Shilcutt nodded to on Twitter, people are wont to talk. Speculation begins to pop up, and the town starts abuzz - where is it, ... More >>

Slim Thug: Now Tweeting Church!

Aren't we all, Slim?​Welcome to another fabulous edition of Magnolia City Mixtape. Rocks Off doesn't want you to miss even a smidgen of news from Houston's music scene, so we mine the Internet, sifting through Twitter feeds and Facebook profiles and harvesting every piece we can find. So witho ... More >>

Saturday Night: Michael Franti & Spearhead At House Of Blues

Photos by Jason Wolter​Michael Franti & Spearhead House of Blues October 2, 2010 Check out photos from the show. Hands are in the air immediately with the stupidly fun show opener "Love Don't Wait," as Michael Franti and his Spearhead instrumentalists file out onstage. Franti is a big dude, ... More >>

Pop Rocks: A World Without Oprah

So long, suckers.​The 25th and final season of The Oprah Winfrey Show kicked off yesterday with a John Travolta dance number, an appearance by Paul Simon (of "and Garfunkel" fame, not the deceased U.S. Senator), and an announcement that Oprah would take the 300 studio audience members in atten ... More >>

Pop Rocks: What Books Would Jesus Burn?

​Talk about your (mostly) lone nuts. Terry Jones, reverend of something called the Dove World Outreach Center (sounds like a rehab facility that uses soap enema therapy), is going ahead with his planned "International Burn-A-Koran Day" on September 11. This in spite of mounting criticism from ... More >>

LeBron James: Five Reasons Why He Did Not Choose Houston

Why LeBron said no​Despite what we thought were pretty compelling arguments yesterday, LeBron James did not announce last night that he will become a Houston Rocket.We blame the Children's Museum. And the Astros.Still, we're not bitter; we're analytical. And we have determined the five reason why ... More >>

Top 10 Pop-Star Bobbleheads We'd Like To See

​The good people over at Aggronautix have done it again. The toy company has been releasing bobbleheads of punk-rock luminaries such as GG Allin and the Descendents' Milo Aukerman for the past year. Rocks Off has been lucky enough to snag a few. Sitting a few feet from us right now are the t ... More >>

Musical Theology With John Coltrane, Robert Johnson

​Naxos continues to release episodes from the Masters of American Music documentary series from the '90s, and here are two from the latest releases (the two others profiling Sarah Vaughan and Count Basie). Not a straight biographical doc or even a chronological one about his album releases, The Wo ... More >>

The Twitterverse

More than just cyberspace, the tweet life inspires people to make friends and adopt causes in person. It has a few problems, too.

Lakewood Church May Open a Charter School

​Joel Osteen's Lakewood Church is developing a proposal to start a charter school for autistic children that would open in the fall of 2011.Nancy Manley, executive principal in the Houston ISD's charter and alternative schools office, mentioned Lakewood's plans during her address to the Senate Edu ... More >>

No Fireworks At Parker's First Council Meeting (But Somehow Jolanda Jones Passes Up A Chance To Speak)

​Mayor Annise Parker concluded her first City Council meeting this morning with a bang, warning citizens about icy roads in days ahead as Houston braces for what's expected to be its coldest temperatures in decades. "We're covering our pipes, doing what we can to keep ice away from our entrances," ... More >>

Aftermath: Nitzer Ebb at Meridian, Joel Osteen With a Trouserful of Funky Cold Medina

Photos by Groovehouse / Click here for a slideshow​Aftermath was running late on Saturday night after trying to get a teething baby to sleep. We drove our little Toyota as fast as we dared through a fog that on television would have contained dead pirates, eldritch horrors or Michael Jackson ... More >>

Aftermath: Nickelback at Toyota Center

Photos by Craig HlavatyAftermath is of the mind that the best way to tackle something that is reviled or feared is to confront it head on. Like global terrorism, street gangs, or gingivitis, you must take it on at its source, even if doing so makes you feel insecure, vulnerable or wholly fooli ... More >>

Aftermath: Fred Eaglesmith at McGonigel's Mucky Duck

Drive-By Truckers, A to Z

Alabama Ass Whuppin'

The Osteen Trial: The Greatest Upset Ever (Didn't Happen)

The Osteen Trial: Let The Feasting Begin

The Osteen Trial: Wherefore The Shark?

Scenes From The Osteen Trial: The Race Card Played

Astros, Reds Ramp Up Epic Battle for Fifth in NL Central

Pregnant Bitches, Gay Christians and Swindling Baptists

One dog-lover gets a surprise

American Gladiators, Religion, HAR Elections

Pearland ISD, the Inspector of Hides and Animals, and Joel Osteen's New Book

The Pearland school board — entertainment for years to come!

Carlton Pearson

Houston's Unity Church hosts the former megachurch preacher who wrote, "God Is Not a Christian"

Good Budd

At Lawndale, it's popcorn, boogie boards and neuro-linguistic programming

This Man Thinks He's Jesus H. Christ!

And a lot of people agree with him

Scenes from Dynamo Sunday: The Takeoff

Scenes from Dynamo Sunday: The Takeoff

Imperfect Ten

This Scriptwriters/Houston showcase comes up short

En la Calle

Houston joins the revolución

Godspell

Three hundred people from Austin quit their jobs, sold their homes and moved 175 miles to Alvin to start a new church — called by the Holy Spirit in the form of the Reverend Dana Carson

Letters

All I Want for Christmas Is...

A shopping list for your favorite political types

Tut TUTS

Plus: Amazing Grace, Moonbeamed, Time Warp