Subject:

NFC South

  • Blogs

    July 21, 2014

    Fantasy Crime League Update: St. Louis Rams LB Arrested With Former Houston Rocket

    It's crunch time now, the time where the true greats show why we revere them so. Yes, the NFL offseason is merely days away from ending, and while this year's police blotter has been more sparse than usual in terms of overall crime, the race to the finish is highly compelling. It's almost like we a ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 15, 2014

    Fantasy Crime League Update: Jimmy Smith Makes It Five Ravens Arrested

    We've seen this Harbaugh Brothers movie before. One Harbaugh has a team that jumps out to a huge lead, only to see the other brother's charges come storming back to make it a contest. We saw it in Super Bowl XLVII in New Orleans, John's Ravens taking a huge lead in the third quarter only to see Jim ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 30, 2014

    Fantasy Crime League Tease: Dallas PD Mistakenly Tweets Aqib Talib Arrested (Turns Out To Be Talib's Brother)

    We are counting down now to the end of the 2014 Fantasy Crime season, as we are inside of one month now until actual NFL training camp officially begins. Conspicuous by their absence thus far in the crime season has been the Denver Broncos, who have historically been one of the more criminally activ ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 13, 2014

    Houston Texans: The Truth On Tom Savage's Chances For Success

    Mathematically, the most certain way (or more accurately, the least uncertain way) to acquire a franchise quarterback in the NFL is to choose one with the first pick of the draft. For the third time in their franchise's history, the Houston Texans had the first pick in the NFL Draft last Thursday. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 14, 2014

    Fantasy Crime League Update: Aldon Smith Begins What Could Be 49er Surge

    If Vegas had put out a big board on Sunday afternoon with a futures bet on "Next San Francisco 49er most likely to be charged with a crime," the prohibitive favorite would have been quarterback Colin Kaepernick. After all, Kaepernick is under investigation for a "suspicious incident" in Miami where ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 10, 2014

    Houston Texans Tough Choice: Number One Draft Pick is a Blessing and a Curse

    You wouldn't think a team would consider having the number one pick in the draft an unenviable position, but the Texans may indeed find themselves in that very spot come May. Much like the last time the Texans picked at the top of the NFL draft, there is no consensus sure thing. In 2006, it came dow ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 1, 2014

    Fantasy Crime League: Bengals Get On The Board! (It Was Just a Matter of Time)

    Every team is susceptible to a lull in their season, and sometimes that lull comes at the beginning. Slow starts happen. For some teams, they are a harbinger of things to come. The slow start isn't so much a lull as it is just a fraction of a bigger pile of underachievement. For some teams, though ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 24, 2014

    NFL Fantasy Crime League Update: Titans Bit Player Busted on Solicitation Charge

    First, as the commissioner of Fantasy Crime League, allow me to apologize. The totally fake bylaws of the FCL read, and I quote: "Bylaw 2.14.5.1.7: All employees, players and front office, of a franchise are considered eligible scorers, and shall thusly be treated as such, ipso facto ad nauseam." ( ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 31, 2014

    Football Music: Looking Back on NFL Jams

    Super Bowl XLVIII is this weekend and though it's probably still stinging for many Texans fans that their Super Bowl dreams went up in smoke sometime around week three of the regular season, most of them will still be tuning in to see the Denver Broncos and Seattle Seahawks go head to head. In the ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 12, 2013

    Zapruder Analysis Of Three Arkansas Fans' Creepy Courting Of Jon Gruden

    Pre-techonology, paying tribute use to be so much more difficult to pull off. However, now with an iPhone, a YouTube account, and a cursory knowledge of some editing software, any ol' country bumpkin can tell their college football coach in song that they think he's the next big thing. The mercu ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 22, 2013

    This Weekend's Best Bets: Brooke Hogan's Engagement To Dallas Cowboy Crumbles

    If there has been one subtle development in the world of wagering that has been a true godsend (because God doesn't have enough on his plate, He must send things to degenerate gamblers), it's been the addition of non-sports wagers to the various betting windows (actual and online) around the world. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 28, 2013

    Last Week's TLC Movie Is Already a Damn Classic

    [In his new column, Houston's award-winning goofball Shea Serrano writes about his life and times. Better put on your shoes, because your socks are about to be blown off -- ed.] Last Monday night I watched the movie about TLC, the most important all-girl rap group of all time. It came on VH1. I was ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 5, 2013

    NFL Player Prop Bets And The Most Questionable Fantasy Football Decision Ever

    This is one of those mornings that I'm really thankful that sports betting exists (as opposed to the other 364 mornings out of the year that I'm thankful sports betting exists), because on the morning after my fantasy football auction I am always dragging, and frankly, things like "player prop bets" ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 3, 2013

    Houston Texans 53 Man Roster (Plus 8) Tidbits: People Sift Through Our Garbage Now!

