Subject:

NFC East

  • Blogs

    May 11, 2012

    The Betting Lines on the First 15 Texans Games Are Here!

    Think you have a pretty good idea on how your favorite NFL team will do this upcoming season? More importantly, does your "pretty good idea" differ drastically from the super-early predictions the experts have forecasted for your squad? If so, the gambling gods have given themselves you another way ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 9, 2012

    Hofmann Sausage Co: Texas Is About to Get Real ... Hotdogs! If You Live in Dallas Can You Bring Me Some?

    So if you are from Upstate New York (like me), and if you love hot dogs (like me), and you live in Texas (like me), then you probably really, really miss Hofmann hot dogs. Like me. Because when I tell you I miss Hofmann hot dogs, I mean that I miss them super-duper terribly, especially when holidays ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 19, 2012

    The 2012 NFL Schedule Is Here! The 2012 NFL Schedule Is Here!

    In the timeless Steve Martin comedy The Jerk, there's a famous scene where Martin's character Navin R. Johnson sprints across the parking lot to snag a copy of the new phone book to confirm that, indeed, his name and phone number are included. When he is able to find his name he screams that inclus ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 5, 2012

    The Hair Balls Super Bowl Live Blog: Remember To Piss

    In some alternate universe, the streets of Houston are currently bathed in Miller Lite, Reliant Stadium and every bar in town is a watch party, with even the homeless folks are wearing soiled Texans jerseys. But alas, our Houston Texans only made it into the second round of the playoffs, and here we ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 3, 2012

    Football! Six Prop Bets and My Super Bowl XLVI Pick (Includes Video Analysis of Kelly Clarkson Anthem-Singing)

    Finally, the Super Bowl is upon us, and when you head out to that neighborhood party this Sunday, you may need some fabricated incentive to have a rooting interest in the game. I get that. Sure, you can do it the ultra-lame way by buying a couple squares for five bucks and hoping that you randomly ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 2, 2012

    SUPER BOWL STORY LINE ALERT! Jason Pierre-Paul Talked Mad Trash About Tom Brady!

    So here we are, it's Thursday of Super Bowl week and we've had almost nothing to dig our teeth into from a story line perspective. I warned you earlier this week that it would be this way. Hell, when news came down today that Rob Gronkowski would be a gametime decision because of his high ankle sp ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 30, 2012

    The Really Important Questions to Answer for the Super Bowl

    So it's Super Bowl week. This game featuring a rematch between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots. There will be a lot of story lines, real and imagined, developed and discussed before and during the game on Sunday. Like, for instance, the 25 mentioned below. 25. Tim Tebow because ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 20, 2012

    Football! AFC and NFC Title Game Best Bets!

    You can't spell "elite" without E-L-I. Really, you can't​We interrupt this Texans-grieving for an update on the Alabama tea bagger and my AFC and NFC title game picks! (I'm pretty sure when my parents sent me off to college, they didn't think I'd be typing that sentence in my job.) The main c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 12, 2012

    Texans, Saints, Tebow and Eli! This Weekend's NFL Playoff Best Bets

    The scarcity of games on these NFL playoff weekends is a huge reason why wagering in the postseason can be a death trap of second-guessing for me. Fewer games on the board means there's way more time to focus (and, frankly, OVER-focus if there is such a thing) on the scant few games being played. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 27, 2011

    Jets Fan Pooch-Punts Giants Fan's Skull (w/ VIDEO and Zapruder-Like Analysis)

    Spending Christmas Eve in the emergency room, whether as a patient or a loved one of a patient, is no fun. Trust me, I've had to do it twice. Back in 2000, my son Sammy was only six months old and had to go to the emergency room and stay in the hospital overnight for some sort of breathing deal. ( ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 23, 2011

    Merry Christmas! This Weekend's Football Best Bets

    Santa's offering up some money-line action​Before I get into this weekend's best bets, a couple paragraphs on the Texans' 19-16 loss to the Colts last night: Was that officiating crew terrible last night? Yes. But good lord, I've never seen a bigger bunch of whiny babies than Texan fans last ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 19, 2011

    Seven People Nearly Killed by Runaway Cart at Cowboys Stadium (w/ CRAZY Video)

