Mitt Romney

The 5 Dumbest West Fertilizer-Plant Explosion Conspiracy Theories On The Web

Investigators are nowhere near declaring what caused the explosion of the fertilizer factory in West April 17. Other investigators, however, have come to their own conclusions, or raised their own questions. Their own nutty, farcical, inane conclusions and questions. They are the West Truthers on ... More >>

10 of Our Favorite Parody Songs to Celebrate the Day They Became Fair Use

On this day in 1994 the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that parodies, commercial or non-commercial, do not violate copyright law. 2 Live Crew had applied for permission to parody Roy Orbinson's "Oh Pretty Woman," but were refused. They made the song anyway, and after a quarter of a million ... More >>

Alleged Election Night Domestic Assault Has Local Attorney and Obama Fan Facing Felony Charge

An alleged domestic assault on election night has a local defense attorney and marine Iraq vet facing a felony family violence charge. According to court records, David Christopher Hesse was drinking beer and watching election returns with his wife Sandra Hesse in their Clear Lake-area home on Nove ... More >>

This Week In New Houston Rap: Dante Higgins, hasHBrown, Hollywood FLOSS

It's almost Thanksgiving time. Election season has ended, and your bellies and ears are itching to pull in more new music before the end of the year. Frankly, Houston's rap contingent has been putting out mixtapes and singles to the point where if you happen to sleep one day, you might miss six of t ... More >>

Projection: Social Media Wins Big in 2012

Thanks a lot Christians, for not showing up.You disgust me.— Victoria Jackson (@vicjackshow) November 7, 2012 Amidst the pundits and the graphics and the touch screen monitors and the iPads strapped to the arms of The Daily Show's John Oliver, probably the most watched network on election ni ... More >>

A Bite Into Election Night: What the Different Parties Will Be Eating

As America is busy keeping an eye on the 2012 Presidential Election -- an election that's shaping up to be one of the closest battles for the presidency in U.S. history -- we're occupied contemplating what the people of the different parties will be munching on during Election Night (today, for thos ... More >>

Saturday: Something Wicked Festival at Sam Houston Race Park

Something Wicked Festival Sam Houston Race Park October 27, 2012 SLIDESHOW: Something Wicked Music Fest: Costumes and Crowd Shots Ultra Music Festival, Electric Daisy Carnival, Nocturnal Festival- from coast to coast and many points in between these big name EDM festivals have become a big deal. ... More >>

Nine Awful, Terrible, "What Were They Thinking?" Political Halloween Masks

You're deep into your Halloween plans, possibly distracted by the presidential race. Or possibly not. Should you combine the two and do your trick-and-treating dressed as one of the leading pols of the day? You might want to think twice about your answer. A survey of Halloween websites shows that ... More >>

Cover Story: A Clash Of Millionaires Among The Mansions Of Shadyside

I've been called a number of things throughout the course of reporting a story -- "pontificating punk" may be my personal favorite -- but something I've rarely been called is naive. Until, that is, I started working on this week's cover story, The Battle Of Remington Lane. I didn't know how danger ... More >>

Shape Shifter: A Conversation With Icon of Style Carlos Santana

National Hispanic Heritage Month is observed annually between September 15t and October 15 as a celebration of the positive cultural impact Hispanic and Latino Americans contribute to this country. This year, guitarist Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Carlos Santana was honored by Macy's as the Hispanic ... More >>

What's Beef? Houston's Wine-O Says "Happy Birthday T.I.," Doesn't Mean It

If you want to have a squabble with a rapper, you're going to need just cause. And Houston's own Wine-O believes he has all the right in the world to set his sights on T.I. Known mostly for being a feared presence on a microphone and in stature, Wine-O has come out of his own "retirement" to take a ... More >>

Doughbeezy, Chingo Bling, Niceguys Hope to Make Voting "Hip and Fun"

The election is coming, and even in such a polarizing political climate exemplified by Mitt Romney's "47 percent" remarks that dominated news about the presidential campaign last week, far too many people can't be bothered to vote. Disenfranchisement -- a $10 word that not only means you can't or ... More >>

Do You Want To Be LMFAO's Redfoo For Halloween?

