Milo Hamilton

Jim Crane? The Astros Need A Bill Veeck

It's a depressing time to be a fan of the Houston Astros. The team's bad. The starting pitchers have trouble getting through the first inning. The games aren't currently available to most of the viewing public (yesterday's free CSN Houston offering notwithstanding). The new radio team actually makes ... More >>

Astros Dismantling Continues As Color Man Deshaies Leaves for Chicago

Since 1997, the television voices of the Houston Astros, Bill Brown and Jim Deshaies, have been about as good as you can possibly get in baseball, or any sport, for that matter. Brown's dry delivery made the perfect set-up man for Deshaies's wit and insight. They pair was a match made in broadcast h ... More >>

Tonight: The End Of An Astros Era (Last Chance To See National League, Old Uniforms, Bill Brown, Etc.)

For many, the end of this year's Houston Astro season -- much like last year's Astro season -- could not come soon enough. There are only so many 100-loss campaigns even the most diehard fans can be expected to endure, after all. (In case you are keeping score at home, the Astros are 42 and a half ... More >>

25 Random Thoughts on This Upcoming Astros Season

The Astros season starts today, and since I'm always in search of a cheap and easy post, I thought I would throw out some random thoughts about the Astros heading into the season. 25. The first Astros pitcher to collect a loss will be Brett Myers when he blows a save -- that save will probably be ... More >>

Digging Around The All-But-Abandoned Astrodome

The Reliant Astrodome was -- is -- the Eighth Wonder of the World. Generations of Houston-area kids spent their days dreaming of playing on the field under that massive domed ceiling. It's one of our city's last non-NASA ties to the space program, this UFO-like structure in the middle of a modern co ... More >>

Astros' New Slogan: We Improve It Nine Different Ways

Just in case you haven't gotten Astros Fever, the team has come up with a way to infect you: a new slogan. It's ""Root. Root. Root." CAN YOU FEEL THE POWER?!?! The team says "the slogan, inspired by the song "Take Me Out To The Ballgame," will be prominently displayed on banners around and insid ... More >>

The Astros May Be Changing Their Name? My 5 Suggestions

Yesterday afternoon, Astros owner Jim Crane built up more good will with the Houston community in about eight minutes than the team on the field has in the last six years when he announced that the 2012 season will feature cheaper beer ($5 beers!), cheaper tickets and permission to bring your own f ... More >>

The Astros Lead the "Crazy Sounding Job Title" Standings; Six More to Consider

Most of you have probably been paying attention to the Houston Texans, what with them actually making the playoffs for the first time in team history. But there are other professional sports teams in this city, and one of those teams made some front-office moves last week, moves that will hopefully ... More >>

20 Things the Astros Can Do Now to Save the Season

And today's scapegoat is...​When you're the worst team in the major leagues, and when attendance is falling off, and when the only thing people want to talk about is you switching leagues so they can see the Yankees and Red Sox more often, then you're a team that has problems. Serious problem ... More >>

NFL Lockout's Next Victim -- The Texans Charity Golf Classic

Play golf with a Texan!! (Ummm, John Schriever, V-P of event management)​If there is one immutable law about the Houston sports fans, it's that we love our football. Football intrigues us unconditionally. Like pizza and sex, even bad football will get consumed (or consummated, as it were). ... More >>

The Truth About Lance Berkman's Work Ethic

Lance Berkman: Milo weighs in​Lance Berkman returns to Minute Maid Park tonight for the first time since the Astros traded him before the 2010 trade deadline. He will be wearing a St. Louis Cardinals uniform, which for an Astro fan is the equivalent of Luke Skywalker showing up at the Jedi Te ... More >>

The Drayton and Milo Show: Somewhere, Two Villages Are Missing Their Idiots

​Drayton McLane visited with Milo Hamilton during Saturday's game against the San Diego Padres. As is usual whenever Milo's in the booth, it was already impossible to know what was actually happening during the game because Milo doesn't believe in talking about the events occurring on the fie ... More >>

He's Only a Perv

Court rules video voyeur not a child pornographer

One Guy's 20 Suggestions for Improving Astros Attendance

Drayton, sex sells​The Astros have completed the new HD video screen/scoreboard, and if you thought the seasons past have been filled with earsplitting nonsense, just wait until they start playing with this new thing. Now the powers-that-be with the Astros have stated that the primary reaso ... More >>

