Michele Bachmann

  • News

    January 30, 2014

    'Plumbing' Problems

    Louie Gohmert makes his latest argument against gay marriage and it's a doozy.

  • Blogs

    January 20, 2014

    Louie Gohmert is Against Gay Marriage Because of 'Plumbing' Problems

    Congressman Louie Gohmert is at it again. The East Texas representative is known for spouting his opinions with little regard for minor things like facts, or reason, or not making it look as if everyone in Texas is a bigoted, racist idiot, and he has been airing his views on the move to legalize gay ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 11, 2013

    The 20 Worst People of 2013

    Featuring threesome seekers, cokehead judges, hockey dads from hell and, quite naturally, Wells Fargo.

  • Blogs

    May 1, 2013

    The Five Most Idiotic Things Louie Gohmert, Who Sees Radical Muslims Anywhere He Looks, Believes

    Louis Gohmert doesn't need evidence. He doesn't need proof, or sourcing, or the ability to back up a claim with anything other than the vitriol in his voice and the consternation in his gut. All he needs is an idea, and a microphone, and away we go. Gohmert's idiocies idiosyncrasies have brought pl ... More >>

  • News

    April 25, 2013

    Thieves' Bazaar: Medicare Fraud

    Hospitals, doctors and dealers have made Medicare the nation's sweetest crime. The feds are now trying to shutter the door.

  • News

    February 28, 2013

    The Ten Weirdest Members of Congress

    Texas claims three of the top spots.

  • Blogs

    February 25, 2013

    Houston Sets Off National Dialogue on Islamic Innocence

    The imam smiled. He'd been waiting for this question, it seemed. It was a soft Saturday afternoon, and this imam, Azhar Haneef, the national vice president of Ahmadiyya Muslim Community USA, had just finished an hour-long tour of videos displaying the prophet Muhammad's pacifism at the Baitus Samee ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 31, 2012

    Thus Endeth The Republican Convention: The Best Of Our Miami Sister Paper's Coverage

    Florida has survived the 2012 Republican National Convention, which perhaps should not surprise too many people because Florida has always shown a knack for surviving whatever gets thrown at it. Even if it's Clint Eastwood arguing with a chair. The RNC was in Tampa, but our sister paper Miami New ... More >>

  • News

    August 23, 2012
  • Blogs

    August 14, 2012

    A&M Shooter Thomas Caffall's Disturbing Facebook Page: Yoda, Emily Dickinson, Commie Guns

    Thomas Caffall's mother told the media yesterday that she had been worried about her son's mental state, and from looking at his Facebook page, it's easy to see why. Having a right-wing gun nut in the family is one thing. Having one who goes around quoting Yoda and Emily Dickinson is another. Caffa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 9, 2012

    Doctor's Dilemma: Medically Proving That Watching Pig Pornography Is Stressful

    Seems as though the only thing Jerry Wilson didn't do was make his employees watch Two Girls, One Cup. But everything else, apparently, no matter how disgusting or creepy or totally, totally against the law was just fine. (Allegedly.) According to a lawsuit filed in Harris County in 2010: Jerry Wil ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 1, 2012

    Ted Cruz: First Intellectual Tea-Partier Ever

    Last night, as we watched Sarah Palin bloviate on Fox News -- yes, doubtful reader, we do under highly unusual circumstances tune in to Fox News -- we were struck by something. Ted Cruz, compared to virtually every single Tea Party member on this green earth like Palin, is really damn articulate. Li ... More >>

  • News

    July 5, 2012

    America's Petro-Terrorists

    Wall Street and Washington conspire to destablize the U.S. economy, one barrel of oil at a time.

  • Blogs

    March 8, 2012

    Seven Highlights from the "Rick Perry for President 2012" Facebook Page, Where Hope Never Dies

    As we proved conclusively yesterday in chart form, Rick Perry is riding a rocket of momentum (Note: The chart included an actual rocket) towards the White House, with his Super Tuesday vote total a vast increase over his Michigan/Arizona primaries total. The fever is building, if the mainstream med ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 29, 2012

    Montrose, Meet Your New Congressman: Ted Poe, Homophobe

    It looks like Texas just might finally have a redistricting map, after several tries. If this one goes through, Montrose will be represented by...Ted Poe. Now, it's not like the neighborhood has been represented by a GLBT-friendly rep prior to redistricting; John Culberson is a hardcore rightwinge ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 9, 2012

    Jack Donaghy Backs Romney: Our Favorite TV Characters Vote

    The Republicans are whittling down now to the bare bones. Not to discredit anyone, but the race is basically Rom vs. Newt for the win. While we don't really miss the circus show that was the Republican Party just a few short months ago, at least we had more options. Now that we are getting down to t ... More >>

  • News

    January 26, 2012

    Tea Party Princess

    Victoria Jackson went from the big leagues of comedy to the rabid right of modern politics.

