Justin Timberlake

Sugar, We're Going Down: Songs For the Candy Crush Craze

Two weeks ago, I was a normal, well-adjusted American man. Now, I'm a fiend in need of repeated fixes. I'm a junkie who can't get enough of that sweet stuff. I'm addicted to Candy Crush Saga. Let's say your mail's addressed to the rock you live under. In that case, you may never have heard of C ... More >>

An Honest Conversation About Houston and Screw Music

Every day without fail, I wonder about the current legacy of screw music. It creeps up on me like one of those terrible slasher flicks you used to sneak and watch as a teen, knowing the plot well before you even got halfway through the film: moments of what should be perceived as horror turned into ... More >>

Street Knowledge

The Geto Boys MC is also Rocks Off's brand-new advice columnist.

Top 10 Bands Your Girlfriend Cannot Stand

A shared taste in music can be a critical part of any couple's relationship, from going to a concert on their first date to narrowing down that one special song for their first wedding dance. But what if that's not the case? Just from a bit of casual Googling, it's not difficult to find divorce atto ... More >>

Dear Grammys, I'm Breaking Up With You

Dear Stupid Grammys, I have a bone to pick with you. I sat through Taylor Swift's uninspired opening act while she half-sung/half-yodeled at a guy on a spinning bullseye. It was complete with an insulting and transparent Alice in Wonderland costume ripoff (which I'm not getting, by the way... is s ... More >>

10 Movies to Watch in 2013

In theaters, on demand or wherever.

Girl Gone Wild: Madonna's Top 10 Dance/Club Chart-Toppers

For the past two weeks, Madonna's latest single, "Girl Gone Wild," has been sitting pretty at the top of Billboard's Hot Dance/Club Play chart. That's the chart that tabulates which songs are getting the most spins in discos and dance clubs. It's a cool, upbeat track about losing control of your de ... More >>

Five Good Reasons to Start Backing Up Your Computer Now

Back in the late '90s when a young Justin Timberlake was touring the world with 'N Sync and people still hadn't abbreviated "electronic" mail, a funny thing happened to me -- and by funny, I really mean horrifying. I had just installed a software update on my Bondi Blue iMac and was restarting when. ... More >>

Bedtime Stories: The Naughtiest Madonna Videos Ever (Semi-NSFW)

This weekend, the grand dame of American pop music, Madonna, will grace the halftime stage at Super Bowl XLVI. This is a major improvement from last year's more-inhuman-than-human Black Eyed Peas performance, which tested the resolve our country, and even the world. But we all survived. Who won the ... More >>

Director Danny Ocean Aims Far Beyond BET Uncut

Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group "Artist of the Week," bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn't awful? Email their particulars to sheaserrano@gmail.com. ​It's time for the Artist ... More >>

Who Are You? Songs Commonly Attributed To The Wrong Artists

​Last week, after the tragic, alcohol-fueled passing of Jackass hero Ryan Dunn, Rocks Off at Taco Cabana wearing a promotional shirt for The Hangover II that we stole borrowed from the office here at the Press. As we were loading our hands with condiment containers, a guy came up to us and sai ... More >>

Out Today: Tyler, The Creator's Goblin, The Cars Restarted...

​We now live in a world where Adele is a chart-topping artist, placing at number one slot the past few weeks, rubbing shoulders with the Foo Fighters, Katy Perry, Mumford & Sons, and Britney Spears. If Adele's 21 isn't on the top of everyone's best-of 2011 lists, there is no justice in the wor ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Alternatives for Your Iglesia-less Britney Spears Tour

Not opening for Britney, he doesn't.​By now you've all heard the devastating news; not about the continuing problems at Japan's Fukushima nuclear facility, though that's still pretty important...I guess -- no, I'm of course referring to Enrique Iglesias's decision to bail on the just-announced ... More >>

Settle Down, Chris Brown: Songs To Temper A Hot Temper

Marco TorresChris Brown at House of Blues, November 2009​Have you ever heard that phrase "When I do good, no one remembers; when I do bad, no one forgets"? This is the story of candy-rapper Chris Brown's life the past few years since he beat the ever-loving shit out of ex-girlfriend Rihanna fo ... More >>

Top 20 Despised, Yet Wildly Popular, Bands And Musicians

Scott Stapp, lead singer of Creed (above), stops at House of Blues tonight on his current acoustic tour. More than likely you have already clicked off this blog, or at least already gone on auto-pilot to call him a fuck-ass in the comments section. We'll wait a sec for you to come back. OK, the ... More >>

Idol Beat: Austin, So Much To Answer For

​Rocks Off would like to apologize for last week's outrageous behavior by Pete Vonder Haar. He has been warned, and assures us he will never compare Marc Anthony to an extra from Dawn of the Dead again. Steven Tyler dropped an F-bomb on this week's audition episode, which definitely warrants ... More >>

Top 10 Super Bowl Halftime Shows

idontlikeyouinthatway.com​This Sunday, Rocks Off will be live-blogging and tweeting this year's Super Bowl halftime show, which will feature noted scholars The Black Eyed Peas. We are diligently studying the entire BEP canon and that of all of their solo members, like the dedicated pop histori ... More >>

Top 10 Musician Movie Cameos

Rocks Off has no idea why Mick Jagger might prefer Performance to Ned Kelly.​Over recent years, Rocks Off has been repeatedly surprised by the quality performances of musicians in films. Naturally, there are some duds in the mix; even Mick Jagger himself, who starred in 1970's Ned Kelly, disow ... More >>

The Top Five Saturday Night Live Musician Impressions

​In the wake of the recent news that feted comedian/actor/YouTube sensation Jay Pharoah - above, known for his spoofs of A-list bait like Drake, Chris Tucker, 50 Cent, Jay-Z, Eddie Murphy, and President Obama - will join the cast of Saturday Night Live when its 36th season premieres September ... More >>