I know a lot of you have barely gotten over your summer hangovers, so the mere thought of anything Halloween-related seems gross and premature, but the folks at Target don't care, so they have already rolled out their Halloween gear. And some of their Christmas stuff too, in case you wanted to get ... More >>

Thus Endeth The Republican Convention: The Best Of Our Miami Sister Paper's Coverage

Florida has survived the 2012 Republican National Convention, which perhaps should not surprise too many people because Florida has always shown a knack for surviving whatever gets thrown at it. Even if it's Clint Eastwood arguing with a chair. The RNC was in Tampa, but our sister paper Miami New ... More >>

Comment of the Day: Ted Cruz & The GOP Convention Playbook

We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula i ... More >>

RNC Hoopla: Ted Cruz Saying Stupid Things, Fitting in Just Fine

Ah, the Republican National Convention. Glitz. Glamour. Ted Cruz -- our newly-anointed Texan conservative savior -- saying really dumb things. And Christianity. Lots and lots of Christianity. But first, back to Cruz, who's scheduled to address the convention tonight. So here's the deal: This is his ... More >>

Health Department Roundup: Third Time's the Charm

If you went to public school, you probably knew at least one student who screwed up long enough to get a begrudging promotion to the next grade or the real world despite a lack of any demonstrable merit. If you're reading this on your phone while you hang out in the Jiffy Lube bathroom on the clock, ... More >>

Barbarians in the Ivory Tower

America's for-profit colleges offer education only a con man (or a congressman) could love.

GOP Senate Candidate Ted Cruz, In Fact, Rich As Sh*t

Last week, after it came out that Texas Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst is worth an astonishing $177 million and would become the third-richest member of the U.S. Senate if elected to a body that has at least 54 millionaires, there was one word local media employed to describe his competitor Ted Cruz's fina ... More >>

10 of the Most Painful Joe Biden Gaffes

Yesterday at Houston's NAACP rally, Vice President Joe Biden gave a well-received speech arguing that a Mitt Romney presidency would hurt the black community. As expected, the audience liked him a lot more than Romney, who got booed during his appearance last week for his opposition to Obamacare. Pe ... More >>

The Undocumented and Chivalry

NAACP Pledges "Strong Support" For Controversial AG Eric Holder

It was on and then off. When it was back on, it was on. Kind of. Mid-morning Tuesday, United States Attorney General Eric Holder, who had canceled his Monday appearance on account of an airplane delay, addressed the delegates of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People meeting ... More >>

Phone Yawns

Checking your cell.

America's Petro-Terrorists

Wall Street and Washington conspire to destablize the U.S. economy, one barrel of oil at a time.

What If Rick Perry Wasn't Rick Perry? He'd Be Kicking Obama's Ass, For One Thing

What if Rick Perry had never said, "Oops"? What if he could have, for Christ's sake, just remembered that he had wanted to gut the Department of Energy? What if he hadn't climbed into a tan coat and Brett Favre jeans and released that abominable Youtube video -- you know, the gay one. &nbs ... More >>

When the Sh*t Hits the Fan

Whether it's a coupon-clipping, back-to-nature guy escaping the rat race, or someone certain we're on the brink of war or a future in which Barack Obama has taken away our guns, preppers are ready. The rest of us, maybe not so much.

The World Needs Ten Gotye Remixes? Really? Aight.

Mitt Romney, bath salts, bacon sundaes, and celebrities from the '80s dropping like flies. If you haven't noticed by now, shit is rough in 2012. It could even be our very last year on this dirtball, if you listen to shoddy Mayan lore, late-night AM radio, and that one dude on the History Channel who ... More >>

Politicians Singing: Where Does Colin Powell's "Call Me Maybe" Rank?

In what was a surprising move, at least to us, former Secretary of State Colin Powell broke into a bit of this year's song of the summer, "Call Me Maybe," today on whatever CBS is calling its morning show these days. Let's just say he didn't nail it. But was it the worst stab at singing by a moder ... More >>

Crossing the Line: Welcome Back, Jim Crow

New laws in dozens of states could take out Barack Obama this fall.

Crossing The Line: Days of Rage

The U.S. Supreme Court and President Obama leave the undocumented and their allies no choice but to escalate civil disobedience.

Protecting Gay Kids

Schools are finally getting tougher on gay bullying.

Outernational Brings The Fight To House Of Blues Tonight

Coupled with dynamic rhythms that somehow flow together like streams of water, their ripped-from-the-headlines lyrics of liberation struggle had the audience literally -- at least in the case of one wild fan in a Mexican wrestling mask -- hanging from the rafters. -- Nick Turse, Village Voice Mile ... More >>

For May Day: The Nine Leaders Of The USSR, Ranked On Hotness

Tomorrow is May Day. It doesn't mean a lot in the U.S., but in many nations it's their version of Labor Day. Back in the day, when there was such a thing as the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, May Day was a big, big deal. Soviet leaders would stand on a huge stage as mighty missiles, demonstra ... More >>

