Larry the Cable Guy

Five Pop-Culture Places You Wouldn't Expect to See Foreigner

Did you know last week was Foreigner singer Lou Gramm's birthday? Well, it was on May 2, when he turned 63. So what better way to (belatedly) honor him than to look back at some of the strangest places Gramm has managed to promote his musical career? Yes, Foreigner is a ubiquitous band. The use of ... More >>

Happy E-Day: What If Elvis Had Lived?

Note: Elvis Presley would be 78 years old today, if he had not (supposedly) died in Memphis in August 1977. This article originally appeared as part of Rocks Off's "Elvis Week" in January 2011, and still seems plausible two years later. Do you realize that Woody Allen, Julie Andrews, the dude who w ... More >>

Blue Hate Special: Loving to Loathe Guy Fieri

We've all seen this spiked, peroxide-dyed Food Network star eating his way across America's heartland. We've all heard him choking out limp catchphrases around mouthfuls of food, wheezing out airy, hyena-like whinnies of laughter while wiping grease and mustard off of his perfectly manicured, bleac ... More >>

Upcoming: Jane's Addiction, Ted Nugent, Yanni, Spoon, David Allan Coe, Doobie Brothers, Garbage

Adelaine, Kameron, The Blackout Heist: Mon., April 2. Fitzgerald's, 2706 White Oak, Houston. Anders Osborne: Wed., May 9. Dosey Doe Coffee Company, 25911 I-45 N., Spring. Another Run, The Suffers, Mantis, Tax The Wolf: Sat., March 31. Fitzgerald's Band of Skulls, Balam Acab, Superhumanoids: Fri., ... More >>

The Hair Balls Super Bowl Live Blog: Remember To Piss

In some alternate universe, the streets of Houston are currently bathed in Miller Lite, Reliant Stadium and every bar in town is a watch party, with even the homeless folks are wearing soiled Texans jerseys. But alas, our Houston Texans only made it into the second round of the playoffs, and here we ... More >>

How Not to Text a Teen

Lewd sexts to 14-year-old

Top Five Most Overpaid Musicians In The World

​Last month Forbes released their list of the 25 highest-earning musicians of 2010, and the list contains several talents Rocks Off is happy to see keeping the lights on. No. 1 on the list, U2, is still a favorite of ours after all these years, and it's always good to see Tom Petty, Jay-Z, and ... More >>

Future Elvis: What If The King Had Lived?

​Do you realize that Woody Allen, Julie Andrews, the dude who was in the Darth Vader suit, and Ron Paul are all the same age as Elvis Presley would be on Saturday? Look at Woody Allen next time you see him on TMZ and just think, he's as old as Elvis. In order to get in the frame of mind to t ... More >>

The Ten Worst Movies of 2011...In Advance

Oh, don't act surprised.​2011 is barely out of the oven and I'm already filled with dread. Could it be the fact I've spent the entire year so far coughing up chunks of green lung tissue? That I've finally despaired of ever finding a writing gig that doesn't involve "Lady Gaga sex tape" Google ... More >>

Why Aren't There Any Good Conservative Comedians?

​It's a valid question, even in light of the specter of Satanism rearing its seven heads over Delaware last week. Actually, maybe that's the quick and dirty answer to my question: the reality of the Tea Party is funnier than any airplane food joke Christine O'Donnell could tell at the Improv. ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Flame, Hollywood, Flame

Another well-adjusted Prop 8 supporter​I'm sure you've all heard the terrible news by now: Judge Vaughn "Mussolini" Walker declared California's gay marriage ban unconstitutional. Obviously I don't have to tell you what severe ramifications this will have, not only for the soul of our country ... More >>

American Idol: The Tumor is Removed...Eventually

​This is my first season of American Idol, and thus my first brush with the behemoth that is "Idol Gives Back." This is the third time the show has staged its charity event, and there were far fewer celebrities this year. The goal was ostensibly to educate viewers about the plight of the needy ... More >>

