Michele Bachmann

The Five Most Idiotic Things Louie Gohmert, Who Sees Radical Muslims Anywhere He Looks, Believes

Louis Gohmert doesn't need evidence. He doesn't need proof, or sourcing, or the ability to back up a claim with anything other than the vitriol in his voice and the consternation in his gut. All he needs is an idea, and a microphone, and away we go. Gohmert's idiocies idiosyncrasies have brought pl ... More >>

Thieves' Bazaar: Medicare Fraud

Hospitals, doctors and dealers have made Medicare the nation's sweetest crime. The feds are now trying to shutter the door.

The Ten Weirdest Members of Congress

Texas claims three of the top spots.

Houston Sets Off National Dialogue on Islamic Innocence

The imam smiled. He'd been waiting for this question, it seemed. It was a soft Saturday afternoon, and this imam, Azhar Haneef, the national vice president of Ahmadiyya Muslim Community USA, had just finished an hour-long tour of videos displaying the prophet Muhammad's pacifism at the Baitus Samee ... More >>

Thus Endeth The Republican Convention: The Best Of Our Miami Sister Paper's Coverage

Florida has survived the 2012 Republican National Convention, which perhaps should not surprise too many people because Florida has always shown a knack for surviving whatever gets thrown at it. Even if it's Clint Eastwood arguing with a chair. The RNC was in Tampa, but our sister paper Miami New ... More >>

Facebook Weirdness

A&M Shooter Thomas Caffall's Disturbing Facebook Page: Yoda, Emily Dickinson, Commie Guns

Thomas Caffall's mother told the media yesterday that she had been worried about her son's mental state, and from looking at his Facebook page, it's easy to see why. Having a right-wing gun nut in the family is one thing. Having one who goes around quoting Yoda and Emily Dickinson is another. Caffa ... More >>

Doctor's Dilemma: Medically Proving That Watching Pig Pornography Is Stressful

Seems as though the only thing Jerry Wilson didn't do was make his employees watch Two Girls, One Cup. But everything else, apparently, no matter how disgusting or creepy or totally, totally against the law was just fine. (Allegedly.) According to a lawsuit filed in Harris County in 2010: Jerry Wil ... More >>

Ted Cruz: First Intellectual Tea-Partier Ever

Last night, as we watched Sarah Palin bloviate on Fox News -- yes, doubtful reader, we do under highly unusual circumstances tune in to Fox News -- we were struck by something. Ted Cruz, compared to virtually every single Tea Party member on this green earth like Palin, is really damn articulate. Li ... More >>

America's Petro-Terrorists

Wall Street and Washington conspire to destablize the U.S. economy, one barrel of oil at a time.

Seven Highlights from the "Rick Perry for President 2012" Facebook Page, Where Hope Never Dies

As we proved conclusively yesterday in chart form, Rick Perry is riding a rocket of momentum (Note: The chart included an actual rocket) towards the White House, with his Super Tuesday vote total a vast increase over his Michigan/Arizona primaries total. The fever is building, if the mainstream med ... More >>

Montrose, Meet Your New Congressman: Ted Poe, Homophobe

It looks like Texas just might finally have a redistricting map, after several tries. If this one goes through, Montrose will be represented by...Ted Poe. Now, it's not like the neighborhood has been represented by a GLBT-friendly rep prior to redistricting; John Culberson is a hardcore rightwinge ... More >>

Jack Donaghy Backs Romney: Our Favorite TV Characters Vote

The Republicans are whittling down now to the bare bones. Not to discredit anyone, but the race is basically Rom vs. Newt for the win. While we don't really miss the circus show that was the Republican Party just a few short months ago, at least we had more options. Now that we are getting down to t ... More >>

Tea Party Princess

Victoria Jackson went from the big leagues of comedy to the rabid right of modern politics.