Top Eight Weirdest Saturday Night Live Musical Moments

​This past Saturday was Steve Martin's birthday and, if you're old enough, you may remember back to a time when the snow-capped comedian/actor/musician was more than just a comedy archaeologist, exhuming the corpses of classic comic franchises and defiling the shit out of them. No, he actually ... More >>

The Week in TV: Ellen Degeneres Realizes American Idol Sucks

Rob Lowe will soon join the cast of Parks and Recreation.​The dog days are upon us, the networks are planning for fall, and there's always money in the banana stand. This was the week in TV Land: • The Television Critics Association summer press tour has been going on for the past few days ... More >>

Fresh Fruit at Fruituzy

​In the comments section of a post on frozen yogurt at Chinatown's The Yogurt Spot a couple of Fridays ago, reader Puig mentioned that we should give Fruituzy a shot, too: For something different, try Fruituzy, from Fadi Dimassi. The idea was a yogurt bar with middle-east/mediterranean inflec ... More >>

Return of the Boomba

Crowd and music are equally animated at Escobar's weekly dubstep night.

Five '90s Musical Fads We Remember Well, But Don't Really Miss

​A little over a decade ago, swing music made a strange comeback. You may remember seeing people all over dressing like '40s hipsters, jumping and jiving in Gap commercials and most every club or bar was offering swing lessons. It started with the release of the film Swingers, which still mi ... More >>

He Said She Said: The Sweet, Sweet Sounds of Revenge

"A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well." - Sir Francis Bacon ihasahotdog.com​She Said has never been one for revenge, preferring to believe (at least), that people make their own beds. But if she was the vengeful type, she'd seek it out not ... More >>

Most Downloaded "Hope For Haiti" Texan? Although She Killed, Not Beyonce

Between fighting crime, reducing global warming, mending our socks and, you know, everything else Rocks Off does when we're away from the office, we caught a good bit of Friday evening's "Hope for Haiti" telethon. We didn't have much choice, because the George Clooney-organized, celebrity-packed fu ... More >>

Another Visit To Past Turkeys of the Year

​Do you remember The Alamo? Of course you don't. It was a terrible movie.But boy, did it get a lot of hype here in Texas. Papers did stories, Texas Monthly gave it a cover, and the American public gave it the finger.Which led to its inclusion as a 2004 Turkey of the Year, one in a string of years ... More >>

Beyonce Scheduled to Perform at Michael Jackson Memorial

Daniel Kramer ABC News is reporting that Beyonce, who sang tributes to Michael Jackson at her Toyota Center concert and at New Orleans' Essence Music Festival over the weekend, will perform at Jackson's funeral in Los Angeles this afternoon. Also expected to attend are Justin Timberlake, P Diddy, Sm ... More >>

Mexicans in the Movies

Turning the Screw: Paul Wall, Pink, The Kanye, Jay-Z, Eminem, Necro, Bow Wow, Black Eyed Peas, Big Moe and More

Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off's weekly rap post. It probably won't rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Thanks, homies. Single of the Week: "Bizzy Body," Paul Wall feat. Webbie Wire To Wire Pink is upset at The Kanye because of his appreciatio ... More >>

Robin Thicke, Jennifer Hudson

Janet Jackson's Houston Nipple Flash Refuses To Die

What, you thought you were getting nip?The single greatest news event to occur in Houston since the turn of the century -- one that's clearly gotten more ink than Ike -- is Janet Jackson's Super Bowl-icious nipple. (Katrina we're counting as a N'Awlins event.)The Awesome Areola is back in the ... More >>

Charges Against Wayna Dismissed; T.I. Off To Jail

It's good news today for two performers, even if one of them is going to jail. Don't look so confused; we'll explain in just a bit. But first we have to congratulate Grammy-nominated R&B singer Wayna, who got picked up last year at Bush Intercontinental Airport right here in Houston for carrying a w ... More >>

Tonight: Crystal Stilts at Rudyard's

Crystal Stilts hails from Brooklyn, N.Y., and specializes in the sort of shoegaze-indebted garage rock that's so dangerously laid back it's just short of comatose. I've never caught 'em live, but my guess is that their shows are rapturous, daze-inducing events - religious drone-pop experiences, ... More >>

Photoshop Phun At The Baylor College Of Medicine

The wonders of Photoshop are bountiful -- they let Sooner football fans taunt UT; they allow people to make bold, trenchant analysis of the current socio-political world by showing George Bush in his "Mission Accomplished" flightsuit in unlikely settings; they probably have something to do with lolc ... More >>

Last Night: Sean Reefer & the Resin Valley Boys at Boondocks

5ingles: The Breeders, Mariah Carey, Lupe Fiasco, Madonna, Hannah Montana

Get Lit: Doo Wop: The Music, The Times, The Era, by "Cousin Brucie" Morrow with Rich Maloof

Chris Brown

The fleet-footed teen idol's latest

Still a P.I.M.P.

My Man-Crush on 50 Cent

Drenched In Blog: Scarlett Johansson Teams Up with Dave Sitek, Is Totally Hot

Rotation: Timbaland Presents Shock Value

Hussy 'N' Flow

God-fearing black man tames slutty white girl as Craig Brewer's South rises again

Katz's Deli's

5th Avenue

YuleTube

Little Bit Louder Now ...

Taking Back Sunday turn up the volume

The Hipster's Guide to Rock and Roll Vendettas

And you thought rappers were the only ones who had beefs

Playbill

Pink

Tuesday, May 14

Reach for the Sky

The selfishness of Hands Up Houston nourishes Space City's beleaguered indie scene