Subject:

Michael Brown

  • Blogs

    May 16, 2012

    Jeff Bagwell's Nightmare With Hand Doctor Michael Brown Gets Worse

    Houston Astro legend Jeff Bagwell continues to pay the price for getting involved with the weird, sleazy, black hole that is the court odyssey of TV-ad star hand doctor Michael Brown. Brown has had a series of cases in criminal and divorce court, and vague allegations that Bagwell -- who's been goi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 15, 2012

    Comment of the Day: Good Lord, Michael Brown & the Lawyers in His Case

    We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 7, 2012

    Comment of the Day: What Actor Should Play Hand Doctor Michael Brown

    We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involving wit ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 6, 2012

    Forget Blue-Eyed Butcher: Casting Lifetime Movies About Felicia Moon, Victoria Osteen & 3 Others

    Blue-Eyed Butcher was Lifetime's take on the Susan Wright case. It certainly wasn't the first TV movie to be based on a Houston case, and it won't be the last. In fact there are plenty of Houston stories just begging to be made into Lifetime movies. Like these five: 5. Trail Ridin' Dirty: The Feli ... More >>

  • News

    February 23, 2012

    Best Prayer-in-School Ruling Ever

    Blue-Eyed Butcher was Lifetime's take on the Susan Wright case. It certainly wasn't the first TV movie to be based on a Houston case, and it won't be the last. In fact there are plenty of Houston stories just begging to be made into Lifetime movies. Like these five: 5. Trail Ridin' Dirty: The Feli ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 14, 2012

    Yet Another Dr. Brown Lawsuit: Franchisees Say He's Tapping Their Phones, Overbilling Patients

    Physician-franchisees of erstwhile hand doctor/wife-beater Michael Brown's medical empire have sued Brown in Harris County District Court, accusing him of siphoning money for personal "perks," tapping office phones, overbilling patients and blocking doctors' computer access. It's a bit confusing, ... More >>

  • News

    February 9, 2012

    Hand-Doctor Follies

    Brown continues to astound

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2012

    Michael and Rachel Brown Divorce Court: Brown's CFO Takes the Fifth Over Questions About Alleged Embezzlement

    The chief financial officer for Dr. Michael Brown's various corporations invoked his Fifth Amendment rights during divorce proceedings Tuesday and Wednesday in response to a barrage of questions about whether Brown has been siphoning corporate funds to pay for a boat and home in Miami. Under questi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 25, 2012

    Attorney to Judge: Please Make Michael Brown Stop Spending Money on Strippers!

    The divorce lawyer for cocaine-ologist and former hand surgeon Michael Brown's estranged wife have filed a Family Court motion accusing him of violating agreed orders by spending nearly half a million dollars on strippers in 2011. Rachel Brown's attorney, David Brown (no relation), alleges that the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 11, 2012

    Lawsuit: Dr. Michael Brown Gave Me Herpes

    A woman has sued former hand doc Michael Brown for allegedly knowingly giving her anal and vaginal herpes. Filed in a New York County court under the pseudonym "Chris Stevens," the lawsuit claims that Brown was already taking medication for herpes while he was seeing a businesswoman he met in Aspen ... More >>

  • News

    November 24, 2011

    Turkeys of the Year 2011

    We combed through an abundance of riches this year to bring you the best of the worst

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2011

    Dr. Brown Found in Contempt for Stalking Estranged Wife

    Dr. Brown​Cocaine-and-dildo enthusiast Michael Brown has been cited for violating a protective order prohibiting him from following his estranged wife, Rachel. According to transcripts from a November 11 hearing in the 280th Harris County District Court, Brown's attorney, Mike Debruin, stip ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 31, 2011

    Michael Brown's Letters to Sophie, Volume IV: Just a Reminder to Bang Your Husband a Lot, and Draw an Occasional Pampering Bath

    More love tips from the master​With it being Michael Brown week here, we thought we'd bring you another installment of the good doctor's archived, hallowed letters to his then-newborn daughter. This week's installment continues on the theme of how important it is for a wife to rock her husba ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 28, 2011

    The Price is Right, Dr. Brown Style

    An impressively chaotic inventory​In honor of this week's feature story on former hand surgeon and all-around weird dude Michael Brown, and seeing as how it's Friday, we thought we'd have some fun with a Price is Right-style walk through the inventory of belongings in Brown's 2005 bankruptcy f ... More >>

  • News

    October 27, 2011

    Out of Hand

    Michael Glyn Brown was recently acquitted of assaulting his wife. But that's only the latest allegation against the violent, drug-abusing doctor, long a fixture of Houston TV commercials and society.

