Michael Brown

  • Blogs

    September 8, 2014

    The Police Department Race Gap in Houston's Suburbs

    In the wake of the Michael Brown shooting in Ferguson, Missouri, growing scrutiny has been placed on police departments across the country with a particular focus on department demographics. Given the fact that Ferguson's citizenry is predominantly black, but minorities representing only a small per ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 28, 2014

    Trial Set For Case Against Bellaire Cop Who Shot Unarmed Black Man

    A federal judge has set a trial date for the civil suit against a white Bellaire police officer who shot an unarmed black man in his parents' driveway. A federal magistrate on Wednesday put Robbie Tolan's lawsuit against Bellaire police officer Jeffrey Cotton on course for a September 2015 trial, c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 27, 2014

    Slim Thug Now Officially Owns Throwback Thursdays

    Want to know the weirdest thing about growing up? Trying to go back and finish something you started as a kid. There probably isn't anything more annoying and weird than watching your friends who are now parents take pictures of their kids on their first days of school. Doesn't matter the grade lev ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 26, 2014

    Crosby, Stills & Nash at Bayou Music Center, 8/25/2014

    Crosby, Stills & Nash Bayou Music Center August 25, 2014 "I don't know how people got this idea that we are a political band," David Crosby -- trademark flowing grey hair and walrus mustache intact -- said Monday night. "It might be from just those one or two songs. Or 18." And indeed, while it s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 15, 2014

    The Whole World is Tweeting: Social Media and Social Justice

    In 1968 outside the Democratic National Convention in Chicago, all hell broke loose. Antiwar protesters had gathered outside the Hilton Hotel, but what was a peaceful demonstration turned violent when police arrested and even beat some of those being arrested, all while TV cameras were trained on th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 7, 2014

    Rachel Brown Accuses Her Attorneys of Ripping Her Off

    Michael "I Hope There's Tons of Cocaine in Heaven" Brown's widow, Rachel Brown, has sued three of her attorneys, accusing them of looking out for their own financial interests instead of protecting hers. Filed March 31 in Harris County District Court, the suit accuses David Brown (no relation), Je ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 27, 2013

    Sources: Michael Brown in Miami Hospital

    Ex-hand doc Michael Brown is in serious condition in a Miami hospital, sources told Hair Balls on Sunday. Citing hospital policy, a supervisor at Mount Sinai Medical Center would not confirm if Brown was a patient. Brown was to report to Miami authorities October 25 to begin a 30-day sentence in f ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 29, 2013

    From Hair Balls to Rocks Off: Songs for Houston's White-Collar Criminals

    Houston has a strong job market. Many of those jobs are professional positions in a wide range of industries. Many of the people working in those jobs are creepy, sometimes even murderous criminals. Just because you've earned a PhD and a seven figure income doesn't mean you can't be wretched. All ... More >>

  • News

    August 8, 2013

    Not on Hand

    Dr. Michael Brown a no-show at hearing; judge issues warrant.

  • Blogs

    April 1, 2013

    Michael Brown: He Was Quietly Released From Jail Last Week

    It was truly a Good Friday for ex-hand surgeon Michael "She Had a Nice Ass, and I Was Hard" Brown, who was released from Harris County Jail March 28, after serving about 20 days of his 180-day sentence. Although Harris County Family Court Judge Sheri Dean denied Brown's request for an early releas ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 25, 2013

    UPDATED: Michael Brown Says He Got E. Coli in Jail, So He Needs Out -- Now!

    Update: Judge Sheri Dean didn't spring Michael Brown from jail today after hearing from Rachel Brown's attorneys, as well as another attorney Dean personally assigned as an administrative judge, that Brown hasn't paid attorneys' fees as ordered. However, he has another jail review hearing April 4. I ... More >>

  • News

    March 14, 2013

    The Doctor Is in (Jail)

    Michael Brown's wild week.

  • Blogs

    March 8, 2013

    Michael Brown Gets 180 Days in Jail

    Judge Sheri Dean sentenced Michael Brown to 180 days in Harris County Jail this morning for spending millions on luxury items and real estate, in violation of a 2011 court order. She found he had violated the majority of claims his estranged wife Rachel Brown brought against him in their Neverending ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 6, 2013

    Michael Brown's Lawyers: He's Broke, and Jeff Bagwell is Trying to "Take" His Children

    While Michael "Sex Advice Columnist for His Own Daughter" Brown testified in a contempt hearing in Houston this week, lawyers in Miami are continually filing a flurry of papers claiming, among other things, that Brown was too broke to fly his private plane, despite the fact that he recently filed pa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 12, 2012

    Who Will Be 2012's Turkey of the Year? Only the Shadow Knows. (Well, and Us, Too, Because We Wrote the Dang Thing.)

