Mike Myers

A Paean to the Pogues, For St. Patrick's Day

What does it mean to be Irish? Red hair? The gift of gab? A drinking problem? The itch to fight? Of course not. All you need to be Irish is a deep and abiding affection for the Pogues. When I was probably 15, a freshman in high school, I started staying up late enough to watch Saturday Night Live ... More >>

Thieves Stealing UPS Packages: Five Things They Won't Want When They Open Them

According to a report from KHOU, neighbors in midtown caught two men stealing UPS packages and called police, who arrested them. By the looks of the video -- and knowing the area -- these were probably homeless men looking for something they could pawn. Given the time of year, it's not uncommon to h ... More >>

Christmas Past: The Lost Sinatra Group Christmas Episode

While we celebrate the holidays, Rocks Off is resurrecting a few of our best Christmas-themed blogs from the past few years. (Wait... resurrecting is Easter. Never mind.) This blog originally appeared December 22, 2010. Through the magic of Christmas, Rocks Off has received a copy of the transcript ... More >>

Five Movies That Kept Classic Songs Partying On

You might be surprised to learn that in 1992 the No. 1 movie in theaters on Valentine's Day was not a romantic comedy. Twenty years ago this week, a film about a pair of rock-obsessed, public-access TV hosts from Aurora, Illinois was released, and would go on to make $121 million at the box office. ... More >>

Tea Party Princess

Victoria Jackson went from the big leagues of comedy to the rabid right of modern politics.

Charlize Theron and Her Crappy Movie Take Top Chef: Texas Even Further Off the Rails

​Charlize Theron is an actress from South Africa who lives in Los Angeles and is currently filming a shitty-looking Kristen Stewart movie set in England, so naturally she's the best choice for this week's episode of Top Chef: Texas. This show continues to make less and less sense the more it wears ... More >>

The Lost Sinatra Group Christmas Episode

​Through the magic of Christmas, Rocks Off has received a copy of the transcript of the "Sinatra Group" sketch that was filmed in an alternate reality last weekend, one in which Phil Hartman never died, and Saturday Night Live is currently in one of its funniest seasons to date. What else cou ... More >>

Rappers Vs. Uncle Sam: N.W.A., Eminem, Kanye...

​Mike Myers will probably go down in history as the most uncomfortable white guy next to a black guy in TV history, thanks to Kanye West's unscripted outburst during that infamous Hurricane Katrina telethon. It began with Myers reading his part of the script verbatim. Two-thirds into the PSA, ... More >>

Musicians Do More In Bed Than Just... Sleep

​Today is the anniversary of one of the most unusual events in a most unusual decade. On May 26, 1969, John Lennon and Yoko Ono began their "Bed-In for Peace" at Montreal's Queen Elizabeth Hotel. It was the second of such boudoir-bound protests (or, if you prefer, media stunts); the couple folded ... More >>

Rocks Off Exclusive: Things Beyonce Will Be Doing on Her Break from Music

​ On top of everything else this week, sadly the news has come out that our beloved Beyonce is taking a break from music. Just when we need her the most, right? We miss B and Ms. Fierce already, and we're already speculating what she might get up to while taking her sabbatical away from the public ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Why 2010 Is Going To Suck, Pt. 1

I know I'm not the only person who feels like high-fiving everyone at the end of the holiday season, heady with the triumph of having survived another two weeks of forced jocularity, awkward family moments, bad TV, and worse music. The new year, with it's promise of fresh opportunities to screw up a ... More >>

The Best and Worst Christmas Specials of All Time

Every winter brings the onslaught of family tension, shopping, and that most American of pastimes, the Christmas special. They're typically half an hour, though they can be longer, and they often take characters from an already-established world and run them through the gauntlet of festivities surro ... More >>

Dancing With the Stars: A Grotesque Carnival of Human Misery?

It's NOT Donny Osmond!​Holy flurking schnit! It's week eight of Dancing With the Stars, which for those who don't know is when the rubber made of stardust meets the road made of awesome and the car of dreams speeds off into, um, Kickassville. I'm just kidding; the show's still incredibly borin ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Tips For Strip-Mining Our Childhoods

​Spike Jonze's live-action version of Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are led the box office this weekend, grossing over $32 million. Last month, another children's book adaptation, Sony Pictures' version of Judi and Ron Barrett's Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, scored similar numbers f ... More >>

Houston Woman A Star (Unfortunately) In The New Michael Moore Movie

​Michael Moore's new movie, Capitalism: A Love Story, expectedly serves up a quick and dirty glimpse at the consequences of unfettered corporate corruption and exploitation. But the most disturbing story of corporate greed in the film, unfortunately, comes right from our own backyard.Houston widow ... More >>

All Falls Down: Kanye West's Six - Well, Seven Now - Douchiest Moments

​If you're aware of Kanye West's - whom Pollstar is reporting stops at Toyota Center with Lady GaGa January 22; good luck selling tickets for that one now, kiddo - past behavior at all, then you're probably surprised this article isn't longer. His habit of blurting out inappropriate, nonsensical n ... More >>

Amegy Bank, Very Concerned About The Health Of Its Employees

A ghoulish lawsuit filed against Amegy Bank just got a little, uh, ghoulisher. In February, the Chron brought us the story of Irma Johnson, who sued Amegy after finding out the bank took out a life insurance policy on her ill husband, a bank employee, in 2001. After brain surgery to partia ... More >>

The Remaining Summer Blockbusters: Who Will Win, Who Will Lose

The "official" start of summer -- two weeks' worth of upper-90 degree temps notwithstanding -- isn't until this Sunday. For Hollywood however, the summer blockbuster season kicked off in May with the release of Wolverine.In the ensuing month-and-a-half, we've had some box office successes (Star Trek ... More >>

Idol Beat: The One

Mea culpa: Yi. I typed this entire post - then accidentally closed the Mozilla Firefox window and lost everything. Let this be a lesson to every blogger out there: compose in Word. For real.Photos by Ray Mickshaw/ FoxAmerican Idol winner Kris Allen practices his "Who, me?" showbiz face. Let's not be ... More >>

Balls...Hair Balls: Bond's Five Best Henchmen

The 2008 MTV Movie Awards Turn Back the Clock

California Guitar Trio

Musican threesome go bohemian

Shrek the Third

Third time's the charmless for Shrek franchise

Shut Up, Already

Nice Pussy

A killer cat steals a wonderful movie

Heart of Gold

Neil Young charts his Greendale via "a little love and affection"

That's Better

What's to Analyze? De Niro still delights, even in a slight sequel

Fallon Fast

Saturday Night Live's prime player is rapidly outgrowing television's small screen

Fight the Powers

In Goldmember, Mike Myers's mojo is running low

Mouse Bait

Shrek plunders the Magic Kingdom for empty laughs

Art House

Gallery Sonja Roesch

Shaggy Dog

The insipid Austin Powers is a total waste

Barely Staying Alive

Why, Spy?

Austin Powers is a swingin' mess

Wayne's World 2