Matt Schaub

And Now, a Word or Three on the Texans

It's Time for Mario Williams to Shine. Or Else.

Mean Joe Greene Meets Avril Lavigne: Texans-Cowboys from the Press Box

Madonna Shines Ray of Light on Texans

Progress Report: Jason Friedman Ponders Kim Kardashian's Butt. Oh, and the Houston Texans too.

Dear Diary: Somebody Save the Houston Texans from Themselves

Slideshow: The Houston Texans at Training Camp

Slideshow: The Houston Texans at Training Camp

NFL Review, Week Three: Bad Challenges, Tricky Snaps and Playboy Bunnies

Matt Schaub Injured and Out for At Least Four Games

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: This One Was All Kubiak

Texans Looking to Trade Sage Rosenfels to Minnesota

Photo by Mark C. AustinSage Rosenfels had that awful end in the game against the Indianapolis Colts. And Rosenfels wanted to be traded before last season. None of that should matter. Not when Matt Schaub, the Texans so-called number one quarterback, makes Tracy McGrady look like the Cal Ripken ... More >>

Can the Houston Texans Get Garcia In This Rosenfels Trade? Jeff Can Come, Too

Photo by gr750 NFL free agency starts today. And since the Houston Texans are trading Sage Rosenfels to the Minnesota Vikings, they find themselves in desperate need of a backup quarterback. And with Matt Schaub as the number one QB, the Texans are going to desperately need a proven backup for tho ... More >>

Can the Houston Texans Get Garcia In This Rosenfels Trade? Jeff Can Come, Too

Photo by gr750 NFL free agency starts today. And since the Houston Texans are trading Sage Rosenfels to the Minnesota Vikings, they find themselves in desperate need of a backup quarterback. And with Matt Schaub as the number one QB, the Texans are going to desperately need a proven backup for tho ... More >>

Hope for the Houston Texans?

Gary Kubiak and team search for their first winning season

Houston Texans Pancakes & Pigskins Rookie Breakfast

Football fans enjoy a little elbow-rubbing with the team’s newest players

Rex Grossman: Can He Become One Of the Top Five Texans QBs Ever?

The Houston Texans have signed former Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman. Do a Google-news search for the move and one of the first things that comes up is this, from a fan blog: Now on to the butt of many Chicago jokes...Rex Grossman. June 12th 2009 is a day that should go down in Chicago hist ... More >>

Never Depend On A QB Named "The Sex Cannon"

I stumbled over to the Texans website the other day, and after looking through things for a bit, I guess that I should buy my Super Bowl tickets because, if you listen to Texans employee Marc Vandermeer, this is an outstanding team at every position on the field. I especially like how he calls the s ... More >>

Some (Few) Good Things Emerge From Texans' Monday-Night Loss

​It's never truly Texans season until there's the first Matt Schaub injury scare. This year, it came before the season even started -- when the Texans' QB ran out of bounds and turned his left ankle in Monday night's 17-10 preseason loss to the Vikings.But Schaub recovered, and so did the Texans, ... More >>

15 Things To Watch For This Texans Season, And A Prediction

​I can't put it off any longer. The Texans season starts on Sunday. So I guess I better get my act together and get my thoughts about the upcoming season on the record before kickoff. So here goes.1. Some good news: The offense returns many of the key players that made the offense the third best i ... More >>

Game Time: Kick In The Junk...Wide Left

​I woke up Sunday morning thinking that things had to get better. After a week that started off with a right cross from Kobe, a left hook from the Yankees, and a sucker punch in the junk from Notre Dame, I thought surely these events were just karmic balance for what was going to be the biggest w ... More >>

Titans 20, Texans 17: It's The Trenches, Stupid

​It would be easy to blame Kris Brown.It would be easy to chalk it up to an inspired homecoming performance by Vince Young. It would be easy to criticize several iffy playcalls by offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan and coach Gary Kubiak, including a decision to effectively kneel down before the f ... More >>

Game Time: Come! Watch The Amazing Vince Young Water Down Matt Schaub's Pro Bowl Bid!