    Rise of the machine.​There are certain buildings in sports that are seemingly jinxed. Since the Red Sox finally got off the World Series schneid a few years back, Wrigley Field immediately comes to mind as the current titleholder for "bad luck mecca" as the Cubs haven't made a World Series in ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 1, 2011

    Dallas Makes a Damn Fool of Itself on Top Chef: Texas

    ​Thoughts: Is it really a "Healthy Choice" when so many of your frozen dinners are laden with preservatives and other chemicals? With that, we're hitting the road to Dallas, better known these days as a "dining nowhereville." Great choice, Bravo! Enjoy that! "When I think of Dallas, I think of t ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 19, 2011

    NFL Quarterback Carousel -- Assessing The Changes

    It's a hard-knock life​It goes without saying that, other than "best player on NBA team regardless of position," quarterback of an NFL team is the single most influential individual position impacting results in a team sport. So imagine if one-sixth of the teams in the NBA decided to bench th ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 21, 2011

    NFL Tells Teams They Better Stop Diving (w/ VIDEO)

    Coming to the NFL​I never played professional (or college...or high school...) football, but as a fan of the game and as someone who covers it as my job, it would seem to me that faking an injury is about the most cowardly thing you can do. I bring this up because in the Monday night game a c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 8, 2011

    2011 NFL Preview, Spoken In Wagering-ese

    The betting window is open​I hope everyone who has had a chance to check out our Texans 2011 preview "The New Normal" has enjoyed it. Big ups to Monica Fuentes for coming up with the season-long interactive game card tracking Texans' results. You need to go check it out. If you haven't read ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2011

    Food Fight: Store Brand Pretzels

    Photos by Matthew DresdenStore brand pretzels from Whole Foods (left) and Trader Joe's (right)​As my friend Sara Dickerman wrote in 2007 in a fascinating piece in Slate, pretzels don't get much love in the snack-food world. When was the last time you saw a television commercial for pretzels? D ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 9, 2011

    Pop Rocks: Twilight vs. Harry Potter And 9 Other Geek Throwdowns

    Still the only crossover I'd pay to see.​Anyone watch the MTV Movie Awards? Anyone? I didn't think so, mostly because I suspect the majority of Hair Balls/Art Attack readers are over the age of 12. And while I have no intention of revisiting the whole "'Music?"Television line of jokes, I did ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 19, 2011

    Former Texan QB Rex Grossman Declares Himself The Starter For A Team He's Not Signed With

    He's not called the Sex Cannon for nothing​Let me preface what I'm about to say by saying that I like Rex Grossman. Kind of like pizza or midgets, he's always struck me as a clear "any time you add him to the current scenario, the atmosphere improves" kind of guy -- as long as the "current sc ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 31, 2011

    For The Final Four: 9 Musicians Who Love College Sports

    ​After weeks of anticipation and preemptory hand-wringing over where we're going to park on Washington Ave. this weekend, the Final Four is Finally here. As with any other time a marquee sporting event comes to Houston, you can count on some familiar themes in media coverage: Where to party, w ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 8, 2011

    From Bad to Worse: Dallas Gives Michael Vick a Key to the City

    Dallas honors Michael Vick, for some unfathomable reason​It has not been an easy week for the city of Dallas. It started with a "once in twenty years"-ish, weeklong snow and ice storm during the one week that Dallas could least afford a snow and ice storm. It continued with sheets of said ... More >>

  • News

    February 3, 2011

    Jerry's Time to Shine

    Speaking truth about Super Bowl XXXVIII.

  • Blogs

    December 3, 2010

    Eagles 34, Texans 24: Defense Routinely Awful, But Schaub Also Misses Opportunities

    Matt Schaub: Questions continue to increase​The questions have long been answered as to whether Gary Kubiak is a championship-level coach and if the Texans defense is even at an NCAA-championship level. (No.) After Thursday night, however, another question may need to be asked. Is Matt Schaub ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 11, 2010

    Four Lessons Bob McNair Can Learn From Jerry Jones

    Hang with Vegas skanks, McNair, not former presidents​The week started with my begging Texans owner Bob McNair. It continued with my criticizing him. But I hate being that guy. You know the guy I'm talking about -- the guy who is constantly pointing out the flaws in others and the shortcomi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 10, 2010

    The Dallas Cowboys' Monster.Com Listing For A New Coach

    Apply at Valley Ranch​Can you do better than a 1-7 record with a team of high-priced, high-profile players? Then the Dallas Cowboys coaching job may be for you!! The Cowboys offer a beautiful training facility in suburban Dallas where no one has been horribly injured in a wind storm in well o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 8, 2010

    Dallas Cowboys Feel The Jason Garrett Excitement!!