Carlos Lee, Team Leader? Well, the Astros Have Had 25 Worse Ideas

Believe it or not, this guy's not actually running the Houston Astros​Astros Manager Brad Mills traveled to Panama last week to meet with his left fielder/first baseman/slacker Carlos Lee.  The trip was billed as a bonding mission.  And while there's nothing wrong with a manager an ... More >>

The Year In Astros Baseball: 25 Things, Including Thank God For Jennie Finch

Mrs. Casey Daigle actually made some Astros games watchable​Let's face it. The Houston Astros suck. They sucked last season. They're going to suck this season. As long as Drayton McLane and Ed Wade are involved with this team, they're going to suck. But it's the end of the year, so let's tak ... More >>

Lloyd C.A. Wells: Civil Rights Pioneer For Sportswriters Deserves Spot On Astros' Wall Of Fame

Lloyd C.A. Wells desegregated press boxes in the South​Several years ago the Houston Astros established a Media Wall of Fame, which is found in the press box. The first three honorees, Anita Martini, Gene Elston, and Neil Hohlfeld, were among the most worthy honorees that have ever been placed in ... More >>

Astros Live Down To Expectations In First Series

Photo by Aaron M. Sprecher​Three games in. Three losses down. If there's one thing to say about the Astros, they know how to play down to expectations.A still-injured Roy Oswalt had one bad inning on Opening Night, but one bad inning was all that the San Francisco Giants needed as they defeated ... More >>

Sharp-Dressed Fans

Billy Gibbons and other Houstonians share their favorite Astros memories.

10 Jobs That Are Tougher Than Jim Nantz's

Listening to Jim Rome yesterday, I learned that Jim Nantz is the toughest man in the world. Nantz is a tough bastard because, according to Rome, Nantz was able to do play-by-play for college basketball in Detroit on Monday night, fly first class to Atlanta, then head out to Augusta for The Masters ... More >>

10 Jobs That Are Tougher Than Jim Nantz's

Listening to Jim Rome yesterday, I learned that Jim Nantz is the toughest man in the world. Nantz is a tough bastard because, according to Rome, Nantz was able to do play-by-play for college basketball in Detroit on Monday night, fly first class to Atlanta, then head out to Augusta for The Masters ... More >>

10 Ways Miguel Tejada Can Do His Public Service

To: Drayton McLane From: Pam Gardner Cc: Ed Wade, Tal Smith, Cecil Cooper Re: Miguel Tejada's Community Service _____________________________________________ Mr. McLane: As you are no doubt aware, the team yesterday agreed to help Miguel Tejada, shortstop, fulfill the 100 hours of communit ... More >>

10 Ways Miguel Tejada Can Do His Public Service

To: Drayton McLane From: Pam Gardner Cc: Ed Wade, Tal Smith, Cecil Cooper Re: Miguel Tejada's Community Service _____________________________________________ Mr. McLane: As you are no doubt aware, the team yesterday agreed to help Miguel Tejada, shortstop, fulfill the 100 hours of communit ... More >>

Lonesome Onry and Mean: Good Trouble for Hayes Carll in 2008

We freely admit we are homers, as big a fans of Hayes Carll as Milo Hamilton is of the Astros, but the Press isn't the only media outlet in the country impressed by Carll's first Lost Highway album, Trouble in Mind. The album, which featured the Americana Music Association's song of the year, "She L ... More >>

Astros-Cardinals: Thanking Vincent Chase

Astros-Rays: Houston Falls Into and Then Crawls Out of Last Place

The Five Best Broadcasters in the History of Houston Sports

Spring Training: Time to Give Up the Woody Williams Experiment

Spring Training: Shea Stadium Sucks. Dave Raymond and Brett Dolan Too.

Spring Training: Meet the New ‘Stros…

This One's for You, Milo Hamilton

Why John McMullen, Not Drayton McLane, Is the Best Owner in the History of the Astros

Sports talk radio stations fight for listeners in Houston

Jock Talk

It Had to Happen Sooner or Later

The Corrections

Base Raps

Paul Wall and Chamillionaire each release Astros tributes, while rock radio churns out the cheesy montages

Encore or Bust?

Stressing about the 'Stros begins anew

Curses Again

God, Drayton and dogged Astros fans awake from another World Serious dream

Sports Afield

The Harris County-Houston Sports Authority is a parody of a public body. But who's got time for the niceties of democracy when you're trying to keep Drayton McLane happy?

Step Up to the Plate. Sucker.