Jose de Jesus Ortiz

A Little Too Ironic

Re: A Garland for the 'Stros?

A Garland for the 'Stros?

Who's Leaving First: Ed Wade, Cecil Cooper or Roy Oswalt?

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Jesus, Willie Taveras Just Isn't That Good

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

God’s Team, Jobu, Matt Holliday and Drayton McLane

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Barry Bonds Indicted on Charges of Perjury and Obstruction of Justice

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Jose de Jesus Ortiz Is a Turkey

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Stop the Insanity!!!

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Stuck with a Fork: Baseball Writers, Awards, Bonuses and Curt Schilling

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

John Royal's Christmas Wish List

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

John Royal’s Top Twenty Sports Moments of 2007, Part One

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Rebel Rebel: Straight Talk with Jose de Jesus Ortiz

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

20 Questions for Clemens

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Steroids and Baseball: Is Jose de Jesus Ortiz on Drugs?

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Steroids and Roger Clemens: Lanny Breuer's On Deck

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Spring Training: Meet the New ‘Stros…

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Announcing the Winner of Our Astros Marketing Slogan Contest…

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Spring Training: Roger Clemens, Bill Murray and Bill James

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Spring Training: Pain, Pain and Ball Girls

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Astros-Cardinals: Miguel Tejada Delivers with a Walk-Off Homer and a Manager-Trashing

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Astros-Cardinals: ‘Stros Lose Again, But It’s Not the Starting Pitching’s Fault

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

John Royal Is Sick and Tired (No, Seriously)

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Astros-Phillies: Jose Valverde Blows (the Save)

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Miguel Tejada, If That’s Your Real Name…

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Astros-Padres: Two in Row, Plus Robin Sparkles

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Steroids and Roger Clemens: More Awesomeness from Jose de Jesus Ortiz

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Steroids and Roger Clemens: Jose de Jesus Ortiz Hits a New Low

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Astros-Dodgers: All Hail Big Puma

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Astros-Giants: Biggio Attacked? Hold Up.

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

A Few Words for Brad Davies and Jose de Jesus Ortiz

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Astros-Phillies: Brad Lidge Gets the Save

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Cheap Move: Astros Draft Jason Castro

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

A Clubhouse Divided, Part Two

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Jason Friedman Signs Off

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

What’s Wrong with Richard Justice, Jose de Jesus Ortiz, Cecil Cooper and Carlos Lee, to Name a Few

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Jose de Jesus Ortiz Gives Up on the Astros Season

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Astros-Cubs: Lack of Quality Starts Finally Catches Up to Houston

The Astros were able to actually win a series this weekend, defeating the Pittsburgh Pirates in two of three games. And the good news is that they should be able to win a couple of games this week as their next four games are against the Colorado Rockies, another losing team, like the Astros, but on ... More >>

Rickey, Jose, the Hall of Fame, and Me

The string is unbroken. In the history of the Baseball Hall of Fame, no player has ever been elected unanimously. Not Babe Ruth. Not Nolan Ryan. Not Cal Ripken. Not Tony Gwynn. Not Rickey Henderson. The closest to achieving this elusive milestone was Tom Seaver who got 98.84 percent of the v ... More >>

Astros Spring Training Starts Friday

Pitchers and catchers report to Houston Astros spring training on Friday, which means that come Saturday, the Astros will be out of contention. And the Chron is getting everybody ready for the season to come with a couple of articles in yesterday's paper on the status of the team and its roster. ... More >>

Astros Spring Training Starts Friday

Pitchers and catchers report to Houston Astros spring training on Friday, which means that come Saturday, the Astros will be out of contention. And the Chron is getting everybody ready for the season to come with a couple of articles in yesterday's paper on the status of the team and its roster. ... More >>

Rickey, Jose, the Hall of Fame, and Me

The string is unbroken. In the history of the Baseball Hall of Fame, no player has ever been elected unanimously. Not Babe Ruth. Not Nolan Ryan. Not Cal Ripken. Not Tony Gwynn. Not Rickey Henderson. The closest to achieving this elusive milestone was Tom Seaver who got 98.84 percent of the v ... More >>

Bursting Bubbles

Someone sabotages a Channel 13 report

Astros Suck At Everything But Texting Anonymous Criticism Of Their Boss

Photo by Aaron M. SprecherI've got an admission to make. Baseball is my true love. My favorite sport. Yet I haven't really been following the Astros these past couple of weeks because I've found myself busy with the Houston Aeros. I know a little of how the team's been doing, and that Cecil Cooper o ... More >>

Racism and Cecil Cooper

Photo by Aaron M. SprecherCecil CooperApparently I'm a racist. I didn't know I was racist, but it seems that because I think Cecil Cooper is an idiot I'm a racist. At least that what's Jose de Jesus Ortiz blogs over at Chron.com. But here's the catch, Ortiz is responding to people accusing him of ... More >>

The Chronicle's Ortiz: Chief Of The Morality Police

I stumbled upon this Jose de Jesus Ortiz blog post on Sunday morning while I was in the process of trying to digest Saturday night's 13-2 Astros loss to the Washington Nationals. I puzzled over it during the day, but could never really make much sense of it. But then Deadspin got a hold of the thing ... More >>

The Astros: Where Pitching Careers Go To Die

Photo by Aaron M. Sprecher​I don't know what Cecil Cooper has against pitchers, but it's really beginning to harm the team. The Astros put Wesley Wright on the disabled list yesterday. Chris Sampson, who recently came off of the DL, is pitching as if he's still injured, and he and Cooper had a clo ... More >>

Milo Hamilton, Not Quite R.-ing I. P.

​Those of you who are still bothering with following the Astros, and who are still bothering to follow the Houston Chronicle's Jose de Jesus Ortiz's reporting on the Astros, were probably shocked the other day to read Ortiz's announcement that Astros broadcaster Milo Hamilton was suffering from c ... More >>

10 Candidates For The Job Of Astros Manager

Photo by Aaron M. Sprecher​Drayton McLane and his so-called brain trust are supposed to start meeting this week to discuss names for the next manager of the Houston Astros.Brian McTaggart over at Astros.com throws out some of the usual names we would expect to hear -- Jim Fregosi (friend of Ed Wa ... More >>

The (Alleged) Tragedy Of How The Astros Are Treating Jose Cruz

​So Jose Cruz is no longer the first-base coach of the Houston Astros. Now can someone please tell me why everybody is so upset? Seriously, what's the big deal?The guy was the first-base coach. His job consisted of patting Lance Berkman on the ass and showing the pitchers where second base was loc ... More >>