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2012

    10 Rock Stars the GOP Should Nominate for President

    As the 2012 presidential race begins to heat up in earnest, Rocks Off can't help but feel that the front-runners for the Republican nomination are lacking a certain je ne sais quoi. Call it star power. Call it sex appeal. Whatever it is, these guys ain't got it. If the GOP is serious about wresti ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 28, 2011

    The Week in TV: The Muppets Now Control Everything

    Not much happened last week, what with everyone taking extra naps and blaming it on the turkey. Still, it wasn't a totally uneventful week in TV Land: • Having been dragged back into the mainstream spotlight by Jason Segel, the Muppets are now eyeing a return to TV, the medium that first brought ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 19, 2011

    Rick Perry "Brothers" Up Herman Cain

    We watched the GOP debate last night, all of its glorious jaw-dropping moment after jaw-dropping moment. Analysis seems to indicate Rick Perry did better, but to us he came across as peevish, ill-prepared and flailing. In other words, like Rick Perry in a debate. We did love his criticism of Herma ... More >>

  • News

    October 6, 2011

    Miracle Faker

    Rick Perry is right: America can learn from Texas. He's just wrong about what the lesson is.

  • Blogs

    September 9, 2011

    This Week in Deliciousness

    Unfortunately, both Flaming Patties and Flaming Selma's are outdone by Flaming Moe's.​Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where the nice weather can only mean one thing: soon our faces will be exploding with pollen. Ready the hot sauce and Benadryl, bitches, it's time ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 18, 2011

    Rick Perry Campaign Songs You May Hear Soon

    Bryan Williams"Hey man, is that Freedom Rock? Turn it up!"​In news that surprised absolutely no one, Rick Perry - governor of the great state of Texas for 11 years running - announced his candidacy for Presidency of the United States last weekend. The news of Perry throwing his hat in the ring ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 21, 2011

    Comment of the Day: Rick Perry, Texas A&M QB, Properly Captioned

    ​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 13, 2011

    Michele Bachmann's Slavery-Pledge Fracas: UH Gets Drawn In

    The Colbert ReportGet More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video ArchiveGOP Presidential superstar Michele Bachmann recently took time out from her constant anti-gay missteps to mess up in a new area: slavery. She and Rick Santorum have signed a "Family Leader" pledge ab ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 1, 2011

    Sarah Palin Sneak Preview: The Agony of The Undefeated

    That word you keep using...​There was an advance screening last night of The Undefeated, the new film by Stephen K. Bannon that traces the rise of former Alaska governor Sarah Palin from her early years as mayor of Wasilla to John McCain's 2008 Vice-Presidential candidate to her new status as ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2011

    Pop Rocks: Alternative Songs for the 2012 Candidates

    Please god, no.​Poor Michele Bachmann, first the John Wayne/John Wayne Gacy thing, now Tom Petty's piling on as well: The inaugural music-related strike of the 2012 presidential race comes from Tom Petty, who issued a cease and desist letter to Michele Bachmann's campaign to get her to stop ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2011

    Pop Rocks: Songs In The Key Of [Presidential] Fail

    Please god, no.​Poor Michele Bachmann, first the John Wayne/John Wayne Gacy thing, now Tom Petty's piling on as well: The inaugural music-related strike of the 2012 presidential race comes from Tom Petty, who issued a cease and desist letter to Michele Bachmann's campaign to get her to stop ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 28, 2011

    One Night with Glenn Beck: A Twitter Diary

    Photo by Craig HlavatyThey lined up to hear Glenn Beck.​Glenn Beck was in Houston on Friday for a stop on his current speaking tour, dubbed the "Glenn Beck Live On Stage!" tour; it was everything I hoped it would be, with a few twists and turns. As an observer of most things Tea Party and cons ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2010

    Tea Party Congressmen From Texas Love Their Earmarks

    Damn those earmarks!! Except mine​Brave, insightful, brilliant, not-at-all-crazy U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann founded the Congressional Tea Party Caucus to save America from Muslim presidents and stop federal spending by stopping earmarks, the modern term for pork-barrel projects. Republicans i ... More >>

  • News

    July 29, 2010

    Snatching Some Meth

    Local woman hides drugs in vagina

  • Blogs

    April 26, 2010

    Michelle Bachmann FAIL: Houston, Harris County Beats 2000 Rate Of Mailing In Census Forms

    Why don't Texans agree with this woman that the Census is an evil plot?​Way out there among the legions of birthers and deathers and FEMA concentration camp believers, there's the census haters. Led by Minnesota rep Michelle Bachmann, they refuse to fill out the 2010 census forms because...because ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 20, 2010

    She's Comin': Sarah Palin To Campaign With Rick Perry In Houston

    Photo courtesy Rick Perry campaign​Start droppin' yer Gs now!! Sarah Palin is a-headed to town, with a bucketfull of common-sense talk for all them hot-air artists up in Washington!!!Rick Perry's campaign announced today that Palin will appear with the governor in "the Houston area" February 7."I ... More >>