Michael "I Hope There's Tons of Cocaine in Heaven" Brown's widow, Rachel Brown, has sued three of her attorneys, accusing them of looking out for their own financial interests instead of protecting hers. Filed March 31 in Harris County District Court, the suit accuses David Brown (no relation), Je ... More >>
Ex-hand doc Michael Brown is in serious condition in a Miami hospital, sources told Hair Balls on Sunday. Citing hospital policy, a supervisor at Mount Sinai Medical Center would not confirm if Brown was a patient. Brown was to report to Miami authorities October 25 to begin a 30-day sentence in f ... More >>
Houston has a strong job market. Many of those jobs are professional positions in a wide range of industries. Many of the people working in those jobs are creepy, sometimes even murderous criminals. Just because you've earned a PhD and a seven figure income doesn't mean you can't be wretched. All ... More >>
Dr. Michael Brown a no-show at hearing; judge issues warrant.
It was truly a Good Friday for ex-hand surgeon Michael "She Had a Nice Ass, and I Was Hard" Brown, who was released from Harris County Jail March 28, after serving about 20 days of his 180-day sentence. Although Harris County Family Court Judge Sheri Dean denied Brown's request for an early releas ... More >>
Update: Judge Sheri Dean didn't spring Michael Brown from jail today after hearing from Rachel Brown's attorneys, as well as another attorney Dean personally assigned as an administrative judge, that Brown hasn't paid attorneys' fees as ordered. However, he has another jail review hearing April 4. I ... More >>
Michael Brown's wild week.
Judge Sheri Dean sentenced Michael Brown to 180 days in Harris County Jail this morning for spending millions on luxury items and real estate, in violation of a 2011 court order. She found he had violated the majority of claims his estranged wife Rachel Brown brought against him in their Neverending ... More >>
While Michael "Sex Advice Columnist for His Own Daughter" Brown testified in a contempt hearing in Houston this week, lawyers in Miami are continually filing a flurry of papers claiming, among other things, that Brown was too broke to fly his private plane, despite the fact that he recently filed pa ... More >>
Hair Balls had an amazing dream the other night -- one of the best dreams we had that didn't involve us having to immediately change the sheets. In the dream, we had no reason to do our annual Turkeys of the Year issue, for no officials or other prominent Texans had done or said anything stupid or t ... More >>
Houston Astro legend Jeff Bagwell continues to pay the price for getting involved with the weird, sleazy, black hole that is the court odyssey of TV-ad star hand doctor Michael Brown. Brown has had a series of cases in criminal and divorce court, and vague allegations that Bagwell -- who's been goi ... More >>
Attention hot twenty-year-old strippers: Have you ever wondered what it'd be like to date a famous Houston doctor? Namely, one who pledges to treat you "like family"? Well, according to one gal we spoke with, it's quite the gig. Our peek into the dating life of former hand surgeon/man-about-town-no ... More >>
So let's continue our look back at the sporting year that was 2011 by taking a look at the Top 25 events to happen to the Houston Astros. 1. They finished with the worst record in team history, which was quite the accomplishment seeing as how the Astros were pretty damn bad for most of the ... More >>
We combed through an abundance of riches this year to bring you the best of the worst
Dr. BrownCocaine-and-dildo enthusiast Michael Brown has been cited for violating a protective order prohibiting him from following his estranged wife, Rachel. According to transcripts from a November 11 hearing in the 280th Harris County District Court, Brown's attorney, Mike Debruin, stip ... More >>
We recently wrote about a new crop of Texas license plates with a variety of themes, most of them sports related. One of the designs, however, was for the Texas Roadhouse restaurant chain that isn't even based in the Lone Star State. We certainly understand the passion of a sports fan, but ... More >>
Creepy, creepy letters.We're still chomping at the bit to get out hands on any of the seven self-published tomes Michael Brown has written about his greatness, including how awesome he is at hunting dangerous game like giraffes. In the meantime, we have the unpublished Letters to Sophie, whic ... More >>
Michael Brown awaits a jury decision.The jury in Michael Brown's assault trial will resume deliberations tomorrow, unable to reach a decision after three hours today. The deliberation followed fiery closing arguments by prosecutors Jane Waters and Nathan Hennigan, acting more alive than they ... More >>
Trial resumes Monday"I saw him chasing my mom," Michael Brown's 13-year-old stepdaughter told the jury in today's excruciatingly dull and pointless edition of the ex-hand surgeon's assault trial. Brown showed no emotion (just as he's done throughout this ordeal) as the girl testified in a v ... More >>
Jeff Bagwell lends a handJudge Jim Wallace did not allow Michael Brown's lawyers to introduce evidence that the ex-hand surgeon's wife is banging former Astro Jeff Bagwell in Brown's assault trial today. Arguing admissibility after the jury was excused, attorney Dick DeGuerin got Rachel Brow ... More >>
Michael Brown the hand doctor, in trouble againOur favorite dildo-lovin', coke-sniffin', license-losin', creepy-home-video-makin' ex-doctor, Michael Brown, has been indicted for felony assault by a Harris County grand jury.The January 25 indictment follows Brown's August 2010 arrest for ... More >>
Sex toys get hand doc in trouble
Metro chief Frank Wilson is our biggest gobbler.
Gaians come to Houston
You must be watching an Astros game...If you're like me, you've always been bugged by those ads for The Brown Hand Center that are shown way too much during Houston Astros games. Maybe it's that whole Stepford family thing, or the way the wife looks terrified, or the girl talking about being dadd ... More >>
A Different Breed
Brown's now forbidden to get this close to 50 percent of his kids. When we last left renowned hand surgeon-cum-wife-beater Dr. Michael Brown, he had lost his medical license for failing a drug test. But his woes did not end there: On November 7, a Harris County judge granted a protective order ba ... More >>
It's better to receive than to give
Plus: Grim Reality, Hale to the Chief, Get Some Class
One of the straightest paths to the NBA begins on the summer hoops circuit. All the kids have to do in return is wear the right shoes.