Lufkin

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Openings & Closings: Taco USA Takes The Woodlands

There were lots of good scoops this week from around the city, so let's get straight to the action. Eater Houston editor Eric Sandler reports that pastry chef Roy Shvartzapel -- who's worked in kitchens from El Bulli to Bouchon -- plans to open an "avant garde and modern approach to the cafe experi ... More >>

Donnie Glenn Raymond, Jr.: Busted for eBay Sale Gone Wrong

There was trouble afoot in Van Alstyne, Texas, a tiny community northeast of Dallas I didn't even know existed until I read a report about how a man there got shafted when he tried to buy a motorcycle from an East Texas man. Donnie Glenn Raymond, Jr. of Lufkin (where else?) was arrested for state-j ... More >>

Kester Havard is Mad As Hell: Armed, Demands of Sheriff's Office "Do Your Fucking Job"

Sometimes, you just can't take it anymore. Whether you are the guy in Network or Michael Douglas' character in Falling Down, there's a point where every man reaches his breaking point. It's at that time that he must take matters into his own hands, even if that includes taking a loaded gun, a video ... More >>

The 30 Essential Texas Restaurants: The List Is Live

Sorry about that teaser earlier this week. No fooling around this time, though: Our list is live. Go check out this week's feature -- "Eat Here: 30 Essential Texas Restaurants to Visit Before You Die" -- before reading on. We don't want to spoil any surprises for you. *** Read it yet? Are you sure ... More >>

William "Billy" Michael Martin: Steals Panties, Masturbates in a Hospital, Dresses Like a Pregnant Woman and Has a Thing for Blond Chicks

According to a report from KTRE 9, the ABC affiliate in Lufkin, police apprehended William "Billy" Michael Martin, 45, and charged him with three counts of burglary after he went into the East Texas Medical Center, stole master keys and stole photos from various offices as masturbatory aids. Oh, but ... More >>

Halloween Party Plans Send Sister to Jail for Allegedly Slashing Sister

A 17-year-old Lufkin woman was jailed Friday night after a fracas erupted when her father forbade her from attending a Halloween party, police said. According to KTRE, Hernandez responded to dad's attempt at disciplining her by going to the kitchen and retrieving a knife.

The Williamson Boys: Pocket-Dial Allows 911 To Get A Play-By-Play Of Their Copper Theft

Modern technology giveth and it taketh away. It definitely hampered the best-laid plans of Kevin and Charles Williamson, two guys with lengthy criminal records who were planning on hitting a Lufkin construction site for some copper. The trouble was, according to the Lufkin News, was that one of th ... More >>

Alfonzo Dewayne Anthony: Second Exemplar of East Texas Tattoo Artistry to Hit Jails This Week

The fine art of East Texas tattoo artistry is rockin' it this week. Earlier, we brought you the story of Jonathan Thompson, the Trinity man in the Trinity jail with the tat suggesting that Trinity County constable Woody Wallace should suck his dick. And now, let's meet Lufkin's Alfonzo Anthony, a.k ... More >>

For Mother's Day: Five Very, Very Bad Candidates for Mom of the Year

For at least some part of our lives, all of us have had a mother. Some are great, some are terrible, but most are in-between. But even if your mother was closer to Courtney Love than to Clair Huxtable, you should count yourself lucky you are not the offspring of any of the women in this round-up of ... More >>

True Believers and Other Local Releases

Kelly Wilson: East Texas Jailer / Author Charged with Inmate Sex

Angelina County jailer and author Kelly Wilson has resigned her position and faces criminal charges after authorities in Lufkin alleged that she had a sexual relationship with an inmate. According to the Lufkin Daily News, the Angelina County Sheriff's Office got a tip that there was some illicit h ... More >>

Heather Ricks Terry and Mary Dorsey, Alleged Thieving Dental Workers: Thar's Gold in Them Thar Grills