    Hey, Wade Phillips: There may be an opening in Houston soon​The Wade Phillips Era is over in Dallas. And everywhere else, as a matter of fact. Multiple sources are reporting that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has axed Phillips in the wake of the highly entertaining rout by Green Bay last night. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 4, 2010

    Dallas Cowboys' Latest Distraction Gimmick: Lap Dances

    Shoulda put this on the giant hi-def​What is it with Dallas football fans that makes a monstrosity of a football stadium want them to have public sex?First it was the boffing on the bathroom stalls. Now it's the front-row lap dance.This woman, obviously bored with whatever ass-kicking the Cowboys ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 14, 2010

    College Football and NFL: Weekend's Best Bets (One Day Early)

    Brett Favre: Readying the "elbow tendonitis" excuse?​If you're keeping score at home, it was not a pretty week for society. In no particular order, in the last seven days, the following occurred: -- Much like the self-handling of his own Johnson (and we have the pictures to prove it), Brett Favre ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 11, 2010

    Giants 34, Texans 10: Another Tough Defense, Another Breakdown For The Houston Offense

    Texans: Let's not get physical​We knew the Texans' young defense could have games like this. A second disastrous performance in five outings for the supposedly-elite Houston offense, however, is incredibly concerning.The numbers are baffling. 195 total yards. 1.6 yards per rush with what had been ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 6, 2010

    Five Memorable Athlete-Musician Hookups

    ​In a few hours, Carrie Underwood will be onstage at Toyota Center. Besides being an all-around American girl who will mess you up if you cheat on her, Underwood once dated Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and married Mike Fisher of the Ottawa Senators back in July. That's right, a hockey ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 1, 2010

    College Football and NFL: This Weekend's Best Bets

    The Dr Pepper commercial can't be far behind​Now that The Office has turned into a big, directionless mess, the title for Most Watchable Thing on Thursday night television (with apologies to It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia and The League) is the two-minute "Dr. Lou" segments that run at halftime ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2010

    Texans-Cowboys Debacle 2010 -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

    The Texans bombed big-time​In retrospect, we probably should have seen this coming. For all the talk about this being a different Texans team, about the Cowboys coming in as a wounded animal, about Wade Phillips being thrilled about the noon kickoff so he wouldn't miss the early bird special, has ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 27, 2010

    Rappers Talk Trash Before And After Cowboys-Texans Debacle

    Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn't a national holiday Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture. Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray​This Week's Panel: Fat Tony, Kyle Hubbard, Brad Gilmore, John Dew, Fr ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 24, 2010

    Texans-Cowboys: Five Things To Watch (Actual Football Analysis)

    And the prediction is.....​The Texans are 60 minutes from reaching their highest point in franchise history.For a team with as short a history as the Texans, it's easy to be overly dramatic and lose perspective. Yet on this particular Sunday, the game truly is that important.A win over the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 24, 2010

    Houston Texans -- F the Cowboys (or #FDACOWBOYS on Twitter)

    cutline​Not long ago, I got into a brief discussion on Twitter with another radio personality whom I am forbidden to name whose name I don't exactly recall. I don't remember the crux of the tweet-versation (something having to do with blogs and the inherent evil that blogs possess to anyone over ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 23, 2010

    The Five Worst Musical NFL Players

    myspace.com/freereignFree Reign, or "God's Revenge"​Professional football players dabbling in music? What could possibly go wrong? Glad you asked. You did ask, right? 5. Ben Utecht, Cincinnati Bengals Ben Utecht suffered a concussion while working out with the Cincinnati Bengals and decide ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 23, 2010

