Mortal Kombat

  • Blogs

    November 19, 2014

    The Majestic Ride of Le$'s Steak X Shrimp Vol. 1

    Oh New Houston Rap column, where did you take a complete left? Well for starters, Kim Kardashian tried to #BreaktheInternet. Then Solange got married, took a wedding photo that looked like the Final Boss fight in Knowles Mortal Kombat and that supposedly broke the Internet. Then the Smith kids, Wil ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 9, 2014

    Lee-Lonn Pens a Lustful Love Letter On Deprived EP

    MIXTAPE OF THE WEEK: Lee-Lonn, Deprived In order for you to believe Lee-Lonn Walker isn't a charming dude who could take your girl and mine (and probably your best friend's), you'd have to also believe he doesn't exist. Crazy, no? That's him, though. He doesn't have the physically imposing stature o ... More >>

  • Film

    October 2, 2014
  • Blogs

    May 21, 2014

    The Definitive Breakdown of BeatKing's Freestyles

    BeatKing is a supernatural rap being composed of blood, flesh and the mental capacity to enjoy ridiculing folks. It happens on Twitter constantly, so much so he gets escorted around like a conquering gladiator whenever he dives into one of his legendary rank sessions. Charting his career falls into ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 16, 2014

    The Seven Toughest Pop Songs to Understand

    Recently, Rocks Off looked at the most difficult song lyrics to understand in all of music, period. While that was fun, my editor brought it to my attention that virtually all of modern death-metal could qualify for that list. Since the advent of screaming, including metal in a list like that is lik ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 14, 2014

    Houston's Top 10 First-Date Bars

    As our sister blog Eating...Our Words does, from time to time Rocks Off will be giving your our picks for the top taverns in various Houston-area neighborhoods. Of course, the lines can be porous, but here anything with a TABC license that cannot reasonably be considered either a restaurant, coffeeh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2014

    The Best YouTube Videos, as Rated By a Six-Year-Old

    Note: In his weekly column, Houston's award-winning writer and goofball Shea Serrano, recent co-author of Bun B's Rapper Coloring and Activity Book, writes about his life and times. Late last month Houston was properly pummeled by Meltankos (Norse God of Ice, obviously). A nasty frost forced the cl ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 27, 2014

    Famous Rappers, as Drawn By Six-Year-Old Boys

    Note: In his column Serrano Time, Houston's award-winning writer and goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times. I am working on a new book. I cannot say too much about it yet, other than: 1. it's with the same company that published Bun B's Rap Coloring And Activity Book. 2. it will ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 29, 2013

    Brrr! The 10 Skimpiest Costumes at Something Wicked

    What is it about EDM that compels folks to walk around in their unmentionables? Houston's second annual Halloween EDM festival, Something Wicked, took place over the weekend at Sam Houston Race Park, and boy did we ever get an eyeful. Both guys and gals chose to suffer through the somewhat chilly n ... More >>

  • Music

    September 26, 2013

    Sigh No More

    Mumford & Sons finally played America's fourth-largest city September 17.

  • Blogs

    September 19, 2013

    Depeche Mode at Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion, 9/18/2013

    Depeche Mode Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion September 18, 2013 People talk about how improbable it is that Keith Richards is still alive to tour with the Rolling Stones, but for a time there in the mid-'90s, it seemed equally unlikely Depeche Mode would ever hit the road again. Singer Dave Gahan s ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 19, 2013

    True Blood: Imagine Dragons... I Don't Get It

    Alan Ball was known for his masterful use of music in Six Feet Under. He's lost none of his touch when it comes to his current HBO series, True Blood -- which happens to be set in the Louisiana swamps, not terribly far from Houston. Much thanks to, who has offered to help us with trac ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 26, 2013

    Houston's Top 10 Bro Bars, Clubs & Ice Houses

    As our sister blog Eating...Our Words does, from time to time Rocks Off will be giving your our picks for the top taverns in various Houston-area neighborhoods. Of course, the lines can be porous, but here anything with a TABC license that cannot reasonably be considered either a restaurant, coffeeh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 3, 2013

    Video Girl: Can Bun B Please Be In More Movies?

    Saturday nights at the Caldwell residence usually revolve around people being asleep or watching TV until ungodly hours of the morning. It's a routine, there's levels to it, and if we're not talking about watching SportsCenter past 1 a.m., we're talking about watching whatever is on Netflix. Take t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 17, 2013

    Top Five Totally Legit Porn-Star Music Videos

    So apparently actor Jonah Falcon is packin' heat in his pants. No, we're not talking about the kind of heat that the NRA and Ted Nugent endorse -- this is not that kind of blog. We mean packing heat in more of a "huge cock" kind of way. Unfortunately for Falcon, his 13.5 inches of man-meat can be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 26, 2013

    Ninjas From Texas: San Antonio Metal Crew Sells "Sex, Drugs and Mopeds"

    It's a well-known fact that most band names are essentially gobbledygook, but here at Rocks Off we're doing out best to make sense of the oddest monikers. Ninjas From Texas is a metal/hardcore act out of San Antonio. It's the sort of music that makes me sad there are no good Van Damme movies anymor ... More >>

  • Film

    September 6, 2012

    Paul W.S. Anderson's Fun, Frenetic Filmmaking

    Resident Evil: Retribution director is now an industry titan.