​For better or worse, the Texans are still at a stage in their history where they are experiencing some "exciting but for most teams not really extraordinary" things for the first time. This will happen when the first four years of your eight-year existence were spent being constructed by Char ... More >>

Game Time: Matt Schaub Gets The Coolest Participation Ribbon Ever

​Let me preface the next several hundred words with this -- I am a Matt Schaub fan. I think the guy had a phenomenal 2009 season and deserved to be at the Pro Bowl this weekend long before Tom Brady and Phillip Rivers pulled out of the game with injuries to their respective bodily parts (and, like ... More >>

Game Time: NFL 2010 -- A Journey In Wagering

Betting is fun! If you don't mind losing​The first week of the NFL season is always one of the busiest for me. I've never been an accountant, nor will I ever be an accountant, but I would imagine that the first week of college and NFL football together is how the week of April 15 feels for someon ... More >>

Texans 34, Colts 24: Foster Dashes To Stardom, But Give Kubiak His Due

Photo by Aaron M. SprecherMario Williams was a stud against the Colts​See photos from the season-opening game in our slideshow. For a brief time, the script looked all too familiar on Sunday at Reliant Stadium. The Texans raced out to a big first-half lead over the Colts, only to watch Peyton Man ... More >>

Duane Brown -- I'm The One Guy Saying Something Nice About You

Duane Brown: We're not jumping on the blame train​"I vow to learn from this mistake and be a better player and teammate because of it." -- Duane Brown In May, when the news came down that Brian Cushing had been suspended for violating the league's substance-abuse policy, the reaction among many ... More >>

Texans 35, Chiefs 31: Johnson Returns To Form, And So Does The Offense. But...

Winning a squeaker​With Andre Johnson's ankle seemingly healthy again, the Texans' offense on Sunday silenced concerns about its ability to remain among the NFL's elite.That might mean something if head coach Gary Kubiak and defensive coordinator Frank Bush can find a way for their defense to not ... More >>

Colts 30, Texans 17: Indianapolis Still Has No Answer for Arian Foster. Enter Gary Kubiak

Photo by Aaron M. SprecherGary Kubiak knows how to keep Arian Foste from beating the Colts​In week one, the Texans (4-3) annihilated the Colts because Indianapolis couldn't stop running back Arian Foster, who rushed for 231 yards and three touchdowns. In week eight, the Colts (5-2) still couldn't ... More >>

Texans-Colts: You Come At The King, You Best Not Miss

The Texans failed to heed sage advice​"You come at the king, you best not miss." -- Omar Little, The Wire That line works. Whether you're trying to riddle the most feared gangster in the drug neighborhood with bullets or whether you're attempting to sweep the season series from the best quarter ... More >>

Eagles 34, Texans 24: Defense Routinely Awful, But Schaub Also Misses Opportunities

Matt Schaub: Questions continue to increase​The questions have long been answered as to whether Gary Kubiak is a championship-level coach and if the Texans defense is even at an NCAA-championship level. (No.) After Thursday night, however, another question may need to be asked. Is Matt Schaub ... More >>

Ravens 34, Texans 28: It's Not Remarkable, And It's Not A Near Miss

Gary Kubiak: Change that "H" to an "N"​If the Texans franchise has any hope for the near future, owner Bob McNair had better not frame Monday's stunning overtime loss to Baltimore as more evidence that the team is "close". That was the rationale in 2009, when the Texans finished 9-7, but were ... More >>

Texans 20, Jets 16: Defense Shines, But Backup QB Troubles Remain

Photos by Marco TorresMatt Schaub didn't play much.​In the big picture, the narrative from Monday's preseason opener at Reliant Stadium was a promising one for Gary Kubiak's Texans. First and foremost, there were no major injuries. Secondly, the retooled unit of renowned defensive coordinato ... More >>

Texans 34, Colts 7: In Role Reversal, Defense Picks Up Offense

Photo by Marco TorresMatt Schaub encountered the odd concept of relying on his defense.​It took just 12 game minutes for Wade Phillips and his new-look defense to show why this year's Texans could be different from their once-promising predecessors. Matt Schaub wasn't himself early on, air-ma ... More >>

Saints 40, Texans 33: Five Plays That Got Away

The Texans found out Sunday.​The latest chapter in the long-running series of Texan near misses might have been the most painful. Sure, there were plenty of positives. The Texans (2-1) proved they were capable of hanging with the NFL's elite on the road. They weren't outclassed. Looking for ... More >>

Raiders 25, Texans 20: One Step Forward, One Step Back

Photo by Marco Torres​When one step forward is immediately followed by one step back, perpetual mediocrity is the usual result. It has defined the Gary Kubiak era of Houston Texans football, and it reared its ugly head again on Sunday. Yes, the Texans (3-2) were missing Andre Johnson and Mar ... More >>

