Kate Middleton

Resolutions of the Rich and Famous

Royal Wedding: The Five Hottest Royal Brides In History

Hair Balls was positively ecstatic to learn that Prince William is getting hitched to longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton. Although the wedding isn't planned until 2011, we're already worrying over what to wear, and what to get the happy couple (we're pretty sure they'll register at Target). But in t ... More >>

Prince William: Who's Playing The Royal Wedding?

Now, if it were Prince Harry's wedding...​Sorry, ladies. Prince William is (almost!) officially off the market. When the future King of England officially announced his engagement to girlfriend Kate Middleton earlier today, Rocks Off instantly envisioned potential entertainers for the couple' ... More >>

A Royal Pain In The Ass

​And I was still suffering residual boredom from the last one. I have to give our media credit; unemployment still hovering around 10%, cholera spreading to the Dominican Republic from Haiti, and terror threats abroad, and every morning news show has devoted a good 20 minutes of programming e ... More >>

Prince William's Bachelor Party: A Snoopadelic Recap

Photo illustrations by John Seaborn GrayClick image to enlarge (trust us on this one)​When Rocks Off saw a press release with the subject line, "SNOOP DOGG RELEASES BRAND NEW SONG FOR PRINCE WILLIAM'S BACHELOR PARTY," we assumed perhaps April Fool's had arrived early. Last week, you see, whe ... More >>

Like the Obamas Wanted to Go to Your Stupid Royal Wedding Anyway

The invite the Obamas -- and you -- didn't receive​Despite having cast off the shackles of the British monarchy over 230 years ago, our great nation has yet to free itself of the embarrassingly colonial obsession with all matters concerning the Royal Family. A cursory scan of Google News yest ... More >>

Pop Rocks: The Black Hole of Infotainment

Jesus christ...​I wonder sometimes if we're approaching the singularity in entertainment reporting. A "singularity," as we all know, is the point in which gravitational forces cause matter to have an infinite density and zero volume. If we define "density" as "number of stories and/or article ... More >>

The Royal Wedding: Five Ominous Signs In Their Astrological Charts

The official photo of engagement happiness​Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married this week, as you might have heard. The happy couple will be literally following in the footsteps of Prince Charles and Diana, and we all know how well that turned out. What do things look like f ... More >>

Royal Wedding Can Go On: Annise Parker Has Given Her Blessing

Jessica Michan​Ending months of increasingly frantic nervous speculation by Prince William and (especially) Kate Middleton, Mayor Annise Parker has greatly eased their mind by officially writing a congratulatory letter, the last big hurdle before any Royal Wedding in London. Preparations for F ... More >>

Pop Rocks: How To Profit Off The Royal Wedding

$100 gets you $10000 if V blows up Parliament​The big day is finally almost upon us. After months of sweaty anticipation by domestic news agencies, Prince William of Wales will marry Kate Middleton at Westminster Abbey "on the morrow," as they say (probably) over there. That is, unless one of ... More >>

English Desserts for the Royal Wedding

Flickr user: Allerina & Glen MacLartyBanoffee Pie​Well, ladies, the jig is up. It's official; none of us will be the future queen of England. As the world waits with bated breath to see what Kate Middleton will wear, whether anyone will make a faux pas, and how much better Prince Harry will lo ... More >>

The Royal Wedding Gets Even Cheesier at Central Market

​I don't know what I was expecting when I heard that Central Market was hosting Sarah "The Cheese Lady" Kaufmann over the weekend, who was prepared to carve a portrait of William and Catherine -- the new Duke and Duchess of Cambridge -- out of a giant wheel of Cheddar cheese in honor of the ro ... More >>

Canada Day: Top 10 Artists From Way Up Yonder

​Hello? Is this thing on? Rocks Off has a feeling that a lot of folks are nowhere near their computers today. Must be some sort of holiday. It is, actually. Today, not Monday. It's Canada Day, or as it's known in the U.S., "What Is Princess Kate Wearing?" Day. (Also, Friday.) Honestly, Rocks ... More >>

Capsule Stage Reviews: Once Upon a Mattress, Sylvia

​Hello? Is this thing on? Rocks Off has a feeling that a lot of folks are nowhere near their computers today. Must be some sort of holiday. It is, actually. Today, not Monday. It's Canada Day, or as it's known in the U.S., "What Is Princess Kate Wearing?" Day. (Also, Friday.) Honestly, Rocks ... More >>

Capsule Stage Reviws: Damaged Divas of the Decades, Once Upon a Mattress, Sylvia

​Hello? Is this thing on? Rocks Off has a feeling that a lot of folks are nowhere near their computers today. Must be some sort of holiday. It is, actually. Today, not Monday. It's Canada Day, or as it's known in the U.S., "What Is Princess Kate Wearing?" Day. (Also, Friday.) Honestly, Rocks ... More >>

Capsule Stage Reviews: Damaged Divas of the Decades, Farragut North, Goodbye Charlie, Kissless the Musical, Once Upon a Mattress, A Triumph of Love

​Hello? Is this thing on? Rocks Off has a feeling that a lot of folks are nowhere near their computers today. Must be some sort of holiday. It is, actually. Today, not Monday. It's Canada Day, or as it's known in the U.S., "What Is Princess Kate Wearing?" Day. (Also, Friday.) Honestly, Rocks ... More >>