Why Taking The Piss Out Of Your Most Beloved Musicians Is Healthy

A few days back I wrote a less-than-excited review of Bruce Springsteen's latest album, Wrecking Ball. The Boss' official Twitter account has been retweeting every hyperbolic 140-character superfan review of the new disc. One guy claimed that Wrecking Ball made him sob on the side of the highway for ... More >>

The Rick Perry Comeback Continues: A Shocking Update to the Chart Mitt Romney (& Abortion-Lovers) Doesn't Want You to See

The pundits have declared that there was no clear winner Super Tuesday, except for President Obama. This so-called "analysis" ignores the reality that yesterday's vote demonstrates: The Rick Perry Comeback continues to soar. We showed you the amazing chart indicating Perry's dramatic momentum afte ... More >>

The Rick Perry Comeback: The Chart Mitt Romney Doesn't Want To See

The GOP is still stumbling about, looking for someone to run against President Obama. After vastly outspending his opponent, frontrunner Mitt Romney managed to eke out a victory in his home state. And it was over an all-but-demonstrably certifiable opponent. That's not good. So the "GOP Establishm ... More >>

Last Night: Dropkick Murphys At House Of Blues

Dropkick Murphys House of Blues February 28, 2012 Check out photos of last night's sold out Dropkick Murphys show at House of Blues. Everybody's Irish at a Dropkick Murphys show. Tuesday night at House of Blues, Rocks Off saw more shamrock-festooned gear and Boston Red Sox caps than should normall ... More >>

Presented (Almost) Without Comment: Brigham Young University and Blackface

How do students at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah celebrate Black History Month? Well, mostly they don't. Obviously. There are roughly 176 African-American students out of the 30,000 kids at Mitt Romney's alma mater. (Surprisingly, one of those black students actually made it into the video ... More >>

10 Rock Stars the GOP Should Nominate for President

As the 2012 presidential race begins to heat up in earnest, Rocks Off can't help but feel that the front-runners for the Republican nomination are lacking a certain je ne sais quoi. Call it star power. Call it sex appeal. Whatever it is, these guys ain't got it. If the GOP is serious about wresti ... More >>

Zombies & Texans: This Week In Houston Rap Videos

​Ah, rappers and music videos. Some are vehicles for self-promotion, others are tools used to promote a message, a gaggle of asses or some good ol' wholesome debauchery. In the case of the Houston rap class, music videos are always eye opening glimpses into the future, either telling what a ta ... More >>

Rocks Off Picks The GOP Theme Songs

​Now that the Iowa Caucus has narrowed down the field a bit, we would like to take this opportunity to offer some advice to the remaining candidates for the Republican nomination to vie with president Obama in the November election. What you guys need is some catchy theme songs, and we have so ... More >>

Donald Trump for President: Texas's Voice Shall Be Heard

Trump 2012: He's aerodynamic!​The biggest political news of the moment isn't the Iowa caucuses, because all of us Real Amurricans already know Rick Perry is about to shock all those naysaying know-it-all Beltway elites. The big news came over the holiday weekend: An independent party supporti ... More >>

Rick Perry: Maybe "Ponzi Scheme" Isn't the Slogan to Win the White House

New poll suggests the answer is "no."​Yes, Public Policy Polling is a Democratic outfit, but nevertheless their new poll released today has some interesting tidbits. "In just three weeks Barack Obama has nearly doubled his lead over Rick Perry," said Dean Debnam, PPP president. "That would se ... More >>

Pop Rocks: The Worst Part Of Parenting? The TV Shows.

Don't believe the hype.​Being a parent is tough, especially when the kids are toddler age or thereabouts. You're basically on 24-7 suicide watch while the little hobgoblins cram everything they find into their mouths and clamber to the top of the bookshelves, while at the same time you try to ... More >>

Pop Rocks: Trump's Out -- Bridging the 2012 Asshole Gap

Now we'll never know what his currency would have looked like.​With apologies to Richard Adams: My heart has joined the Thousand. Donald Trump stopped running today: "After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the presidency," Trump announced in ... More >>

National Journal Ranks Rick Perry 11th In The 2012 Stakes

Answer: Probably not​It's never too early to begin the horse-race punditry on the 2012 presidential race, and National Journal has taken on the job. They've published their rankings of who's likely to get the GOP nod, and -- in what's good news for America but bad for Texas -- Rick Perry come ... More >>

Why won't Mexicans vote for a black man?

SPECIAL ELECTION EDICIÓN

ASK A MEXICAN: Great Illegals and Mexican Movies

Rockets-76ers: Night of the Living Dead

Pimp C Apologizes