Kate Upton

  • Blogs

    June 25, 2014

    Never Forget, LeBron: Zapruder Analysis Of Dan Gilbert's Irate 2010 Letter

    So LeBron James is unofficially officially going to be a free agent come July 1, according to his agent, Rich Paul. If history is any indicator, this means that LeBron is ready to embark on a series of sales pitches, looking to be wowed, trying to find the next place to continue to build his resume ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 31, 2014

    BATTLE-DRINK, SUPER BOWL: Manning, Sherman, and Weed! OH MY!

    Well, it finally happened! After a week's worth of exhaustively discussing the Seahawks depth on defense, Peyton Manning's wobbly spirals, and Marshawn Lynch's reluctance to use his words, we finally got a nice, juicy hooker story to spice up Super Bowl week! Granted, no NFL players were involved ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 16, 2013

    Zapruder Analysis Of My Trip To Santa's Wonderland

    "Take care of your 24." That saying comes from charismatic second year University of Connecticut basketball coach Kevin Ollie. Basically, what it means is that there are only 24 hours in every day, so make every minute count, budget your time, stay balanced, and make sure to live life to the fulle ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 15, 2013

    James Harden's Subtle Sense of Humor on Full Display in New Foot Locker Ad

    The chill, '70s vibe that James Harden gives off in interviews seems to be his genuine personality. He's like the Billy D. Williams of the modern NBA, but instead of smooth, malt liquor ads in front of a roaring fireplace, Harden does seriously funny ads for Foot Locker, including this newest commer ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 24, 2013

    A Statistical Look Back At The Freak Show That Was MLB 2001

    When it comes to baseball's latest steroid fiasco, the Biogenesis scandal, we know of a few familiar names, the most prominent being Yankees third basemen Alex Rodriguez, who hasn't played a meaningful inning of baseball in about a year, and Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun, who just got pinched two da ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 3, 2013

    Less Sports, More Boobs: Guy Talk and the De-Evolution of Sports Talk Radio

    I'm a native Houstonian. I grew up a fan of Houston sports teams, and I spent a lot of time as a kid listening to sports talk radio. There were no sports-only stations in the 1970s and 1980s. Multiple stations aired games (am I the only person who remembers the Astos games once being on 104 KRBE). A ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 30, 2013

    Kate Upton, Boobs and Softball: ESPN 97.5 Hosts Stay Classy in Interview with Lamar Coach

    I really don't like "guy talk." I'm sure there is a place for it on radio. Hell, there's a place for shows about pretty much anything you like when you combine terrestrial and satellite radio. But, what makes "guy talk" so insidious is that it masquerades as sports talk simply because, well clearly ... More >>

  • Culture

    March 14, 2013
  • Blogs

    February 15, 2013

    (UPDATED) The NBA Announces Their 2013 Hall Of Fame Finalists; UH's Guy V. Makes The Cut

    (Updated with statement from Guy V. Lewis' family.) Today at the Hilton Americas just steps away from the Toyota Center, the NBA announced their nominees for induction into the Basketball Hall of Fame. The formal announcement of inductees doesn't come until April 8th at the Final Four festivities i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 8, 2013

    Connor Barwin Is Looking To Give Playoff Tickets To His Most Zealous Stalker

    Playing NFL football is not an easy job, and this by no means has been an easy season for Texans outside linebacker Connor Barwin. Coming off his best season as a pro in 2011 with 11.5 sacks and unable to come to terms on a long-term extension with the Texans during the preseason, the fourth year pl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 4, 2013

    ESPN's Tom Rinaldi And Tim Tebow Are BFF's, Somewhere Thom Brenneman Weeps (w/ PHOTO)

    It's been a rough few months for one Timothy Tebow. Despite his excitement over being traded to the Jets during the offseason last year, he's been relegated to punt protect and gimmicky specialist roles (some of them working out with predictably hilarious results), been passed on the quarterback dep ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2012

    Mugshot Etiquette 101: Don't Smile Unless You Did Something Cool

    Every day here at Hair Balls we get to see great, sad, and dumbfounding mugshots from around the state of Texas. We sure do have a lot of criminals in the Lone Star State. Makes me fearful of seceding in 2025. REWIND: Sean Payne: Humble Man Too Drunk To Pose for His Mugshot REWIND: Michael Jordan ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 19, 2012

    20 Reasons To Buy 2013 Astros Season Tickets (No, Really)

    You've probably forgotten about baseball by now. The Astros season ended a long time ago, and unless you live in St. Louis or New York, the odds are that nobody really gives a damn about the Cardinals and Yankees. It might be nice if the Detroit Tigers make the World Series if Kate Upton shows up to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 4, 2012

    Houston Sports Stories That Need Their Own ESPN #30For30 Episodes

    Red-Blooded American Man's newest obsession -- behind Kate Upton -- has to be ESPN's 30 For 30 series. The sports documentary series takes on notable and not-so-notable events in sports history and gives them the 360-degree treatment. Since 30 For 30 debuted in late 2009, the directors have tackle ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2012

    Dear Olympics: More Nudity And/Or Violence, Please

    "We live in a cynical world, a cynical, cynical world..." said a very smart man once. Maybe it was Nietzsche, or Elmer Fudd. Artifacts like the Olympics -- both the summer and winter variety -- have grown boring and stale. TV giant NBC is getting torn to shreds for including haircut Ryan Seacrest ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 31, 2012

    JFK At 95: What If He Lived?

    Had he not been felled by assassins bullets back in 1963, President John F. Kennedy would have turned 95 years old this week. That's if old age and some tragic and wacky Kennedy curse accident wouldn't have done him in first. Would he and Jackie have spent their entire lives together, or would the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 10, 2012

    Drafting A New MTV Rock N' Jock Softball Game

    If you mention and explain the concept of MTV's Rock N' Jock to '90s babies, they will look at you glassy-eyed and slowly walk away. But it's true, in the late '80s and early '90s it was possible to gather the best and sexiest celebrities in TV, film and music for a carefree softball match, with pro ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 15, 2011

    Tumblrin' Dice: Kanye West Does Like White People

    West with Kelly Osbourne, white daughter of noted white musician Ozzy Osbourne.​This morning in our daily Tumblr stroll for skull and Katy Perry pics, we found Kanye West With White People, a site dedicated to pictures of Der Fuhrer West with various white folks who are in natural poses, even ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 15, 2011

    Happy Father's Day: Country Songs For Country Daddies

    Monica Fuentes​In country music, fathers are either saints with strong hands capable of spinning wonder and magic, or grim drunks who want nothing more than to beat their wives and children and induce general misery. After spending a lifetime listening to some of these songs, some bringing tea ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 19, 2011

    Stone Deaf Forever: Rockers With Hearing Loss

    ​The wages we pay to rock and roll aren't always of the sinful and hungover variety. Some of us pay, dearly, with our hearing, one of the best gifts that God has given humanity. Besides Kate Upton that is. Today is Pete Townshend's 66th birthday, and The Who guitarist is just one of countles ... More >>