Lindsay Lohan

How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Music Festival: Actors

So Ashton Kutcher allegedly got in a fight at the Stagecoach Music Festival. I know, it's a little mind-boggling, that whole idea. Ashton Kutcher was not only at a country-music festival, but reports say he somehow managed to stay true to his douche-roots and get into a fistfight with a security gua ... More >>

Three Legislature Bills Would Loosen Texas' Extraordinarily Loose Pollution Guidelines (Yay?)

Texas law has always been a little loose -- and yes, in this phraseology "loose" is code for kind of slutty -- about environmental regulation, but now the state legislature has a few bills bouncing around during the 83rd legislative session that may make it looser than Lindsey Lohan after some booze ... More >>

Seven Depressing Things About Scary Movie V That Have Almost Nothing to Do with the Movie Itself

What's in a Name?

Five of the Least Important Reasons Not to Drive Drunk on New Year's Eve

We all know driving drunk is dumb. We all know doing it is dangerous and literally kills a lot of people every year. We also know it is completely avoidable. With New Year's Eve coming up, the drunkiest holiday of the year, it is time for us all to reacquaint ourselves with the concepts of a designa ... More >>

Mugshot Etiquette 101: Don't Smile Unless You Did Something Cool

Every day here at Hair Balls we get to see great, sad, and dumbfounding mugshots from around the state of Texas. We sure do have a lot of criminals in the Lone Star State. Makes me fearful of seceding in 2025. REWIND: Sean Payne: Humble Man Too Drunk To Pose for His Mugshot REWIND: Michael Jordan ... More >>

This Week in Deliciousness: Pet Food, Pets As Food, and More

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating...Our Words, where the kinds of things we're filling watermelons with would make your head spin. I mean, sure, everybody goes with vodka, but how many of you have tried an Absinthe & Everclear bomb? Not many of you, judging from the relatively normal ... More >>

Play It Again, Sam: 10 Artists & Comedians Signed To Casablanca Records

Casablanca Records was a record company started by Neil Bogart -- no relation to the late legendary actor Humphrey Bogart, although Neil was a big Bogie enthusiast and admirer. In the 1970s, Casablanca Records was the go-to label for disco much like Death Row was the go-to place for gangsta rap in t ... More >>

Christina Hendricks, Olivia Munn, Scarlett Johansson: 22 Famous Leaked Cell Phone Pics That Stopped All Office Productivity

This past Sunday, naughty cell phone pictures of both Mad Men's redheaded bombshell Christina Hendricks and television personality Olivia Munn leaked onto the Internet. No, they weren't together in the photos -- Dear God -- these were separate leaks. Two of the most lusted after female celebs, Hend ... More >>

Are SNL's Divisive Musical Guests Making It Relevant Again??

Even as sketch comedy tastes have changed, and a segment of the population has sadly written it off as an unfunny relic, NBC's Saturday Night Live is still pulling in cutting-edge, marquee musical guests each week, in the process creating national stars or pariahs. Or sometimes both. Case in point ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Totally Serious Career Advice for Lindsay Lohan

And starring as "Vampira"...​Hey, haven't heard much about Lindsay Lohan recently, maybe she's finally on the right...oh: Lindsay Lohan will be headed back to court -- yet again. During a hearing in Los Angeles Wednesday, Judge Stephanie Sautner ordered the actress' probation revoked, and ru ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Pocket Full Of Kryptonite

Lindsay Lohan's in my next movie? Just leave the bottle.​I'd done a decent job putting the fact they're rebooting the Superman franchise *again* next year out of my mind, that is until a flurry of recent Man of Steel-related news items popped up in the last week or so. "Wait," you're saying, ... More >>

Idol Beat: Say Goodbye To Hollywood

​You know, I had my misgivings about covering Season 10 of American Idol. I've already mentioned my concerns that, contrary to what David Hasselhof would have us believe, American doesn't necessarily have talent. At least, not enough to fill ten seasons worth of programming. I also feared the ... More >>

Somebody Make a Charlie Sheen/Lindsay Lohan Reality Show Already

It'll be just like this, only with more felony warrants and broken teeth​Believe it or not, writing about so-called "pop culture" has its difficulties. For starters, it's hard to deal with the effusive praise and overwhelming respect heaped upon you by your colleagues, none of whom view entert ... More >>

Safe at Home

PJ's Sports Bar is the coziest tavern in Montrose.