A pair of Lufkin dental office workers have been arrested and charged with stealing gold meant for grills and fillings from their place of work. Authorities there say that Heather Ricks Terry, 30, and Mary Dorsey, 42, swiped about $5,000 of the precious metals from the Palmer and Ross Dental Group ... More >>

Your "BMW In An East Texas Sinkhole" Photo Of The Day

This weekend's storms caused a little bit of road flooding around here, with the usual spots going underwater for a while. In East Texas, things got a little hairier. In Central, which is in Lufkin's Angelina County, a couple driving on FM 2021 near Highway 59 "felt the road about to give," KLTV re ... More >>

Daniel Huerta: Lufkin's Illegal Wee Hours Door-to-Door Poultry Peddler

"Intoxicated male selling chickens door-to-door" is not the most common after-midnight call for police to field, even in a wild-and-woolly town like Lufkin, but according to KTRE, police there had just such a case over the weekend. Sgt. Scott Cagnon told the station that his officers found 33-year- ... More >>

PasDoctor Geronimo: Planned Courthouse Lawn Tepee/Tent-Residence Birthday Orgy Halted by Lufkin Cops

Sadly, PasDoctor Geronimo's hoped-for 12-plus woman birthday orgy in a custom-built "tepee/tent-residence" on the Angelina County Courthouse lawn -- starring Cameron Diaz -- did not take place yesterday. Jessica Cooley of the Lufkin Daily News was there for the dramatic confrontation. She reported ... More >>

The PasDoctor Geronimo Manifesto: A Presidential Run and a Birthday "Tepee/Tent-Residence" Orgy, Starring Cameron Diaz

Jessica Cooley / Lufkin Daily NewsPasDoctor Geronimo has quite the bash planned tonight.​Hair Balls' old friend PasDoctor Geronimo is back at it this week. This time around he's not in trouble with the law. Instead, the Lufkin man, whose "white man's name" is Douglas Paul McCoy, has filed a ... More >>

Douglas Paul McCoy / Pas Doctor Geronimo: Lufkin Indian Outlaw and K-2 Fan Debuts New Name in Court

Jessica Cooley / Lufkin Daily NewsPas Doctor Geronimo makes his courtroom debut under his new name while rocking his Walkman to Tim McGraw's "Indian Outlaw."​ Lufkin's Douglas Paul McCoy seems hell-bent on setting the record for most appearances in Hair Balls crime stories. Late last week, he ... More >>

The 2011 Houston Press Crimes of the Year

From a fake vampire to a getaway guy in a wheelchair, a defendant peeing in court to a cop-car backseat blow job, it's been a wild year.

The 2011 Houston Press Crimes of the Year

From a fake vampire to a getaway guy in a wheelchair, a defendant peeing in court to a cop-car backseat blow job, it's been a wild year.

Cover Story: The Year in Crime

​We like to think we are pretty hard to surprise. As the son of hard-living hippies who were close friends of people like Steve Earle and Townes Van Zandt, I'd seen more by the time I was 12 than many of my peers have experienced up to this day. Since then, I've traveled the world and worked i ... More >>

Texas Tweakers

James "Bull" Durham burned down his mother's house while cooking meth. In Angelina County, the jail is full of guys like him..

Ray's Drive-In in Lufkin: Surpassing Expectations

Head north on Highway 59 to meet this monster burger.​On the way out to deep East Texas last week for a story, I found myself suddenly starving and in unfamiliar territory: Lufkin. Unwilling to sacrifice myself upon the fast-food altar when I know that there's great small-town food to be had ... More >>

PR Headline of the Day

Parker Afraid of Dick

Eric Paul Morgan: Veteran Houston Robber / Thief Comes to Grief in Navasota

After a short multi-county crime spree, including an armed home invasion in Lufkin and a bank robbery in Navasota, Eric Paul Morgan sits in the Grimes County Jail. He's already been charged with bank robbery, and Lufkin police are in the process of getting a warrant for the home invasion. That was ... More >>

Comment of the Day: James Edwin Durham

We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>

James Edwin Durham: One-Man Lufkin Crime Wave Finally Brought Down -- Featuring Musical Mugshot Slideshow