10 Rock Stars the GOP Should Nominate for President

As the 2012 presidential race begins to heat up in earnest, Rocks Off can't help but feel that the front-runners for the Republican nomination are lacking a certain je ne sais quoi. Call it star power. Call it sex appeal. Whatever it is, these guys ain't got it. If the GOP is serious about wresti ... More >>

The Week in TV: The Muppets Now Control Everything

Not much happened last week, what with everyone taking extra naps and blaming it on the turkey. Still, it wasn't a totally uneventful week in TV Land: • Having been dragged back into the mainstream spotlight by Jason Segel, the Muppets are now eyeing a return to TV, the medium that first brought ... More >>

Rick Perry "Brothers" Up Herman Cain

We watched the GOP debate last night, all of its glorious jaw-dropping moment after jaw-dropping moment. Analysis seems to indicate Rick Perry did better, but to us he came across as peevish, ill-prepared and flailing. In other words, like Rick Perry in a debate. We did love his criticism of Herma ... More >>

Miracle Faker

Rick Perry is right: America can learn from Texas. He's just wrong about what the lesson is.

This Week in Deliciousness

Unfortunately, both Flaming Patties and Flaming Selma's are outdone by Flaming Moe's.​Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where the nice weather can only mean one thing: soon our faces will be exploding with pollen. Ready the hot sauce and Benadryl, bitches, it's time ... More >>

Rick Perry Campaign Songs You May Hear Soon

Bryan Williams"Hey man, is that Freedom Rock? Turn it up!"​In news that surprised absolutely no one, Rick Perry - governor of the great state of Texas for 11 years running - announced his candidacy for Presidency of the United States last weekend. The news of Perry throwing his hat in the ring ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Rick Perry, Texas A&M QB, Properly Captioned

​We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula involv ... More >>

Michele Bachmann's Slavery-Pledge Fracas: UH Gets Drawn In

The Colbert ReportGet More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video ArchiveGOP Presidential superstar Michele Bachmann recently took time out from her constant anti-gay missteps to mess up in a new area: slavery. She and Rick Santorum have signed a "Family Leader" pledge ab ... More >>

Sarah Palin Sneak Preview: The Agony of The Undefeated

That word you keep using...​There was an advance screening last night of The Undefeated, the new film by Stephen K. Bannon that traces the rise of former Alaska governor Sarah Palin from her early years as mayor of Wasilla to John McCain's 2008 Vice-Presidential candidate to her new status as ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Alternative Songs for the 2012 Candidates

Please god, no.​Poor Michele Bachmann, first the John Wayne/John Wayne Gacy thing, now Tom Petty's piling on as well: The inaugural music-related strike of the 2012 presidential race comes from Tom Petty, who issued a cease and desist letter to Michele Bachmann's campaign to get her to stop ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Songs In The Key Of [Presidential] Fail

Please god, no.​Poor Michele Bachmann, first the John Wayne/John Wayne Gacy thing, now Tom Petty's piling on as well: The inaugural music-related strike of the 2012 presidential race comes from Tom Petty, who issued a cease and desist letter to Michele Bachmann's campaign to get her to stop ... More >>

One Night with Glenn Beck: A Twitter Diary

Photo by Craig HlavatyThey lined up to hear Glenn Beck.​Glenn Beck was in Houston on Friday for a stop on his current speaking tour, dubbed the "Glenn Beck Live On Stage!" tour; it was everything I hoped it would be, with a few twists and turns. As an observer of most things Tea Party and cons ... More >>

Tea Party Congressmen From Texas Love Their Earmarks

Damn those earmarks!! Except mine​Brave, insightful, brilliant, not-at-all-crazy U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann founded the Congressional Tea Party Caucus to save America from Muslim presidents and stop federal spending by stopping earmarks, the modern term for pork-barrel projects. Republicans i ... More >>

Snatching Some Meth

Local woman hides drugs in vagina

Michelle Bachmann FAIL: Houston, Harris County Beats 2000 Rate Of Mailing In Census Forms

Why don't Texans agree with this woman that the Census is an evil plot?​Way out there among the legions of birthers and deathers and FEMA concentration camp believers, there's the census haters. Led by Minnesota rep Michelle Bachmann, they refuse to fill out the 2010 census forms because...because ... More >>

She's Comin': Sarah Palin To Campaign With Rick Perry In Houston

Photo courtesy Rick Perry campaign​Start droppin' yer Gs now!! Sarah Palin is a-headed to town, with a bucketfull of common-sense talk for all them hot-air artists up in Washington!!!Rick Perry's campaign announced today that Palin will appear with the governor in "the Houston area" February 7."I ... More >>