John Seaborn Gray

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Blogs
April 1, 2009
Happy April Fool's Day: Fools in Popular Music
Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray In the Tarot, "The Fool is the spirit in search of experience. He represents the mystical cleverness bereft of reason within us, the childlike ability to tune into the inner workings of the world." Hat sold separately.As you've hopefully been able to t ... More >>
Blogs
June 22, 2009
Slide Show: Albums Almost as Old as We Are
The other day, the Rocks Off brain trust was sitting around talking, and one of us happened to mention whatever album it was we were talking about - it might have been Duran Duran's Rio - came out the year one of us was born. That got us thinking, "How much have albums released within 12 months aft ... More >>
Blogs
July 28, 2009
Your One-Stop HPMA Showcase Link
GroovehouseLos Skarnales just wouldn't quit at House of Blues Sunday. Rocks Off is just about recovered from Sunday's HPMA showcase mayhem, or as recovered as we're going to get. Despite some bitching on Hands Up Houston - what else is new? - everybody we've talked to had as much of a blast as we ... More >>
Blogs
August 26, 2009
The End Finally Comes For Wilshire Village
Photos by John Seaborn GrayThe view from DunlavyWe've been following the slow end of the Wilshire Village apartment complex on Alabama, a once-charming relic that should never have seen the wrecking ball. But the wrecking ball has come, as these photos show.Once the process of demolition began, ... More >>
News
October 29, 2009
Dives and DIY Shepherd's Pie
Our readers weigh in.
Blogs
October 29, 2009
Twelve Musical Fuck Yous Better Than Gov. Ah-nuld's Coded Message
Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayWe admit, we never thought he had it in him, but apparently the Governator is capable of human cleverness - just like all non-cybernetic organisms. That is, if we accept that the acrostic in this veto message here isn't just a coincidence (read the first ... More >>
News
December 31, 2009
Critiquing the Critics
Readers disagree with our statement that the AP's rock critics are assholes.
Blogs
January 8, 2010
New iPhone? Rocks Off Has an App for That.
Photo illustrations by John Seaborn Gray We know a ton of you got iPhones over the holiday break. Well, good news: Rocks Off has spent the last few months developing our own iPhone applications (or "apps," as the urban kids are saying) and we're thrilled to debut them here. All inquiries, critici ... More >>
Blogs
April 9, 2010
Fails Of The Week: Insane Clown Posse Hates Science, No Dylan In China, Rihanna & Ke$ha's Auto-Tour
If you're reading this, you're either on the Internet, or else you've mastered multi-dimensional thought-projection processes that would make Michio Kaku cry like a little girl. We'll assume the former, and just in case you don't already know, the Internet has decided that the word "failure" is too ... More >>
Blogs
April 16, 2010
Fails Of The Week: BBC 6 Listeners, Whitney Houston, Rolling Stone And MGMT
If you're reading this, you're either on the Internet, or else you've mastered multi-dimensional thought-projection processes that would make Michio Kaku cry like a little girl. We'll assume the former, and just in case you don't already know, the Internet has decided that the word "failure" is too ... More >>
Blogs
April 22, 2010
Nature's Revenge: Tunes For A Vengeful Planet
Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray We like to think of the planet we live on as "Mother" Earth, a caring, nurturing parent figure who we thoughtlessly abuse. Well, we at Rocks Off don't know if you've noticed, but Mom ain't exactly helpless. In fact, sometimes she seems less like a benevolen ... More >>
Blogs
May 21, 2010
FAIL: Jeff Beck, Jonas Brothers, Lilith Fair, ACL Fest
If you're reading this, you're either on the Internet, or else you've mastered multi-dimensional thought-projection processes that would make Michio Kaku cry like a little girl. We'll assume the former, and just in case you don't already know, the Internet has decided that the word "failure" is too ... More >>
Blogs
June 21, 2010
How Important Is It That Rappers Be "Real"?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday (that isn't a national holiday) Rocks Off will have some of them hear discussing issues relevant to their culture. This Week's Panel: Paul Wall, Fat Tony, Sam Sneed and Yung Redd Not Invited: Plies and Rick Ross Photo illustra ... More >>
Blogs
July 16, 2010
FAIL: Prince, Johnny Rotten, Too Short, Auto-Tune
Photos by John Seaborn GrayInternet Not As "Over" As Prince Had Hoped: Remember last week when Prince said the Internet was "over," and that was why he's now giving copies of his new CD away for free whenever you buy a copy of that thriving and relevant medium, a British newspaper? Well, ent ... More >>
Blogs
August 2, 2010
How Stressful Is Being A Rapper... Really?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday (that isn't a national holiday) Rocks Off will have some of them discuss issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: V-Zilla, Nosaprise, Preemo, Yung Redd, hasHBrown Not In ... More >>
Blogs
August 20, 2010
Post KTRU/KUHF, Possible Houston Mergers & Acquisitions To Come