Check the musical slideshow of Durham's mugshots after the jump. It's been a rough year for James Edwin Durham. Since last November, the 39-year-old Lufkin man has allegedly burned his mother's house down while cooking meth, gotten shot in the ass, been charged with numerous felonies in several d ... More >>

Matthew Wayne Fuller: Police Say He Forced Six Year Old Girl to Watch Sex Tape

Angelina County Sheriff's DepartmentMatthew Wayne Fuller​If, as has been suggested, Lufkin is the weird-crime "Florida of Texas," then the Lufkin-adjacent hamlets of Etoile, Huntington and last but not least, Zavalla are the "Floridas of Lufkin." Guys like 31-year-old Matthew Wayne Fuller see ... More >>

James Robert Monday's Manic Monday: East Texan Busted For Hauling Off Air-Water Machine from Store Parking Lot

James Robert Monday: Manic indeed​In the latest of our series of "Only in East Texas" crimes, an AARP-aged man by the name of Monday was busted on the day of the same name for -- get this -- stealing a convenience store's coin-operated air and water dispenser. Not the quarters in it, mind yo ... More >>

Feds Bring Down Hammer on Lufkin Meth Trade

In two distinct actions, federal authorities have indicted 17 East Texans on over 200 counts of crimes related to the crystal methamphetamine trade in and around Lufkin. You just might be hearing this song all over town this week: In the first action, the Lufkin Daily News has reported that a fed ... More >>

David Allen Smith: Busted for Kiddy Porn after Wife Turns Geek Squad Loose on Computer

He doesn't look like he'd have kiddie porn at ALL.​Marriage and a weakness for child porn. It's a combo that doesn't mix. The latest area man to find that out the hard way is 67-year-old David Allen Smith of Lufkin. Police there say Smith's vile stash came to light after his wife took thei ... More >>

The Lufkin Daily News Police Blotter: Ten Highlights from the Last Year

Lots of news gems come from the Lufkin paper.​We get a lot of stories here at Hair Balls from the Lufkin Daily News. Unlike so many of its fellow small-town East Texas newspapers, the editors and reporters have both a keen eye for mayhem and a dark, mordant sense of humor about it. That last ... More >>

Brian Ruston Linscomb: Calls Cops On Own Motel Party, Despite Being Wanted On Boatload of Warrants

Orange County SOBrian Linscomb: Pay no attention to the huge number of warrants, officer.​For a while there, it seemed like Brian Linscomb's Sunday evening Lufkin motel party was going off swimmingly. At least one woman and several unidentified men crammed into Linscomb's lodgings at the Angel ... More >>

Twitter Dumbness: Trent Cantrell, Former Lufkin City Planner, Resigns After Sour Tweets About Town

Even if you really, really hate the town whose government is signing your paychecks, you might want to keep those thoughts to yourself. If you absolutely must Tweet your opinions on the matter, only let your friends see 'em. Former Lufkin city planner Trent Cantrell didn't take those precautions, an ... More >>

Earline Garcia: Attempted Petty Orajel Theft Leads to Felony After Employee Narrowly Escapes Getting Run Over

You stay classy, Earline.​Come on, people. Do we really need to give you a refresher course on how to shoplift? Apparently so. 1. If you really have to steal stuff, keep the value of the items you swipe under $50. That way, if you get caught, it will only be a Class C Misdemeanor, and you wil ... More >>

Joseph Michael Weeks: Teen "Male Whore Dog" in Trouble Again, for Doing What Male Whore Dogs Do

Joseph Michael Weeks: Lufkin's been warned​Back in July, hours before he allegedly sexually assaulted a 13-year-old girl who was messed up on cough syrup, a Lufkin mother called Joseph Michael Weeks a "male whore dog." And now, while out on bond for that case, the 19-year-old has racked up two ... More >>