    Hair Balls had an amazing dream the other night -- one of the best dreams we had that didn't involve us having to immediately change the sheets. In the dream, we had no reason to do our annual Turkeys of the Year issue, for no officials or other prominent Texans had done or said anything stupid or t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 16, 2012

    Jeff Bagwell's Nightmare With Hand Doctor Michael Brown Gets Worse

    Houston Astro legend Jeff Bagwell continues to pay the price for getting involved with the weird, sleazy, black hole that is the court odyssey of TV-ad star hand doctor Michael Brown. Brown has had a series of cases in criminal and divorce court, and vague allegations that Bagwell -- who's been goi ... More >>

  • News

    January 19, 2012
  • Blogs

    January 10, 2012

    Stacy Shey: Dr. Brown's Alleged Stripper Ex Says He Spent $60K/Month on Gal Pals

    Attention hot twenty-year-old strippers: Have you ever wondered what it'd be like to date a famous Houston doctor? Namely, one who pledges to treat you "like family"? Well, according to one gal we spoke with, it's quite the gig. Our peek into the dating life of former hand surgeon/man-about-town-no ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 23, 2011

    The Year In Astros Baseball: Thank God That's Over

    ​So let's continue our look back at the sporting year that was 2011 by taking a look at the Top 25 events to happen to the Houston Astros. 1. They finished with the worst record in team history, which was quite the accomplishment seeing as how the Astros were pretty damn bad for most of the ... More >>

  • News

    November 24, 2011

    Turkeys of the Year 2011

    We combed through an abundance of riches this year to bring you the best of the worst

  • Blogs

    November 15, 2011

    Dr. Brown Found in Contempt for Stalking Estranged Wife

    Dr. Brown​Cocaine-and-dildo enthusiast Michael Brown has been cited for violating a protective order prohibiting him from following his estranged wife, Rachel. According to transcripts from a November 11 hearing in the 280th Harris County District Court, Brown's attorney, Mike Debruin, stip ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 29, 2011

    Eight Businesses We Expect Will Be Getting Custom Texas License Plates Soon

    ​We recently wrote about a new crop of Texas license plates with a variety of themes, most of them sports related. One of the designs, however, was for the Texas Roadhouse restaurant chain that isn't even based in the Lone Star State. We certainly understand the passion of a sports fan, but ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2011

    Dr. Brown's Letters to Sophie, Volume II: Your Mom's a Bitch

    Creepy, creepy letters.​We're still chomping at the bit to get out hands on any of the seven self-published tomes Michael Brown has written about his greatness, including how awesome he is at hunting dangerous game like giraffes. In the meantime, we have the unpublished Letters to Sophie, whic ... More >>

  • News

    September 22, 2011
  • Blogs

    September 19, 2011

    Brown Trial: Jury Still Out

    Michael Brown awaits a jury decision.​The jury in Michael Brown's assault trial will resume deliberations tomorrow, unable to reach a decision after three hours today. The deliberation followed fiery closing arguments by prosecutors Jane Waters and Nathan Hennigan, acting more alive than they ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 15, 2011

    Brown Trial: Please, For the Love of God, Make the Lameness Go Away

    Trial resumes Monday​"I saw him chasing my mom," Michael Brown's 13-year-old stepdaughter told the jury in today's excruciatingly dull and pointless edition of the ex-hand surgeon's assault trial. Brown showed no emotion (just as he's done throughout this ordeal) as the girl testified in a v ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 14, 2011

    Brown Trial: Rachel And Bagwell, Sittin' in a Tree

    Jeff Bagwell lends a hand​Judge Jim Wallace did not allow Michael Brown's lawyers to introduce evidence that the ex-hand surgeon's wife is banging former Astro Jeff Bagwell in Brown's assault trial today. Arguing admissibility after the jury was excused, attorney Dick DeGuerin got Rachel Brow ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2011

    Michael Brown Trial: A Butt-Dial and a Humanitarian Award Used as a Weapon

    Michael Brown, throwing humanitarian awards​A butt-dialed voicemail allegedly revealing an extramarital affair spurred the argument leading to Michael Brown's assault charge, prosecutors argued in the first day of testimony in the ex-hand surgeon's trial. After spending August 12, 2010, with ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 28, 2011

    Michael Brown, TV-Ad Doctor, Indicted for Felony Assault

    Michael Brown the hand doctor, in trouble again​Our favorite dildo-lovin', coke-sniffin', license-losin', creepy-home-video-makin' ex-doctor, Michael Brown, has been indicted for felony assault by a Harris County grand jury.The January 25 indictment follows Brown's August 2010 arrest for ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 21, 2010

    Seven Best Texas Sex Stories Of 2010

    Feel free to mess with Texans, apparently​'Twas the night before Chritmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring...except for an ex-surgeon with a suitcase full of dildos.That's just one of the Christmas tales parents can tell their young'ns as the year winds down. We now present ... More >>

  • News

    December 16, 2010

    Dr. Brown's Dubai Detention

    Sex toys get hand doc in trouble

  • News

    November 25, 2010

    2010 Turkeys of the Year

    Metro chief Frank Wilson is our biggest gobbler.

  • News

    September 2, 2010

    Bowling and Cosplay

    Gaians come to Houston

  • Blogs

    August 26, 2010

    Dr. Michael Brown & The Astros: What Gives?

    You must be watching an Astros game...​If you're like me, you've always been bugged by those ads for The Brown Hand Center that are shown way too much during Houston Astros games. Maybe it's that whole Stepford family thing, or the way the wife looks terrified, or the girl talking about being dadd ... More >>

  • News

    August 30, 2007

    Mail Call

    A Different Breed

  • Blogs

    December 4, 2006

    Keeping Up with Dr. Brown

    Brown's now forbidden to get this close to 50 percent of his kids. When we last left renowned hand surgeon-cum-wife-beater Dr. Michael Brown, he had lost his medical license for failing a drug test. But his woes did not end there: On November 7, a Harris County judge granted a protective order ba ... More >>

  • News

    October 7, 2004

    Step Right On Up

    It's better to receive than to give

  • News

    February 7, 2002

    Art of the Deal

    Plus: Grim Reality, Hale to the Chief, Get Some Class

  • News

    July 19, 2001

    Pipeline to the Pros

    One of the straightest paths to the NBA begins on the summer hoops circuit. All the kids have to do in return is wear the right shoes.