Subject: Miley Cyrus

• First Rodeo Performers Announced: Houston Just Can’t Get Enough Hannah

  November 5, 2007

• Drenched In Blog: Nirvana’s Unplugged on DVD

  November 20, 2007

• Giddyup!: Full RodeoHouston Lineup Announced

  January 7, 2008

• Drenched in Blog: C'mere Miley Ray…

  January 29, 2008

• Dog Abuse Bad. Cow Abuse Awesome.

  March 3, 2008

• Last Night: Hannah Montana at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo

  March 10, 2008

• Rocket, the Movie

  May 1, 2008

• Exclusive! Uncovered Vanity Fair Memo to Annie Leibovitz

  May 5, 2008

• Weekend Music: Murder on Memorial Day

  May 23, 2008

• Boycott McDonalds -- Unless You're Gay

  July 15, 2008

• An Exclusive Interview with the Astrodome

  August 10, 2008

• Welcome Back, Beyonce

  October 8, 2008

• Five Spot: "Thriller" Goes Global

  [Ed. note: Five Spot got bumped by the Latin Grammys Friday, so better late than never...] Welcome back to Five Spot. Every week, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Because it makes perfect sense, Miley Cyrus will be remaking the "Thriller" motif in her upcoming video for "Fly On The Wall" (which we will never hear but will steadfastly argue as being horrible, regardless) - except i

  November 17, 2008

• Ralph Macchio: The One and Only Karate Kid

  No, my God, NO! There is only one Daniel LaRusso and his name is Ralph “Stone Fox” Macchio! Such was my reaction when I heard word this week that Will Smith’s nauseatingly adorable son Jaden is scheduled to remake the classic 80s film The Karate Kid. Now I have nothing against Will Smith’s kid (although I do think a little nepotism must be at work here), but such news is enough to make me want to crane kick my computer (or at least drink a little sake).

  November 20, 2008

• 15-Minute Warning: Houston Lawyer Gets Miley Cyrus For His Christmas Party

  OMG!! Guess who’s going to be at Houston lawyer Mark Lanier’s Christmas party this year – Miley Cyrus! When we heard that, we were like, 2G2BT!! Lanier’s parties, which include thousands of guests and which take place on his 25-acre ranch northwest of Houston (well, at least we’re told that’s where they take place; Hair Balls has never been invited) are always a spectacle, but previous years’ entertainers smacked more of state-fair-purgatory than stadium-sellouts. For cripe�

  November 21, 2008

• Once Again, We Struggle To Identify The "Celebrities" In Houston's Thanksgiving Day Parade

  Tomorrow brings the 59th Annual Thanksgiving Day Parade in Houston.As always, it brings with it the traditional question Houstonians ask about the event each year: Who are these so-called "celebrities" that we're supposed to be so excited about?There's C-list celebs. There's D-list losers. And then there's the level of fame that sees you standing on a shaky float in the middle of godforsaken Houston on a Thanksgiving Day when you could be home with your family, or at least your posse.It's a call

  November 26, 2008

• Miley Cyrus's Successor At Houston's Most Senselessly Lavish Party? Maybe Elton John

  Texas Lawyer magazine is reporting that Mark Lanier, the lawyer who puts on an amazingly expensive Christmas party each year, will follow up Miley Cyrus with Elton John next year.The magazine's blog also notes that Lanier says his "Have A Miley Christmas" bash raised $250,000 for a charity that helps kids in Guatemala.Which is nice, but there are reports out there (and it's on the Internet, so you know it's true) that Cyrus received a million bucks for her party gig.So cut out the middle man and

  December 18, 2008

• Hitsville: The Year in Music, by the Numbers

  You don't need a half-wit music critic to tell you it's been a remarkable year for America, one historians will be discussing and researching for centuries to come. War, financial collapse, politics, technology: All have been dinner-table topics for many Americans. Racial barriers in 2008 were demolished by a Midwestern black man, and gender barriers were hurdled by an Arkansan and an Alaskan.Democracy has a few awesome new dance moves rolling into the Obama presidency, and it'll be a feast for

  December 31, 2008

• Gazing Ahead into 2009, Part 2

  [Note: see here for Rocks Off's previous prognostications.]   U2 (March) Best Case Scenario: Armed with the backing of Live Nation, they release their best album in over a decade and Bono shuts his face as they sell out Reliant Stadium in two minutes. Worst Case Scenario: The recession (finally) hits the touring industry hard; people stay home and listen to The Joshua Tree drinking beer in their garage.

