NFC East

  • Blogs

    October 6, 2014

    Cowboys 20, Texans 17: 4 Winners, 4 Losers

    Well, it's been a while since we had a game like that to invest in here in Houston. No, I'm not talking about a mere loss by our NFL team. We had 14 of those last season, and already had one a couple weeks ago against the Giants. I'm talking about a gut punch loss, where the emotional investment we ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 2, 2014

    2002 Houston Texans Made Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Cry (w/ AUDIO)

    It's finally here! Cowboys and Texans! HELL WEEK! Because of the very methodical, easily forecast manner in which the NFL formulates its schedule (we literally know whom the Texans are playing and where they're playing in 14 of their 16 games from now until the next time the league expands or reali ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 1, 2014

    The Texans' Toughest Opponent May Be Under Their Feet

    With about three minutes to go in the first half of the season opener between the Houston Texans and Washington Redskins, the Redskins faced a daunting third down and 16 yards to go. The sellout crowd in NRG Stadium was already abuzz from DeAndre Hopkins's 76-yard touchdown just minutes before, wh ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 26, 2014

    NFL: This Weekend's Best Bets

    Last weekend was an amazing bounce back weekend for me. After back to back 2-4 stinkers, the doubters began creeping out of the woodwork again. Actually, to say they crept out of the woodwork would imply they were hiding and then being somewhat subtle about their lack of faith in my prognosticating ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 22, 2014

    Giants 30, Texans 17: 4 Winners, 4 Losers

    So I guess the Texans aren't going undefeated. Damn. Through the first three weeks of the season, it's readily apparent that Bill O'Brien and his staff have made some headway in fixing some of what ailed this team in 2013. However, after Sunday's 30-17 loss to the New York Giants, it's equally appa ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 2, 2014

    Five NFL Season Win Total Bets You Should Invest In

    Two days away from the start of the NFL season, and I'm getting all my ducks in a row for kickoff Thursday night. I have the Texans schedule loaded in my calendar so I know exactly how many Sundays I'll have to watch a total menu of other teams' games during the season. (Total? Three. October 12 af ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 19, 2014

    If Bands Sponsored NFL Teams: The NFC

    Recently we wrote about the ramifications of KISS and Vince Neil buying their own Arena Football League teams and what it would be like if NFL teams were also themed around bands and musicians. We started by running down the AFC, including our hometown Houston Texans. This time we're going to exami ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2014

    What if Texas Split Into Separate States Like California is Proposing?

    Apparently, the folks in California have done lost it. There is a ballot initiative being circulated that would divide the Golden State up into six separate states, increasing the United States to 55 states in the process. The proponent of this plan is some venture capitalist who really just wants t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 18, 2014

    Washington Redskins Lose Trademark (Forever, Hopefully)

    Imagine if someone wanted to name their professional sports franchise the Washington White Guys. Or the Washington Black Men. People might take offense to that. The U.S. Patent Office would; it made that clear in its Wednesday ruling on the NFL's Washington Redskins' name. The office said the team' ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 31, 2014

    J-Dawg and Propain at Warehouse Live, 3/30/2014

    J-Dawg, Propain Warehouse Live March 30, 2014 Dallas can be a nice place to visit sometimes, especially in the springtime. The air is a little fresher up north, and the allergens a little less intense. After a few days spent relaxing and grilling outdoors with a few friends and family in Big D, tho ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 19, 2013

    Who Joins Kubiak On The (Get Paid Lots Of Severance) Bread Line

    Sometime within the next several weeks, the Texans will be hiring a new head coach, and when they do, that will be a happy day for whoever that person is. (Hopefully, it's a happy day for the Texans' fan base, too.) Years will go by, and that coach will likely experience some success and some failu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 22, 2013

    This Weekend's Best Bets: Brooke Hogan's Engagement To Dallas Cowboy Crumbles

    If there has been one subtle development in the world of wagering that has been a true godsend (because God doesn't have enough on his plate, He must send things to degenerate gamblers), it's been the addition of non-sports wagers to the various betting windows (actual and online) around the world. ... More >>

  • Film

    October 3, 2013

    Parkland Can't Quite Honor Life After JFK

    The film on the momentous event fails to rise to the occasion.