  • Blogs

    October 26, 2011

    Dr. Brown: A Look Inside the Weirdness

    ​It was difficult getting people to talk, even off the record, for this week's feature story on Dr. Michael Brown. His latest defense attorney, Dick DeGuerin, was quoted this week in the Houston Chronicle as saying Brown "is not understood by the public," and he's right -- to a point. Fortuna ... More >>

  • News

    October 13, 2011

    Michael Brown's Sex Tips

    Give it up to your man

  • Blogs

    October 3, 2011

    Dr. Brown's Letters to Sophie, Volume III: The Key to an Awesome Orgasm

    We're guessing many fathers might feel uncomfortable discussing sex with their daughters. And it's a real shame, because, based on what we're reading in Dr. Michael Brown's "Letters to Sophie," telling your daughter that the key to a happy, successful marriage is to fuck your husband a lot, is in fa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 29, 2011

    Eight Businesses We Expect Will Be Getting Custom Texas License Plates Soon

    ​We recently wrote about a new crop of Texas license plates with a variety of themes, most of them sports related. One of the designs, however, was for the Texas Roadhouse restaurant chain that isn't even based in the Lone Star State. We certainly understand the passion of a sports fan, but ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2011

    Comment of the Day: Brown Letter Edition

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2011

    Dr. Brown's Letters to Sophie, Volume II: Your Mom's a Bitch

    Creepy, creepy letters.​We're still chomping at the bit to get out hands on any of the seven self-published tomes Michael Brown has written about his greatness, including how awesome he is at hunting dangerous game like giraffes. In the meantime, we have the unpublished Letters to Sophie, whic ... More >>

  • News

    September 22, 2011

    9/11 Idiocy, To Go

    Creepy, creepy letters.​We're still chomping at the bit to get out hands on any of the seven self-published tomes Michael Brown has written about his greatness, including how awesome he is at hunting dangerous game like giraffes. In the meantime, we have the unpublished Letters to Sophie, whic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 22, 2011

    Dr. Brown's Letters to Daughter Sophie, Volume I: Sex Should Take Five Minutes

    Dear daughter: "Sex doesn't always have to make you see stars. Typically, it's the man doing most of the work"​It's been six years since we actually heard Michael Brown talk in court; back then, he took the stand to vomit forth unsubstantiated allegations that his daughters with third wife Dar ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 20, 2011

    Brown Trial: Not Guilty, Not Surprising

    Michael Brown is not a guilty man.​In a strictly legal sense, today's not guilty verdict in Dr. Michael Brown's assault trial was probably the right call. Although prosecutors Jane Waters and Nathan Hennigan probably did the best with what they had, they didn't have much. Rachel Brown had no ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 19, 2011

    Michael Brown Gets The Taiwanese-Video Treatment

    Michael Brown: Animated (Dildos not included)​You might have thought the criminal trial of famed hand doctor/TV-ad star Michael Brown had everything: accusations that the supposedly dotng family man assaulted his wife, cameos by superstar athletes, big-name lawyers. But it needs something els ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 19, 2011

    Brown Trial: Jury Still Out

    Michael Brown awaits a jury decision.​The jury in Michael Brown's assault trial will resume deliberations tomorrow, unable to reach a decision after three hours today. The deliberation followed fiery closing arguments by prosecutors Jane Waters and Nathan Hennigan, acting more alive than they ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2011

    Michael Brown Trial: A Butt-Dial and a Humanitarian Award Used as a Weapon

    Michael Brown, throwing humanitarian awards​A butt-dialed voicemail allegedly revealing an extramarital affair spurred the argument leading to Michael Brown's assault charge, prosecutors argued in the first day of testimony in the ex-hand surgeon's trial. After spending August 12, 2010, with ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 8, 2011

    Ex-Hand Doctor Michael Brown's Assault Trial Begins Monday

    Michael Brown: TV ad star is in the dock​Ex-hand surgeon and international dildo transporter Michael Brown is set to stand trial in Harris County District Court September 12 on a felony assault charge involving his wife, Rachel. Brown was indicted in January for an August 2010 incident in whi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 14, 2011

    Comment of the Day: Hand Doctor Michael Brown and Tax Cuts

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 11, 2011

    Michael Brown and Wife Divide Up the Luxury

    A Maserati, a Lamborghini...​Further talk of an alleged hit man in ex-hand doc Michael Brown's divorce case was averted today when lawyers for Brown and his wife signed "agreed temporary orders" divvying up the couple's bounty. And boy, is it a bounty -- especially for a dude who filed bankrup ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 10, 2011

    Michael Brown: Wife's Divorce Attorney Claims the Hand Doctor Tried to Hire a Hit Man to Kill Her

    Michael Brown facing more allegations​Former hand surgeon Michael Brown tried to hire a hit man to kill his wife, his wife's lawyer told a Harris County Family Court judge Thursday. In a heated meeting in front of Judge Jim York, David Brown (no relation) said he had received a tip from the H ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 23, 2011