Top Ten Celebrities This Decade Who Crashed and Burned with Video Evidence

And a partridge in a pear tree...​Last week, we gave you our list of celebrities who manage to save their careers after difficult times. This week, we go a different direction. If we have learned anything from TMZ, it's that people love celebrity scandals and the more salacious it is, the more ... More >>

The Worst Music Trends Of 2010

​Editor's Pick: Shit. I spent my whole year either avoiding or ignoring trends. No reason to change now. Marc Brubaker: Many a person instructed me to place Ke(Dollar Sign)ha in this spot, but she's become so ubiquitous that I can't help but laugh when I hear her now. No, fine sirs, this awa ... More >>

The Year In Skank: 2010's Top 7 Skankiest Celebrities

​Plenty of famous women exude a healthy, feminine charm, a reserved beauty and refined grace that keeps them respectable even while they titillate. Plenty of celebrity men have a classy demeanor, yet just enough of a rakish-scoundrel glint in their eyes to turn them into the mysterious strange ... More >>

Lindsay Lohan & Demi Lovato: Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Pop Stars

You said it, Demi.​If you're a parent, one day you'll inevitably come to the sobering realization that your child's ultimate happiness is out of your hands. Naturally you're going to avoid feeding them Red Bull and Cheetos for lunch (that's a man's meal) or letting them juggle steak knives, bu ... More >>

Kombucha Comeback

​For those experiencing withdrawal over the last six months from the kombucha crisis of 2010, you can now rest easy in knowing that it's back. The fermented probiotic beverage was abruptly pulled from supermarket shelves across the country last June after Lindsay Lohan's SCRAM ankle bracelet, ... More >>

Top Five Teen-Idol Rehab Alumni

​Checking into rehab is no laughing matter. That said, we at Rocks Off often find inspiration in even the darkest of corners. So when it was announced, much to our surprise, that Dallas-born teen pop starlet Demi Lovato had checked into rehab an inpatient treatment center, we pondered celebri ... More >>

Aggies Go Big

Build largest college-football statue ever.

Chilean Miners: The Important News You Have Missed, Some Of Which Involves Lindsay Lohan

Also, Texas is suing for trademark infringement​Hey there, Chilean miners -- you are climbing from the depths into the world's heart (copyright pending). As you surface, you are busy signing book and movie deals, getting some off your wife, tasting real food and beer, hoping your colleagues keep u ... More >>

Top 5 WTF Music Award Acceptance Speeches

Dana DonovanLittle Joe Washington and a pair of enthusiastic fans at the 2007 HPMA ceremony​As we may have mentioned once or twice, tonight Rocks Off and the Houston Press reveal the winners of this year's 2010 Houston Press Music Awards over at Warehouse Live. It's a free show, with performan ... More >>

This Week in Deliciousness

Pictured: Lindsay Lohan's jail cell.​Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where your potato cannon is no match for our pumpkin bazooka. We started the week out by trying some delicious menudo, which is made from tripe. If you're wondering which part of the cow tripe com ... More >>

Lindsay Lohan: 10 Songs To Put Her In The Mood For Prison

​It was just six years ago that the world was in love with Lindsay Lohan, the grown-up child star of The Parent Trap and that year's Mean Girls. At the time, Craig's Hlist was dating a girl who forbade her visage at every turn - we were a Hilary Duff couple, and in her mind Lohan and Duff were ... More >>

Free Lindsay Lohan: Chances Hath Spoken!

Craig Hlavaty​You get it? Because Lindsay Lohan dated a girl and Chances is a bar where women kiss women on the mouth and hold hands?

