Len Goodman

Miss Pop Rocks: I Can’t Get Enough of Marie Osmond Fainting

Dancing With the Stars: Things Ain't The Same Without Delay

Someone needs to find this guy a hobby...​I'll be honest: I didn't know if I'd be able to find the strength to soldier on now that Tom "Dazzle Me Dreamy" DeLay had left Dancing With the Stars. What light be light if Tommy be not seen? Now I finally knew what Jesse and Slater meant when they sa ... More >>

Dancing With the Stars: Bad Luck, Chuck

If you watch this, you're going to need to explain yourself​The arrival of another Dancing With the Stars results show always fills me with a queasy mix of relief and dread. Relief, because it's only an hour long instead of two, and another couple will be eliminated, bringing us all that much ... More >>

Dancing With the Stars: Damn That Michael Irvin!

​It's the halfway point of the season! Tom Bergeron said so! I wish he'd said that the night before, when I was glumly pondering how many more episodes this season would foist upon an innocent populace. But there you go: only a few left. Here's hoping someone gets really hurt. The opening cr ... More >>

Dancing With the Stars: Hey, Mambo!

​Holy crap, you guys! It's week six of Dancing With the Stars! I thought I'd be dead by now. Tom Bergeron's trademark breathless intro made it sound like the celebrities on this show have been at war or something instead of just wearing sequined shirts and soaking up some free press, but he di ... More >>

Dancing With the Stars: Go Home Already, Irvin

A heated competition where anything's possible and the winners are usually juicing: That's right, folks, it's the seventh week of Dancing With the Stars. Let's do it! This week saw another double-dance night -- one individual, one team -- to be followed by another double elimination. And I know ... More >>

Dancing With the Stars: Puppet Theater of Doom

Goodbye, sweet douchebag. Fare thee well.​It's the eighth week of Dancing With the Stars, and I think we all deserve a warm thanks for making it so far. Although really, most of you aren't watching the show and only read these blog posts with a sick fascination to see if I've actually snapped ... More >>

Dancing With the Stars: Suck It, Maxim Model!

Kelly Osbourne gives her best "suck it, you model bitch" pose.​This is it. The ninth week of Dancing With the Stars has now come and gone. Only now do I understand the bittersweet joy of watching a baby grow up. This week's pointless encore command performance was Mya's salsa, which had earn ... More >>