    The Ten Worst Songs About Cowboys

    ​Sunday at noon, the Dallas Cowboys and our own Houston Texans face off at Reliant Stadium. The Texans are 2-0 and the Cowboys have not won one game at all this year. The Texans have won two games, and the Cowboys do not have any wins. At all. Understandably, spirits are high this week on bo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 21, 2010

    Five Best Dallas Cowboys Arrests, Many Of Them Sexually Related

    Lance Rentzel, with his pants on​It's Cowboys Week. Just like in Green Bay, where Bears Week is always noted on the calendar, the days leading up to Sunday's game at Reliant Stadium deserve a capital W.Of course, we should be taking pity on the Cowboys. They are, after all, coached by Wade Phillip ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 20, 2010

    Texans 30, Redskins 27: This Was The Game Great Teams Win, And The Old Texans Lose

    Arian Foster's a perfect 6-0​On the surface, it could seem silly to characterize a 3-point overtime escape in Washington as more of a season-defining moment than a blowout of rival Indianapolis. But when you consider where the now 2-0 Texans have been, that appears to be exactly the case.Ask New O ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 20, 2010

    Houston Texans Turn The Corner -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

    Neil Rackers -- He's no Kris Brown​I shouldn't enjoy carnage as much as I do, but I have to admit that a few hours after Neil Rackers' 35-yard field goal sailed through the uprights, sending the Houston Texans to an improbable 30-27 overtime win over the Washington Redskins yesterday afternoon, My ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2010

    Dallas Cowboys: America's Most Popular Team, To America's Discredit

    Dallas Cowboys: America has no taste​The Neilsen Company, the people who give you TV ratings, have done an extensive study on how popular various NFL teams are.According to the Wall Street Journal, the study examined "each team's local and national TV rankings, how often they're mentioned on the I ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2010

    Game Time: Football -- This Season's First Round of Best Bets

    Oregon Ducks: Ignore the uniforms and jump onboard​Okay, it's the first officially great football weekend of the season (loaded college slate plus first weekend of NFL).Last weekend's college slate was sort of like a "soft" opening for a new restaurant, working out the kinks in anticipation of the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 10, 2010

    Rick Perry Chides Redskins Fans, And Is Actually Kind Of Funny Doing So

    Rick Perry mocks you, effectively​Governor Rick Perry has never exactly come across as someone with a good sense of humor, unless you like tired jabs involving things like "hot air" and "Washington."But either he's gotten funnier or (more likely) his staff has stepped up. Because Perry has issued ... More >>

  • News

    September 2, 2010

    Our Year

    Will Texans make it to playoffs?

  • Blogs

    August 30, 2010

    Texans 23, Cowboys 7: Does Houston Finally Have An Offensive Line

    Arian Foster may actually have holes to run through​Over the course of their brief existence, the Texans and offensive line woes have been synonymous. Could it now be that the long-standing source of franchise ridicule has become a foundation of strength?In recent years, savvy draft picks like ta ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 30, 2010

    GAME TIME: Texans-Cowboys -- 5 Winners, 5 Losers

    Photo by Marco TorresYour face-painting will be in vain!​It's the preseason and we must remember that the Dallas Cowboys are making a return trip to Reliant Stadium in about a month, so let's not get crazy over what the Texans' 23-7 manhandling of the Cowboys on Saturday night means in the big pic ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 10, 2010

    License Plate Auction: The Bidding For World's Dumbest Texan Will Open Soon

    Vanity plates, thy name is Texas​Ever since the state privatized its vanity license plate business a while back, the company that's taken it over has gotten more and more creative.They greatly expanded the variety of plates you could grossly overpay for, and offered a groovy online app where you c ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 21, 2010

    Game Time: I, For One, Am Excited About the Texans Schedule

    ​As far as an industry goes, there is a lot for the National Football League to be proud of. Massive global appeal, groundbreaking television offerings surrounding both the games themselves as well as the happenings behind the scenes, competitive balance -- all reasons it's the most successful ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 5, 2010

    For Opening Day: The Worst Pregame Renditions Of The National Anthem Ever

    What so proudly we hailed... Can you pass the earplugs, please?​ You can be forgiven for not realizing Opening Day for baseball season was here already (yesterday, in fact). Maybe you've been too busy cursing the guy in your NCAA tournament pool that filled out his brackets using the coin-flip met ... More >>

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