Courtney Love Helps Christmas Come Early

Photos by Groovehouse/ Click here for a slideshow​Not that it ever happened to Rocks Off growing up, but can you imagine turning in your wish list to Santa Claus a few weeks before Christmas and getting everything you asked for? The new Playstation, Star Wars toys, the go-kart, new little brot ... More >>

Lindsay Lohan: Five Celebrity Courtroom Meltdowns Better Than Hers

​Turns out the Mean Girl wasn't so mean after all. Former child star and current cautionary tale Lindsay Lohan broke down in court after receiving a 90-day jail sentence for probation violation: "Are you serious?" she sobbed to her attorney as she furiously plucked Kleenex out of a tissue bo ... More >>

No Lady Gaga: Celebrities We Wish Had Sex Dolls Made Of Them

He's no Johnny Depp​Yesterday on the Rocks Off blog we unveiled the Lady Gaga sex doll, Lady Gag Gag. Comments were mixed on the doll, ranging from utter confusion and strange attraction from both sexes. One commenter claimed that the model on the box was even more attractive than the real G ... More >>

Take A Ride On Your Disco Stick: The Lady Gaga Sex Doll

Over the next year Houstonians will get three chances to see Lady Gaga in the flesh, with two shows next month at Toyota Center and another one in spring at the same venue. We are pretty sure all three have now sold out, so if any of you little monsters haven't got an in on some tickets you may ... More >>

What Do YOU Want To Do With Your Life??: Bad Dads In Music Videos

Sorry ladies, he's taken. By my mom.​This weekend is Father's Day, a holiday in which fathers all over the Hallmark Empire receive cards and gifts ranging from power drills and bourbon to celebrate them sticking it out for the duration of your ragged existence on earth. Craig's Hlist and hi ... More >>

Chamillionaire Addresses Foreclosure In Freestyle

Courtesy of OGPR TMZ fails to catch Chamillionaire ridin' dirty.​ Chamillionaire has recently been getting a lot of media attention from the likes of TMZ and Perez Hilton for the Houston rapper's so-called "business decision" to let his Houston-area house go into foreclosure - or, more accurately, ... More >>

Turning The Screw: New Hollywood F.L.O.S.S. Track, Mixtapes Galore, Kid Cudi, LeBron, Diddy, Weezy, Sade, Pink and More

Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off's weekly rap post. It probably won't rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Thanks, homies. ​ Single of the Week: "She Said...," Hollywood F.L.O.S.S. Wire To Wire Slim Thug released that Welcome 2 Texas mixtape. Do ... More >>

This Week In Deliciousness

Whataburger stickers, coming soon to a hipster near you.Welcome back to Eating Our Words' weekly round-up, the only place in town still selling Mrs. Lovett's Meat Pies out of the back of our station wagon. Speaking of suspicious meat, this week started off with a rather angry rebuking of inner-skirt ... More >>

Aftermath: Samantha Ronson at Rich's

She wasn't there. Yeah, I know why you clicked this headline. Lindsay Lohan was not at Rich's last night with her ladyfriend DJ, Samantha Ronson. Sorry, we had to get that out of the way. Last night at Rich's, all manner of celebrity-stalking, Perez-reading, catty-hating denizens were out in brute ... More >>

Samantha Ronson

Houston Now Has A "Dirty Dozen" Bank Robbers; Nickname Expected To Result In Arrests Soon

Bank robberies are sprouting up like bankruptcies all over the Houston area, and the FBI and Crime Stoppers has decided to do something about it -- break out the nicknames.The two organizations officially announced today a list of the "Dirty Dozen" bank robbers in the Houston area, including "The No ... More >>

Lindsay, Britney, Obama and Hello

Exclusive! Uncovered Vanity Fair Memo to Annie Leibovitz

Marilyn Manson's celebrity dating club

Mechanical Animals

Pharoahe Monch

A hip-hopper takes on politics, culture and a pack of brats

Miss Pop Rocks: Things That Will Last Longer Than Pam Anderson’s Marriage to Rick Salomon

Keeping Dry Down Below with the Tunnel Mole

Pase Rock

Pase Rock performs at Rockbox, 10 p.m. Thursday, July 26, at Proletariat, 903 Richmond, 713-523-1199.

Georgia Rule

La Lohan elevates -- but can't save -- Georgia Rule

Lindsay Lohan

A Little More Personal (Raw)

Car Trouble

Herbie the Love Bug is back, and he bites

Excess Hollywood

In the season of sequels and Happy Meal toys, '05 may be a pleasant surprise.

Playbill