  December 31, 2008

• Live Nation and Ticketmaster Near Merger

  The Wall Street Journal reported this morning that entertainment megacorp Live Nation and Ticketmaster, the world's leading ticketing agency and an important player in artist management, are in talks to merge the two companies. "The resulting firm" - called, appropriately, Live Nation Ticketmaster - "would be able to manage everything from recorded music to ticket sales and tour sponsorship," reporter Ethan Smith wrote. The deal is still subject to the approval of both the Live Na

  February 4, 2009

• Tonight: Kathryn Hallberg at Main Street Crossing

  I hate Kathryn Hallberg. I hate the fact that she is, at just 14 years of age, already a mature songwriter, guitarists, and singer of undeniable skill and exquisite appeal. I hate that her debut EP, No Surprise, produced by Harold Ruben and Kyle Hutton at Red Tree is four songs of perfect acoustic pop that expertly refuses to tread the trail of slime left in Miley Cyrus' wake. I hate how her songs show that she has seen the world's wheel roll over the butterfly of love and hope, and has onl

  February 19, 2009

• WTF Island: Jackson Five, Kid Rock, Glenn Danzig, Rock Camp and Assteroids

  Even as our economy continued to go up in flames like the Toyota Center, the carnival of WTF kept trolling along this week. It seemed that every day we saw something so asinine and foolish that we couldn't keep up. Jackson Family slavery museums, rock and roll fantasy camps, Kid Rock's new beer, "Assteriods" with Diamond Dave, and Glenn Danzig's new dating show kept WTF Island at full capacity. We found out this week that the Jackson Five's Marlon Jackson, brother of Michael, is helping to fin

  February 20, 2009

• Aftermath: The Jonas Brothers at RodeoHouston

  Photos by Mark C. AustinI didn't want to go the Jonas Brothers at the Houston Livestock and Rodeo, but I had no choice. My 10-year old granddaughter did want to go, and I owed her. For two years of the Hannah Montana craze, Jade had the wig and the poster and never missed a rerun. So every time Hannah came to town, I stood in line or got on my computer and always failed to get the tickets. Now Hannah is Miley Cyrus, and the hot ticket is the Jonas Brothers. I got two. For the record,

  March 9, 2009

• Idol Beat: The Top Ten

  Photos by Michael Becker/ Fox Michael Sarver couldn't patch Motown's soul.Man, Sarvernator! What happened? When first we met, you were so dope, flexing serious white-soul chops - minus a soul patch - and you had the sort of blue-collar backstory that seemed to make you a lock for the Top Seven or Top Eight. But it turned out that you had an Achilles heel: the audience. When you sang for the American Idol judges' panel, you were golden; when you had to get up in front of a studio audience

  March 26, 2009

• Crash Into Me: Predicting the Economy's Impact on the Music Biz

  April 16, 2009

• Leashed Lightning in Bolt

  Disney's latest toon is a starry dog story

  November 20, 2008

• Disney Channel fits Texan Demi Lovato for a glass slipper

  Wishing Upon a Star

  May 29, 2008

• Hannah from Heaven

  The Rodeo saves local parents from a winter of sulking. But what's this whole Miley Cyrus thing about, anyway?

  November 15, 2007

• Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers

  The hidden agenda of Hannah Montana

  November 8, 2007

• Idol Beat: The Top Seven Results

  Michael Becker/ Fox Bottom Feeding: Lil Rounds and Matt Giraud will likely be right back here next week.At the beginning of Wednesday's American Idol, I was pretty sure that whoever the week's lowest vote-getter was - Lil Rounds or Matt Giraud - would go home. No save for them. So when Simon Cowell announced that despite the fact that low-man-on-the-totem pole Giraud wasn't improving and had no prayer of winning Season 8 - then went and saved his bacon anyway - I was totally floored; didn

  April 16, 2009

• Turning the Screw: Slim Thug, Bun B, H.I.S.D., The Kanye, C-Murder, Jim Jones, Hot Boyz, Jaime Foxx/Miley Cyrus, Trae and More

  Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off's weekly rap post. It probably won't rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Thanks, homies. Single of the Week: "I'm Back," Slim Thug feat. Devin The Dude Wire To Wire Bun B spoke with The Source TV recently. And some guy rumored to have broken a bear's neck with his bare hands wrote a spot-on review of UGK's new album. Word up H.I.S.D., who made the front page of www.hiphopdx.com last week. Hide your camer