    Michael Brown: A Twist in the Hand Doctor's Dildo Case

    MGM Grand gets involved​There's a new twist in what we like to call The Suitcase Full of Dildos Suit between lobbyist Stephen Payne and wife-beating former hand surgeon Michael Brown: the MGM Grand Hotel has filed as an intervenor in an attempt to collect a $120,000-plus judgment it won agains ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2011

    Michael Brown, TV-Ad Doctor, Indicted for Felony Assault

    Michael Brown the hand doctor, in trouble again​Our favorite dildo-lovin', coke-sniffin', license-losin', creepy-home-video-makin' ex-doctor, Michael Brown, has been indicted for felony assault by a Harris County grand jury.The January 25 indictment follows Brown's August 2010 arrest for ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 21, 2010

    Seven Best Texas Sex Stories Of 2010

    Feel free to mess with Texans, apparently​'Twas the night before Chritmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring...except for an ex-surgeon with a suitcase full of dildos.That's just one of the Christmas tales parents can tell their young'ns as the year winds down. We now present ... More >>

  • News

    December 16, 2010

    Dr. Brown's Dubai Detention

    Sex toys get hand doc in trouble

  • Blogs

    December 7, 2010

    Michael Brown: Sex Toys And Porn Bring Dubai Trouble For TV's Hand Doctor

    Golfer Cristie Kerr knows how Michael Brown feels​We don't know how we missed this, but cocaine-using, wife-beating, medical-license-losing ex-hand surgeon Michael Brown was detained in Dubai earlier this year when authorities there confiscated "sexual paraphernalia, sex videos, and other objects" ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 19, 2010

    Runner-Up Turkey of the Year: Michael Brown

    Michael Brown escapes this punishment​It's a week or so away from the 2010 Turkeys of the Year issue, where we honor what is best in Turkeydom for the past year. This will be our eighth edition of the awards, and as always competition is stiff. Building up to the grand announcement of the winn ... More >>

  • News

    September 2, 2010

    Bowling and Cosplay

    Gaians come to Houston

  • Blogs

    August 26, 2010

    Dr. Michael Brown & The Astros: What Gives?

    You must be watching an Astros game...​If you're like me, you've always been bugged by those ads for The Brown Hand Center that are shown way too much during Houston Astros games. Maybe it's that whole Stepford family thing, or the way the wife looks terrified, or the girl talking about being dadd ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 26, 2010

    Game Time: 10 Commercials Almost As Creepy As The Brown Hand Center Ads

    You think THIS is creepy?​So Michael Brown and his self-named hand center (which, given his propensity to slap women around, may or may not be the front for some kind of sick wife-beater's dojo) are back in the news.The disturbing back story for this guy has been well chronicled over the last few ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 25, 2010

    Dr. Michael Brown, TV Star, Arrestee, And Chron Society Page Fave

    A photo the Chron doesn't use on its society pages​The Houston Chronicle had the story yesterday about the latest arrest of Dr. Michael Brown, this time accused of assaulting his wife.Everytime the Chron mentions Brown, we think of the 2002 Houston Press story on his druggy, wife-abusing ways (if ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 20, 2009

    More Ugly Trouble For That Doctor From The Wholesome TV Ads

    ​Houston's wackiest, silliest married couple is at it again: Last Sunday night, Rachel Brown, wife of cocaine-enthusiast and medical-license-losing former surgeon Michael Brown (star of local television ads featuring his kids) called 911 because, per the offense report, "her husband is trying to k ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2008

    Paging Doctor Brown. No, Not the Back to the Future Guy. The Wife-Beating, Coke-Snorting Hand Center Guy. Michael Brown. Yeah, That One.

    ​Houston's wackiest, silliest married couple is at it again: Last Sunday night, Rachel Brown, wife of cocaine-enthusiast and medical-license-losing former surgeon Michael Brown (star of local television ads featuring his kids) called 911 because, per the offense report, "her husband is trying to k ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 11, 2008

    This Just In: The Hand Center's Michael Brown Is Awesome

    ​Houston's wackiest, silliest married couple is at it again: Last Sunday night, Rachel Brown, wife of cocaine-enthusiast and medical-license-losing former surgeon Michael Brown (star of local television ads featuring his kids) called 911 because, per the offense report, "her husband is trying to k ... More >>

  • News

    August 30, 2007

    Mail Call

    A Different Breed

  • News

    August 9, 2007

    Harris County librarians and UT Longhorn football players' arrests

    Send in the librarians!!

  • News

    February 3, 2005

    Taking His Medicine

    Troubled hand surgeon Michael Brown pursues custody of his two children

  • News

    October 7, 2004

    Step Right On Up

    It's better to receive than to give

  • News

    February 7, 2002

    Art of the Deal

    Plus: Grim Reality, Hale to the Chief, Get Some Class

  • News

    January 24, 2002

    The Good Doctor

    Michael Brown made it big in the hand clinic business. But as his wife discovered, there was a much darker side to this dynamic surgeon.

  • More >>
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