Michael Bay injects potent absurdity into the unbelievable true story of Pain & Gain.
Most surveillance videos offer long stretches of not a lot happening, interspersed with a brief burst of criminal activity. But this latest offering from Crime Stoppers and HPD, my God -- suspense, international intrigue, a frantic chase and sprint for freedom -- it's the summer blockbuster of the ... More >>
A short history of an art form's long passing.
A lament for lost carnage - and coherence.
On of the few CDs I still listen to in this amazing digital age is Saturday Morning: Cartoon's Greatest Hits. The album, which is still not available on iTunes, was a tribute to all the best cartoon theme songs of the '60s and '70s. Things like Scooby Doo and Sigmund and the Sea Monster, but with ba ... More >>
Photo by Matthew KeeverThe Doom That Came To Dubstep?Subgenre: Brostep Parent Genre: Dubstep Imagine that you're a genre of music. You've been on the underground for a few years taking the sounds of your parents and evolving in to something new. For a long time few noticed but the last fe ... More >>
The Material Girl. The King of Pop (and his sister). The Chili Peppers. Mr. West. Very few artists have become the musical equivalent of the two-sport athlete: Making memorable music and monumental videos. When those people had a new video to premiere, it wasn't a just a video, it was an event. I ... More >>
Insert as needed.Some controversy, if you want to call it that, popped up this weekend over Michael Bay's apparent use of old footage from The Island in his latest release, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, which grossed a staggering $400 million over the July 4th weekend. We can infer two ... More >>
I have nothing against robots, per se. Some of the greatest antagonists in sci-fi have been fearsome automatons like those found in Fred Saberhagen's Berserker series, or the Terminator, or the...Battle Android Troopers (B.A.T.s) from G.I. Joe. I guess. And although robot offerings in recent ... More >>
Photos by GroovehouseBon Jovi Toyota Center May 17, 2011 Keep the faith with Bon Jovi and their hordes of Houston fans in our slideshow. It's no easy feat to emerge relatively unscathed from the ruins of the '80s metal boom. Bon Jovi's more glam-oriented contemporaries can no longer hope to ... More >>
We're not exactly subtle in Texas.There are quite a number of catchphrases that can be attributed to the Lone Star state. Among them, "Houston, we have a problem," "Don't mess with Texas" and "Who shot J.R.?" evoke a range of responses. Certainly, our colloquialisms are as unique as the state ... More >>
Sean Combs Sean "Puffy" Combs Puffy Puff Daddy P. Diddy Diddy is coming to Warehouse Live on May 12 on his "Diddy Dirty Money Tour," behind his newest album, Last Train To Paris. The prolific businessman, producer, and rapper is embarking on one of his very, very scarce tours. We aren't too ... More >>
A poor *black* kid? They'll never buy it.That rumbling you heard yesterday was the muted "harrumph"-ing of thousands of American film journalists after news of the Will Smith/Jay-Z Annie reboot was confirmed: Overbrook Entertainment has formally announced a partnership with Jay-Z for future ... More >>
Oh, don't act surprised.2011 is barely out of the oven and I'm already filled with dread. Could it be the fact I've spent the entire year so far coughing up chunks of green lung tissue? That I've finally despaired of ever finding a writing gig that doesn't involve "Lady Gaga sex tape" Google ... More >>
Please god, no...For those who've been pining for the return of the "Blue Steel" and the "Magnum," your patience is about to be rewarded: Ben Stiller is dead in the middle of promoting "Little Fockers," out Dec. 22, but he's already got his eye on yet another sequel: "Zoolander 2." Stiller ... More >>
In what was undoubtedly momentous news to the hundreds of music fans out there who haven't already a) copied their CDs of Rubber Soul and Revolver onto their hard drives, or b) illegally downloaded their entire collection, Apple made the entire Beatles catalog available on iTunes yesterday. ... More >>
The little guy saves small-town USA (and its corporate overlords) in Unstoppable.
Honestly, do you really care?I write a lot about Hollywood's obsession with remakes because I'm a movie buff, first and foremost, and because as a "writer" it's easy to milk an announcement of the latest atrocity from Platinum Dunes for 750 indignant words regarding the creative demise of Hollywo ... More >>
No, these aren't Offspring cover bands, which would be gross, since Offspring sucks pretty badly on their own. They aren't as cool as we thought they were in 1994. No, let's talk about what happens when famous folks let their children loose to be rock stars. Some fall while others find fame i ... More >>
Will Ferrell and Adam McKay re-team, with decreasing returns.