    Full disclosure: I've never sifted through someone else's garbage, and I've never acquired any piece of my furniture by snagging it from the end of someone's driveway after they've thrown it out. But to each their own, and if you've done this before, hey, as Tony Soprano would say, "Ya do whatcha ... More >>

  • Blogs

    July 26, 2013

    Biggest Loser v 8.0 -- This Ridiculous Arkansas Football Fan

    The internet and technology in 2013 are awesome. I mean, who would have thought a decade ago that we would have the capability of gazing into our very own video camera (on our phones, no less!), busting out an acapella rendition of a homemade ode to our favorite college football team, and then uplo ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 20, 2013

    2013 Crimesman Trophy: Storm Clouds Gather Around Patriots TE Aaron Hernandez

    First, a big thank-you to everybody who helped me cobble together what I think is now a complete 2013 Crimesman Trophy scoreboard. I had no idea there were so many places that tracked NFL crime on the internet! Knowing that these resources are indeed available, who's in with me on an NFL Crime Fan ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 12, 2013

    How Does The 2013 QB Class Stack Up According To The "Parcells Rules"?

    A few months ago, former head coaching great Bill Parcells was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, slated to be inducted this summer. If you're looking for the reasons why, there are obviously plenty -- twice named NFL Coach of the Year, twice a Super Bowl winner, three times a Super Bowl part ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 4, 2013

    Super Bowl XLVII: 4 Winners, 4 Losers

    "Ain't about redemption. Ain't about that. It's a business. The Texans gave me my chance out of Lane College, and now I'm a champion." -- Jacoby Jones On a night where the only thing standing between Jacoby Jones and the Super Bowl MVP award being a yeoman's performance from Joe Flacco was the seco ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 1, 2013

    Someone Help This Nun Get Into The Super Bowl -- She'll Make It Worth Your While

    Sister Mary Tarcisius from Lafayette has a problem. The spunky nun from just down I-10 needs a ticket to the Super Bowl. She went in 2009, but would like to go again this year. I encountered Sister Mary at the NFL Fan Experience on Thursday evening, chatting with a group of friends who took her to ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 15, 2013

    As A Quarterback, Matt Schaub Is The Worst Kind Of High Maintenance Chick

    "What if this is the best I'll ever look, the best I'll ever be, the best I'll ever do-and it's not very good?" -- Mitch Robbins in City Slickers For the Houston Texans, 2012 was supposed to be better than 2011. I suppose if you want to take the term "better" to its ultra-literal core, the team's r ... More >>

  • Music

    January 3, 2013

    Inglorious Basterds

    12 things we learned about Houston rap in 2012.

  • Dining

    September 20, 2012

    A Fire at the Broken Spoke

    Roy de la Garza on what's next.

  • Blogs

    September 14, 2012

    Football! This Weekend's Best Bets, "Taking The Escalator" Edition (Also, Praise For UConn's Jim Calhoun)

    Sitting and watching Jim Calhoun's retirement press conference as I type this post, and I got to thinking....it's nice to build something. In 1986, Jim Calhoun inherited a UConn men's basketball program that was 12-16 the year before and to that point had won just four NCAA tournament games in its ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 13, 2012

    Texans Tailgate Thursdays: The Lone Spot Tailgaters on Guacamole and Beer for Breakfast

    It's well known that the Houston Texans have one of the greatest tailgating traditions in the country, a fact made more impressive by the team's relative youth. Each Thursday during football season, we're spotlighting one of the groups that makes Texans tailgating the pride of Houston. I was surpri ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 30, 2012

    Houston Texans: Some Pre-Final Preseason Game 53-Man Roster-tology!

