Minnesota Vikings

Early Betting Lines On NFL Weeks 1 Through 16

It's always good to get in on something at the beginning, at the ground floor. In the world of sports wagering, for bettors equally long on hubris and illness (gambling is a sickness, my friends), some betting outlets realize that no time is too soon to put out lines on NFL games. The draft just en ... More >>

2013 NFL Draft, First Round: 4 Winners, 4 Losers

All right, it's Friday morning, and either you're hungover from getting destroyed by the Battle-Drink BINGO drinking card for the NFL Draft or you're mentally exhausted from sweating out all the NFL Draft prop bets I shared with you earlier this week. Either way, however shitty you feel is likely my ... More >>

Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, NFL Playoff Edition

Best bets time and after going 5-1 last week, just in time for the holidays I might add, we are all even now heading into 2013! 50-50-2! People who are into hobbies like to talk about conducting those activities under optimal conditions. Skiers enjoy skiing with four feet of powder on a sunny day. ... More >>

Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, The Mea Culpa Edition

First, with Christmas now in the books, I'd like to issue an apology. If you were paralyzed financially this holiday season, unable to buy gifts, and woefully relegated to giving your loved ones esoteric, abstract gifts like "more personal time" or crappy pieces of handmade artwork, it probably mean ... More >>

NFL Playoff Scenarios: A Guide To This Sunday

Week 17 of the NFL season is upon us this weekend, and while there are still plenty of moving (or potentially moving) parts left to be slotted, the one thing we are sure of is that in the NFC the Atlanta Falcons will have a first round bye and home field throughout the playoffs. The Texans have to ... More >>

Texans-Vikings: 4 Winners, 71,688 Losers

There were 71,688 (mostly) Texan fans in Reliant Stadium on Sunday. It's been a while since they've trudged back out to the Blue Lot feeling like they did on Sunday after the Minnesota Vikings' methodical 23-6 dismantling of the home team. The Packers game earlier this year while unacceptable was un ... More >>

Gary Kubiak Won't Be Coaching for His Job Next Week, But He Should Be

The narratives for the first two Texan losses wrote themselves, even if they weren't completely accurate. Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady are Hall of Fame quarterbacks and played extremely well. The Texans (12-3) had a few unlucky bounces on offense. The team didn't desperately need either game. None a ... More >>

Texans-Vikings: New BATTLE-DRINK Bingo Drinking Game Card, Egg Nog Edition

Well, this week's game card should be the final Battle-Drink Bingo card of the 2012 season. Assuming the Texans win this Sunday against the Vikings, that means the final game against the Colts would hold no meaning (possibly for either team), so cobbling together a Battle-Drink centered around the e ... More >>

Game Changer

Chris Kluwe is prying open America's last closet: major league sports.

Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, "Satan Hates Auburn" Edition

I was saddened on Thursday to hear of the passing of legendary college football historian and journalist Beano Cook, who passed away in his sleep at the age of 81. Back in the `80's and early `90's, before the television landscape was cluttered with literally dozens of studio shows all blending toge ... More >>

The Houston Texans Sideline Experience

(Note: I didn't know that a man had fallen to his death yesterday at Reliant Stadium until I was leaving the complex on Thursday night. ) Check out Groovehouse's spectacular slideshow from the Texans and Vikings match-up. Yesterday afternoon I had the honor of seeing a side of the Houston Texans ... More >>

Houston Texans: Some Pre-Final Preseason Game 53-Man Roster-tology!

Thursday night, the Texans' 2012 preseason wraps up with a game against the Minnesota Vikings. The game is meaningful to a couple dozen guys still battling for roster and practice squad spots (and REALLY degenerate gamblers -- seriously, final preseason game gambling is the bestiality porn of the ga ... More >>

The Mean, Evil, Bored & Ashamed Faces on 13 NFL Team Logos, Ready for Their Close-Ups

Our long national nightmare, otherwise known as the football offseason, is nearing an end. Exhibition Preseason games are in full swing, for better or worse. (If you watched all -- or even most of -- the Cowboys' 3-0 win over Oakland Monday, seek help.) Still, the appearance of the pads and unis i ... More >>

NFL Quarterback Carousel -- Assessing The Changes

It's a hard-knock life​It goes without saying that, other than "best player on NBA team regardless of position," quarterback of an NFL team is the single most influential individual position impacting results in a team sport. So imagine if one-sixth of the teams in the NBA decided to bench th ... More >>

2011 NFL Preview, Spoken In Wagering-ese

The betting window is open​I hope everyone who has had a chance to check out our Texans 2011 preview "The New Normal" has enjoyed it. Big ups to Monica Fuentes for coming up with the season-long interactive game card tracking Texans' results. You need to go check it out. If you haven't read ... More >>

Thursday NFL Free Agent Update: Is Wade Phillips Still Missing?