American Idol: The Tumor is Removed... Eventually

​This is my first season of American Idol, and thus my first brush with the behemoth that is "Idol Gives Back." This is the third time the show has staged its charity event, and there were far fewer celebrities this year. The goal was ostensibly to educate viewers about the plight of the needy ... More >>

Sarah Vowell Comes To Beaumont (Of All Places)

​Something about the idea of Sarah Vowell, that This American Life star, regular NPR contributor, droll historian, frequent Jon Stewart foil, voice of Violet of The Incredibles and all around Person Who White People Like coming to Beaumont was utterly irresistible.It seemed like the exact inverse ... More >>

Aftermath: A Quiet Night At The Rodeo With Lady Antebellum, John Mellencamp (Sort Of) And Larry The Cable Guy

Photos by Jason Wolter​ On Monday night, Lady Antebellum performed to a crowd of a little more than 65,000. Having been in a band, the idea of playing in front of so many people is both exciting and nerve-racking, but by RodeoHouston standards it's about middle of the road, and felt like less. It ... More >>

The Week In TV: Jay Leno's Flagpin And, For Some Ungodly Reason, An Animated Joe Dirt

​Winter's back, the sun is gone, and Fox just put another Joss Whedon show out to pasture. This was the week in TV Land:• So, Jay Leno went on Oprah's show last week to talk about his side of the whole late-night debacle. (Out of every weird thing about the interview, tops was the American flag ... More >>

Yes, Jo Koy Will Talk About His Mom This Weekend

​Comedian Jo Koy is having a great year, even if he isn't having a great week. He's got the flu and he's spending the holidays in airports and hotel rooms as he travels around the country doing his stand-up show. Hair Balls got to talk to him between flights, after he had just spent two hours wai ... More >>

The Best and Worst Christmas Specials of All Time

Every winter brings the onslaught of family tension, shopping, and that most American of pastimes, the Christmas special. They're typically half an hour, though they can be longer, and they often take characters from an already-established world and run them through the gauntlet of festivities surro ... More >>

5 Real-Life Rock-Star Stereotypes More, Well, Flaming Than Adam Lambert

​We hate to be those people, but it's true: stereotypes exist for a reason. Our theory is that stereotypes propagate themselves from the insecurities of people who believe they're "supposed" to be some kind of archetype, whether it's the toughest gangsta, the punkest punk rocker or the hick with t ... More >>

Distant Early Warning: 30FootFall, Agnostic Front, Dropkick Murphys, George Thorogood, Joe Ely, Slayer, etc.

​30FootFall: Fri., Dec. 25. Fitzgerald's. Agnostic Front, Death By Stereo: Sun., Jan. 24. Walter's on Washington. American Sharks, The Watermarks: Wed., Nov. 25. Boondocks. Band of Heathens: Fri., Dec. 11. Old Quarter Acoustic Cafe. Basses Loaded, Springfield Riots, Nosaprise: Fri., Nov. 27, 8 p. ... More >>

FlashForward: From Awesomely Bad to Boringly Bad

Spoiler alert: I'm half-assing this one! Because for reals, if you're still watching FlashForward expecting a great show, you've got problems. But if you keep reading this blog expecting the torrent of bad TV I watch every week to drive me crazy, well, you just might be in luck. The episode opene ... More >>

Our top DVD picks scheduled for release this week:

Fart Fest: Larry the Cable Guy Gives Houston Another Chance to Blow $43.75

Odd Couples

Strange musical pairings

BEERS, STEERS AND...

Fried Twinkies, $5 bumper cars, Hannah Montana and the hardest working kids in Texas

The Oh in Ohio

Parker Posey and Paul Rudd get their Oh faces on

Our top DVD picks for the week of August 8

Kickin' the Tires

Pixar's latest is no lemon, but it does have that used-Cars smell

Big Chicken

Comedian/pitchman Bruce Bruce wings it at the Improv