  • Blogs

    October 1, 2013

    Cowboy And Charger Fans Take Turns Breaking Bottles Over Each Other's Heads (w/ VIDEO)

    Over the last couple seasons, I'm very fortunate in that I've had the chance to frequent some of the away venues and cities on the Houston Texans' schedule. Last season, I made road trips to both Chicago and New England. A couple seasons ago, it was Indianapolis. This weekend, it'll be San Francisco ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 13, 2013

    More is More: Texans Set to Unveil Gargantuan Video Board at Reliant Stadium

    Let's dispense with the "bigger in Texas" jokes right off the bat. Also, no "size matters" quips if you please. The Rockets installed a massive video board inside Toyota Center before last season. If you were wondering just how big it is, imagine installing a 60-inch flat screen in your bathroom t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 17, 2013

    Investigating Food In Film: Crabby Snacks and Homemades

    Photo from mamashighstrung.comCrabby Snacks from Silver Linings PlaybookIt's little surprise many famous movie scenes involve food; there's a certain pleasure in watching characters eat the foods we enjoy in real life or grapple with familiar challenges of cooking, say, lobsters. But have you ever ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 8, 2013

    Early Betting Lines On NFL Weeks 1 Through 16

    It's always good to get in on something at the beginning, at the ground floor. In the world of sports wagering, for bettors equally long on hubris and illness (gambling is a sickness, my friends), some betting outlets realize that no time is too soon to put out lines on NFL games. The draft just en ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 1, 2013

    Comparing Tony Romo's New Deal To Matt Schaub's: The QB Contract Conundrum

    Quarterback problems. They're like everyday relationships.They take on different flavors and magnitudes, but pretty much every NFL city has them. Some are theoretically good problems to have: New England's restructuring Tom Brady's contract to open up more salary cap space, Green Bay's commencing ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 17, 2013

    Chip Kelly Heading To The NFL: 4 Winners, 4 Losers (w/ PDF Link To Will Lyles' Hilarious Recruiting Reports)

    "It's a special place with special people. They accepted me six years ago when I was at New Hampshire. Not many people knew about me. Gave me an opportunity to come here. It really means a lot." -- Former Oregon head football coach Chip Kelly about three weeks ago A lot, but apparently not everythi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 28, 2012

    Week 12 Highlights of FFL (Fan Fighting League): Giant-On-Packer Violence Zapruder Analysis

    As I take a break from the Aggies inundating my email inbox and Twitter timeline on the heels of my playful Johnny Manziel teleconference recap on Monday, let's take a hard left turn and hit on a sport that we haven't discussed here in quite some time -- Fan Fighting! Perhaps spectators at major sp ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 2, 2012

    A Tale of Two Lances

    In November of 1970, Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Lance Rentzel had it all. Back in college, at the University of Oklahoma, Rentzel had been a star running back. Under coach Bud Wilkinson, Rentzel never lost a single game in three years of competing for the Sooners teams, and in 1965, his senior y ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 28, 2012

    Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, "Roger Goodell Is Better Than FEMA" Edition

    So how bad was the controversial ending of Monday night's Seahawks-Packers game for the NFL? Well, consider that the story got coverage on every major national news show Tuesday morning, was the subject of a David Letterman Top 10 list, and prompted President Obama to comment publicly on the topic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 21, 2012

    Joe Nick Patoski Slam-Dunks Dallas Cowboys Tome

    If there is one reason Joe Nick Patoski's books -- biographies of Selena, Stevie Ray Vaughan, and Willie Nelson -- are so good, it is his ability as a storyteller. Any decent reporter can sift news clippings and videos or interview the participants, but Patoski's style and organization turn what cou ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 18, 2012

    John Shango: 14 Quotes From A Certifiably Insane Dallas Cowboys Fanboy Video

    Since the advent of the internet, more specifically YouTube and social media, as a means for virtually anyone with a laptop and a nearby wi-fi connection to convey his or her thoughts, it seems as though the best way to get noticed is to perform the following sequence: 1. Scream your thoughts as l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 19, 2012

    Comment of the Day: Dez Bryant 9-1-1 Edition

    We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it's time we paid some damn attention to them. So we'll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning or afternoon from the previous day's work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula i ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 9, 2012

    Hofmann Sausage Co: Texas Is About to Get Real ... Hotdogs! If You Live in Dallas Can You Bring Me Some?

