Lance Berkman

The All-Time Ultimate Astros Roster

The Astros are celebrating their 50th season in major league baseball this year. The team's going to be rolling out the throwback uniforms on Friday nights, and they'll probably find other ways to celebrate their history before making a new start of it in the American League next season. I thought ... More >>

20 Ways the Astros Are Still Losing Even Though They're Not Playing

Yep, Ed Wade's even a fool in the movies.​This past season was a painful one to watch and endure for Houston Astros fans. But even in the off-season the painful hits just keep on coming. 20. The owner of the Texas Rangers, Nolan Ryan, is getting plenty of airtime from Fox and TBS every nigh ... More >>

Worst Sports Night Ever? Texans Lose, Cards & Rangers to the Series

You'll have to put up with Tony LaRussa's mug for awhile.​Our Houston Texans analysis will be coming later, due to some unforeseen circumstances, but in its place let us ponder how the sporting gods have toyed with us. Sure, beating the Ravens in Baltimore would have been a big upset. But the ... More >>

The Best Fourth Songs On History's Greatest Albums

Sorry, Manowar, maybe next year...​As we come up on the July 4th weekend, Rocks Off considered a myriad of blog ideas to commemorate the holiday. Most patriotic songs, album covers, artists? Sorry, Lee Greenwood, Richard Pryor, and Ted Nugent, but it's all been covered. On this weekend of inde ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Thou Shalt Not Criticize St. Biggio

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Lance Berkman & Roy O: Don't Retire Their Numbers, Drayton

JR Richard: Here's one number that should be retired​With the trades of Roy Oswalt and Lance Berkman last week, the talk has started about whether the Astros should consider retiring their numbers once they retire. Now as much as I like to the honor the history of baseball and some of the great te ... More >>

Game Time: Roy Oswalt and Lance Berkman -- Five Thoughts

Photo by groovehouseActually enjoying a game at Minute Maid?​I know it's only three games. I know they were playing the Brewers. I know my judgment may be clouded by the fact that they actually won all three games, getting great pitching in the process. But I actually enjoyed going to an Ast ... More >>

The Post-Oswalt Astros: Oy

Bye-bye, dude​The seemingly impossible happened yesterday, as the Astros front office found a moment of competence and finally found a way to trade Roy Oswalt.Of course, this being the Astros' front office, Oswalt ended up with the Philadelphia Phillies in a deal about as surprising as Gary Kubiak ... More >>

Game Time: The Oswalt Redemption

Lance Berkman -- next to go? -- at a Furry convention​"I guess it comes down to a simple choice really...get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." -- Andy DufresneIf you're a true competitor, at some point the front office ineptitude goes beyond constraining, and the losing becomes suffocating.For Roy ... More >>

Houston's 10 Best Sports Moments*

*And the 5 most heartbreaking...

Hey Astros, Here's a Thought: Bench Carlos Lee

​The Astros Twitter feed was rather shocked that Carlos Lee couldn't bend over and make a play on a ground ball in left field last night. It's as if the Astros writers thought there was either a legitimate outfielder in left field, or that Carlos Lee actually gave a damn about anything that ha ... More >>

Game Time: Watch Me Compare Astros GM Ed Wade To Jennifer Love Hewitt

​The mood in the Astros clubhouse yesterday after the 2-1 loss to the Phillies was about what you'd expect. Michael Bourn tried to stay upbeat, citing that the team is fighting hard and they know they have good players. (Fortunately, unlike many around Minute Maid Park, Bourn sounded like he act ... More >>

Drayton Keeps On Raking In The Dough, Even As The Team Goes Nowhere

​Here's a little something to remember the next time you venture out to Minute Maid Park. The Houston Astros are the 11th most valuable franchise in major league baseball. In fact, the team's franchise value increased over its value from last season, despite dropping attendance and awful play.S ... More >>

Game Time: Prediction Monday -- Men's Hoops Finals And The Astros' 2010 Season

​NCAA MEN'S HOOPS FINALS (Butler vs Duke, 8:21 PM tip-off)When I ranked the list of NCAA Finals permutations from "Most Compelling" to "Least Compelling" in this space last week, I had Butler vs Duke ranked as the most compelling. The figurative "Cinderella" (although let's not forget that Cinde ... More >>