Photo illustrations by John Seaborn GrayGozer has designs on the Galleria.Rice University and the University of Houston have reached a deal to convert KTRU into a 24-hour white-noise station to help our city's insomniacs. Fitzgerald's was just bought out by the guys who made Mango's a viable ... More >>
Blogs
August 23, 2010
A Simple Question This Week: Where The Ladies At?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday Rocks Off will have some of them hear discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: Nosaprise, Yung Redd, Kyle Hubbard Not Invited: Girls, apparently. Actually, w ... More >>
Blogs
August 25, 2010
8 Common Foods (That Are Poisonous)
Photo illustrations by John Seaborn GrayEarlier this week, Katharine Shilcutt took a look at 8 foods notable for containing trace amounts of radiation. She carefully pointed out that the radiation in those foods was so negligible, there's no real threat to you or me unless we were to ingest m ... More >>
Blogs
September 20, 2010
Why Do Rappers Always Go Onstage So Late?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday (that isn't a national holiday) Rocks Off will have some of them hear discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: Paul Wall, Fat Tony, K-Rino and Kyle Hubbard No ... More >>
Blogs
September 23, 2010
Top 5 Dumbest Holistic Remedy Foods
Photo illustrations by John Seaborn GrayYup, that's pretty much it.Some people prefer to base their belief systems on things like evidence, logic, reason and personal experience. That's all fine and dandy if you want to go through life believing only in things that can be substantiated by rep ... More >>
Blogs
October 1, 2010
FAIL: ABBA, Animal Collective, Diddy, Pete Doherty
Photo illustrations by John Seaborn GrayHooray! Now Your Feet Are Boring, Too!: A clothing designer called Keep took a whole bunch of ecstasy (probably) and then invited Animal Collective's Avery Tare to design some shoes for them. By "design," we of course mean "scribble on some plain beige ... More >>
Blogs
November 5, 2010
Nine More Washed-Up Musicians On Reality Shows
Photo illustrations by John Seaborn GrayEverybody's favorite lovelorn rock has-been Vince Neil has signed on to Skating With the Stars, an upcoming reality show sure to feature an exact recreation of the photo illustration above. Times, it seems, are tough all over, and Neil can't be the only ... More >>
Blogs
November 10, 2010
What Are Our Lazy Relatives Bringing to Thanksgiving?
There's one in every family. Everyone is supposed to bring a dish (preferably home-cooked) to the Thanksgiving dinner table, but there's one family member who can never quite get it right. Whether a victim of procrastination, incompetent cooking, or just plain not giving a rat's ass, at least one of ... More >>
Blogs
December 14, 2010
Can Rap Be Blamed For Teen Prostitution?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday (or thereabouts) that isn't a national holiday, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo Illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: Roderick Thornton, Preemo, Kyle ... More >>
Blogs
December 23, 2010
The Top WTF Moments Of The Year
Editor's Pick: WTF doesn't have to mean "bad," you know. About a week ago - a week exactly, as a matter of fact - En Vogue's "Free Your Mind" came on the PA at Fitzgerald's. I have been in a musical fog for a few months, where nothing was really connecting, but this song snapped me right out of it ... More >>
Blogs
December 29, 2010
Music's Top Five Hottest Trends For 2011
Photo illustrations by John Seaborn GrayEvery year-end Rocks Off prognosticates the likeliest trends in music for the upcoming year. So far, we've got a 100 percent success rate, although since the FBI made us take down all of our previous predictions, we have no way to prove it. So you'll j ... More >>
Blogs
December 30, 2010
Things We Never, Ever Want To Hear Again
Editor's Pick: Vampire Weekend's "Holiday." Everything I hate about indie rock (cloying, fey, highly irritating) and car commercials (they're car commercials) in about 15 seconds.. Repeated seven or eight times a fucking hour. Marc Brubaker: "Check us out on Twitter!" or anything else Twitt ... More >>
Blogs
December 31, 2010
The Worst Music Trends Of 2010
Editor's Pick: Shit. I spent my whole year either avoiding or ignoring trends. No reason to change now. Marc Brubaker: Many a person instructed me to place Ke(Dollar Sign)ha in this spot, but she's become so ubiquitous that I can't help but laugh when I hear her now. No, fine sirs, this awa ... More >>
Blogs
December 31, 2010
Rocks Off's 2011 New Year's Resolutions
Editor's Pick: To "support the scene" more in 2011. Just kidding. Marc Brubaker: Houston, I have a confession to make. As far as music writers go, this one is pretty bad, too: I have a terrible habit of sleeping on bands just because they are popular. Often, when a new band picks up a lot o ... More >>
Blogs
January 6, 2011
Jarred Corn Smut: It's What's for Dinner
I'm sure a lot of you, upon hearing the term "jarred corn smut," might assume that this post would be better off as an addendum to John Seaborn Gray's elegant treatise on whole chicken in a can and other packaged delights. I suppose that's why most choose to call the silvery-black fungus that ... More >>
Blogs
January 6, 2011
Comment of the Day: That Chicken
Here at Eating Our Words, we know that when something disturbs the hell out of you, it's best to talk about it. We can thank John Seaborn Gray for the most recent image we'd like scrubbed from our brains - a terrifying, whole chicken covered in gelatinous goo slipping from a can. We'd like to ... More >>