Memorial Day weekend officially marks the beginning of summer, and the beginning of summer blockbuster-movie season.Recently studios have been pushing the blockbuster season earlier and earlier -- Iron Man 2 has been out for months, it seems -- but Memorial Day Weekend is still a date where they pla ... More >>
Most of my life has been spent seeking out a unifying theory of suckitude in the entertainment universe, "entertainment" in this sense meaning movies, music, and television. Originally, I'd hoped to find someone whose utter horribleness spanned the entire artistic firmament (including literat ... More >>
When it comes to movie remakes, I always think of Die Hard. Specifically, this Alan Rickman line: Sooner or later, I might get to someone you do care about! Granted, he was trying to force McClane to tell him where his detonators were, but the same sentiment applies to "reimagining" our fav ... More >>
On top of everything else this week, sadly the news has come out that our beloved Beyonce is taking a break from music. Just when we need her the most, right? We miss B and Ms. Fierce already, and we're already speculating what she might get up to while taking her sabbatical away from the public ... More >>
I know I'm not the only person who feels like high-fiving everyone at the end of the holiday season, heady with the triumph of having survived another two weeks of forced jocularity, awkward family moments, bad TV, and worse music. The new year, with it's promise of fresh opportunities to screw up a ... More >>
Neither horrific nor disasterrrific, Cormac McCarthy adap takes the path of least resistance.
Today's story on a pelican causing a $2 million sports car to wind up in a lagoon is, of course, distressing. And not just if you're the owner of that $2 million car.Birds -- you gotta watch out for them. You just never know when they're going to strike.The lagoon incident can now proudly take its p ... More >>
Last week saw the commemoration of a dark milestone in our country's history. Millions of Americans used this anniversary as an opportunity to reflect on the misery and hardship many are still enduring as a result. In writing this, I hope not only to correct certain revisionist interpretations o ... More >>
[Note: Thursday night T-Pain, Wale and DJ MOS performed a private concert at downtown nightclub Venue. Our man Shea Serrano was on the red carpet and inside.] Photos by Larami Culbertson"Is it true what they say about the size of a man's chain?" 9:17 p.m.: Yo, the PR camp from Heineken, that comp ... More >>
Photos by Mark C. Austin Make all the Guitar Hero jokes you want. Whatever it is that's kept ZZ Top and Aerosmith in the public eye for almost four decades - video games or beards-n-babes videos, Back to the Future cameos or Michael Bay ballads, bee-stung lips or cheap sunglasses - they've never for ... More >>
This weekend, as we come together to celebrate Independence Day, let's do our best to remember what this holiday is all about. It's more than merely dodging DWI checkpoints on your way home from backyard barbecues and trying to decide between the Jon & Kate 8 or Deadliest Catch marathons on TV ... More >>
How 'bout this heat? Spring has officially finished her fleeting annual jaunt through SE Texas and abandoned us to Summer, which is set to squat uncomfortably upon us for the next five months like that hippo ballerina in Fantasia.Not that you were caught unawares, of course. After all, humidity is a ... More >>
Bail Out This Movie
Various news outlets reported Wednesday that the Katy Independent School District received 10 reports of counterfeit bills passed in school cafeterias in the past couple of months. These include several high schools and an elementary school.Steve Stanford, district spokesperson for KISD, tells Hair ... More >>
Julian Schnabel sees only treacle in the story that inspired his Diving Bell
A few more changes would've helped Transformers.
Brit brat takes the B horror movie where it deserves to go
Michael Bay's up to his old tricks -- now older than ever
Team America takes no prisoners and spares no swear words
The Alamo gets what it always needed: a happy ending
Pearl Harbor's sound and fury signify nothing
Filmmaker lets the audience judge who's good and bad in the compellingly vague Way of the Gun
Oliver Stone delivers the ultimate guy movie with Any Given Sunday
Feeling is forgotten in hard-sell Armageddon
Bruckheimer's production shows all his Con-temptible traits
The Rock tests the hypothesis that moviegoers like 'em fast, splashy and loud
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