    Thursday night, the Texans' 2012 preseason wraps up with a game against the Minnesota Vikings. The game is meaningful to a couple dozen guys still battling for roster and practice squad spots (and REALLY degenerate gamblers -- seriously, final preseason game gambling is the bestiality porn of the ga ... More >>

  • Blogs

    August 15, 2012

    Texans Rewind: I Found a 2008 NFL Preview Magazine, Man Alive Was the Texans Defense Bad

    On our radio show on 1560 The Game this past Monday, John Granato and I were breaking down various aspects of both the Texans 26-13 win over the Panthers and the preseason in general. The topic was the defense, specifically Whitney Mercilus and the various ways that Texans defensive coordinator Wade ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 20, 2012

    U.S. Open Rooster-Crow Guy Will NOT Face Charges (w/ VIDEO)

    After a Monday that saw a few significant legal waves ripple throughout the sports world -- a "not guilty" verdict for Roger Clemens in his federal perjury trial, continued disturbing testimony in the Jerry Sandusky child molestation trial, Roger Goodell cackling at the appeals of the suspended New ... More >>

  • Blogs

    June 14, 2012

    NBA Commish David Stern Asks Jim Rome "Have You Stopped Beating Your Wife Yet?"

    "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" -- NBA Commissioner David Stern in what I hope was a rhetorical question to Jim Rome, 6/13/12 Since the first NBA Draft Lottery in 1985 gift-wrapped Patrick Ewing to the downtrodden New York Knicks, there have been conspiracy theorists galore that have sur ... More >>

  • Blogs

    May 18, 2012

    The Sports Hall of Shame, an Idea Long Overdue

    A week or so ago, you may remember, I wrote a post about the auction for Bobby Petrino's crash-damaged motorcycle. The majority of the post was an outline of my idea to turn the crumpled-up love machine into a profit center by selling photo opportunities for fans to pose on the bike. At the end o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 26, 2012

    2012 NFL Draft -- Live Blog

    I made an analogy on my radio show this morning on 1560 The Game that the NFL Draft tonight is like Christmas Day for many NFL fans. Air of anticipation, excitement of the unknown, food, it's all there. (My co-host, John Granato, compared it to Hanukkah because it's played out over several days, but ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 19, 2012

    The 2012 NFL Schedule Is Here! The 2012 NFL Schedule Is Here!

    In the timeless Steve Martin comedy The Jerk, there's a famous scene where Martin's character Navin R. Johnson sprints across the parking lot to snag a copy of the new phone book to confirm that, indeed, his name and phone number are included. When he is able to find his name he screams that inclus ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 18, 2012

    Don't Play It Again, Sam: More Terrible Remakes Of Great Songs (By The Original Artists)

    Rocks Off covered Eric Clapton's "Layla" and several other awful updates in January. Sometimes an artist hits it big with one great song. Real big, real fast. Before they know it, they're the hot-button item, on the lips of the hip and influential across the world. Of course, a sudden rise to fame ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 2, 2012

    Forever Young: Musicians Who Refuse To Age

    The other day, looking around on YouTube for Pantera stuff -- did you know that this month Vulgar Display Of Power turns 20? -- I found a relatively recent clip of lead singer Phil Anselmo VH1 Classic's That Metal Show from late 2010. The current Down crooner and mouth from the south was guesting on ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 23, 2012

    Texans Offseason Blueprint: Five Moves Needed to Become AFC Favorites

    ​If Sunday's AFC championship proved anything, it's that the Texans with T.J. Yates were a legitimate threat to reach the Super Bowl. The same Ravens that the Texans so thoroughly dominated in Baltimore one week earlier (save mostly-unforced turnovers) had the title in Lee Evans's grasp and o ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 18, 2012

    Two Ways to Get Over the Texans' Loss on Sunday

    I hear the Texans lost on Sunday. I say "hear" because I couldn't bear the stress of watching the playoff game, and instead spent the afternoon away from all televisions and Internet-enabled phones at a living history museum in Lafayette, where the locals were already smarting after the Saints' loss ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 23, 2011

    Colts 19, Texans 16: The Day The Sports Gods Reminded Houstonians To Know Our Role

    Oh, there goes gravity​For months, it seemed as though the Texans were the average Houstonian's sports salvation. Never mind the Astros' status as the worst organization in baseball and a Bud Selig-forced move to the American League after 50 years. Never mind that the Rockets, after cleverly ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 12, 2011

    Texans/Bengals -- 4 Winning Plays That Never Would Have Happened in 2010

    T.J. Yates is on a roll.​Sunday morning, about an hour before the Texans and Bengals kicked off, I was driving to the grocery store with my girlfriend Amy to pick up some "Texans watching" supplies -- chips, sandwich paraphernalia, beverages, etc. (Xanax no longer necessary this season.) Unsol ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 22, 2011