    So if you are from Upstate New York (like me), and if you love hot dogs (like me), and you live in Texas (like me), then you probably really, really miss Hofmann hot dogs. Like me. Because when I tell you I miss Hofmann hot dogs, I mean that I miss them super-duper terribly, especially when holidays ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2012

    Football! Six Prop Bets and My Super Bowl XLVI Pick (Includes Video Analysis of Kelly Clarkson Anthem-Singing)

    Finally, the Super Bowl is upon us, and when you head out to that neighborhood party this Sunday, you may need some fabricated incentive to have a rooting interest in the game. I get that. Sure, you can do it the ultra-lame way by buying a couple squares for five bucks and hoping that you randomly ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 30, 2012

    The Really Important Questions to Answer for the Super Bowl

    So it's Super Bowl week. This game featuring a rematch between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots. There will be a lot of story lines, real and imagined, developed and discussed before and during the game on Sunday. Like, for instance, the 25 mentioned below. 25. Tim Tebow because ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 12, 2012

    Texans, Saints, Tebow and Eli! This Weekend's NFL Playoff Best Bets

    The scarcity of games on these NFL playoff weekends is a huge reason why wagering in the postseason can be a death trap of second-guessing for me. Fewer games on the board means there's way more time to focus (and, frankly, OVER-focus if there is such a thing) on the scant few games being played. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 23, 2011

    Merry Christmas! This Weekend's Football Best Bets

    Santa's offering up some money-line action​Before I get into this weekend's best bets, a couple paragraphs on the Texans' 19-16 loss to the Colts last night: Was that officiating crew terrible last night? Yes. But good lord, I've never seen a bigger bunch of whiny babies than Texan fans last ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 19, 2011

    Seven People Nearly Killed by Runaway Cart at Cowboys Stadium (w/ CRAZY Video)

    Rise of the machine.​There are certain buildings in sports that are seemingly jinxed. Since the Red Sox finally got off the World Series schneid a few years back, Wrigley Field immediately comes to mind as the current titleholder for "bad luck mecca" as the Cubs haven't made a World Series in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 1, 2011

    Dallas Makes a Damn Fool of Itself on Top Chef: Texas

    ​Thoughts: Is it really a "Healthy Choice" when so many of your frozen dinners are laden with preservatives and other chemicals? With that, we're hitting the road to Dallas, better known these days as a "dining nowhereville." Great choice, Bravo! Enjoy that! "When I think of Dallas, I think of t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 21, 2011

    NFL Tells Teams They Better Stop Diving (w/ VIDEO)

    Coming to the NFL​I never played professional (or college...or high school...) football, but as a fan of the game and as someone who covers it as my job, it would seem to me that faking an injury is about the most cowardly thing you can do. I bring this up because in the Monday night game a c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 19, 2011

    Former Texan QB Rex Grossman Declares Himself The Starter For A Team He's Not Signed With

    He's not called the Sex Cannon for nothing​Let me preface what I'm about to say by saying that I like Rex Grossman. Kind of like pizza or midgets, he's always struck me as a clear "any time you add him to the current scenario, the atmosphere improves" kind of guy -- as long as the "current sc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 8, 2011

    From Bad to Worse: Dallas Gives Michael Vick a Key to the City

    Dallas honors Michael Vick, for some unfathomable reason​It has not been an easy week for the city of Dallas. It started with a "once in twenty years"-ish, weeklong snow and ice storm during the one week that Dallas could least afford a snow and ice storm. It continued with sheets of said ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 10, 2010

    The Dallas Cowboys' Monster.Com Listing For A New Coach

    Apply at Valley Ranch​Can you do better than a 1-7 record with a team of high-priced, high-profile players? Then the Dallas Cowboys coaching job may be for you!! The Cowboys offer a beautiful training facility in suburban Dallas where no one has been horribly injured in a wind storm in well o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 4, 2010

    Dallas Cowboys' Latest Distraction Gimmick: Lap Dances

    Shoulda put this on the giant hi-def​What is it with Dallas football fans that makes a monstrosity of a football stadium want them to have public sex?First it was the boffing on the bathroom stalls. Now it's the front-row lap dance.This woman, obviously bored with whatever ass-kicking the Cowboys ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 6, 2010