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2012

    No Capes! The Gothic Council Has Spoken

    There's an unfortunate stage that most goths go through. I call it the Capetarded Stage, and yes, it involves wearing an actual vampire cape. Why do we do it? I don't know. I guess it has a lot to do with going a bit overboard when you begin the darksome melodrama that makes up most of being goth. ... More >>

  • Music

    April 5, 2012

    Getting Thumped

    The bass line is everything in dubstep, whose core moves like robo-elephants, stomping and booming along.

  • Blogs

    March 20, 2012

    A Showcase Of Silly Industrial Dancing

    In addition to our job duties as in-house bartender and beard hygienist, we're Houston Press' resident goth music expert, and industrial music falls under our purview because of that. It's sort of like how Joshua Norton got to be Emperor of the United States, but he also had to take on Protector of ... More >>

  • News

    January 5, 2012

    The 2011 Houston Press Crimes of the Year

    From a fake vampire to a getaway guy in a wheelchair, a defendant peeing in court to a cop-car backseat blow job, it's been a wild year.

  • News

    December 29, 2011

    The 2011 Houston Press Crimes of the Year

    From a fake vampire to a getaway guy in a wheelchair, a defendant peeing in court to a cop-car backseat blow job, it's been a wild year.

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2011

    Getting Nostalgic, Sort of, at Barcadia

    You should try gambling on skee ball. It's addictive. ​Tuesday at Barcadia used to be the special free-play day when the Midtown location of the bar/kitchen/arcade chain first opened. Now everything is set on free play daily - everything that works, at least. (Currently, there's no Galaga, no ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 2, 2011

    Rap's Mortal Kombat: Why Red Bull's Battle Is Better Than Black Star

    ​This coming Thursday, the same day that Black Star performs at House of Blues, the Red Bull EmSee Freestyle Battle will come stomping into Warehouse Live. Six immediate reasons why you should go to the latter instead: Bun B will host (trill awesome), Trae will perform (deadly awesome), ESG ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 19, 2011

    Rel The Chosen Creates More Beautiful Music

    ​Back in late January, Rocks Off introduced you to Houston underground MC Rel The Chosen, a highly lyrical individual who favors soulful beats. Here's the Reader's Digest version of what we wrote about his debut project, Beautiful Music, nearly seven months ago: "Calling it Beautiful Music ... More >>

  • Culture

    June 16, 2011

    Hover Boards

    Air hockey's appeal has outlasted the space program that inspired it.

  • News

    May 5, 2011

    Sex Dolls & Texans

    The men who love pseudo-women

  • News

    April 28, 2011

    Doing Time, Wrongly

    Finally, a chat with our cover subject.

  • Blogs

    January 27, 2011

    Which Video Game Characters Do Rappers Idolize?

    The hip-hop world is a less than sensible place - lots of times, you're even required to clarify when bad means bad and when bad means good - so once a week we're going to get with a rapper and ask them to explain things. Have something you always wanted to ask a rapper? Email it to sheaserrano@gma ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 3, 2011

    Last Night: Kickback Sunday At SF2 Premium Clothing

    Sunday's eventual winner Dough Beezy (left) and Mr. Rogers​Kickback Sunday SF2 Premium Clothing (215 Greens Rd.) January 2, 2010 7:59 p.m.: As a good a job as you like to think you're doing as a parent, know that it's never good enough. For example, we don't cuss, smoke or drink in front of o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 17, 2010

    Openings & Closings

    Photos by Brittanie SheyLate Night Pie takes a dirt nap...again.​As they seem wont to do nearly every year or so, Late Nite Pie (302 Tuam, 713-529-5522) has shut down once again. Boarded up windows and a sign indicating that the restaurant has been closed for non-payment of rent greeted diners ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 10, 2010

    Wu-Tang Clan's Best Pop-Culture References

    ​Rocks Off can't rightfully remember the last time the whole Wu-Tang Clan was ever in Houston, if they ever have been. For some reason, we keep wanting to think they came once with Rage Against The Machine around 1997. In 2007, they came to Dallas on the Rock The Bells summer tour with Nas, Ta ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 19, 2010

    This Week in Deliciousness

    Photo by FuriousGeorge81You don't want to be the lone voice of reason in a gummi war. It's just too dangerous.​Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we've already rounded up all of our Thanksgiving turkeys and are just waiting to hear from their families about the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 24, 2009

    YouTube Commercial for Westheimer Block Party March 28

    This hilarious clip features cameos by John F. Kennedy, Barack Obama, the cast of Mortal Kombat (the video game, not the awful movie), a bunch of low-riders and some bangin' techno beats. Thanks to our pals at Free Press Houston. You know, the more Rocks Off thinks about it - remember, that's M ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 7, 2006

    My Kid Is a Ten-Year-Old Curmudgeon

    Courtesy of The Family Lomax Really, does this look like the face of a tough-as-nails critic? And now, HouStoned presents our newest critic named Lomax, and it ain't John Nova. Be sure to send him some love in the Comments section. I've heard it said and read on various message boards that I a ... More >>