    Marcus Manchild Finishes Out Tour in Style

    Houston rapper Marcus Manchild and his label partners at AMG (Authentik Music Group), Wodie, George, Chad and Nate, just finished traveling the country as part of the Smoker's Club Tour, headlined by Method Man, Curren$y and Big K.R.I.T. The Smoker's Club tour was at Warehouse Live November 11 (read ... More >>

  • Blogs

    April 28, 2011

    2011 NFL Draft -- Live Blog

    I am not an NFL Draft expert. How's that for unbridled confidence? Right out of the shoot, in a live blog for the NFL Draft, a host of a sports talk show is admitting that he's not an expert at something sports related, let alone the thing at which he's about to live blog. If you're looking for l ... More >>

  • Blogs

    March 22, 2011

    My Madden 2012 Cover Ballot

    What do you think should go on the cover of Madden 12?​I've said it before, I'm a total sucker for lists. "5 Best This." "8 Worst That." "9 Reasons So-and-so Boned Such-and-such." List it and I'm in. Some will criticize this, and call it a sign of a lazy mind, that I need my world assembled ... More >>

  • Blogs

    February 7, 2011

    Super Bowl XLV -- At Least It Was A Good Game

    This means sonething different when Ben Roethlisberger does it​Okay, so now we can put the whole Brett Favre/Aaron Rodgers thing to bed, right? While Aaron Rodgers still has a ton of work to do to build the overall resume of the Ol' Dongslinger, yesterday's win over the Steelers, and just as ... More >>

  • Blogs

    January 10, 2011

    NFL Postseason -- Celebrating Week 1, Texans-Fan Style

    Ain't no party like a Texan-fans party​There apparently was a pretty good first weekend of NFL playoffs this weekend. From what I heard, the 7-9 Seahawks pulled off a huge upset of the defending champion New Orleans Saints. I guess that the Jets managed to pull off a road win over the Colt ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 14, 2010

    One Guy's Thoughts On The Sports Year: 25 Things To Remember

    So with the end of the year fast approaching, I thought I would take some time to revisit some of the highlights, and lowlights, of this past sports year. Your list is probably different, but these are the things that caught my attention this year. maxim.com Thanks for everything, Jenn​1. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    November 22, 2010

    Houston Texans - Jobber To The Stars

    Just call him Gary "Special Delivery" Kubiak​"You just keep playin', you work hard in this business...keep workin', believe in what you're doin', keep your chin up, and keep pluggin', somethin' good will go our way." -- Gary Kubiak, 11/21/10 (but truth be told, he's said some variation of thi ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 28, 2010

    Happy Hour Scene: Phil's Texas Barbecue

    ​The Place: Phil's Texas Barbecue110 S. Heights Blvd.713-862-8600www.philstxbbq.comThe Hours: Seven days a week, 4-7 p.m.The Deals: Domestics are $2.50, well drinks are $2.25. There are also nightly specials, which the bartender chooses. Wednesday night, for example, featured $10 buckets of be ... More >>

  • Blogs

    October 6, 2010

    Five Memorable Athlete-Musician Hookups

    ​In a few hours, Carrie Underwood will be onstage at Toyota Center. Besides being an all-around American girl who will mess you up if you cheat on her, Underwood once dated Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and married Mike Fisher of the Ottawa Senators back in July. That's right, a hockey ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 17, 2010

    College Football & NFL -- This Weekend's Best Bets

    Reggie Bush has always been a cheater​I'll get to the Best Bets of the weekend in a second, I promise, but first some venting.Reggie Bush is rapidly moving up my most hated list.Not because he chose to attend Southern Cal instead of Notre Dame. Not because the defining play of Notre Dame's decade ... More >>

  • Blogs

    September 9, 2010

    Game Time: NFL 2010 -- A Journey In Wagering

    Betting is fun! If you don't mind losing​The first week of the NFL season is always one of the busiest for me. I've never been an accountant, nor will I ever be an accountant, but I would imagine that the first week of college and NFL football together is how the week of April 15 feels for someon ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 9, 2008

    Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Really? That Good?

    "That's as good a win as I've ever been around," Gary Kubiak said Sunday after the Texans 24-21 win over the Green Bay Packers. This probably explains why the Texans are a crappy team. Gary Kubiak was John Elway's backup on the day of The Drive, one of the greatest games in NFL playoff history. ... More >>

  • Blogs

    December 2, 2008

    Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking: Were You Ready for Some Boring Football?

    I can't believe I wasted over three hours of my life watching the Houston Texans last night. Sure, they won the game 30-17, but damn, that was an awful game to watch. I found the document review I was working on to be more interesting than most of that game - and you attorneys out there know that ... More >>

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