    Five Memorable Athlete-Musician Hookups

    ​In a few hours, Carrie Underwood will be onstage at Toyota Center. Besides being an all-around American girl who will mess you up if you cheat on her, Underwood once dated Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and married Mike Fisher of the Ottawa Senators back in July. That's right, a hockey ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2010

    Rappers Talk Trash Before And After Cowboys-Texans Debacle

    Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn't a national holiday Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray​This Week's Panel: Fat Tony, Kyle Hubbard, Brad Gilmore, John Dew, Fr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 24, 2010

    Texans-Cowboys: Five Things To Watch (Actual Football Analysis)

    And the prediction is.....​The Texans are 60 minutes from reaching their highest point in franchise history.For a team with as short a history as the Texans, it's easy to be overly dramatic and lose perspective. Yet on this particular Sunday, the game truly is that important.A win over the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 24, 2010

    Houston Texans -- F the Cowboys (or #FDACOWBOYS on Twitter)

    cutline​Not long ago, I got into a brief discussion on Twitter with another radio personality whom I am forbidden to name whose name I don't exactly recall. I don't remember the crux of the tweet-versation (something having to do with blogs and the inherent evil that blogs possess to anyone over ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 23, 2010

    The Five Worst Musical NFL Players Reign, or "God's Revenge"​Professional football players dabbling in music? What could possibly go wrong? Glad you asked. You did ask, right? 5. Ben Utecht, Cincinnati Bengals Ben Utecht suffered a concussion while working out with the Cincinnati Bengals and decide ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 23, 2010

    The Ten Worst Songs About Cowboys

    ​Sunday at noon, the Dallas Cowboys and our own Houston Texans face off at Reliant Stadium. The Texans are 2-0 and the Cowboys have not won one game at all this year. The Texans have won two games, and the Cowboys do not have any wins. At all. Understandably, spirits are high this week on bo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 21, 2010

    Five Best Dallas Cowboys Arrests, Many Of Them Sexually Related

    Lance Rentzel, with his pants on​It's Cowboys Week. Just like in Green Bay, where Bears Week is always noted on the calendar, the days leading up to Sunday's game at Reliant Stadium deserve a capital W.Of course, we should be taking pity on the Cowboys. They are, after all, coached by Wade Phillip ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2010

    Game Time: Football -- This Season's First Round of Best Bets

    Oregon Ducks: Ignore the uniforms and jump onboard​Okay, it's the first officially great football weekend of the season (loaded college slate plus first weekend of NFL).Last weekend's college slate was sort of like a "soft" opening for a new restaurant, working out the kinks in anticipation of the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2010

    Rick Perry Chides Redskins Fans, And Is Actually Kind Of Funny Doing So

    Rick Perry mocks you, effectively​Governor Rick Perry has never exactly come across as someone with a good sense of humor, unless you like tired jabs involving things like "hot air" and "Washington."But either he's gotten funnier or (more likely) his staff has stepped up. Because Perry has issued ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 30, 2010

    GAME TIME: Texans-Cowboys -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

    Photo by Marco TorresYour face-painting will be in vain!​It's the preseason and we must remember that the Dallas Cowboys are making a return trip to Reliant Stadium in about a month, so let's not get crazy over what the Texans' 23-7 manhandling of the Cowboys on Saturday night means in the big pic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 10, 2010

    License Plate Auction: The Bidding For World's Dumbest Texan Will Open Soon

    Vanity plates, thy name is Texas​Ever since the state privatized its vanity license plate business a while back, the company that's taken it over has gotten more and more creative.They greatly expanded the variety of plates you could grossly overpay for, and offered a groovy online app where you c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 23, 2009

    Michael Irvin Brings Dallas Cowboys Reality Show to Spike TV

    Are you a Dallas Cowboys fan? Are you disappointed with the way the season ended? Do you think that the problem might have a little something to do with head coach Wade Phillips? Or offensive coordinator Jason Garrett? Perhaps you're like Troy Aikman who thinks the problem is that Tony Romo spen ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 5, 2006


    The holidays are a special time for family and friends to come together in a show of magical unity and optimism. The whole human race becomes as one with a sense of childlike wonderment and admiration for all fellow men. But for a few musician dirt bags, it's a time to whore out their wares for holi ... More >>

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