  April 20, 2009

• Aftermath: Yanni at Toyota Center

  Craig Hlavaty Words like pageantry, wonderment, and spectacle aren't used very much in the Aftermath lexicon. It's hard to divvy out those special labels when we are covering bleeding dudes in bondage gear half-raping each other on stage, the weekly parade of washed-up alt-rock groups making another run at the brass ring, grizzled Americana crooners, or the indie flavor of the past five minutes. Which brings us to why Aftermath found themselves sitting mere feet away from the singularly-monike

  June 15, 2009

• Twitter Ticker: Musicians Love to Overshare

  It's amazing the things that people have to say in 140 characters or less. Some take forever to update their adoring public, about their lives while others tweet like it's about to go out of style. Do they not realize everyone can read these things? And that they are, more or less, setting themselves up for being the punchline in a joke about themselves? Apparently not. Though, for the most part, things have been quiet since Michael Jackson's funeral, the twitter-verse has is always buzzing from

  July 15, 2009

• Maybe Miley Would Be Better Off Dead Like Selena, Kurt and These Others...

  In case you missed it - and if you value your immortal soul, we're sure you did - Hannah Montana star/future tell-all memoir author Miley Cyrus unveiled a newer, more "mature" look last weekend at the only venue appropriate for such things: the Teen Choice Awards. Nothing says "successful transition from 'tween idol to grown-up entertainer" like booty shorts and pole dancing, and we here at Rocks Off hope the 16-year old is prepared for the coming decades, which will likely be spent drinking ma

  August 13, 2009

• Defending the Jonas Brothers: You Got a Problem With That?

  ​We have spent days wrestling throw pillows and chain-smoking cigarettes in the sun, sweatily contemplating why it is that we can't hate the Jonas Brothers. We can honestly say this isn't some crass devil's advocate playing rock journalist devilry. We can't find a reasonable flaw in the wares they are hawking. We can also submit medical documents that we are in fact what is medically referred to as a "man," if you're curious. To reflexively hate the Jonas Brothers is a waste of time and intell

  August 14, 2009

• Take Har Mar Superstar Seriously or Not? Your Call.

  This guy has nothing on Har Mar Superstar. The R&B singer and Ron Jeremy lookalike has worked the pink-manties look for the better part of this decade. He is, after all, a self-styled lover. Fresh off his cameo as a rival roller derby coach in Whip It (and his excellent cover of "Never My Love" on the film's soundtrack), Har Mar, as we like to call him, will spend Saturday night in Houston, playing Super Happy Fun Land with Ghost Mountain, Components of the Modern Age and My Jerusalem. Har

  October 16, 2009

• Oregon Trail

  October 22, 2009

• Win A Transformers 2 DVD, And Get Ready For More Bad Movies From `80s Cartoons

  If you're a child of the '80s, you should probably come to terms with the fact that every beloved televison memory of yours is eventually going to be dragged screaming into the present day and bastardized for younger audiences. We've already seen two Transformers movies and a G.I. Joe adaptation, and a slew of other 1980s properties are reportedly in the works, proving that not only is Hollywood creatively bankrupt, they're dumber than ever. Or maybe I'm the only one who shudders at the idea of

  October 21, 2009

• More Musical Medocrity For Houston's Private Party Of The Year

  ​For those folks out there wondering if superlawyer Mark Lanier had suddenly -- after all these years -- finally developed good musical taste, you can rest assured: He hasn't.Tort King Lanier is famous for his Christmas parties, elaborate (if liquor-free) bacchanals that feature kiddie rides, top-notch food and high-priced entertainment.In the past, the acts have included Miley Cyrus, Dolly Parton, Brooks & Dunn and Reba McEntire. (Dolly and Reba have their moments, but tend to play their

  October 22, 2009

• Tween Dreams

  October 29, 2009

• Pop Rocks: Sell Me On New Moon

  ​I'm going to step away from the sarcasm for a minute and present you with an honest overture that will hopefully foster understanding and goodwill between yours truly and certain segments of the Hair Balls readership. To wit: can somebody -- anybody -- tell me what tell me what the big deal is about the whole Twilight phenomenon?The buzz about New Moon, the second movie based on the Stephanie Meyer series, has been building since before the original left theaters. It's already sold the most

  November 19, 2009