A (Somewhat Limited) List Of Reasons To Watch The Astros This Season

Photo by Aaron M. Sprecher​So I had a friend the other day asking me why he should bother with watching the Houston Astros this season. I went with the because-you-love-baseball answer, and he went the-Astros-aren't-baseball answer. And I've got to confess, looking at Brian McTaggart's proposed ... More >>

11 Things To Ponder As The Astros Open Spring Training

​Pitchers and catchers are reporting to Houston Astros camp today. The first workout is tomorrow. It's going to be a spring training full of questions for the Astros as management, the media, the players, and the fans try to figure out just what exactly this year's team is going to be like. As ... More >>

The Astros, Hanging On Despite Themselves

The Houston Astros beat the Los Angeles Dodgers and Thursday and Friday to get their record to 46-44. For a short time, the Astros were in a three-way tie for second place in the NL Central. And with the first-place St. Louis Cardinals coming in for three games starting tonight, there was a chan ... More >>

Houston Astros 2009 Season Preview Part 2: Happy Opening Day!

Photo by Michael (mx5tx) Are you psyched? I'm psyched, so I hope you're psyched. Of course, I'm psyched because I love baseball, not because I think the Astros are any good. And after I take a look at the team, I don't think you'll be psyched about this team, either. But first...here is the winn ... More >>

Cecil Cooper, Standup Comic

Thanks to Jose de Jesus Ortiz of the Chron, I'm able to bring you the comedy stylings of Houston Astros manager Cecil Cooper. Only problem is, according to Ortiz, Cecil Cooper wasn't joking. "We should win 90 games this year," Cooper told the press yesterday. The Astros are going to "go under ... More >>

Cecil Cooper, Standup Comic

Thanks to Jose de Jesus Ortiz of the Chron, I'm able to bring you the comedy stylings of Houston Astros manager Cecil Cooper. Only problem is, according to Ortiz, Cecil Cooper wasn't joking. "We should win 90 games this year," Cooper told the press yesterday. The Astros are going to "go under ... More >>

Houston Astros 2009 Season Preview

The Chron tried to get everybody in the mood for baseball yesterday with their story on what the 2009 Houston Astros roster looks like. If you're not excited about the season, don't blame the Chron because they're not the ones who put the roster together. And folks, this isn't a good roster. Citing ... More >>

Houston Astros 2009 Season Preview

The Chron tried to get everybody in the mood for baseball yesterday with their story on what the 2009 Houston Astros roster looks like. If you're not excited about the season, don't blame the Chron because they're not the ones who put the roster together. And folks, this isn't a good roster. Citing ... More >>

Astros-Pirates: Another Win for Houston

Astros-Brewers: Corey Hart Still Looking Good

Astros-Giants: Don’t Get Your Hopes Up, People

Astros-Cubs: Setting the Clocks Back to Lima Time

Moehler Flirts with Complete Game, Wins At Least One Heart in the Process

Astros-Pirates: The Battle for Last Place Continues

A Houston Astros Mid-Season Progress Report

Astros-Dodgers: Speaking of Predictions, Guess Who Got Last Month Right

A Clubhouse Divided, Part Two

A Clubhouse Divided?

Astros-Brewers: The ‘Stros Hold onto First Place (in Homers Surrendered)

Astros-Brewers: Just What Will It Take for Cecil Cooper to Bench Miguel Tejada and Carlos Lee?

Astros-Pirates: Wait, So Now Houston Is a Pitching Team?

John Royal's Forecast for the Astros in June: Not So Hot

Astros-Cardinals: St. Louis Smacks Houston Again

Astros-Cubs: So That’s What a Good Team Looks Like…

This Just In: Craig Biggio to Become St. Thomas Baseball Coach

Astros-Marlins: How Did Roy Oswalt Become Woody Williams?

Astros-Cardinals: Miguel Tejada Delivers with a Walk-Off Homer and a Manager-Trashing

Who's On Deck for the Houston Astros in 2008?

The Astros' post-Biggio era begins with a lot of unanswered questions, but the biggest one of all is: Just how bad are things going to get?

Trade Talk: Miguel Tejada, Jose Valverde, Chris Burke, Mark Prior and Lance Berkman

Aubrey Huff Loves the Ladies, Part Two: Now with Video!

Dreaming with the Astros

Drayton Says the Astros Are a Good Team. Why Shouldn't We Believe Him?

Fire Phil Garner

So You Guys Are Talking About the Astros, Right?

Back to Busch

The Astros' first five NLCS games, as they happened

Encore or Bust?

Stressing about the 'Stros begins anew