Ricardo Coulston: Blowjob In Kiddie Flick Lands Lufkin Teen In Jail

Ricardo Coulston REALLY enjoyed Mastermind, until the cops showed up​When you think of movies that could inspire people to commit acts of public lewdness, Megamind, the new Will Ferrell-, Brad Pitt- and Tina Fey-voiced animated children's superhero flick doesn't immediately spring to mind. Bu ... More >>

Manuel Lopez-Mendoza: Guilty In Brazen Attempted Heist Of Giant Pink Bunny

A giant pink rabbit in a pick-up truck. In Lufkin, of course​Thieves around the world are often noted for their sleight of hand, their ability to conceal what is not theirs and spirit it away to a place of safe-keeping undetected. Some are true masters of the art. Fifty-year-old Manuel Lopez- ... More >>

Montgomery County Cops Take Down Motel Meth Lab In New Caney

She's 34...THIRTY-FOUR!​Acting on a tip, Montgomery County Constables took down a "shake and bake" meth lab in a New Caney motel in the wee hours of Saturday morning. Arrested were 34-year-old Kerry Lee Datray, of Cleveland, and 38-year-old Wayne Paul Walters of Lufkin. Each was charged manu ... More >>

Meth Fires Galore In Lufkin

Photos courtesy Angleina County SOGilbert Sayers: Would you rent a room to this guy?​Man, Lufkin's got the crystal methamphetamine blues bad. Just as one high-profile meth lab fire case comes to a close, another one opens... We begin with the adventures of Gilbert Sanders and Charles Euper... ... More >>

Edwin Jabroskey Simpson: Four Loko-Knockoff Theft Could Equal Decades In Prison

Photo courtesy Angelina County SOEdwin Simpson: ​Edwin Jabroskey Simpson of Lufkin was thirsty, and in his view, overly sober. And nothing -- not abject poverty nor an angry cop -- was gonna stop the hulking 22-year-old from getting hold of an ice-cold 24-ounce can of Tilt Premium Malt Beverag ... More >>

Rayond Wilson II: Three Life Sentences For East Texas Trailer Park Bloodbath

Photo courtesy Angelina County JailRaymond Wilson II ​Back in December, Hair Balls brought you the story of an East Texas trailer park murder spree that left two women and one man dead. Late last week the accused in the case -- 46-year-old Raymond Wilson II -- took a plea deal granting him three ... More >>

Ricky Penson: Please Enter Your Guilty Flea

Photo courtesy Angelina County SORicky Penson needs better escape routes​Just like many a mother has warned, if you lie down with dogs, you'll get up with fleas. A Lufkin man recently learned that lesson, and what's more, he's sharing it with the police force of that honky-tonking little East Texa ... More >>

Lufkin Love Quadrangle Ends In Tragedy: Three Dead, One In Custody After Trailer Park Bloodbath

Photo courtesy Angelina County Jail​Mixing jealousy and alcohol is a bad idea. So is confessing a recent threesome with your roommates to your gun-toting, volatile ex. Those are but two of the lessons you could draw from a weekend triple homicide in a trailer park on the pinewood fringes of rough ... More >>

A $2 Million Car, A Pelican And A Lagoon

A Bugatti Veyron, sans pelican​Here is a sentence with so many strange and wonderful parts in it that it's best just to let it speak for itself:A Lufkin man drove his $2 million Bugatti sportscar into a Galveston-area lagoon after being distracted by a pelican.First, who spends $2 million on a car ... More >>

Ever Been Fingerprinted? Well, You Might Just Be... I Dunno, Oh, SATAN!

​Pam McLaurin is a teacher in Big Sandy ISD in Polk County in deep East Texas. The Texas Education Association has asked her to submit to a background check. McLaurin, who has taught for 20 years, has complied with every part of the check save for the mandatory fingerprinting, which she opposes on ... More >>

We Read The Small-Town Police Blotters, So You Don’t Have To

Reeling

Bass kills and lesions on fish worry Sam Rayburn anglers. So does the state's plan to lower the lake's pollution standards.

On the Blues Highway

Trudy Lynn recalls her journey to musical acclaim