What's more glamorous, dude: New York or Houston?​As I type this, it's 4:36 p.m. on Thursday and the Texans' free agency activity still can be summed up as follows: 1. Backup offensive tackle Rashad Butler 2. Backup wide receiver Jacoby Jones 3. Backup Matt Leinart No cornerbacks, no safeti ... More >>

NFL -- Bob McNair's Delusion, Twitter Madness And The Weekend's Best Bets

Orange slices for the Texans!​"I wanted the team to know not only how close we think they are but how close our competitors think they are to being an outstanding team." -- Texans owner Bob McNair, presumably not being held at gunpoint nor under the influence of any drugs or alcohol What Bob ... More >>

Randy Moss: The Worst Timeshare Ever

The more things change...​"It was a rare opportunity for us to be able to take advantage of a guy that's arguably a potential Hall of Fame player, and still, I think, has pretty good tread on the tire. I don't think any of us thought this guy was going to be available." -- Brad Childress, 10/06/ ... More >>

College Football and NFL: Weekend's Best Bets (One Day Early)

Brett Favre: Readying the "elbow tendonitis" excuse?​If you're keeping score at home, it was not a pretty week for society. In no particular order, in the last seven days, the following occurred: -- Much like the self-handling of his own Johnson (and we have the pictures to prove it), Brett Favre ... More >>

Favre In Charge -- "The Media Still Sucks" Edition

Brett Favre finally wins a big game for the Jets​The mainstream sports media couldn't avoid the topic forever. Eventually, the story of Brett Favre's penis would have to be addressed. And as deafening and infuriating as the silence in Bristol and points beyond was, we knew that the only thing mo ... More >>

Randy Moss Gets Traded For Magic Beans

Randy Moss trades Brady for Favre​"I'm still in awe that I'm a part of this organization. I think that he's the kind of coach that can motivate me. He has a proven track record." -- Randy Moss on Bill Belichick the day he was acquired by the Patriots in 2007 Randy Moss and the Patriots were the ... More >>

Turning the Screw: Bun B, Z-Ro, LeBron, Prince, Ice Cube, The Kanye, Aziz Ansari, Omarion, Waka Flocka Flame (Just Read), Ja Rule and More

Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off's weekly rap post. It probably won't rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to introducingliston@gmail.com. Thanks, homies. Single of the Week: "O.G." C. Loc, Bun B and Z-Ro Wire to Wire Bun B is still leaking tracks from his non-mixtape mixtape i ... More >>

Game Time: Brett Favre Melting Down....Right On Cue

​We are inundated by so much marketing hype in this day and age. Between internet pop-up advertisements, electronic billboards, late-night infomercials, not to mention all of the traditional marketing avenues, we are promised so many things by so many people, yet rarely does it happen where you ... More >>

Game Time: NFL Conference Title Predictions...Channeling College Football

There's no two ways about it, my NFL playoff predictions have been terrible. As I outlined on Monday, I reached a point this past weekend, after going goose eggs on the first seven games, where I picked the Jets to beat the Chargers outright merely because every rational thought and shred of evide ... More >>

Game Time: Brett Favre's Record Is 1-2 This Season...Look It Up!

​"Chain of command is very important in our thing." -- Tony SopranoIn the fifth season of The Sopranos, a bunch of old-time gangsters are released from prison back into the wild of North Jersey and the greater New York City area. Feech LaManna (played beautifully by gravely voiced silver-screen ve ... More >>

Game Time: The Week In Tweets

​Maybe I'm biased because I use it all the time, but I'm going to make the bold statement that Twitter has surpassed "fad" status and that it's here to stay. Even at this point, people who don't use Twitter recognize kinda sorta how it works, and even recognize a Tweet when they see it -- "it's go ... More >>

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Hooters and Houston Texans

I'm in a Hooters in downtown Phoenix, Arizona and the Houston Texans are losing to the Oakland Raiders. And I'm the only one in the place watching the game. The requisite Redskins fans are scattered about, watching the Redskins on a majority of the TVs - really, is there any place besides Dall ... More >>

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Hooters and Houston Texans

I'm in a Hooters in downtown Phoenix, Arizona and the Houston Texans are losing to the Oakland Raiders. And I'm the only one in the place watching the game. The requisite Redskins fans are scattered about, watching the Redskins on a majority of the TVs - really, is there any place besides Dall ... More >>

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Really? That Good?

"That's as good a win as I've ever been around," Gary Kubiak said Sunday after the Texans 24-21 win over the Green Bay Packers. This probably explains why the Texans are a crappy team. Gary Kubiak was John Elway's backup on the day of The Drive, one of the greatest games in NFL playoff histor ... More >>

Texans-Ravens: Just Why Exactly Is Houston Favored to Win?

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: This One Was All Kubiak

Texans Better Watch Out for Purple Jesus

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Mike Singletary Gives the Weekend's Best Performance

John Royal's NFL Power Rankings

John Royal's NFL Power Rankings

John Royal’s NFL Season Picks

John Royal's NFL Picks, Week 14: Longest. Season. Ever.

John Royal’s NFL Picks, Week 13: Rushing More Than Ricky Williams

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week 12: Lions, Turducken and Bears...

John Royal's NFL Picks, Week 11: Andre Johnson Is Back, But Take the Saints Anyway

John Royal’s NFL Picks, Week Ten: Georgia (the Country, Not the State) Loves the Texans

Jason Friedman’s NFL Picks, Week Ten: Openly Defying the Gods Since October 2007

John Royal's NFL Picks, Week Eight: Take the Texans. That's Right. The Texans.

John Royal's NFL Picks, Week Seven: Sorry, Mario. Even If Vince Young Doesn't Play, It's Gonna Be a Tough One.

John Royal’s Pigheaded Pigskin Picks, Week Six: Loving and Hating the Cowboys

John Royal's NFL Picks, Week Four: Betting on the Houston Texans. What? Why Are You Surprised?

John Royal's NFL Picks: Week Two

Scoring the Super Bowl

NFL Films' music may be stirring, but these songs tell the real story of the big games

Pats and Cats Bring It Back

The biggest of them all returns to Houston

Viking Makeover

There's more to Viking culture than just pillaging and plundering