Blogs
January 11, 2011
The Rock & Roll Fantasy Camp From Hell
Rocks Off recently got invited to cover something known as Rock & Roll Fantasy Camp, which works a lot like baseball fantasy camp, except none of the participants can field a line-drive grounder. Among the idols rock campers will meet include 3 Doors Down, Mark Farner, the drummer from the Hooters a ... More >>
Blogs
February 21, 2011
If Executed, What Are Your Last Words And Last Meal?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: Bun B, Yung Redd, D-Risha, hasHBrown, Kyle Hubbard, Z-Ro, Kiotti Not Invited: ... More >>
Blogs
March 7, 2011
Will Mainstream Rap Ever Stop Objectifying Women?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn't a national holiday, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: Bun B, Lil Flip, D-Risha, Renzo, Kyle Hubbard, Do ... More >>
Blogs
March 21, 2011
Rappers: Is It Better To Be Rich Or Respected?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday (that isn't a national holiday) Rocks Off will have some of them hear discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: Eskabe, Kyle Hubbard, KDogg, Dice, O.N.E., UZOY, ... More >>
Blogs
June 3, 2011
Summer Fest Critic's Guide: Who We're Seeing At Tinsley
Jermaine RogersIn three very short years, Free Press Summer Fest has gone from an experiment most people thought would fail to destination music festival most people wouldn't dare miss even if it is going to be 105 degrees outside. Rocks Off has seen quite a bit of online chatter from people ... More >>
Blogs
June 28, 2011
What Was The Biggest Surprise At Sunday's BET Awards?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday (or thereabouts), Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photos illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: Bun B, Slim Thug, Killa Cal Wayne, Kiotti, Mac, Yung Chill, C ... More >>
Blogs
July 5, 2011
What Is The Best Boxing-Match Entrance Music?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn't a national holiday, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: Bun B, Paul Wall, One Hunnidt, Mac, O.N.E., Brad ... More >>
Blogs
October 4, 2011
Rappers Predict The Best & Worst Of BET's Hip-Hop Awards
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn't a national holiday, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: Preemo, Kyle Hubbard, Brad Gilmore, Medicine Gir ... More >>
Blogs
October 17, 2011
How Much Has Hip-Hop Affected Race Relations?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn't a national holiday, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: Kyle Hubbard, Mic Skills, Snoopy, Kiotti, Chingo ... More >>
Blogs
November 14, 2011
Rap Round Table: What Music-Related Thing Are You Most Thankful For?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: Rob Gullatte, Herney the Great, Pyrexx, Mac, Snoopy, Medicine Girl, Chane, Young Se ... More >>
Blogs
November 16, 2011
Your 2011 Houston Press Music Awards Winners
Photo By Marco TorresAll night, attendees to the awards show signed a special banner for Chris Gray.Check out our slideshow of this year's Houston Press Music Awards winners. It was a dandy of an evening last night at Warehouse Live as we handed out those silver records to some of Houston's ... More >>
Blogs
November 21, 2011
Three Days of Thanks: Rap Round Table
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: Not Invited: This Week's Prompt: There are a bunch of things we're responsible ... More >>
Blogs
November 21, 2011
Comment of the Day: Sexist or Silly?
Here on Eating Our Words, the commenters absolutely make the blog, and our Comment of the Day honors the best of the bunch. Every day, we read you guys and pick the commenter, or commenters, who made us laugh, cry, salivate over something delicious, or think about things in a new way. In re ... More >>
Blogs
December 5, 2011
Rap Round Table: What Is The Best Song You Have That Was Inspired By Another Human?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: Bun B, Young Sensation, Fat Tony, Hollywood Floss, O.N.E., hasHBrown, Kyle Hubbard ... More >>
Blogs
December 27, 2011
Rap Round Table: The Ten Best Discussions of the Year
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayWelp. Ya heard? That's that. It's the last week of 2011. That's cool. Or shitty. Whatevs. No matter. R ... More >>
Blogs
January 24, 2012
Which Words Are Rappers Tired Of Rappers Using?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: OG Ron C, Mac, Preemo, O.N.E., Kiotti, Brad Gilmore, YS, Medicine Girl, Kyle Hubbar ... More >>
Blogs
January 30, 2012
Top 5 Choice Bits
"Choice Bits" was my grandfather's term for those special pieces of dishes that are inherently more delectable than the other parts. Obviously, what constitutes "choice bits" differs from person to person: my sister, for examples, likes the "skin" of heated milk. Here are my top 5 choice bits ... More >>
Blogs
February 6, 2012
Rap Round Table: The Red Beast Is Nearing. Are You Prepared?
Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Each week Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn GrayThis Week's Panel: Fat Tony, KAB, Kyle Hubbard, Zavey, Medicine Girl, Mac, Eskabel, Delo, D-Risha, Rod ... More >>
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