Houston Texans Game 5 -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers (This Doesn't Go Well For Jacoby Jones)

Photo by Marco TorresThus endeth the lesson​Be sure to check out the rest of our pics from Sunday's game. As we were driving slowly down Murworth to park in the Teal Lot before the Texans game on Sunday, my girlfriend Amy and I noticed a father with two boys (presumably his sons) around the a ... More >>

Texans 41, Titans 7: Suddenly, Everything Is Back On Track

Photo by Marco TorresMatt Schaub stays hot​In a game worthy of the oft-overused and dramatic "biggest in franchise history" distinction, the Texans finally delivered. Reeling from consecutive defeats and still missing Andre Johnson, questions swirled all week as to whether these Texans could ... More >>

Texans 24, Jaguars 14: It Wasn't Pretty. Thankfully, It Doesn't Have To Be Anymore

Photo by Marco TorresMark Schaub, the new Cam Newton​To know the Houston Texans is to know drama, at least from a historical standpoint. Offensive explosions -- both from the Texans and their opponents -- fueled both spectacular wins and crushing collapses in 2009 and 2010. In the end, the ups ... More >>

Texans/Jaguars -- 4 Winners, 4 Losers

Photo by Marco TorresTexans battlefought their way to a win in Battle Red​"I still don't like them, and I have no respect for them at all. It was just the dirty stuff they were doing. I don't want to get into specifics; I just don't like them. . . . I'm not going to get into names or anything ... More >>

Texans 37, Buccaneers 9: Five Things We Learned

Photo by Marco TorresIn the immortal words of Ian Dury: Reasons to be cheerful, part three​Were it not for the heartbreak of the past 10 years, week after week of uncompetitive football might get boring. As it is, the Texans and their legion of fans will take the wins however they come. The T ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Matt Schaub's Injury Is One Fan's Fault

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Matt Schaub Is Done, So Gary Kubiak Can Show His "One Thing"

A Matt Schaub blast from the past​In the movie The Breakfast Club, there's a scene where the five main characters are sitting around the library and the topic of conversation lands on "What's the one thing you can do well?" As it turned out the Geek was pretty good at making spaghetti, the Ba ... More >>

Albert Haynesworth Is Proud Of Hurting Matt Schaub

"You know me. I love to hit Schaub." -- Tampa Bay defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth We've talked so much about the effect that Matt Schaub's injury could have on the remainder of the Texans' 2011 season (and rightfully so), we haven't even really talked about how it happened. And until Albert H ... More >>

The Texans: Seven Motivational Posters for the Rest of the Season

We all know things have changed a bit for the Houston Texans from those halcyon days just a couple of weeks ago when they were pushing for the Number One seed in the AFC. Matt Schaub had a season-ending injury. Backup QB Matt Leinart had a career-ending injury. But all is not lost in TexansWorld. ... More >>

Texans 20, Bengals 19: Historic Season Doesn't Have To Stop With Division Title

Photo by Marco TorresSign of the times​The popular opinion of the 2011 Houston Texans has been that while they were an inspiring story, injuries would prevent them from being a true Super Bowl contender. After Sunday, consider the latest in a long line of Texan myths officially debunked. Whe ... More >>

2011-12 Houston Press Texans Game Card

Photo by Marco TorresSign of the times​The popular opinion of the 2011 Houston Texans has been that while they were an inspiring story, injuries would prevent them from being a true Super Bowl contender. After Sunday, consider the latest in a long line of Texan myths officially debunked. Whe ... More >>

Texans, Tebow and BCS Titles! This Weekend's 4 Winners and 4 Losers

JJ Watt, scoring machine​All right, this is starting to get ridiculous, football gods. First, you knock out Arian Foster for the first three games of the season with a hamstring injury. Then you rob us of Andre Johnson not once, but twice with injuries to each hamstring, forcing him to miss m ... More >>

Matt Schaub Is Now on Twitter, Tweeting About Foot Massages

He's probably better at it than T.J. Yates.​THANK GOD the Internet was invented, or the computer, or whatever it is that gave us Twitter. Texans quarterback Matt Schaub has started tweeting, and not a moment too soon. "First Tweet...lets see how this goes," he wrote yesterday, and since then ... More >>